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      Well, hello and welcome to a mixed medley of my life. I am going to attempt to accentuate the positive, thus the reason for the title "Merry." I want to let everyone see as much as possible about me. I want to share all those things that you may want to know. I will leave the more personal things out though, since I need to leave at least some element of mystery to me.

      My name is Robert. How is that for a start! Anyway, I was born in San Diego, CA on July 8, 1973. I am currently living in Texas while I am stationed at Fort Hood. I am a medic in the US Army. It isn't exactly where I thought I would be at this point in my life, but to realize that, I guess I really need to start at the beginning. In the beginning, God created...hold on, that may be a little too far back! My Dad was military as well. He was in the Navy, so I traveled a great deal as a child. I think that had some effects on me that have a great deal to do with my character. I never spent more than three years in any one place. I moved from California to Italy, back to California and then to Virginia. I finally graduated in Florida after a few moves in between. To say I got around, is putting it mildly

      I actually came out the first time...yes, the first time, while I was in Florida. I was living in Jacksonville when I started working at a fast food store and met a girl that was heavily involved in the gay community. She took me to Gainesville once I confessed to her and myself that I was in fact gay. I have to admit that it was a great culture shock to finally see that there were others like me. And I noticed quickly that there was a wide variety of "family." I guess that most of us have gone through that "are we all alone" phase that I entered at that point. It took me a while to realize that there were many more and that I was not the first to go through the situations and conflicts that I was facing now.

      It was unfortuately a rather traumatic experience for my family when I came out to them about six months later. Having faced disappointment and confusion that I did not know how to handle, I returned to the confines of my "closet." I spent two more years there before I "came out" again. During this time I moved to Arizona where I became heavily involved in religous work. I spent a great deal of time attempting to convice myself, that my sexuality was something that could be changed and that I was going to do it through God. Make no mistake though, I faced a number of struggles during this time. I nearly got married to someone that I cared for thinking that it was strong enough to stem off the feelings I was facing, when in fact, it was the very thing that finally forced me to face reality. It was rather graciously handled by everyone (excluding my family) and I felt that it was possible to finally realize for myself, who I was. It was by no means approved of, but I did realize that it was possible for others to see me as a person without attaching the label that I had been so concerned about. After a number of discussions with my family, I left Arizona to join the military. I was confident that the policy of "don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue" would be enough to sustain me in my career in the Army.

      In this, I was so wrong. I found that while it holds up the political standpoints, the policy does not protect one from prejudice among co-workers. Whether asked or not, it became an issue of hiding. I did this through concocted stories and vague ambiguities. It finally reached a point where I was tired of hiding myself from others. I let the stories and lies I had told, fade into the background and let people wonder for themselves. Incredibly enough, by this time, most people knew me well enough that the shock of the truth was dulled greatly. It took several months for some to even realize what had happened and that I was in fact gay.

      I have been in the military for three years now and have only had one incidence where i faced possible expulsion from the Army. I have since overcome that and educated myself as to the rules of the "game" to such a point that I am actually quite confident of where I stand at this point.

      Making myself known to everyone has never been a neccesity for me. I don't really care who does and doesn't know, however, I refuse to do things different in order to hide myself. If they guess, then they guess. If they don't know, then they don't know. I am not one to argue with other people perceptions of me unless it hurts me or they ask for clarification. One quality I have, is that I have no problem answering questions. I am willing to talk to anyone about any genuine interest that they might have in the topic.

      You may realize rather quickly, just how involved I am in the community as far as education is concerned if you check through any of the links on the left side of this page. You will see that I am involved in the SafeTeen Project, which is an online organization that is dedicated to supplying peer groups and discussion groups to those who have issues they would like to talk about. I am also working with PFLAG Waco and attempting to start a PFLAG chapter here in Killeen. I feel very strongly about public education about our community as well as the needs of others who are still facing dilema in regards to their sexuality.

      I have often been told that I am a overly giving person. I do have great tendency to set myself up to be taken advantage of. I am slightly more cautious now that I was, however, I still aim to help others whenever possible. I can only hope that I can be there for others in a way that I was not capable of having when I came out. It is a struggle for all of us, and support is often the best way to overcome the odds.

      Well, that is enough of the soapbox however. This page is slightly more personal, so I will leave my causes to the other page links that you will find to the left.

On to Personal Opinions

Robert

Killeen, TX