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Harriet Harman MP has been appointed Chief Drugs Adviser for the Blair Administration. This follows her drop from the Cabinet due to the disastrous plans to cull single mothers.
Hippy Slapper
A Downing Street spokesman said that she had been chosen because she knows what it's like to be addicted to hard drugs. "She was addicted to heroin for just over ten years. She showed real strength of character during those years, sometimes she didn't shoot up for almost an hour."
Fears that she had been out of her head on smack when she approved plans to kill 'gold digging whores' were confirmed when the spokesman was asked how long it had been since Ms Harman gave up heroin. He merely shrugged and said "two, maybe three, days."
Crack Whore
Even though Harman has only been in office for a matter of hours an aide has already leaked a document to the Society. The report (extracts shown below) details the plans to include Crash-Out Areas in every Church and School yard, Needle Dumping Points in all bus stops and HIV Testing Machines in pub toilets.
Some people are demanding things to be taken further. They would like to see drugs provided free by the state, with vendors on every street corner, but being Conservative MPs little notice has been taken.
Psycho Smack Bitch
The cultural implications of the appointment may seem insignificant, but only because they are. However there are people who believe that this is a newsworthy story. Oh, how wrong they are.
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