Why did the dog take his food out of his dish?
What do you say when you run into a dozen eggs?
When should you wear your bathing suit to go horseback riding?
What's the official space flower?
What did the dog say when it was 10th in a 10-dog race?
What goes up and down, but doesn't move?
How many people live in Brazil?
What do you get when you cross a rooster and a steer?
Why isn't your nose 12 inches long?
What animal has the most ticks?
Why do dogs like trees so much?
What has teeh but no mouth?
What's the best thing to put in your birthday cake?
When Indians sneak up on cowboys in the movies, why don't the cowboys hear them?
What did one pencil say to the other pencil after school?
Why did the girl go outside with her purse open?
When is a car not a car?
What do you call a boy who carries an encyclopedia in his pocket?
How many frogs would fit into a glass of water?
What do gorillas sing at Christmas?
Why did the sheep have to sit in the corner?
A baseball team scored six runs in one inning, but not one man made it to home plate. How can that be?
A crazy scientist went to a professor's house with a bottle of green liquid and said, "I have discovered a liquid that dissolves anything it touches. I have it here in the bottle." The professor said, "I don't believe you." Was the professor right?
Why did the boy put sugar under his pillow?
What do kings and queens do in their spare time?
Where do ships go to get a physical?
What is the astronauts' favourite meal?
What kind of business helps animals that have lost their tails?
What did Cinderella Dolphin wear to the ball?
What does a chicken lay when it eats dynamite?
Three men jumped into a pool. The first two got their hair wet, but the third one didn't. Why not?
How do you make a boy float?
Why did the X take a bath?
Dad: Would you fight a bear?
Courtney: Not bear-handed
First Hunter: I really don't like hunting birds.
Second Hunter: Why not?
First Hunter: They just fowl me up.
Sam: Do you know why the Library of congress is the tallest building in the world?
June: No, why?
Same: Because it has more than a million stories.
Teacher: Who can tell me what an atom is?
Student: Isn't that the guy who was with Eve?
Policeman: Little fellow, why do you keep going around the block?
Little Fellow: I'm running away from home, but I'm not allowed to cross the street by myself.
Jesse: Did you hear the one about the roof?
Mary: No, I didn't.
Jesse: Well, it's over your head, anyway.
A man who lost his job was looking in the paper for work. He had read that one of the gorillas at the zoo had died, so he bought a gorilla suit
and was hired for the job. Everything was going well until one day when he swung too high on the bars and fell through the lion cage. When he started
yelling for help, one of the lions growled, "Be quiet or you'll get us both fired!"
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble, Mrs. Kangaroo?
Kangaroo: I don't know. I just haven't been feeling very jumpy lately.
Father: Son, why do you have a D and an F on your report card?
Son: I think they stand for "Doing Fine."
Teacher: Use the world "climate" in a sentence.
Student: There is a cherry tree in my back yard, but my parents won't let me climb it.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Minnie
Minnie who?
Minnie times I've knocked on this door, and you still haven't opened it.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Knock
Knock who?
Knock it off! I'm trying to read!
Knock, knock
Who's there
Bat
Bat who?
Batter not tell me anymore knock, knock jokes, or I'm going to hit the roof.
Knock, knock
Who's there
Radio
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come!
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wendy
Wendy who?
Wendy wind blows the cradle will rock.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Meat
Meat who?
Meat me at teh door, and you'll find out!
Knock, knock
Who's there
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup with me, and you'll know.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owl
Owl who?
Owl never tell.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Beef
Beef who?
Beef-ore I tell you, you have to let me in.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
Jim: Want to play tennis?
Amy: No, tennis is too loud for me.
Jim: What do you mean?
Amy: Everyone raises a racket!
A jailbird decided to dig his way out of jail. When he ended up in a church
playground, he yelled, "I'm free, I'm free!" A little girl replied,
"Well, I'm older. I'm 4."
Billy: It's very hot today!
Sean: How hot is it?
Billy: It's so hot that the robins are picking their worms up with
potholders.
Teacher: Sara, What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
Sara: I don't know; I wasn't invited.
Mother: What did you learn in school today?
Daughter: How to write.
Mother: What did you write?
Daughter: I don't know. The teacher hasn't taught us to read yet.
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Rhoda
Rhoda who?
Rhoda bike yesterday and fell off!
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Loll
Loll who?
Loll be! Another funny joke!
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Alex
Alex who?
Alex-plain if you open the door.