Euchre n etiquette
May 23, 2003
Contrary to popular belief, there is an etiquette to cutthroat euchre.
My Aunt Gin an avid player and a contemporary of Emily Post jotted down the
following list of Donts shortly before she died last year at the age of
120 (some of these apply to euchre in general and some just to games on line):
1.
Dont go alone on the first hand unless
you have a solid loner.
Five sure tricks,
optimally.
Three sure tricks and two highly
probable tricks, at least.
Going alone is
rude to begin with; going alone on the first hand, doubly so.
A marginal loner on the first hand, not made, just heartens the opponents and discourages your
partner.
Its not Desperation City at 0
to 0.
2.
Dont trump your partners ace.
Its not only a matter of good play; its also a matter of courtesy.
When you have the hand wrapped up (three or five tricks in the bag), and your partners
ace is on the table as a winner, dont trump it just because its a meaningless
fourth trick, or because you have your own ace behind your trump, or because you have a bower
you want to show off.
Let your partner take the
trick.
Thats teamwork.
You are showing up not only your opponents when you trump in that situation, you are showing
up your partner also.
Let him in on the fun;
let him feel as if he participated.
3.
Dont play a laydown loner from the
bottom up e.g., king of spades (catches first trick), ace of spades,
jack of clubs (trump now are drawn), ace of hearts (just for smarts), jack of spades.
Or, it can be done even more rudely:
Trump in
with left bower; then lead ace of spades (as if the right were out); then king (as if the right
were out); then ace of hearts; then right bower.
Jesus!
Trump in with the right bower and play down to
the ace of hearts.
4.
Dont say Good game
(at the table) or gg or gga (on line) before the game is over, ever!
How rude!
Its a form of gloating.
If you have it knocked, just say, Game, or Laydown, or Throw-in
(or throw them in, at the table) if thats the case, or just play it out and let
the losers say gg!
And dont say
Good game or gg or gga anyway if it wasnt.
How rude!
5.
Dont say, Fast game, please
(fast game pls, on line).
Have you
ever noticed that its always the last one to sit down at the table who has no
idea with whom he or she has sat down, or what their priorities or constraints may be
who says that?
And, do these idiots not realize that
playing cards is a pastime?
If you are looking
for a sure fire way to slow down the game, just say, Fast game or Play faster,
please.
Doesnt Yahoo! do
enough by itself to slow the game down?
6.
Dont go brb on someone
elses brb.
He or she may be
gone for half a minute, and you may be gone for three; and the rest of the players will be
wondering whether you have been Yahoo!d (or are masturbating).
When you leave your computer, say brb.
7.
Dont sit down as a guest
or watcher and engage one of the players in conversation.
The players have the table (and the floor).
Its OK to kibitz, but kibs should be seen and not heard.
8.
Dont boot someone you have invited to
your table just because he got there after the game started.
How rude can you be?
Invite and
boot?
Give the latecomer credit for enough
intelligence to realize that there are four players there already playing, and to leave on
his own.
Or, let him stay and watch.
What will that hurt?
(Unless he yaks; then you
can boot him.)
9.
Dont narrate the game.
You dont have to say nh, to partner or opponent, either one,
after each hand; you dont have to say nt every time a loner
doesnt take all five tricks, or the makers dont quite get euchred; you dont
have to say ns every time a march is stopped; you dont have to
say ty every time you receive a compliment.
And whats this gla and gle at the start of every game?
Thats so phony.
You dont really
mean that.
You dont want your opponents
to have good luck; you want the good luck.
And, for Gods sake, dont say gj or wd when its
simply the cards that score the point, and not the player.
How stupid!
And dont say ne, ever, under any circumstances.
There is no such thing as a nice euchre.
Its nasty.
(Oops!
Maybe thats my mistake.
Maybe ne
means nasty euchre.
But, thats
redundant.)
Caveat:
If you do these things, you will be
recognized for what you are a woman.
10.
And, for Christs sake, quit saying
lol every time you speak.
If I had
a nickel for every time someone said lol when he was not laughing out
loud, I would be richer than Bill Gates.
BONUS commandments (make it a dozen!):
11.
Dont say, I sure saved your
ass to your partner, or even, Your partner sure saved your ass, to an
opponent, ever.
It may be that the trump
maker had reason to expect his partners help, or intuited it even two or three
tricks worth or more (as on a call of next or across).
Or that he received unexpected help on a donation or semidonation.
It is simply good play, in either case.
Euchre
is, after all, a partnership game.
Think about it.
12.
Never apologize.
This is euchre.
Throw sp out the
window.
And if your partner says it,
dont reply npp.
The correct response
is, That was pretty sorry, all right.
Natty Bumppo, author,
The Columbus Book of
Euchre
Borf Books
http://www.borfents.com
Box 413
Brownsville KY 42210
(270) 597-2187
[copyright 2003]
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