Curves

L. Kathleen Mathis 12/98

I live in a state of incompletion.

Do you?

Everything I do

Makes me more aware

Of this.

Wasting time and energy

I pursued the completion I have never found.

Chasing dreams,

Impatient youth

Compromised

And drove away that hope.

Now time works against me

And I am forced to accept the loneliness

That seems destined to be my mate.

I wonder,

will I ever find "my fit?"

The curves of my soul

Decry it's empty state.

What remains is distorted

by years of compromise,

as I forced piece after piece into the curves

of the puzzle that is my soul,

my impatient attempts to find the mate

to fit these curves

that hollow me.

To become comfortable

Being solitary,

Alone,

I vainly chase the independence I do not want.

I yearn

To live this life again,

To find you sooner

By doing what was right -

No compromise.

I fight

to claim back those years I threw away,

To live the adventures

I didn't dare to seek

chasing after you.

I struggle

To find those parts of me lost

In the shadows of partings,

And secretly I feed the desperate hope

In doing so, I'm preparing

Once again

For you.

Where are you...

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Kathleen

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