You really don't have any idea do you. The Hick to Sheep ratio has violently changed, at least in the scales in our town. There is evidence to believe that many sheep are being dare I say, Date Raped. They are subtle but realistic evidence showing it. It is an ugly truth to be faced but it is all too true.

Case #424
Outside of a small, rural, town in Southern Minnesota it was reported that there is evidence to believe there has yet been another date raped sheep out there.

At 2:48a.m., P.A.S.T. member, Igor the Brown Eyed Pickleboy, was called by the local police along with certain members of the ASPCA and the fire department. Why the fire department you ask? Well we don't want any stray kittens in the trees that could be possible wittnesses you know.

"When we got there all we could find were some monster truck tracks and a deceased sheep with the distinct smell of Jack Daniels inside the mouth cavity. Classic date rape account." -Agent Orange, Wilmar County Police

Igor the Brown Eyed Pickle Boy took the sheep in for an autopsy. The results showed nothing other than it had a high blood alcohol content in it. Posibly the driver was also drinking. Signs of spilled Jack Daniels had stained the wool.

Agent Orange and Igor had much to say on the issue. Orange being a decisive and factual person was glad it had rained that evening so that the tracks were still fresh. They both followed the tracks back to their starting point which was the Donner Farms. The monster truck prints seemed to leave a deep impression further down the road. Possibly where they stoped to "park" for a bit.

The persons M.O. easily was decided that one of the Donner family had gotten the animal drunk and sexually molested it.

The Donners monster truck wheels were measured and were calculated to be able to sink in the mud as deep as they did the night before. The only problem: none of them could be convicted due to the fact they all had alibys. Apparently 32 out of the 34 Donners were all on the Owatonna Drag and the other two were playing Nintendo. Super Mario 3 from what other investigations has colaborated.

So you see date rape is a problem. Do you still think that it isn't? Mail me and tell mey why you can be so neglectful of this ever increasing problem. I hope I get no replys.

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