FRRA Slams Pro Wrestling For Entertainment Value

Retard Signs Name On Sable's Chest

The Future Retarded Restlers Of America is gaining fans everywhere for its unusual form of semi-athletic entertainment.   Young retards are wrestling before large audiences and in some metropolitan areas, garnering television broadcast time.   The FRRA, pronounced Fuh-rar-rar-rah, has fast replaced its sponsor and founding athletic organizations, the WWF and the WCW.   Ironically, the WWF and the WCW were beginning to gain credibility due to their recent partnership with the youth league that mirrors the NFL's alliance with the United Way.  The charity group has the dual purpose of providing athletic opportunities for disadvantaged youth, as well as transforming itself into a "farm system" for potential professional wrestlers.   Fans have left the WWF and WCW in droves after an incident in which actual wrestling occurred at a match in St. Louis.   Retarded wrestling puts two feeble-minded dweebs in a wrestling ring that is round, not square.   As the bell rings to start the match, the referee asks, "Would you get that please?"   If one of the two asks where the phone is, they are told "It's in the corner."   Later they are told to break, and retreat to their corners.   The one who actually lands a punch loses.   Promotional nights have been huge financial successes.   A typical promo for the first thousand spectators who arrive is a bib, and the remainder of fans receive diapers.   Groupies have already begun following their favorite retards.   Instead of lifting their shirts and revealing their breasts however, these retards take off their shoes.   This led to a match being disrupted in Chicago, when the two dipwads in the ring stopped to drool and stare over the ropes while delaying the next fight.   While the FRRA provides the tights, parents have complained that the price of a cape hinders some families from letting their little retards participate.   "Where am I going to find a cape for my boy?   I'm either working or trying to talk him down from the roof, I ain't got no time to go buying a cape for the butt-pipe."