Chapter 6 | ||
Food & Fight |
"Hey, why don't you let us eat?" Ami asked.
"Oh…." Tou said, as he gulped down another shrimp dumpling, "my bad. Get these ladies some food here!" He yelled to the people.
"Arigato, Tou-san." Mina said. "Hey Jou, do you know how to use your chopsticks right? You look like you need some help."
"Why don't you come over here and help me baby?" Jou replied.
"Shut up fuck head! Not in a damn public place! That's the key to it." Kenshou said with a wink of the eye.
"Oh shut up you two, Mina doesn't like you anyway." Tou scolded them.
"She doesn't have to." Jou said, with a wink.
"You two boys have nasty minds." Ami said to Kenshou and Jou.
"Yeah! Listen to the lady." Tou said.
"Oh don't try to suck up now Tou." Kenshou said, swallowing some beef balls.
"Fuck you!" Tou retaliated.
"No, that's not proper, that would be nasty." Kenshou said.
"Shut up you two, not in front of the girls." Jou said. "Where are your manners?"
"That's nice to say for a horny shithead, like yourself." Kenshou said.
"Oh shut up boys!" Both of the girls yelled.
"Look what you did Jou." Tou said.
"Me? I was tryin' to break you guys up." Jou replied.
"Break us up? When were we going together? We're not gay!" Kenshou said.
"So he's your boyfriend Tou?" Ami asked, joining in on the fun.
"Ahhhh…. No!" Tou said.
"Too bad, I guess you're taken then, and I was just thinkin' about goin' on a date with you too." Ami said.
"Now look what you've done Kenshou!" Tou screamed.
"Shut up and eat!" Mina said.
As time began to expire on this quiet and wonderful dinner, the conversations had begun to die down for a while and didn't really ever come back. Then when all the processing of the food was done, Tou asked for the bill. A waiter came over with a small plate in hand, and gently dropped a slip of paper and five fortune cookies*. Upon the paper stood a number on it, amazingly a four-digit number with no decimals.
"How much Tou?" Kenshou asked.
"Oh, just four digits. $2,536, that's all." Tou said calmly.
"2,000 DOLLARS!?!?!" The girls exclaimed, "How'd we eat so much?!?!?!."
"Don't know, but who cares. We got all the money in the universe." Tou said. He quickly reached under the table and a cloud of dust formed; a sudden surge of electricity throughout Tou's body and the dust turned into a few nice, crisp five hundred dollar bills. "Here ya' go." Tou said as he handed the money to the waiter. Suddenly as soon as Tou dropped the money onto the plate, the waiter ran off to the front door, and darted away from the store.
"Don't let him get away with our money!" Kenshou said.
"Don't worry, watch this." Tou reassured Kenshou. Tou quickly raised his index and middle finger together and a little ball emerged from them. The ball began to glow a whitish color, and a scream was heard from outside of the store. Somebody was being dragged, but there was nobody dragging him. His head slammed against the doorway of the store as if he were using it to knock. The doorman quickly opened it, and the body dragged itself to Tou. "Give me back my money." Tou told him.
"O….K…. Sir" The waiter stuttered. The waiter began to cry and his bruises began to bulge, he quickly gave Tou his money and ran outside with no money, and of course no job.
"That was too easy Tou, you should've blown him up or something." Kenshou said.
"Go ahead and blow him up then." Tou said.
"Yippee!" Kenshou yelled. In an instant there was an explosion heard from the exterior of the building. Pieces of the waiter's slim yet tall body began to shatter through the windows as a hand landed on Ami's shoulder.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Ami screamed as Kenshou was laughing. Kenshou began to wiggle his fingers causing the amputated hand on Ami's shoulder wiggle its fingers.
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!" she said screaming louder this time.
"Quit it!" Tou and Jou said to Kenshou.
"I was just having a little some fun." Kenshou said as he moved the hand over to Mina's shoulder. Mina threw the hand on the ground as she walked over to Kenshou.
"Quit it you perverted fagot." Mina said while she slapped Kenshou.
"Owwww. That hurt." Kenshou said sarcastically. At that instant Ami walked over to Kenshou and slapped him too.
"Owww. Now that hurt." Kenshou said as he was rubbing his cheek.
"That's what you get Kenshou." Jou said.
"Shut up Jou." Kenshou said in an angrily manner. They all walked outside and in an instant they disappeared into thin air, leaving the usual gust of wind. They reappeared at the Ami's house where they were unexpectedly greeted by her mom.
"How did you do that?" Ami's mom asked, shocked.
"Oh, um… well watch." Tou said, as he grabbed Ms. Mizuno's hand and he warped off to the United States capital. "You see now? We can warp."
"Um, ok. Ami sure does have weird friends. Can you take me back home now?"
"Yeah, don't worry." Tou said as they warped back to the house.
"Now look what he did! He's gonna go off and marry your mom cause he can't have you." Kenshou told Ami.
"Oh! Don't kid around like that." Suddenly a flash of light came before them, and Tou and Ami's mother reappeared.
"How'd u like it mom?" Ami asked.
"You kids don't go warping to any bad places now." Her mom said.
"Ok." They all replied.
"Oh! Mom this is Tou and his two cousins Jou, and Kenshou." Ami said, introducing everyone to her mom.
"Hello Ms. Mizuno." Tou and Jou said.
"Hey baby." Kenshou said.
"Who raised you son? You have no respect." Ms. Mizuno said. She walked up to Kenshou and began to pull his ear.
"AAAhhhhh! Let go! PLEASE! I'M SORRY!" Kenshou pleaded.
"That's better." She said, releasing his ear and returning to the house. The little group went inside the house and sat down in the living room.
"Hey Mina are you going to stay here with Ami or do you want to go home?" Jou asked.
"Why Jou? You wanna get busy with her?" Kenshou asked.
"No, I was just wondering." Jou replied.
"You know Ami's mom is in the kitchen you queers." Tou said.
"You ignorant boys. I'll just stay here with Ami." Mina replied.
"Well we have to go." Kenshou said.
"No we don't!" Tou said.
"Why? You wanna get busy too?" Kenshou asked.
"Shut up! You just probably wanna go find Mako and try to make out with her you queer!" Tou retaliated.
"She'd probably just slap you." Jou pointed out.
"Boys, boys, no yelling in the house." Ms. Mizuno said from the kitchen.
"Yeah you guys quit fighting." Jou said.
"Shut up, can't you ever mind your own business." Tou asked. Suddenly a voice from above yelled out. "I don't talk like that"
"Who're you?" Tou asked.
"I'm you, you idiot! I am the creator of this universe." The creator of the story said.
"Ok then, let's do this over." Tou replied. Suddenly all of them began to talk backwards.
"Yeah you guys quit fighting." Jou repeated.
"Fuck you!" Kenshou and Tou yelled at Jou.
"Was that foul language I heard?" Ms. Mizuno said from the kitchen.
"Shut up you fat bitch!" Kenshou yelled at Ms. Mizuno.
"Run Kenshou, Run!" Tou said.
"What was that?" Ms Mizuno said, as she ran over to the living room and slapped Kenshou on the cheek. The hit caused an amazing amount of damage, and a bruise to pop up from the now seriously wounded cheek.
"All I said was that I had a bad itch." Kenshou lied.
"Don't lie to me boy." Ms. Mizuno said as she slapped him again.
"Are you sure these boys aren't from the Negaverse, Ami?" Mina whispered.
"There's no way, Tou is really nice around me when his cousins aren't around. I think he likes me." Ami whispered back.
"Maybe it's just a cover. I saw him at the temple earlier today. I asked Rei what she felt from him. She said that his vibes were really strong." Mina whispered.
"So you were the girl at the temple. I knew it was you." Tou interrupted them.
"How did you hear us?" Mina asked.
"I'm right here. I'm not deaf. Well I might just be from the Negaverse. You never know now do you? Well to tell you the truth, do you think that the Negaverse would be as strong as me?" Tou replied. "Beryl, who you senshi fought is just a fly compared to us. Not to be self-promotional, but we could destroy this planet with you on it, without you even knowing."
"You're starting to sound scary." Ami said.
"Let's go guys." Tou said to Kenshou, who was still being beaten down, and Jou.
"Bye guys, thanks for the dinner." Ami said.
"Yeah, bye guys." Mina added.
"It was our pleasure. Bye ladies." Tou replied.
"Bye babes." Kenshou said.
"Goodbye." Jou said. The three walked out the door and onto the patio area, where the three waved goodbye and shut the door behind them, then disappeared into nothingness.
Meanwhile, at the park Neng, V, Shia, Goten, Trunks, and a lot of candy were sitting down on a few benches, with no verbalization between them. Goten rose from his laying position over the candy and gently tugged on Shia's clothes. "Shia, when are we going home? I'm bored." He asked her.
"Do you really want to go home? There are gonna be some really cool guys to fight soon. They're really strong, almost as strong as your dads." Shia replied.
"No, we want to go home, my teeth are hurting." Trunks said.
"Ok, hold on to me." Shia said. The two children grabbed a hold of her arms and the three had disappeared from sight. A quick moment later Shia had reappeared alone and quickly sat down in her original spot.
"Humph! Stupid Tou, I think he deserted us. Maybe he's making out with Ami or something." Neng said.
"No way! Tou doesn't like to make out; he said it himself. He said he liked to talk to girls, but obviously he has to be lying." V suggested.
"I don't even think he's ever kissed a girl." Shia said.
"He hasn't. He's such a loser. He can destroy a galaxy in a single thought, but he can't even kiss a girl. How worthless." Neng said.
"I heard that." Tou said, as Jou and Kenshou appeared behind him, from behind the hill. The three quickly trotted over to the bench, and crouched down on their knees for a quick conversation.
"Are you all ready for Shoua's troops?" Tou asked.
"Yeah, ready to kick ass!" Neng answered.
"Yeah right! We can't battle on this planet; there's innocent people here." V said.
"Well, if we even battled against a fleet of Genocides in the solar system, the system would be quickly destroyed, and maybe even the galaxy." Kenshou said, finally showing a bit of his serious side.
"I guess we'll just have to make sure that the Dragonballs are ready to go." Shia said.
"Yeah, somebody go collect them now." Tou said.
"Ok, I'll go. Be back in two minutes." Jou said. His image immediately disappeared and reappeared at Kame House. Jou quickly put his palm out, and his palm began to glow a whitish aura. Quickly, seven rushing balls darted across the landscapes of the planet to his hand. He kept them afloat and gently let them onto the ground. "Muten Roshi! Take care of these, but do not summon Shenlong. Don't worry. I'm a friend of Shia's." Jou yelled into the air, hoping for Muten Roshi to receive the message, then he quickly disappeared once more and returned to the conversation in the Japanese park.
"We have to sacrifice these innocent people for the sake of the universe." Tou pointed out. A face of seriousness was expressed in each and every one of them. They had come to realize that they did have to kill these billions of people for the sake of their own six lives.
"We have to bring back the entire planet after our battle. I'm sure we can easily beat the Genocide fleet." Kenshou said.
"Everybody get ready." V commanded. As soon as she had said so, the six of them reverted back into their normal ninja gi and each of their swords had returned to their hand.
"They're in the system already! Neng, Kenshou, V, you three are forward attack, you're first. Jou, Shia, and I will be back up as soon as we destroy the planets so that the inhabitants do not have to suffer." Tou commanded. Suddenly Neng, Kenshou, and V had dispersed and had begun to intercept the attacking fleet of the Genocide force. Quickly, Tou flashed his eyes, and put his arms to his side as if he were gathering ki and let out an immense scream. Suddenly, the outer planet of the solar system began to dismantle, and collapse upon itself: Neptune, then Pluto, then Uranus, Saturn, and Jupiter. "I'll destroy the inner planets as soon as I retrieve something from the Earth. Go on ahead without me you two. I'll be there soon. If you begin to lose, then perform the black hole technique if you want to, but don't do it in the beginning of the battle; it'll drain too much energy." Tou said as he quickly disappeared.
Tou appeared in Ami's kitchen while Ami was fixing herself a late sandwich. "Ami, I have to take you. You're part of the universe's destiny and therefore I have to take you and the other Senshi away from this system." Tou said.
"What are you talking about? What's happening?" Ami asked.
"Don't ask any questions. Just bring all of the Senshi here, now, as fast as you can. It's a life and death matter.
Meanwhile at the brink of the system, Neng, V, and Kenshou had begun to intercept the enemy at their standing point. The Genocide fleet held the remaining 100 of it's endangered race, and was controlled undoubtedly by the Hmong attack units. The three quickly dispersed from the spatial backdrop and left a few images of themselves standing in their vulnerable, yet deceiving spots. Suddenly three darting Genocides lunged themselves at the images, unaware of any oncoming danger. A burst of light and a sudden sound of a slice of a blade and the three Genocides' skulls began to twirl in space, dismantled from their bodies. "Weak ass!" Neng said, taunting the fleet of now 97.
"That sucked. Too easy! You should really get better help Shoua, or you should just fight us yourself. I mean this is pathetic." V said. Unnoticeably a swarm of 30 Genocides rushed towards them from their rear, out of shock the three yelled at the top of their lungs, "OH SHIT!!!!!!!" As an immensely larger swarm arose from the opposite direction of the second attack, and now the three were in big trouble.
"Where the fuck is….MUAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" bellowed Kenshou as his body flew towards the vast gravitational pull of the surrounding stars.
"Right here idiot." Jou said, destroying the attacking Genocide from Kenshou's rear.
"Damn you Jou! Never call me an idiot, or else!" Kenshou demanded.
"Fuck you! You're not my master!" Jou retaliated.
"But I am! Go kick some Genocide ass, and hurry the fuck up!" V commanded, as she quickly destroyed one with an Atomic Eruption.
"Stay out of this V!" Kenshou hollered.
"Whatever!" Jou said.
Shia said from a not-so-far away distance, "Damn it! We're a team.", as she crushed a Genocide's skull with her Slash of the Holy Gods.
"What the hell did you just do Shia?" Kenshou asked.
"My specialized move!" Shia replied. "Don't you have one?"
"I don't know. Let me practice on you." Kenshou teased.
"Here's mine!" Neng yelled releasing a microscopic ball of light which floated towards a rushing group of Genocides. Right on impact the ball created a dimensional warp hole which warped them somewhere in space, that apparently appeared behind Neng. Out of astonishment Neng turned around to face a horde of Genocides.
"Stupid queer! What the hell was that?" said one of the Genocides, which had been warped.
"The hell! I didn't know they spoke." Kenshou exclaimed.
"Well we do, stupid Hmong! You got a problem?" It replied.
"Problem this BITCH!" Kenshou yelled, rushing toward the scrowny piece of shit. Kenshou raising Konpaku(his sword) towards the sun, and yelling these words. "This is for….. damn it! I forgot her name. Shit!" The cowaring Genocide, dashed out of the way, laughing his ass off, and attempting to counterattack Kenshou with a cheap shot to the ribcage.
"Stupid shit! Left yourself open." Cried Neng.
"Left this!" said Kenshou, who quickly pulled back Konpaku and unleashed its mighty rage upon the unexpecting Genocide. "MUHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!" laughing his ass off as if he were a hyena. At the same moment he was thinking of getting some girl a present, which at the same moment she was thinking of him.
Suddenly out of no where came Neng's energy blast which edged Kenshou, bringing him back to his senses and destroying his space dream of the fantasy and out of no where he started murmuring, the song, "You're my fantasy girl. The hell am I thinking? Where did that come from? Oh well whatever. You're my fantasy girl."
"Shit! Pay attention fuck head!!" yelled Jou, as he quickly defended Kenshou from the oncoming onslaught of the horde, which had been nicely depleted to a dozen. Out of all this Kenshou was thinking of whooping Neng's ass because he destroyed his space dream. After a quick killing of another Genocide, V called out to Shia, "Where the fuck is Tou?"
"Still on Earth, that's why the planet is still there." Shia explained, destroying another Genocide.
"Probably talking to his female friend, Ami." Jou said.
"You're just jealous." Cried out Shia.
"Why would I be jealous?" Jou asked, getting knocked down from the attack from two Genocides.
"You like her, or you're just a horny piece of shit!" Kenshou said, destroying the two Genocides attacking Jou.
"Thanks, and I don't like Ami! I like Sailor V!" Jou replied, slashing the remaining few Genocides with Nazo (Jou's sword).
"You do?" asked a familiar feminine voice from the far distance in space.
"I mean….." Jou replied to the unknown voice.
"You mean, you're a gay bastard!" Kenshou said.
"Ok, ok, ok, I do like Sailor V." Jou said.
"Yeah, I know. I got that effect on some people." Said the voice, which was easily identified as Sailor V herself.
"How the hell did you get here? Aren't you gonna suffocate?" Kenshou asked.
"How the hell do you think so stupid ass?" Tou said from the distance, obviously bringing her here.
"So where's your girlfriend?" Neng teased.
"Next to me of course." Tou pointed out.
"I'm not your girlfriend." Ami yelled.
"Well to them you are." Tou said, with a half-smile.
Meanwhile in a local Dimsum store, Tou, Kenshou, Jou, Ami, and Mina were eating away at the chicken feet, pork bones, beef balls, shrimp balls, dumpling soup, tofu, and the ever-delicious shrimp dumplings. Their table was overflowed with food and quickly devoured by the three male beings.