Ira Fails His Captain Harry Buys a Hammer
The Cretin Takes a Piss at
I got kind of frustrated with that
Now, thats the kind of shit we
Well, thats why I got so angry
Did the Cretin tell you how we figured out
|that he and I must have been at the same hotel,
at the same time, like three years before wed
It was in Omaha, Nebraska, and I was with
And Harry Pendleton, who was that crazy
|they had a whole binful.
And Harry said to|
the clerk, Well, I want to try these out. Im
not going to buy a hammer without trying one
And the counter had just brown paper on
In the meantime the clerk stood there look-
ing at us as if to say, What in the fuck is all of
And Harry finally got down to where he
ESME: How big was the circle?
We spent a half-hour in that
The next thing we did was to go into a gro-
|Harry stuck one in the inside pocket of his|
jacket; and we went into a soda shop, and
he ordered a malt. And the waitress brought
the malt, and Harry said, Aw, come on! I
said, To go!
She said, Well, I don t remember your
Then he said, Well, look; Ill tell you what
She said, OK, Ill get you a paper
and he poured the rest of the malt into his
ELLA: Did he stick the straw in his pocket?
Well, one of the things we did
So we took the baby chicks and left a
|about five or six minutes later, the phone rang|
at the desk, and the clerk picked it up and
So I told this story to the Cretin one time,
It was the Rome Hotel the Rome Hotel in
The Peabody Hotel, in Memphis, had
Is that the fountain that the
Cretin pissed in?
No, he didnt piss in the fountain.
BUMPPO: At the Peabody.
At the Peabody, at about 6 or 7 in
TAPE #19: The Akron Mob
Something I heard on the radio
Bands are great for laundering money;
pattern for a long time.
Its great; its a play-
Like when we did the Italian Boys Town
These were benefits, and Sergio would do
several of them a year. Hed pay us, normal-
ly, out of his pocket, and hed go sing for free,
and theyd get a bunch of bread.
Theyd do it in a place where, where those
CRETIN: Its unbelievable. One of their
|mothers made it.
We were in this big, ramb-|
ling house, and there were all these Italian guys
and gals, middle-aged; and the wives were do-
ing all the wife stuff, and all these guys were
mobsters, and their kids, you know? And our
conductor, Wayne, was always asking about
their guns, he wanted to know whether you
could carry a gun in that town; hed engage
these guys in that conversation. And hed
show them his piece, and theyd say no, you
couldnt have a gun in this town, couldnt get
a permit. The only people who could, they
said, were law enforcement, sheriffs deputies.
Whos that? hed say.
deputy sheriff; were deputy sheriffs.
We had to split.
We were eating at one of
|had fixed something and they were bringing it.
And we were going to miss the fucking
So we finally got out of there, and there
And we didnt get stopped.
Its truly Dark Ages shit, man.
They just dont understand|
the double standard involved.
One of those secondary Ohio
Over hamburgers sold!