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For so long British viewers had seen the BBC as the grandfather of TV. It was old, respected but smelt slightly of urine.
Corporate executives, directed by John Birt, have decided to revamp their image by a new system of regional and social targeting.
This would mean that at 6:00, in Moss Side, there would be a programme about the positive effects on society of stealing a car radio while, in Hampshire, a magazine programme on horse rearing would be shown.
Brave new faces
Fans of Fawlty Towers will be looking forward to the introduction of Andrew Sachs, aka Manuel, as the main presenter. He is expected to use his trademark 'Que?' when interviewing politicians. ITV watch out!
Other new presenters include Po, the Teletubby, who will now be fronting Top of the Pops, and Garbage lead singer Shirley Manson will present Newsnight with ex-con 'Mad' Frankie Frasier.
Manipulatory
This move has been criticised in some quarters as 'dumbing-down' though the BBC have denied this in a statement issued yesterday. "Yo, bitch, we ain't done nofin' see? Da whole rockin' thang eez jus' one beeg fuckin' stunt, innit? So, shut ya motherfuckin' mouth and suck on my finger, dude. Keep it real."
I couldn't have said it better myself.
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