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According to an AP wire report, sales of French cognac have fallen sharply in recent months, due to sinking demand from troubled Asian economies.
In response, following the lead of French unions, fishermen, and farmers who have successfully engaged in terror tactics to get their way in the past, French cognac producers in the town of Cognac have blocked roads with smouldering fires in this lush area of south western France, demanding that the government provide aid and lower their taxes. As is typical in such cases, the aggrieved segment of French society takes out its rage on all of its fellow citizens, until the government, inevitably, pays the requested blackmail. So far, none of the apoplectic protestors have as yet doused themselves in cognac and self-ignited to become human torches, in order to better highlight their grievances, but the rest of their countrymen can still hope.
Relationships
In a related story, scientists at the French Academy announced yesterday that a large asteroid is on a collision course with earth, and will hit right in the centre of France in a few days, completely obliterating that nation of haughty, obstinate, and rude Europeans from the world map. Not surprisingly, French farmers, claiming that they have been unfairly singled out for destruction by the approaching asteroid, have set fire to government buildings, blocked roads, parked their tractors on airport runways, and dumped hundreds of tons of cow manure on the steps of the French Academy, demanding that the asteroid hit somewhere else.... like Los Angeles. Thus far, the asteroid has ignored their demands, and continues on a collision course towards the heart of France.
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