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The recent phenomenon of quantum physical sports has provoked mixed reactions from the world of armchair spectators and professional sportspersons alike.
Sports such as football can now be played with the application of quantum mechanics. professor Leo Tokopold told us: "Just as an electron can co-exist and have millions of possible paths from one end of a room to the other, so can a football made of piping hot liquid coffee." This would mean an average football team, say, Middlesborough, would be able to field thirteen billion strikers whilst only having eleven players on the field.
Simultaneously
It would be possible to simultaneously score five penalties and five own goals with only one ball. The only down-side is that games must now be held in vacuums suspended and cooled by lasers.
Football is not the only sport to be affected. It is possible to play baseball in specially housed arenas without actually hitting the ball and still getting home runs. This is because the ball can be hit or missed at the same time and you are given the benefit of the doubt over whether you really hit the ball or not.
Howling Madness
Bowling has been irrevocably changed with the advent of quantum sports. Owing to the fractal nature of a quantum bowling bowl in time, it is possible for a player to get a strike by bowling some three hours earlier or, alternatively, the next morning.
Critics of the system say lives could be lost though supporters retort more people will die of tea stains than playing quantum sports. They, presumably, have not realised the insensitivity of that remark as right now, all across Africa, millions lie dying brought on by random tea staining.
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