:

Publius Leget wrote Sun 1/20/19 @10:17 CST:

OK, so just what are the 37 accepted ways to spell Brittany?

We anticipated your question; so, we've been working on it.
First of all, there is only one correct spelling:

Brittany  [it's a "department"* of France].

Then, 36 generally accepted misspellings (listed
    by most efficient spelling in the left-hand col-
    umn, alphabetically in the right-hand):

1.  Britny             Britani
   
2.  Britni              Britany
   
3.  Britney           Britainy
4.  Brittni             Britnay
5.  Brittny            Britney
6.  Britnay           Britni
7.  Brittney          Britnie
8.  Brittnay          Britny
9.  Britani            Brittainy
10.  Britany           Brittaneigh
    
11.  Britainy          Brittanni
12.  Brittainy         Brittanny
    
13.  Brittanni         Brittnay
    
14.   Brittanny       Brittney
    
15.  Brittaneigh     Brittni
16.  Britnie            Brittny
    

Ok, that's only 17, with Brittany.  But it sure seems like 37.
                                                                                                    – Editor
* That's what's called a "province" in the "Britannic" world.

Elkhart County was building Amish buggy lanes along its roads. . . .

A school bus crashed into a tow truck, three parked cars and a church
in Indianapolis, sending four students and two adults to the hospital.

                                                                [courtesy Columbus Republic]

keenaben.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Keenan Sconiers, BM, 5'8", 170 lbs, meth; Benjamin Nettrour, WM, 6'0", 160 lbs, meth; Steven Martin, BM, 5'6", 185 lbs, auto theft; Andrew Fairley, WM, 6'0", 150 lbs, legend drug (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A woman in Cave City was charged with 70 counts of animal cruelty
after officers found 28 dead chickens,  a  dead  cat,  19 malnourished
chickens and 22 malnourished dogs and cats at her home. . . .

Native American activist  Nathan   Phillips  offered to visit Covington
Catholic High School for a dialogue about cultural understanding (and
the school's Friday basketball game was canceled).
                                                                                     [courtesy LEX18]
                                           

colegrov.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Carl Colegrove, WM, 36, 6'2", 175 lbs, failure to register; Juquisha Beasley, BF, 30, 5'6", 140 lbs, failure to apply; Danny Conrad, WM, 6'0", 150 lbs, failure to inspire; Lindsey Blair, WF, 31, 5'8", 130 lbs, failure to inquire; Evan Lawless, WM,  37, 6'1", 250 lbs, failure to qualify; Shileka Hill, BF, 36, 5'5", 265 lbs, Yorkshire hog of the week (pulled kicking and screamiing from the Herald-Leader)

                 

stephani.jpg Perps in Paducah (McCracken County Sheriff): Stephanie R. Stavrum, 29, probation violation; Ronnie J. Dawson, 30, bail jumping; Felicia A. Griggs, 37, bail jumping

Classic quotations of the Wheat (Simon said August 28, 2016): "You can settle for less on everything but three:   Dope, beer, and toilet paper."                                                          – Leonard Simon

dancheek.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County (Texas) Sheriff): Daniel Cheek, 32, theft; Georgia Molkentin, 41, nonsupport; Raquel Sanchez, 43, public drunk; Kerry Cumba, 54, burglary; Tevyn Thomas, 24, defective lights; Linda Garcia, 24, mental; Morgan Sparkman, 22, drug paraphernalia; Lindsey Lopez, 29, as.; Jamie Jones, 33, marijuana

A 35-year-old Japanese man  married an internet celebrity cyber holo-
gram, Hatsun Miku – spending $18,000 on the wedding.  .  .  .  A sub-
stitute first grade teacher was banned from Cedar Hill School in Mont-
ville, New Jersey,  after debunking Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny,  the
Tooth Fairy and the Elf on a Shelf. . . . A 65-year-old man in York Ha-
ven, Pennsylvania, was enjoying snuggles and hugs from his 5-foot e-
motional support alligator.  . . . The European Court of Human Rights
ordered Italy to pay Amanda Knox damages  for police' failure to pro-
vide legal assistance and an independent interpreter  during a night of
questioning after the Nov. 1, 2007, slaying of her British roommate....
A 5-year-old boy who fell asleep on his way to school was left on the
school bus for seven hours at the bus depot in Pike Creek, Delaware.
. . . Bryan Singer,  director of the film Bohemian Rhapsody,  was  re-
moved from an award nomination for  making  the  #MeToo list.. . . .
Ann Coulter called the President a wimp.
                                                                         [courtesy LEX18, AP]

habershm.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Tyrone Habersham, 53, 5'9", 225 lbs, failure to register (Abilene Crime Stoppers); Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Emily Renea Landwehr, WF, a/k/a Lacey Lilith Love, 22, 5'6", 145 lbs, tattoo pitchfork under right eye, probation violation (contr. substs.); Christopher Ray Beaty, WM, 29, 6'3", 170 lbs, agggrav. assault (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

A 10-year-old boy won a science fair prize in Lexington,
Kentucky, with a demonstration that Tom Brady cheated
in the "Deflategate" American Football Conference 2015
championship game.

My wife,  Priscilla,  is objecting to my idea to have a feast of
our pet bison,  Buffalo  Bill,  who  recently  died.  She  thinks
we  should  have  a ceremonial funeral  and  burial.   But  that
would take a lot of digging,  and  a  lot  of  land,  and  a lot of
friends  who didn't really like him to begin with  to  wield  the
shovels.  What do you think?
                                                       Beefuddled in South Dakota

lifetoms.jpg Life Saver Dude: Look out for peeping toms .

DISCUSSION GROUP:         Don't  forget!  Readers interested in  intellectual dissection of  important current events  are invited to attend the Weekly World News  Round  Table  at the   offices   of   Borf   Books   outside Brownsville,Kentucky, just after church every Sunday.   Guest speakers lined up for  meetings  in the near future  include Tracey  Samilton.

:

Army engineers rescued a cat from the Roush Lake dam spillway
in Huntington County.
                                                                            [courtesy KRDV]

A photo of students giving the Nazi salute rattled Zionsville.

                                                             [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

The founder of a women's drug recovery center in  New  Albany,
sentenced to 30 years in prison for drug dealing, was released af-
ter serving only nine months of her term. . . .

Terre Haute proceeded with plans to purchase a Lenco BearCat ar-
mored vehicle for its police over a  pastor's  protest  that  it  would
stoke fear and be counterproductive.
                                                                         [Columbus Republic]

brittnie.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Shawn Fox, BM, 34, 5'10", 210 lbs., bank robbery; Brittnie Nettrour, WM, 5'4", 140 lbs, narc, meth, not one of the 37 accepted ways to spell Brittany; Carly Tobor, BF, 5'4", 90 lbs, meth, conversion; David Winship, WM, 5'7", 180 lbs, theft (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

              

The Louisville Courier-Journal withheld the obituary of an 87-
year-old woman because of a line in it that read,  "Her passing
was hastened by her continued frustration with the Trump  ad-
ministration."

A pit bull dog was napped from a Bowling Green home and held
for ransom.
                                                                      [courtesy LEX18]

Indianapolis  ranked  just outside the top ten of Orkin's annual list
of 50 cities most infested with bedbugs; Louisville and Lexington,
Ky., ranked 42nd  and 44th,  respectively.  Here' s  the  whole  list,
headed by Baltimore, Washington and Chicago (repeats, 1-3), Los
Angeles, and Columbus, Ohio.

Quotations of the Wheat: "You know, these days it's 'Eat,' or 'Be eaten'." – Leonard Simon

crystalk.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Crystall Kichelle Scott, WF, 33, 5' 5", 205 lbs!, tattoos neck "Librra", upper right arm roses, "Nancy,", right ankle "Crystal" in cursive and playette, probation violation (burglary, robbery); dis be da Yorkshire hog of da week if dere be one; Gerald Deanthony Finney, BM, a/k/a Kash, 28, 5'7", 125 lbs, CAUTION GANG MEMBER MAY BE ARMED, tattoos money bags on hands, left forearm "Cash," left hand "Gerald," right forearm "Deanthony," right wrist "Jesus," neck "Tamara," probation violation (poss. of opiates and firearm by a felon); Lakendra Rochelle Tellis, BF, 20, 5'7", 180 lbs, 3' scar on upper left arm; probation violation (battery, causing rude physical contact, theft); Peter James Ruane, WM, 30, 5'5", 110 lbs, opiates, depressants, MJ (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

crazymac (male avatar):  i've got a cam
yukergod (female):  what does not mean?
crazymac:  camera
yukergod:  what does than mean?
crazymac:  want to see me naked?
yukergod:  no
[crazymac split]

shancyb.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Shanna Kauffman, WF, 33, theft of services; Christopher Capuchino, WM, 22, assault w/deadly weapon; Catherine Arreola, WF, 25, controlled substs.; Tara Bruton, WF, 24, burglary of habitation; Erica Hernandez, WF, 38, poss. contr. substs.

Borf 's weekly BONUS:          A "McJesus" sculpture          of  Ronald  McDonald          outraged  Israeli Chris-          tians  at an art museum          in Haifa. . . .An 8-foot          mug with eyes a-glow          in the woods  in Davis          County,  North Caroli-          na,  was prompting re-          ports of "Bigfoot." . . .          The  Royal  Canadian          Mounted  Police  and          hereditary leaders  of          the Wet'suwet'en First          Nation agreed to give          TransCanada’s Coastal          GasLink  crews  access          to   the  site  of the plan-          ned natural gas pipe line

The first woman to referee in the history of the National Foot-
ball League playoffs failed to show her ass in the first Nation-
al football Legaue playoff game to be refereed by a woman
.

lifebatt.jpg Life Saver Dude: A Christmas leftover . . .  Batteries: 'We always get each other ironic gifts, but my brother killed it this year' gifts not included

cletorius.jpg Wanted in Virginia: Cletorious Aretha Fry, probation violation

:

Bruce Mitchell wrote Mon 1/6/19 @23:10 PST re the Burke Ramsey settlement:

Fake news headline.  Nowhere in the article at the link is a settlement of
$750 million reported.  The amount of settlement is not stated at all.

True.  The claim was $750 million, but the amount of the settlement was
not reported.  We were misled by someone's headline.    – Editor

The state was looking for ways to encourage more women and
youth to become game hunters as it continued to issue a declin-
ing number of hunting licenses.  The wildlife preservation pro-
grams rely on the sale of hunting licenses for funding. . . .

Fifty-seven pigeons found in cardboard boxes in a dumpster at
an I-65 rest stop in White  County  were believed to have been
used in a racing game  in which they were released miles from
home to see which would return to their roosts sooner.  Five of
them were dead; two died later, and the rest are up for adoption. . . .

Five dogs rescued by the International Humane Society from Kor-
ean  dog food farms  were doing well at an animal shelter in Mun-
ster.
                                                        [courtesy Columbus Republic]

anthonyc.jpg Indianapolis' most wanted: Anthony Carter. WM. meth; Laura Cessna, WF, battery of a public safety ofcr.; Christine Townsend, BF, welfare fraud; Jameica Atkinson, BF, welfare fraud; Michael Carlton, BM, battery w/a deadly weapon (Crime Stoppers of Central Indiana)

heathgab.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Heather Campbell, WF, 36, 5'4", 140 lbs assault; Kelyl Crouch, WM, 42, 5'4" 120 lbs, impiety in the first degree; Stephanie Gayheart, WF, 48, 5'2", 112 lbs, danger to sell and others; Sybil Hatton, WF, 32, 5'5", 115 lbs, unproductive; Gabrielle Taylor WM, 39, 5'3", 225 lbs, bully; Regina Rainwater, WF, 57, 5'3", 130 lbs, patsy; Harold Whisman, WM, 57, 5'9", 155 lbs, wimp (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Inscription on a T-shirt worn by a defendant to arraignment
court in Brownsville, Edmonson County, Kentucky:
                                                                                       "Thou shall not try me."
                                                                                                                                 – Moor 247

State Senator Julie Raque Adams, of Lou- isville,  introduced  a bill  to make human sex with animals  illegal  (it's  not  against the law  in  West Virginia,  Hawaii,  Wyo- ming, New Mexico, or Washington, D.C., either).                       [courtesy Courier-Journal]                  "That horse's dick was this long!"

Classic quotations of the Wheat (Simon said February 9, 2014): "My home, the community of Sunfish, Ky., is where women are strong,   men are good-looking, and sheep are excited!" – Leonard Simon

polastew.jpg Celebrity lookalikes: Jonathan Polacheck, Jon Stewart

ashlecox.jpg Locked up in San Angelot (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Ashley Cox, 29, forgery; Morning Ogden, 28, Wp knuckles; Miranda Sarzosa, 28, nonsupport; Diamond Lombrana, 32, acc.; Wendy Peterson, 41, fam. assault; Misty Hernandez, 21, forgery; Stephanie O'Keffe, 35, terror threat; rebecca Shepherd, 33, DUI; Ashley Robertson, 30, drug para.; Misty Andrade, 28, fam. ass.

The Saudi Arabian chief prosecutor said the  trial  of  11  persons
for the murder of Jamal Khashoggi had begun, but he  refused  to
identify the defendants (except to say that Crown Prince Moham-
med bin Salman is not one of them).  . . . The Bubonic plague has
struck three cats in Wyoming. . . .  WHEC-TV weather man Jere-
my Kappell lost his job in Rochester, New York, with a reference
to Martin Luther Coon King Jr. Park. . . .  A spill of chicken fing-
ers caused a traffic jam on an Alabama highway . . . A California
man was caught on surveillance video licking  a  doorbell  button
for more than three hours. . . . #MeTwo'ers caught up with Bernie
Sanders.
                                                      [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

I've been married to my second wife for 20  years. We dated
for two years,  and she became impatient with my reluctance
to get married. We both wanted kids, but our timetables were
different.  At 46 I married her because she got pregnant. I am
positive that she did it intentionally.

Ad Feedback

We are different. I am very clean and organized,  and I work
hard.  She is messy to the point of dirty,  stubborn,  disorgan-
ized,  lazy  and vindictive. She has tried to sabotage my rela-
tionships with our two children, now in their late teens.

In spite of her efforts  I have created a good relationship with
my son; but our daughter,  younger,  is another story.    She's
like her mother:  A spoiled brat.    I know I'm partly responsi-
ble, but I'd like to create a loving relationship before she goes
to college. I know it's late to fix this, but do you have any sug-
gestions?
                                                        Getting This Off My Chest

lifetrog.jpg Trojans, Huggies, Luvs, compare and save; Life Saver Dude "even cheaper than an abortion"

Jonell Kerr wrote Sun 12/30/18 @11:47 EST:

Edgar Winter is 72?  What....????  How does this happen?

Who's Edgar Winter?    – Editor

Indianapolis' northern suburb Carmel, in Hamilton County, is said
to be the "roundabout capital" of America, with 122.

                                                             [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

Gasoline stations and convenience stores were avoiding the prohi-
bition on selling cold beer by selling "chill bags" to go with warm
beer.
                                              [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

A U.S. soldier who flew from Colorado to Indianapolis to  kill  his
wife (whose body was found in a trash bin) and then to Thailand is
wanted for desertion as well as for murder.
                                                                         [Columbus Republic]

mstreacy.jpg Terre Haute's most wanted: Timothy Wayne Ebbing, WM, 32, 6'1", 176 lbs, meth; Melissa C. Treacy WF, 46, 5'2", 120 lbs, DUI, drugs; Luis Daniel Aguilar, WM, 35, 5'1", 160 lbs, felony; Ftont Entrance UNKNOWN; Austin L. Melville, WM, 21, 6'0", 195 lbs, burglary, auto theft (Wabash Valley Crime Stoppers)

Dumb news from Kentucky: A Louisville high school teacher threw a New Year's Eve party  at her home in Mount Washington attended by at least 14 juveniles,   with marijuana and alco- hol.                                    [courtesy WDRB]

Officials found a retirement home for the I-65 highway
goat  Houdini,  who was injured last October. . . .

A 188-lb. woman caught an 88-lb. catfish on Kentucky
Lake.
                                                           [courtesy LEX18]

claudato.jpg Louisville'a most wanted: Autumn Renée Sanders (Williamson), WF, 36, 5'4", 127 lbs, theft, heroin; Britney Lynn Crone, WF, 30, 5'7", 120 lbs, probation violation (heroin); Connie M. Keenan, WF, 49, 5'5", 125 lbs, heroin; April Dawn Miller, WF, 36, 5'11", 130 lbs, marijuana; Cody Christin Laudato, 32, 5'5", 120 lbs, criminal mischief (Louisille Metropolitan Police Department)

jbtravis.jpg Celebrity lookalkies: Judge J. B. Hines, Edmonson County, Ky.; Randy Travis

Classic Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said July 10, 2016): "Just as important as having friends in high places is having high   friends in places."                                                                        – Leonard Simon

monicabe.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Monica Renée Bazile, BF, 26, 5'10", 230 lbs, fraud w/intent to obtain controlled substance, Yorkshire hog of the week; Dustin Wachs, WM, 28, 6'0", 140 lbs, poss. of cont. subst.; Amber Dawn Bowlles, WF, 30, 5'3", 120 lbs, controlled substance; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wich. Falls, Tex.): Michael Garcia, WM, 41, 6'0", 175 lbs, probation viol. (aggr. assault); Karissa Horn, WF, 37, 5'6", 160 lbs, possession of narcotics and firearm by a felon (Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County (Kansas) Sheriff)

rhyhemet.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Rhyheme Talton, BM, 25, 11 charges (i.e., the book); Jesica (sic) Robison, BF (sic), 28 theft; Ashley Castillo, WF, 30, family assault; Evagene Shields, WF, 32, forgery; Seleste Robles, WF, 18, poss.; Lisa Lopez, WF, 34, the book; Tiffany Wilson, BF, 37, the book; Sabrina Garcia, WF, 34, posssession of controlled substance

A lion escaped a wildlife conservatory in Burlington, North
Carolina,  and  killed  a 22-year-old woman  working  there
who had just graduated with a degree in  animal  husbandry.
. . . A father booked six consecutive flights to spend Christ-
mas with his daughter,  who is a stewardess  for  Delta  Air
Lines. . . . Thailand legalized medical marijuana. . . . A "cy-
ber attack" delayed distribution of the Chicago Tribune, the
Los Angeles Times  and  the  Baltimore Sun.  .  .  .  Charles
Manson minion  Robert  Beausoleil  was recommended for
parole. . . . An 8th-grade teacher in Mexia,  Texas,  was  ar-
rested for trying to sell her under-age daughter  to  men  in
Morocco for sex. . . . The new Vietnamese PHO restaurant
in Keene,  New Hampshire,  removed its sign after the city
manager found it offensive. . . . CBS agreed to a $750 mil-
lion settlement of the defamation suit filed by Burke Ram-
sey,  JonBenet's  brother  (who was 9 years old  when  she
was murdered at the age of 6). .  .  .  A  6-year-old  girl  in
suburban Flint,  Michigan, posted photos of her dead fath-
er  and unconscious stepmother,  both OD'd on drugs,  on
line, where they were seen by relatives in Tennessee, who
called police to the rescue.

                                            [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

                                                   

                                                                    Viktória Kužmová. Slovakia

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!    Readers  interested  in intellectual  dissection  of  important  cur- rent events are invited to attend the Week- ly World News Round Table at the offices of Borf Books  outside Brownsville, Ken- tucky,    just  after  church  every  Sunday. Guest  speakers  lined up for meetings  in the  near  future  include  Suspenderman.

lifelest.jpg Moe Lester, Life Saver Dude:: Women & children, just stay away from him!