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The Fundamentalists Against Sex, Cars, Information Systems and Technology (FASCIST), yesterday published its election manifesto to the eager public in the last night before the election.
The publication detailed not only their plans for Britain but their views on the core parties and even some of the more eccentric parties who stood in the election.
Homosexual
The document spoke of the "alarming trend towards complete dominance of the Conservatives by queers (homosexuals) and ponces (also homosexuals). The party now has six arse bandits on its Cabinet, such as Michael Heseltine and his rogue hair, not to mention the back bench buggerers.
"The Labour party, conversely, has become a safe haven for dodgy used car salesmen, with the smarmy likes of Tony Blair leading the way to Europe. Where are the real Labour MPs? Gagged in cupboard in Westminster, that's where.
"As for the Liberals, who wants to vote a bunch of floppy wristed, runny eyed abstainers sitting on the political fence who couldn't sort a policy from their own faeces.
"Even some of the fringe parties have become dominated by sleaze. The BNP admit to letting Asians into their party. Some members of the Referendum party admit that they are a bit sad and the Natural Law Party confess Yogic Flying can cause cancer."
Though many of the points raised a valid the part may face a disciplinary hearing after suggesting that Michael Heseltine's hair is rogue.
The leader, Mohammed "Israelis Must Die" Mohammed said that they back all their policies, with arms if necessary.
Estranged
The party stood in their first election since 1979, when Labour's parliament ended, because of the damaging split that occurred after that election. The leader at the time, Abdul Mohammed, said to his deputy that he didn't really believe in his polices and the deputy, Mohammed Mohammed (the new leader), wrested power during a routine party speech at Ford's factory in Berkshire.
Weirder Than Most
All through the parties blighted history of blinkered views on Western society there has been a constant pact between the party and English arms traders.
When questioned, the potential Minister for the Destruction of Modern Society, Mohammed Abdul Mohammed said "we don't buy weapons from the West to further our political gains as others do. No, we buy them up to stop others using them against us to further their political gains."
This statement caused mixed reactions last night. Some accepted it but others, such as the extremist Mohammed Mohammed Mohammed, didn't. He attempted a shooting of the party leader but failed when he realised he had bought a toy gun. When he was interrogated later he said he bought it "off of the back of a FASCIST truck."
This information could be described as sensationalist but ultimately it was down to the voter decide whether they wanted a bunch of weapon crazed, Middle-East, antiquated religion 'care in the community' patients to tun the country.
Further information can be obtained from: 0800 386 734.
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