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Millions of woman took to the streets of the nation's capital in protest of lax gun
control and along the way decided to "pick up a few things here and there," according to
participant Cathy Hatherstaph. Clogging the streets and slipping into houses, many
citizens reported finding kitchens cleaned, refrigerators organized, and floors mopped.
No arrests were made, and the city council extended an invitation through the media for the mothers to return each year. "Someone really needed to clean up this pig sty," said one person who asked to remain anonymous. "I actually am dismayed to see these women breaking in using hairpins and nail files just to fulfill their matronly hormonal urges," said Jack Doff, of Redneck Local Union 54. The founder of the Million Mom March, Tina Mayer-Wiener, stated, "The goal of our march was to bring attention to the futility of woman in regards to doing society's bidding: marrying, bringing children into the world, and then watching them as they are gunned down on the way to school, or at school, or on the way home from school, or growing up to become psychopaths who gun down children on the way to school, or at school, or on the way home from school. As a woman, it's frustrating to make cookies and cakes all day for your children when they don't come home because they've been shot." President Clinton welcomed the mothers on the White House lawn, in the Lincoln Bedroom, and in the White House Kitchen. He presented them with keychains with plastic-molded vacuum cleaners, and the newly redesigned Presidential Seal, which shows two cigars crossed in an "x" formation with the American Flag draped around a nearly naked woman. In a related story, the President later created 1500 new mothers to commemorate the event. |