No... I didn't make them up!
- A Pangolin Song?
- Cruel and Unusual I trust you'll agree
- The Plight of the Pangolin
- A classic example of man's inhumanity to anteaters
- A Pangolin Crib Sheet
- Short and Sweet, but slightly indiscrete
Pangolins
The 'Panzers' of the Ant eating world
The information in this section is divided into four basic themes. The truth, extrapolations from the truth, plausible lies, lies, and . Its up to reader to figure it out, but a good example to get you going is that there are five themes listed. The Pangolin is an unusual-looking mammal which has certain body hairs modified into a series of scale-like armour plates. These plates are charged by a series of gelatinous capacitors which in turn take power from proprietary brand batteries stored in the gut wall of the Pangolin. Its strong claws and a very long tongue enable it to rip apart termite nests and lick up their inhabitants. Pangolins routinely suffer from a 'God' Complex, because they actually speak Termi-ant, a patois of the Ant-Termite languages. Originally this evolved to act as a counter to over exploitation of individual insect colonies. "No large scale death today " they would cry and with admirable social responsibility the pangolin would move on to different pastures. Somewhere in history however, a neurotic gene crept into the pangolin psyche, and now many of them revel in the squeals of the dying hordes. If microphones are inserted into an attacked colony, the words "No No the tongue" are barely audible. It grows to a length of around 85 cm and is largely terrestrial, although it is an excellent tree- climber, and several colonies have also been found on the moon. A capable swimmer, and ideal child's toy, it is threatened mainly by habitat destruction, but is also hunted for human consumption.