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Just when you though the world was safe...

Iron Mouse and Kapricorm Present...

How To Successfully Take Over a Small Galaxy and Remain Alive To Gloat About It

The Handy Dandy GuideYes, with the voices inside my head, Sailor Iron Mouse and I came up with these nifty little tips that are a surefire way to global domination and beyond.  If you've been failing again and again at your attempts, check our list to see if you've been doing the right things.  Before you know it, you'll be worshipped and no one will ever cut you off on the Parkway again.


• Don't be courteous; while your enemy is spending an hour introducing his or herself, just blast them and steal any helpful weapons.

• Avoid Tokyo.  Try places like Seattle, Dublin, Rome, or Cleveland. (Also try Middletown, NJ; it's boring here. ^^;;)

• Keep your master plan to yourself.  >_>  <_<  The walls have ears...

• If you must tell your enemy your master plan, make sure it's during their wake.  The chances of your plan being foiled is less likely during this time period, as there is no one ready yet to avenge their death and listen in on what you have to say.  It's also hard for dead people to hear. (Do be aware of any ghosts, though.)

• -If you're a henchman, make sure to give an expensive gift to your ruler every holiday.  This will make them less likely to kill you, as they would want more of your expensive gifts.

• -If lacking funds, be their lover (remember, love knows no gender or species), and don't cheat on them.  If faithful, you will have a long and happy (and possibly pleasing) life.

• If a glaive is ever pointed at your face, just run like hell.

• Never find out your enemy's real identity.  If you do, you will most likely be killed by your ruler, who will all of a sudden decide you're a failure that day (no, not tomorrow, but about five minutes afterwards).

• Yes, time travel is possible.  If you screw up without dying, you have many chances to try again and again (er, that is, until Sailor Pluto beats you up with her giant key [never underestimate those thousand-year-old women]).

• Make sure to do something that makes the script writers want to side with you.  They really like making fools out of villains by tricking them and letting the good guys succeed.

• -Never do anything hurtful towards Kino Makoto (Sailor Jupiter).  If you do, I will personally kill you.

• -Same thing applies with Kaiou Michiru (Sailor Neptune).  However, if you must kill her, at least make sure you kill Ten'ou Haruka (Sailor Uranus), too, so that they can have a romantic scene together.

• Never underestimate your enemy because of their age.  That kid may look two years old, but many powers may lie within. o_o

Never grab Sailor Moon's hand.

• Don't apply that "quality not quantity" junk when sending your monsters after your enemy.  There is no harm in sending twenty or thirty monster to attack your enemy.

• If it looks like you're about to destroy your enemy and all hope is lost for them, beware!  In about a minute or less, they're gonna get powered up by a queen or a horse or the power of love.

• -Beware of rose petals that appear from out of nowhere.  That means the outer senshi have come to kick your ass.

• -Also beware of the sound of fingers snapping.  That means the Starlights have come to kick your ass even harder.

• -Always keep your guard up when concerning teen idol pop groups; you never know when they might gender bend into intergalatic superheroes. (e.g. Hanson) *

• -Don't touch anything that begin with the words "Black hole..." *

• --Have no shame; when "transforming" into your real self, rip off your clothing. Don't be subtle, you're a villian for God's sake. *

Happy dominating!  If you enjoyed this, you can find lots of other evil deeds at Star Goddess's Sailormoon Vortex.  Just a note that her list has been around longer, although I didn't even know about it before I did this.  But don't worry; there hasn't been any plagerizing on either side (we talked it over), because as we all know, stealing sucks. ^_^
Also, Code Name: Sailor Moon has a similar list, but again, no copying involved.

Also, any advice marked with a [*] was contributed by Nezu of Planet Chuu.


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