New Blog Site
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Loud (C)rap from the parking lot outside my window
I am on Live Journal now. Go to: http://diana-terrill.livejournal.com/

TTFN!

Saturday
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Jimi Hendrix
Went to Bradley's funeral Saturday. I'd never throught to see him so still; it struck me that he was NEVER still - he buzzed around constantly and could never be completely still. From the words of others at the funeral, he even talked and walked in his sleep. I wanted to speak, but felt constrained by the time limit.

Yes, I was, probably quite unfoundedly, annoyed with the Bishop for cutting short the voices of the people who loved Bradley. I am sure he had a schedule to keep for some reason, but if I'd had my druthers, those microphones would have passed to every single person, one at a time, so that everyone would have had a moment to say what they wanted, if they wanted.

The Bradley I remember the most was the insanely funny, evil little boy who was "Spartacus" to all the other little boys. Trish used to babysit my three boys (Jon, Chris & Peter) and Dorinda's four boys (Bradley, Ferfer, JonJon and Paul). Add Derick and Tressa, stir well, and you had the summer of insanity.

Bradley organized all the trips to Neverland from the backyard, where he would be Captain Hook with Tressa on his shoulders as the parrot. The other boys took turns being Peter Pan and the lost boys, but funny how they all ended up wanting to be pirates instead, under the wily rule of Bradly as Cap'n Hook. (Thank you for reminding me of this, Trish!)

They took trips to Mars in a homemade spaceship made from a table with a cloth over it (Imagine all those boys crammed under the table, in the summer, in Arizona!) and explored the alien environment, making Prince (the Peacock)and the pehens the aliens they were set to conquor, 'killing' the rosebushes and trees with their 'swords' made of wooden spoons and rulers.

Brad was the ringleader, being the oldest (by 2 years or so). And it's not as if none of the other boys had ideas or imagination, but just that Bradley was so charismatic that they often found themselves following his lead.

He taught my boys TERRIBLE things. For instance, how to climb onto the roof, among other things...

And how to smile and get away with murder.

I would come to pick them up after work and find my Jon in one corner, Brad in one corner and Derrick in one corner. All the others would be begging for them to be let out so everyone could play again. It was crazy and I don't know how Trish did it, but at the same time, I envied her that trip into the land of boys.

The thing I know about Brad was, he knew how to live. He seemed to grab life with both hands and drink it down, and with more gusto than anyone I've ever seen. He LIVED while he was alive and maybe packed more years of living into his brief time here than most do in 80 years. We should learn that from him at least.

My head hurts
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: I Will
I am so dragging today - Sunday night I could not sleep - there was a major disturbance in the force...

Come to find out Monday morning that one of my friends' children has gone to the Summerlands - WAY before his time. So of course, last night was difficult as well...

All I can be is stunned - who can sleep when one knows Dorinda is suffering? Who can rest? How will that sweet woman ever rest again? How can any of us?

So we work until we are in a stupor and feel her pain and wish we could do something but there is nothing and doesn't that just add to the emptiness?

I just remember the evil and hilarity and wild passionate nature that was who I remember Bradley to be - and try to smile through the sadness and wish he hadn't gone so soon. Jon heard the news and quoted a friend of his: "Everything that has happened up to this moment has happened exactly the way it was supposed to - because *that's how it happened*." Don't know - it's comforting in a backward way, but also harsh. I don't WANT it to be this way, I don't WANT my friend to be sad. Of course, what has what I Want got to do with it? *sigh* The world spins, time passes, all wounds supposedly heal. We'll see.

I'm so sorry Dorinda. (((HUGS)))

Yow - April 8 already?!
Mood:  not sure
I am much better at keeping my blogs updated, really.

NO, really.

I have been in a stressful time I guess. The place I have been temping at for the past 6 weeks is considering hiring me. Does anyone else in the universe go through periods of utter self-doubt? I seem to be teetering between confidence and "I Suck"ishness a lot lately. I have done a few interviews, but have not really made much effort to "find a job" because I am so worried about the past two law firms happening all over again. *sigh* Must gather my wits about me and struggle through this - and just keep trying - or just continue to drift at the temp agency until I feel better. Erg. Enough of this nonsense.

I live in Arizona. *sigh* This time of year is almost the end of the 'perfect' weather. (At least to me...LOL) All too soon we will be getting into 'triple digits' again and my life in Hell is renewed once more. It makes enjoying the good weather almost frantic, because I KNOW (and I do...) that my time in Heaven will be all too brief.

I wonder if those who wrote the Greek myths about Persephone, Demeter and Hades lived in a climate like this one - because I can almost see the inspiration, if you catch my drift.

I have been writing again - I jury-rigged a keyboard and mouse to my laptop, (as the keyboard stopped working) making a nonsensically complicated situation for myself with my laptop on the kitchen table. Erg. If I type with the keyboard on TOP of the laptop, it's too high, if I type with the keyboard on my lap, it's too low...There must be a way, and I am sure I will figure it out.

What I CAN'T figure out is why, when I want to sit and write, Peter or Chris or Ted or one of the cats DEMAND my utmost attention and affection. Then I feel obligated to pay attention to him/her/it when my fingers are itching to type, until I finally realize they must be 'testing' me or something and tell them to go away.

Which they do.

For a while.

And then the interruptions continue til I want to screech at them. Grr.

And I wonder too about the origins of that phrase "Jury-Rigged", and wonder if it is a literal meaning that has been adapted through the years in reference to paying off the jury to make the verdict come out...But that would be terrible!

(My son Jon points out to me:

"Heh, jury-rigging is a sailing term. Remember that
Engrish comes from latin - the word jury comes from
"adjutare", meaning "relief", "help", "assistance",
etc.
[[Which - I love this site:
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=jury&searchmode=none]]
- and rigging of course is the sailing term for the
series of ropes and crap that hold the masts and sails
together. Now - in a ship without a galley (and
associated slaves) to drive it forward, the mainmast
is the primary source of propulsion - so if this was
damaged or destroyed in a battle at sea or a storm or
what-have-you, the sailors were pretty well up the
creek without a paddle (if you'll excuse the pun.
^_-.). Thus, they would do things like replace the
foremast/mainmast with the mizzenmast (if it was a big
ship; the mizzenmast was the third sail) and whatever
parts they could recover from the mainmast to make it
taller - but without nails or carpentry tools or
anythink, they'd have to just tie it together and
hope/pray it all worked to their advantage. Hence
Jury-Rigging - Rigging that's dangerously improvised
but seems to help in an emergency. ^_^"

Thanks Jon. :)

Okay, enough complaining. :) I am nice and friendly again.

And not depressed. :)

Hooray!!
Mood:  energetic
Jonathan is moving to Alaska - I am not saying hooray because he is moving to Alaska, but I AM saying hooray because I get to see him before he does. He lives/lived in North Carolina since May of 2003, and has been plotting a way to move to Alaska for at LEAST the past year, probably more. Now that he has a job there, he is moving his household/and his life/ to Alaska. One might ask, why on earth would my sun-loving, desert bred son ever move to the land of ice and snow? You will have to ask him - but it COULD possibly invove a girl. Possibly. ;)

Anyway, the reason I am saying hooray is because on his way to Alaska, his flight became delayed and then diverted, and he has a layover in Phoenix. So he got to stop by and stay overnight - and I am ecstatic! I never get to see him as much as I would like. :) So HOORAY! I will be taking off from work at 12:30 and his plane leaves at 8:30 - so I will probably have to get him to the airport by 7:00 at the latest - which means 6 hours of spending time with my wonderful oldest son. Sooooo, you can see why I say Hooray! :)

*dances and twirls* Yippee!! :)

What to say?
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Get this...

Well, you all knew I went to Estrella last weekend - Yes, it was wonderful, yes it was fun - and yes, it was very dusty - and the air was very bad to breathe, what with the dust kicked up by 6,500 people and the campfires at night, and the pollen from trees blooming (Yes, spring in the desert occurrs in February/March). My lungs rebelled, I have been a complete asthmatic for at least a week and a half now, maxed out on my meds, etc., but still, it was all worth it. :)

The bardics were incredible. Every night, we had a bard visit our fire, tucked away as it was, and we had the privilege of hearing them sing. True Thomas (AKA Thomas Whitehart) was there for several hours one night, and a singer I knew only as James (or Jim) came by for about 4 hours one night. I loved everything he sang, but then it only figures because it turns out he has "made it" in Nashville. Love it.

We were even 'treated' so various songs and stories by the Squire Choir, and in particular, Lord Colum, which made the stay so much more fun - we were camping with Sir Dmitri and Mistress Tatiana and the squires all belong to Dmitri anyway - it was great. OH, and Chris recieved his red Squire's belt from Dmitri, which was really cool too. Needless to say, many friendships strengthened/made over the course of the weekend.

On Sunday afternoon during the Queen's Tea, there were literally dozens of people who came to perform - the Knowne Wolrd Choir was one of them and they were wonderful! There was a chance for me to perform as well, but truly, I had more fun listening, (And incidentally, inciting "The Wave" when particularly impressed.) LOL

On Sunday night, there was a bardic festival the likes of which I have rarely seen. They had professional musicians from all over the Knowne World, including our very own Whiskey Bards among others. It was great. The first half was a family show, Peter and I enjoyed it very much. Then later was the "Adult" bawdy show - which was VERY bawdy - no children allowed!! and was still hysterically funny. (Maybe we were all just punchy from all of the dust poisoning and smoke and cold, but I had so much fun!)

Anyway, enough of the music at the war, that was a tangent. (Great as it was...)

The real reason I wanted to blog today was to vent a little bit about something that occurred on Friday morning of the war.

I left work on Wednesday, and stayed late to finish up everything necessary to my three days of vacation. I had no inkling that there was anything wrong or even really hinky, other than that I&G has been a terrible place to work lately. (Very low morale, lots of people leaving, and even I have been thinking about it). At any rate, there was no explanation, but Friday morning at about 10:30 or 11:00 or so, I got a call from Erica (the receptionist) telling me that K___ (I____ of I____ & G______) had told HER to call me and tell me I would no longer have a job when I got back, and that Tuesday they have someone new starting, so I had better come in on Monday to clean out my desk.

Talk about surprised. Yow.

What a rude way to fire someone!!

And though I was not terribly disappointed (Other than the fact that I didn't get to say "I quit!"), it was still a bit of a shock, and a not nice thing to do when someone is on vacation. And there was no explanation. Realize this, I have never been 'spoken to' about any problems or issues, no one has ever told me that my work was at issue or my attitude, nothing. I have never been reprimanded and the people I worked with told me they were happy with my work. Even my Christmas bonus was quite nice, considering the short amount of time I had worked there (Only 7 or 8 months at that point) and even though it was late (beginning of January) it was no problem to me.

So I would really like to know why. I keep putting off calling Kyle, not sure why, but I really do need to know why I was so summarily dismissed.

Very rude.

At any rate, I cleaned out my desk Monday (Left Estrella early) and moped all day Tuesday. Wednesday I went to Kerry's Referrals and by Thursday I was working.

I decided that I would like to try temping for a while - bosses and me do not mix lately it seems.

So that is where it stands, I will try to make an appointment for an 'exit interview' so that he can explain himself somewhatand (if my old boss has the nerve to tell me to my face exactly why I was fired, which I doubt. Rude people after all)

(I know, I know, If wishes were horses, beggers would ride, but it's a thought anyway).

So, on with the rest of my life - I admit that it IS nice to not have to deal with the mean girls anymore!! :)

And any of my friends that are reading this that don't have my current email address, just leave a message in comments and I will email you with it right away. :)

Hi Ho, Hi Ho....
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Volga Boatman's Song. LOL
Topic: ...it's off to war I go..

I am leaving for Estrella War tomorrow - I am very excited - last day at work until Tuesday. Hooray!! :)

I am taking Peter and Chris and we will be camping with about 6000 of our closest friends - fun eh?

In the meantime, I am updating this so everyone knows where I am until Tuesday.

The people at work suddenly realized I would be gone and have kept me pretty busy all day. It's been wild, but I have gotten most everything done and will stay until I am completely finished with everything I have.

*sigh* I will be VERY happy to get out of here tomorrow!!

Byeee!!

AHA!
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Take it Easy
Topic: I knew it!

Earlier this week my blog was regarding shoes, and in particular, heels that look good and hurt like hell to wear.

Today I was reading news and discovered there is a gym in New York called "Crunch" and they have a Stiletto Heel wearing work out. That's right. The girls wear sneakers for the first 40 minutes, building up heel wearing muscles, and then the last 15 minutes of the class, everyone dons high heels and works out in the heels.

It seems to be reminiscent of the Striptease class that is so very popular now (Don't ask - it sounds kind of gross to me, but I suppose those strippers ARE in good shape.)

At any rate, at the end of the article came an interesting fact: they invited a podiatrist to the class to give his opinion - and I quote:

Cyrus called in a podiatrist to assess the class, which has been launched in New York, Los Angeles and Miami. "He said 'You know, the answer is women shouldn't wear heels,'" Cyrus said.

But she said women will wear them anyway.

"Your feet will probably never recover because it's not a position you're meant to be in all day long," she said. "This class will strengthen your legs and your core, it will make it less painful, but it will never be pain free."

I KNEW it. *sigh* At least we are all in it together...

The Dilemma
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: The River

Okay, this may not seem so serious to some people, but to me it is.

I love shoes. ALL the shoes, as long as they are cute, I love them. I love pointy-toed, round-toed, open or close-toed. I love high heels, platforms, stilettos, flats, loafers, mules of every variety.

I just love shoes. ^_^

But the problem is this: I have bad feet. :(

I SHOULD wear shoes with good support, but who can resist a stylish high heel?

So I trade off days. I wear comfortable loafers or nice looking sneakers or flats with good support about half the time. The rest of the time, I wear those heels, those mules with no arch support, those ankle-breakers that make my (short) legs look long at last.

The way I look in heels seduces me - I want to wear them everywhere, all the time and I envision myself lightly stepping throughout the day - but that's all it is, a vision. A happy hallucination brought on by the smell of fine Italian leather.

The reality is this: They pinch my toes, the heels catch on the carpeting, my calves go numb, and my arches ache.

My bunions complain.

I'm developing *gasp* (bum bum BUMMMM) Corns.

What to do?

This morning, I put on a nice multi-hued green skirt and a white lacy short-sleved sweater. What better to go with it than the gorgeous pointy-toed mules that match perfectly? I tried them on. I almost tripped on the way to the bathroom mirror. But there I was, a vision in green matching heels. Mmmm. Loved it. I posed for myself. I had to wear them.

Now, here it is 10:00, and my toes ache. The darn shoes are difficult to walk in. I envision myself dying green leather to match so that I can take said leather to a cobbler to prepare a strap that will hold them more firmly to my feet. I envision myself tripping and ripping my hose in front of all of my friends. I envision myself hurling aforementioned torture devices into a flaming furnace.

But whenever I catch a glimpse of my reflection, I can't help but admire the pretty green and how well it goes with my skirt and how slender my calves are and...*sigh*

Who is in charge of making shoes? Why can't they be pretty AND comfy? Is there a law or something?

Or is it just me? My pain tolerance should be up to it, I've had three children and have a tattoo. I donate blood regularly. I don't even curse if I bonk my head or stub my toe. Or develop a blister.

It is silly to discuss pain tolerance and shoes in the same breath. I once swore that I would NEVER buy shoes that weren't comfortable. Ever.

But then, that was before I became hypnotized by the glamour and allure of a pretty shoe and a longer leg. And the vision of myself as a fashionable, stylish woman.

I wonder if the supermodels are smiling behind their corns and bunions? If the fashionistas and movie stars are bland faced through their torture and pain? If they are suffering for their longer legs with the rest of us? If the designers design the shoes to look nice, but would never put such a medieval device on their own delicate tootsies. If all of us are just like the ballerinas, so prim and silent through the agony of a ruptured blister.

Still - I don't plan on giving them up.

What....?
Mood:  cheeky

Your Power Color Is Blue

Relationships and feelngs are the most important things to you. You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict. If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well. You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.