Just For Fun Page 2


Courses for Men

A new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many 
of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN. That's right, in
just six quarters you, too, can be a real man. Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR

Fall semester:

MEN 101: Combating Stupidity
MEN 102 :You Too Can Do Housework
MEN 103 :PMS- Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104 :We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas

Winter semester:

MEN 110 :Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111 :Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4AM
MEN 112 :Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
MEN 113 :Get a Life, Learn to Cook

Spring semester:

MEN 120 :How NOT To Act Like an Ass When You're Wrong=20
MEN 121 :Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122: YOU, the Weaker Sex
MEN 123 :Reasons to Give Flowers >

SECOND YEAR

Fall semester:

MEN 202 :How to Put the Toilet Seat Down (ONLY ONE SUBJECT AS THIS IS
TOUGH TO GET INTO THEIR HEADS)

Winter semester:

MEN 210 :The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211 :How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children
MEN 212 :You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
MEN 213 :Honest - You Don't Look Like Arnold Schwarzenegger

Spring semester:

MEN 220 :Omitting @#%^^&*! From Your Vocabulary
MEN 221 :Fluffing the Blanket After Farting is Not Necessary
MEN 222 :Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223 :Dear Men, Be real.
 

 
Courses for Women...
HOWARD'S WORDS & OLI'S SUPPORT!
Oh Yeah (in a defiant voice)...
Enough with your male-bashing courses... I just want you to know that we 
the MALE, the stronger sex (Grrrr...) do not need any courses ran by 
unattractive FeminNazis who is at this very moment going through menopause 
and resent men because they can't get a date and still live with their 
parents. :) We (the Mighty Men) feel that we are capable of taking care of 
our own thank you very much. However, I have ran across a list of Women's 
Studies courses they're offering during the winter semester at Berkeley 
which I have listed below:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need New Shoes 
Everyday.
4. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
5. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until 
after>the Game.
6. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.
8. Valuation: Just Because It's Not Important to You .
9. Communication Skills I: Tears-The Last Resort, Not the First.
10. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking.
11. Communication Skills Ill: Getting What You Want, Without Nagging.
12. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire.
13. Party Etiquette: Drinking Your Fair Share.
14. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up.
15. Introduction to Parking.
16. Advanced Parking: Reversing Into A Space.
17. Overcoming Anal Retentive Behaviour: Leaving the Towels on the floor.
18. Water retention: Fact or Fat.
19. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter.
20. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not For Human Consumption.
21. Cooking III: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People.
22. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
23. PMS: Your Problem... Not His.
24. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To.
25. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have.
26. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice.
27. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together.
28. Ballet: For Women Only.
29. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both.
30. Learning to Go in Public Restrooms.
31. Appreciating the Humour of the Three Stooges.
32. "Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big?" - Why Men Lie.
33. TV Remotes: For Men Only.
By the way... A scientific study done in the United States revealed that 
beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they 
fed 100 men 12 pints of lager and observed that 100% of them gained weight, 
talked incessantly without making sense, and couldn't drive.

---------------
by Howard?

 
The Smarter Sex
 A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad
 one.  Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly
 neither of them are hurt. 

 After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're
 a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our
 cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. 
 This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be
 friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." 

 Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you
 completely!"

 "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look
 at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely
 demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God
 wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." 

 Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in
 agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands
 it back to the woman. 

 The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on,
 and hands it back to the man. 

 The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" 

 The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the
 police..."

 -------------------------- 
 by Lindsay Simpson

 
Good News and Bad News
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any
 interest in his paintings on display at that time. 

 "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. 
 "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your 
 work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after 
 your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 
 of your paintings."

 "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the 
 bad news?"

 "The guy was your doctor."

 ----------- 
 by Dave

 
Whose Job Is It?

     There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure Somebody
would do it.  Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.  Somebody
got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.
     Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that
Everybody would not do it.  It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody
when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

 
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