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Conspiracy Theory

(Mr Y) What do you think happened to flight 19?...

(Mr X) I've always thought there was something that wasn't quite right about that story. So I started my investigation by looking at it from an angle most hadn't thought of, that being, who gained the most from such a national tragedy? And oddly enough, I found someone. The U.S. Navy gained, by securing an undisclosed budget they badly needed to keep their serious UFO research afloat.

Lets go back to that time frame. It was December 5, 1945, the war had been over for only a few months. But in those first few months, project after project, that were of high priority during the war, were cut. Whole departments were dissolving, mostly technical research and intelligence groups. Highly trained personnel were going home by the droves, and yet, the Navy still had big problems to solve, and UFOs were at the top of their list.

The Navy made no bones about it. They wanted the job and every branch of the military knew it. The Navy was then pressed for solid evidence to warrant such a budget. It seemed raising money for silly subjects wasn't too popular in Washington at that time. President Truman met the Navy half way, and took a stand, solid evidence, deserves a solid budget.

Less than a month later, the Navy had their solid evidence - flight 19. They got an undisclosed budget of about three hundred million for starters. (However, I don't know how I know that?) What I thought strange, was that their solid evidence was no evidence at all! And to this day, flight 19, is still missing?

In essences, I believe this was a black operation setup to blackmail President Truman, into funding UFO research. Truman's first response to all this was forthcoming, when he created almost overnight, the Central Inelligence Group. (C.I.G) was largely staffed by naval intelligence officers left over from WW2.

President Truman, gave them their first task personally, "Find flight 19!"

(Mr Y) What happened to the 27 men that were lost?.....

(Mr X) First of all, what most, if not all writers and documentarians leave out of this story. Is the fact that the aircraft involved (TBMs) were the stealth of their day. One of these aircraft cost more off the assembly-line, than that of a fully loaded B-17. They not only came equipped with onboard radar, (something thought to be impossible for the day) but had their own radar operator, three compasses; a magnetic compass, a gyrocompass, and a radio compass. These aircraft were pacifically designed to not get lost!

The sad untold truth about the war in the Pacific theater. Is that we lost more combat aviators early on, (due too their getting lost at sea) than we ever did in 4 years of actual combat. I just thought I'd point these facts out, since no one else will. And it appears someone wants us to believe 5 Avengers went missing on the same day.

Back to your question about the missing airmen. Picture this in your mind, if you will. These five Avengers flew to some point on the map, for whatever reason, they may have even ran out of fuel, meets up with the Mariner aircraft. I believe it is this aircraft, the Mariner, holding all 27 airmen, that flew off in history. They were then offered better duty, better pay. It would be easy to get lost in the military, especially when the military helps.

When your government asks you to do a job, you know what you're getting into. I believe most stayed in the service (becoming MIB) after getting new names and promotions. People really don't talk when their govermment tells them not to. There's much to lose; your life for one, your commission & pension for another, and the threat of life in prison all make good reasons not to come foward.

Now this scenario is just a theory of mine, and I feel it's very possible.

Just two years later, the U.S. Army Air Force had the same luck with budgets. I refer to Roswell. Do you realize that in 1947, just weeks after the Roswell incident, the U.S. Air Force came into being. Almost overnight the USAF got their open sky budget, and was in the UFO business big time.

(Mr Y) You're suggesting Roswell was a black ops, too?!.....

(Mr X) Sure, but of the highest order. They write the pages in our history books. It had worked the first time. This time we'll out do Navy!

At that time, the Navy was getting the lion's share of all military funding. The USAAF had to contend with their own small slice of the Army's budget, to procure funds to explore new aircraft technology. After Roswell, all that changed, the USAF was born. Not even the war could bring that change about.

Picture this: put all these special agents from the dissolving intelligence groups after the war in one place, and I have no doubt, the ideas that came out of that camp were the best in the world. It wouldn't suprise me at all, if they pulled off one of the greatest ops in history.

Once again, lets go back to the time frame. It's the first week of July, 1947. There are literally half a dozen plane crashes (air corps, as well as civilian aircraft) running on the frontpages of every newspaper in the country. So the USAAF had their war with the sky, and they're (USAF) still having it.

I must note, historically many of these planes crashed under mysterious circumstances, which even to this day, go unexplained. Pilots later came foreword claiming their aircraft had been bumped or rammed, while in flight. They reported being put on a collision course as one of the more common encounters.

But the USAAF still had a problem - there was no solid evidence to go on. They had nothing to show for their hard work, except a mountain of paper work and a small filing cabinet filled with pictures. I'm sure they felt they were privately fighting real live gremlins.

Well, I think the plan hit the table around April 1. And it went something like this: First they'd dump a bunch of junk in the high desert, parts from rocket laboratories, blimp factories, or wherever. Throw in a few mystery parts for good measure. They'd then find, either real bodies (most likely, reminber this is not long after the war. The shock of a dead body is worth its' weight in gold) or perhaps good dummies made up, shaved heads, ect.. Parade around the main player, you know, the alien that's supposed to have lived. Bring in a cleanup crew that's in the dark. Put them all in the same field at the right time, and bingo, what have you got. "Roswell"

Meanwhile, the officers are on the phones to Roswell, stirring up the public's interest. Just look at the record, they couldn't have done it better with a bull horn! Without this, there's no point to the operation. The whole idea is to get the public interested in flying saucers, so as to apply pressure on Truman, to fund their UFO research. If he wanted to get re-elected, that is.

Remember, these were hardened vets just back from the big one, WW2. Do you really think they would have acted this way, after finding the greatest find known to mankind? They all knew, if this thing was going to work, most everyone had to be in the dark. That's the plan. Then come down hard on everyone, everywhere - make a real show of it.

Hell, the General thought, they had to get away with it! It meant a blank check from the American tax payers' for as long as the Air Force needed to solve the UFO phenomenon.

Does this sound like Roswell? I assure you this, if I'm right. This would be an all time high for military fund raising.

Now, before you hunt me down to speak your mind for even suggesting Roswell was a hoax or ops. Think back, was this the way things should have gone?

I personally would like to believe. I want you to know, that I know what a reality check this would mean for all mankind. However, in a good sting, the players hold tight and the sucker doesn't even know he's been suckered. Keep that in mind.

Signed, Mr Z

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Conspiracy Theory

Mysterious 'Z Ray' Cripples Plane Engines Over NY In 1935

The Denver Post, May 26, 1935

From Bill Oliver-UFO*BC oliver2849@home.com

New York, May 25 - Airplane pilots making flight in this vicinity have asked the department of commerce to investigate a supposed radio-ray device which they believe stops the motors of airplanes passing over New York city.

The airplanes, flying over the central part of Manhattan, have had mysterious troubles with their engines during the last few months. As a result, belief is spreading in aeronautical circles here that some short-wave experimenter has developed a "Z-ray" which interferes with the workings of airplane motors at which it is aimed.

A peculiar thing about the occurrences is that the planes' motors simply "go dead" without apparent cause, and when they are examined later, it is seldom possible to determine what was wrong. Twice, however, electrical parts have been found to be burned out, as if by a heavy current of electricity.

Several times disasters have narrowly been avoided, as the magnetism which stalls the engines does not pass off for some time, and the planes must be brought to an emergency landing. When a plane is flying at 5,000 feet or more over the city, it is possible to land at one of several airports, but the planes that have been affected by the supposed "Z-ray" are usually flying at lower altitudes.

The most recent occurrence of this nature was the near-disaster which overtook the cabin monoplane piloted by Michael Stupelli, which was forced to land with three passengers in the East river a few days ago when its motor stopped from electrical trouble which has not yet been solved.

The pilot reported he was "almost in a straight line with the top" of a mid-town skyscraper, where shortwave radio tests are known to be u under way, when the motor gasped and died. From that instant he was unable to get a spark out of his generator, but when the plane was examined later the only trouble seemed to be that several electrical parts were highly magnetized.

Radio experts here said that no experiments with "Z-ray" were being made in Manhattan, so far as they knew. They pointed out, however, reports from the continent of automobiles being mysteriously halted by short-wave devices near the Italian border.

Department of commerce inspectors are expected to join with officials of the federal communications commission in their investigation. In the meantime major air lines have issued orders to their pilots to obey strictly instructions against flying over Manhattan.

Many thanks to Bill Oliver from UFO-BC and Sightings.com for this story.

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Conspiracy Theory

Secret Military Entity

John Streeter (jstreeter@mindspring.com) writes:

There is a sophisticated secret military entity that is hidden even from our own U.S. government/political arena, probably at no surprise to you. The projects that have been developed dwarf NASA's technology. This entity went underground during the development of ridged Zeppelin type airships in the 30's.

They now have developed multi-mile high & wide airships, a better description would be spaceships (This may sound crazy, but please continue reading). These ships are built in the deep pacific with cell/cubicle like compartments filled with distilled water and an electrolysis solution.

They are assembled together underwater into the desired shapes. The distilled water and solution are then subjected to electricity, which separates the hydrogen and oxygen molecules. The oxygen is released into the ocean and the hydrogen is retained in these cells/cubicles.

The science and design of these cells/cubicles to avoid the hazards of a hydrogen ignition was achieved in the 50's. The ships will rise above the ocean and into the air like any ridged airship, except these ships can go into space once completed. Many of the cells/cubicles are turned into compartments or removed/hollowed out.

These spaceships in the beginning were comparable to that of an aircraft carrier or cruse ship, and into the present multi-mile high & wide cities in space hosting smaller spacecraft. They now build groups of these cubicles and deliver them into space to be assembled. The speeds of the 300' ships and smaller are so fast that no radar can pick them up. They are manned and have no problems breaking away from the earth's gravity.

These ships are in constant retrofit to include seamless crystal display type tiles for cloaking. Since the 30's a society/community (Now Approx. 250,000) has grown from this secret military complex, and completely operates freely of any governmental boundaries. I don't know how long it will take, but a coup never before seen is on the horizon.

This is not to take away from the fact that there are two other entities outside the human race, one of the entities existed on this planet before man. This entity has joined forces with this secret military society. There is another ship/city that is 1500 miles square, this is the good entity and in opposition of the other two.

There is a war going on behind the scenes and now man has been brought directly into it.

Conspiracy Theory

Project Dragon Snake

By Jeff Johnson

I find myself in the most unique position in that I have actually discovered 3 hidden "Alien UFO Bases" that have been making themselves at home in a remote part of Melanesia for over a century.

These hidden UFO bases have much more traffic than Area 51. Virtually, every night they come and go from their bases deep in the largely unexplored mountainous tropical jungles of these large remote large Islands. The primitive and uneducated indigenous people that live in the immediate areas have mythologically surrounded these UFOs with superstition and fearfully call them "Dragon Snakes." As I was the first white man to have ever lived in the area, when I first saw the so-called Dragon Snake, I soon realized that it was a UFO.

Within a 7-month period, I saw the activities of these UFOs on one Island alone well over 60-times. My extensive research into this matter has revealed that the Aliens using these bases have more than one vehicle in each. No matter how surrealistic this might seem, all of the information mentioned in this document, is nothing but the absolute truth?

The purpose of this unusual proposal is to find the appropriate financial backing and a group of men that are capable of further resolving this phenomena. Within this document, is an outline of the most effective viable "golden-opportunity" plan of how to do a film documentation and gather further insurmountable intelligence on all of regular movements of these particularly unfriendly extra-terrestrials.

Further, largely due to the strategically good unprecedented position of all these bases, there is the unique opportunity to easily gather film documentation on all of the bases activities so that it might be determined what other course of action could be taken. To basically understand how this all came about, I will briefly explain, by starting at the beginning. Please bear with me!

In 1995, I went to live in a remote part of Melanesia. Having grown up in the Western Highlands of New Guinea, I found it easy adapting to living in remote parts with these Melanesians. It was through a chain of circumstances, that I eventually went to live in a very remote part of these Islands. It was during a conversation with a few new friends the first day I got there, that they told me I had to watch out for the "Dragon Snake" that was in the area, as it was responsible for people to go missing.

They told me that it flies out of the mountains at night and that it had piercing red eyes that sometimes killed people.

Initially, I put this down to one of their superstitions, but later, I found this was of significant warning. At any one time, there are less than 100 white men in these large archipelagos, and most of the indigenous people rarely ever get to see a white man. I just coincidentally happened to be the first to go and live in the area and discover all this.

One night, 4-days later, I was out the front of the house fishing with a few of them, when they fearfully pointed out the Dragon Snake flying along. About a kilometre down the beach, there was a round white brilliantly illuminated object flying at treetop height above the sea. After watching it slowly moving over the water for about a minute, it submerged itself into the sea.

Joseph, a good friend of mine, told me to wait for 10-minutes and I would see it come back out twice as bright as it first went in. Which, when it did, after zooming in on it with my binoculars and verifying to my disbelief that it was a UFO, it slowly returned back to the coast in the same direction that it came.

This first UFO sighting was what totally changed my mind about the existence of extraterrestrials, as some investigation revealed that this so-called Dragon Snake had been in the area for well over a century.

Subsequently after that, I began to lose count of these sightings when it reached the 60-mark. To me knowledge, there is no other place on the planet that has a more concentrated UFO activity than this area. Because of the unique position that I found myself in, I did extensively investigate the matter.

I was horrified to find found out that these Aliens have been sporadically stealing these indigenous people for well over a century. There are numerous incidences of where this has happened.

Of recent, two young women whom have still not been found. Also, there are a multitude of cases where people have been incinerated by some form of light that is projected from these vehicles. I visited a fellow in hospital covered in bandages from head-to-toe whose burns were more severe everywhere else than where his shirt and shorts were. He told me that he received his injuries from the Dragon Snake while he was out fishing in the early hours of the morning.

In addition, I found two more bases that are similar on neighbouring nearby Islands that have equally unfriendly characteristic traits as the original base.

I am in the respectful position to have to let the Worlds UFO fraternities firstly know about these hidden UFO bases, as further, I am in the position of soon publishing a book which has included this all in it. Not to forsake the chance that this unique discovery be lost due to some improper investigative approach, I will delay its publication, should an investigation proceed.

Returning to after the first sighting of the UFO: During the next two weeks, I saw the UFO 3 more times submersing and brightly surfacing again at the same place as I did the first time I saw it. As this was not a coincidence, that had raised a few questions in my mind. What was so interesting down in the sea where it submerged all the time?

Moreover, where did the UFO go when it was not flying around? I did eventually find out the actual answers to these questions, plus the answers to many more. These real observations and conclusions are like something out of a science-fiction movie, but the reality of it all is that they are extraordinarily true.

During the next few weeks, while still seeing the UFOs flying around, I obtained a 1:25,000 topographical map of the area, and formulated a plan of how to find out where the UFO went. At that time, I did not know that there was more than one. I had invited 2 old Chiefs from the area to come to a feast that was to be held on the grass outside my house. During the feast, I began talking about the so-called Dragon Snake with them. My suspicions were right; they knew a lot about it. One of the Chief's brothers had been killed by it when he was a young boy. They told me a few stories about deaths and abductions, all of which had confirmed in me that these UFOs were definitely not friendly. They may be friendly in some other places in the world, but they certainly are not there.

In fact, there are dozens of incidences to totally support this claim. During the conversation with the Chiefs, I asked them if they knew where the Dragon Snake's house was. They knew where it was, and after some minutes of familiarizing themselves with the map, they pointed to the place. It was an unnamed mountain in a nearby tropical jungle mountain range. They told me that there was a large waterfall that was high up in the mountain and beneath it a lake which the water fell into.

Inside that waterfall-lake was where the so-called Dragon Snake lived.

A further study of this unnamed mountain, for which convenience sake I eventually named it to be Mt. Dragon, revealed that there was a small lake in that mountain that was the beginnings of a river. As these fellows had no idea of topographical map language, it verified that there might be some credibility in what they told me.

As it turned out, all their information was exactly correct, as eventually when I did make it to this waterfall-lake on one of my reconnaissance missions, there I found more than one UFO leaving and returning from the lake at one time. I will not go into the details of how this was all weathering down my keen sense of logic.

In the months preceding my recon to this base, apart from continually seeing the UFOs all the time, (so much so, that these sightings became like second nature) a multitude of UFO related incidences happened. All of which is too long to explain right now, but is of great significance for some of the reasons why these Aliens are making themselves at home there. As these findings will all become big news one day, I will mention that these Aliens have a considerable interest in a great American Battleship that sank during WW II. I do not know the reason for this.

Further, and coincidentally, an underground chasm links the Aliens base on that Particular Island close to the Battleship. The Aliens that use the other two bases on the other Islands have a particular interest in the copious quantities of Zirconium deposits that are present there. There is strong evidence to support this.

Surprisingly, each of these bases use a waterfall-lake as their abode. Only one of these two have I verified to have an underground link to the open sea. As these volcanic Islands all have underground water tables, it would not surprise me if the other did also.

At two of these bases, I have seen more than one of these vehicles leaving and returning at the same time. Another characteristic trait of these vehicles is that they have the ability to be able to invisibly cloak themselves when required. I have witnessed one vanish when it saw the lights of a ship approaching.

On numerous occasions, I have seen these vehicles instantaneously accelerate away at for nominal speed and be able to take 90-degree corners while still traveling at thousands of knots.

Unfortunately, at the time I was completely underfunded to be able to purchase a video camera that could take pictures at night, as that would have meant that I would have had to go to another country to find one. Now that I am back in Australia, I can do something about this all, or I would regret it for all the rest of my life.

I will get straight to the point of this submission, by outlying a viable plan, with all things considered, of how further investigations could be carried out, that is assuming there was unlimited funds for this.

The waterfall-lake\UFO base of aptly named Mt. Dragon, is 5-miles inland along a 3-mile long valley. There are no trails to be able to follow through this very dense mountainous tropical rain forest. So consequently, the strategic use of a helicopter would be very beneficial. Apart from having experienced the difficulty in getting there on foot, I am a helicopter pilot and I understand the convenient need for this.

At this particular base, the UFOs have the habit of going in and out of the waterfall-lake between the hours of 10 pm-3am nearly ever night. As I have already observed this all from a position 500 feet above the waterfall-lake, there is another possible plan of action that could happen after sufficient film documentation had been completely obtained. This would require employing staunch men with the guts and calibre of those similar to American Navy Seals.

These well-equipped men would have to drop down into the waterfall-lake on especially designed quick electric winch cables while the UFOs were gone. Bearing in mind, there is every chance that there maybe a mother ship down.

In amongst this specialist team, there would have to be a person whom might know how to access the interior of these vehicles. It would be necessary to take every kind of precaution not to blow the element of surprise. This includes this document also. Three different satellites with radar imaging pass over this region every day. The use of these satellites would be a powerful tool in gaining background information.

I realize how far fetched this must all sound, but let me assure you that everything contained in this document is completely true, and there is the unique opportunity to do this all. This all has great possible futuristic consequences for the advancement of humanity, should it go ahead.

Nevertheless, there is the easy unique golden-opportunity to investigate the matter further on all three hidden UFO bases. It is my hope that your organization might be able to assist me in putting this all together, or at least be able to steer me in the right direction in finding the person with the capital and enthusiasm to finance this project.

What has been outlined here is only a very small portion lacking detail of the total overall plan. Please contact me as soon as possible with your reply.

Many thanks to Jeff Johnson and www.caus.org/ for this story.

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Conspiracy Theory

Alien Implant Removal

Many thanks to CAUS and Don Robertson (GBR262@aol.com) for this report: Tim Cullen gives up alleged Alien Implant #9 February 5, 2000, in Thousand Oaks, Ca.

By Don Robertson

Tim Cullen is a hard working cement contractor from Yuma, Colorado. He was born and raised there, and resides there still with his wife Janet, and three daughters. Three things happened to Cullen in 1978 that changed his life forever. He suffered a car accident, saw his first UFO, and suddenly realized that both events had appeared to him in dreams well before the actual occurrences.

"The events that have happened to me over the past twenty-seven years have had an enormous effect on my life and what I believe," Cullen, a practicing Catholic, told me. "In a short span of time in 1978 it was revealed to me that we are not the only intelligent life in the universe, and it was also proven to me that God is with us always, without a doubt."

On April 2, 1978 Tim Cullen dreamed that he was in a terrible car accident. On April 9, 1978, he and his friend Ken Ruberg, were driving on Highway 34 when Tim realized he was living out his dream. "I thought about stopping and going back to town...but didn't," Tim said. Seconds later, he rolled the car five times, breaking his neck on the first roll. Ruberg helped Cullen up out of the ditch, and waved down a passing station wagon. They took Cullen to the nearest hospital. The event was a replay of his dream. While in the hospital, under sedation, Cullen dreamed of an encounter with a UFO.

Returning home from a medical check-up in Denver on May 30, 1978, Tim and his wife Janet, a registered nurse, were driving north on Highway 59 near the Vernon Road junction (about a quarter mile north of it). It was dark, after 11:00pm at night. Tim saw a large dimly lit object pass in front of the car, go behind a low hill, and re-emerge then, "It went out a way, along side, and as I brought the car down to a stop, it came back toward us a bit. I backed the car up, and the UFO went out to the west of us. It came in under the power and telephone lines and hovered over a pasture. It was about a hundred foot long and twenty foot wide, and about ten foot high,"

Cullen relates. "It didn't make any noise. Two bright lights came on, kind of blinding us. We couldn't see very good. We sat there and stared at it for awhile. After we looked at the two lights for a few minutes I turned to my wife and told her we might as well go on to town." Janet was five months pregnant with their first child.

The Cullens have no memory of being taken aboard the craft, nor of any missing time.

"Now, when I think about it, when I turned and started driving, I did have an odd feeling, but it didn't really register with me. I remember coming back to Yuma, but not looking at a clock. I was kind of shocked by the whole thing. I didn't really think of looking at a clock," Cullen said.

Twenty years later in 1998, while setting rebar at a job, Tim Cullen hit his thumb with a hammer. Sometime later, he thought the finger might be dislocated so he went to see Dr. Mark Hubner at the Yuma Clinic. The doctor suggested they take an X-ray. On returning with the film, Dr. Hubner asked, "Did you know you have a piece of metal in your arm?" At that moment, Tim Cullen knew what the object was. He knew that he and Janet had experienced missing time on May 30, 1978.

In 1980, Cullen experienced another encounter, at exactly the same spot! The craft hovered and two diffused yellow lights came on. Then one started blinking, and he stared at it. "This can't be happening!" he thought. "Not right here!" The craft kept moving in back of, and out from behind a low hill. Then it moved slowly away from him. Figuring they didn't want him to see them, he got back in the car and returned to Yuma.

Again, in 1994, with his wife and three daughters, they encountered a smaller craft with a strobe light, about forty miles south of Yuma.

"It hovered off the road in front of us, and we stopped and looked at it for five to ten minutes. It moved around for awhile and finally went off to the north," Cullen related. The girls seemed mystified by it, but they were younger and I don't really think they realized the enormity of what they were seeing."

Tim didn't think much about UFOs or abduction before his experiences, and had never heard about Alien implants. But after seeing the X-ray, and knowing where the object in the film came from, he started exploring the Internet about the subject of UFOs and abduction. He joined an on-line encounter group, and learned about a man in California, Dr. Roger K. Leir, who removed what were reported to be "Alien Implants". He and Leir communicated for over a year.

The ninth alleged alien implant was surgically removed from the left forearm of Tim Cullen on Saturday, February 5, 2000. The operation was performed at a medical facility in Thousand Oaks, California. The procedure was performed by a surgical team led by Dr Roger Leir; the surgery by Dr. John D, Matrisciano.

"I know nothing about UFOs or implants," Dr. Matrisciano said after the operation, "but I think that's what is needed in this case; to be objective."

Removal of the small, "melon seed" type implant went very quickly, and smoothly. The operation was videotaped by The Learning Channel for an upcoming show.

Recently, at a MUFON Board meeting, I saw videotape of the object that was removed, which was shot through a microscope. The object was about 7 millimeters long and 4 millimeters wide. It is covered by an amazing reddish-brown membrane and has several long, proceptors (which were connected to nerve endings) on one end. A dark area reveals a metal core. When a magnet was placed a half-inch from the object, it literally leapt to the magnet!

As yet, the object has not been sent to anyone for analysis. An appropriate laboratory is being sought, as are funds for performing various tests of the object.

Tim Cullen has become very outspoken about his experiences and about the object that was recently removed from his arm. Unlike others who have had implants removed, Tim has allowed his name to be used in the press, has given out his phone number, and has recently established an Email address: ufogoat_2000@yahoo.com.

On returning to Yuma, Colorado after the implant removal, Cullen told his story to Yuma's local paper, The Yuma Pioneer, and addressed both the congregations of his Catholic Church, and his wife's Presbyterian Church. He has also been on the Art Bell Dreamland show with Dr. Roger Leir and host Whitley Streiber. While at one of the church presentations a woman reached out and touched Tim's sleeve.

"My husband and I know exactly what you've been through," she told him.

Tim plans to talk with them. Another person E-mailed Tim and told him of an experience he had had. Many have come forward with stories since his return from the implant removal.

"A lot of people around here have seen strange lights in the skies," Cullen reports.

"Yuma is an agricultural area. They raise a lot of corn, pigs, and cattle here. Many of the ranchers have reported cattle mutilations, several within the last few months. One lost a prize bull."

Understandably, the ranchers are angered and frustrated about these events. They don't understand why they happen. Tim doesn't like not being able to remember what happened to him when the object was planted in his wrist. He is considering going through hypnotic regression in California to see if his subconscious can reveal any answers, as it has in others. He now admits he thinks he has been abducted. Why is he being so open?

Analyses from seven of the eight other implants removed have shown that the membrane surrounding the metal objects seems to keep them protected from foreign object rejection.

"This could be a huge medical breakthrough for doctors who want to use biological, metal, or implants of other materials, in their patients. Several prestigious labs have chemically broken down the make-up of the membrane. With the proper research, funded by large pharmaceutical companies, human body rejection of such implants could save many lives in the future," Cullen said.

"I'm coming forward because someone has to put a face to the alien stories, and cause more people to come forward," Tim Cullen told the Pioneer.

"The more people we can find with implants, the more evidence we're going to have. We can study things a lot more and get things done; get rid of the stigma around it."

Tim Cullen is now slated to appear on stage with Dr. Roger Leir at the upcoming International UFO Conference in Laughlin, Nevada, in March. He vows to continue to put a face on the alien abduction/ UFO scenario, to fight for the removal of the membrane of secrecy imposed by secret/black groups within our government.

One can only hope Tim Cullen's shining example will inspire others to come forward. There are several organizations looking for volunteers to serve as witnesses and give testimony, perhaps in front of a Congressional Committee. Dr. Steven Greer's CSETI (www.cseti.com) is actively looking for all manner of witnesses, as is Peter Gersten's CAUS (www.caus.org).

"Everybody's coming out around here," Tim Cullen says proudly. "The truth needs to come out!"

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Conspiracy Theory

CONTRAIL CONNECTIONS TO FLU EPIDEMIC, TEXAS

The Contrail Research and Reporting Center writes that research is needed in the relationship of Unusual Contrail Formations (UCFs) and flu-like illnesses in areas where spraying has occurred. Usually four engine jet aircraft have been video taped spraying at low level around the US leaving contrails at a few thousand feet.

The Contrail Center reports that North Texas has had unusual contrail formations observed over the North Texas area for about ten days of the month. According to Fox news Dallas affiliate, Channel 4, flu symptoms significantly increased during the third and fourth weeks of December 1999.

North Texas reported increased flu symptoms: Plano - 98%, Lewisville - 81%, Lakewood - 76%, Dallas - 30%, and Ft. Worth - 25%. Doctors cited possible causes of the increases as due to people traveling more during the holidays and spreading the viruses. Warm weather has also delayed the delayed the flu season. The cities north of Dallas had the highest increase in cases with flu symptoms. These are comparatively rural areas while the larger cities -- where one might expect more flu cases -- had the lower percentages.

According to the "Flu-O-Meter" at "discoveryhealth.com," the flu levels in Texas are reportedly "low." There appears to be a correlation between contrails and flu symptoms in the North Texas cities of Plano, The Colony, Carrollton and Lewisville during December 1999.

I caution against reaching premature conclusions and advise more studies need to be conducted. There is, as yet, no conclusive evidence linking unusual contrail formations to illnesses. Heavier concentrations of unusual contrail formations and "conclouds" (artificial clouds that develop when these unusual "contrails" seem to extend and spread out) may be causing flu-like symptoms in people as a side-effect of some process rather than due to any viral agents being "sprayed" over our populations. We do not know what is actually taking place and that's why more research is needed.

Thanks to Amy at Contrail Research and Reporting Center. See http://www.contrailconnection.com for views of the aircraft spraying. Flu is a virus and there are simple tests to determine if someone has the flu. Antibacterial drugs have no effect on a virus.

Filer's Files # 1 January 6,2000 George A. Filer: Mufon eastern director, Majorstar@aol.com (609) 654-0020

Conspiracy Theory

From the memoirs of a madman

I sit here looking at my wrist watch and having memories of offering it as a gift to the smartest man I have ever met. A man so smart he came from another world in a flash of light. I told him this was some of Earth's finest craftmanship, it was powered by mere motion of gravity.

I went on to say, the watch had been made on the island of Japan in the Pacific ocean and was worn by people who fly alot. I thought funny about saying that at the time I said it.

He took the offering and looked at it briefly and set it aside. He then looked up into my eyes, his eyes were so big they overwhelmed me and a warm peace came over me and my memory faded into a flash of light. The next moment I'm driving on a back country road at 3 o'clock in the morning and my wife is asking me the time and I find my watch isn't working.

Many months later it would again begin working. It's at that very moment in a flash of memory I decided to write this. This is not to say my first flashback to the past. To whom I write this for, I hope you won't think me crazy and hear me out.

I only remember that this man is very smart and he's telling me something very important about my life. I never can remember his face until we meet again. I'm not to remember him, and the more I try to remember the more real his warning would later become, the more real he became!

"You will not think well of these things" he put into my mind.

I'm suppose to remember what he is telling me but not to remember him. That it would be bad for my health. Some how I feel at the time he means mentally. This is the thought I have afterward and don't remember what we've even talked or more like thought about or what all had happened. I just remember seeing something strange in the sky, or on the ground, or even in my own bedroom!

There have been many a night through out the years that I have been awaken in my bed only to find I couldn't move. My body is heavy and bussing to a sound as though a swarm of bees had just entered the room. In my panic I notice there is someone else in the room, short shadowy figures moving about at some duty. This static of the bees seem to cloud my vision. Then all at once they fly out the closed window and I hear them flying off down the street taking my terror with it. Afterwards I quickly fall back to sleep!

A flash of light like someone took a picture outside my window day or night indicates something has happened and I'm happy not to know the details, although I've been into studying UFOs for many years.

I began researching UFOs after my entire family of 7 and I saw a UFO over the Antelope valley in southern California back in 1969. It was a bright pulsating reddish-orange light shaped like a big red eye flying low in the early evening desert sky which seemed to be chasing jack rabbits in the high chaparral. We were fascinated with its movements until it approached the van we all were riding in!

At that very moment a jet, an F104 Starfighter out of Edwards Air Force base approached the road where we had come to a stop. The strange red light then quitely winked out. It just drew to a small point and a moment later reappeared as a star. The jet circled once and returned to Edwards. I would like to note that in 1969, I had been in the Civil Air Patrol (CAP) having joined in 1967, and at the time was the Air Force Aux. It may still be I don't know. I was in Squadron 74 in southern California. It was based at then the Orange County airport.

Our job was to find downed aircraft. I knew every aircraft in the sky at that time in 69, having seen the X15, XB70, and U2 flying over the Antelope valley as well I built the model of the SR71 back in 67. I knew clearly what my family and I saw that night was a UFO. This is only one small event of many that have since happened to my family and I.

However, I know the reality of being engulfed in a flash of light and being in the presents of someone from another world. Someone so smart he knows all about you, your past and maybe even your future. I can feel him reading my mind. I feel naked in front of him. I don't know if he's good or evil?

I believe he wants me to make a home power source for everyday people. It would be better for the Earth. How I remember this I don't know? I have to add, one of my hobbies is to invent a home power plant. I have been working on this since the early 70's and have built two thermodynamic motors. These motors only have one moving part. However they are not too consumer friendly and the low boling point fluid that they are required to operate on is extremely dangerous for household use.

I also have memories of being told that everyone's mind puts out something like radio waves. A sort of personal fingerprint that he tunes in to, to find anyone, anywhere, god like if you will. I feel he is from here somewhere on Earth. Thats not to say the possibly of a nearby galactic neighbor is not that far remote.

In October of 1973, up on the Kern river in California, I had my first real close encounter that changed my life forever. A group of us, my bother inlaw and his wife (however at that time he was not married to my sister) and my best friend had gone to drink beer on the Kern river and watch a meteor shower that weekend.

Leaving on a thursday night we drove three hundred miles to do just that and yet we were home by saturday with memories of a light that had appeared over our river campsite the night before. A huge blue-white light that used warm search lights on us, which by the way we reported to a passing Kern county Sheriff who told us people had been seeing things up by Saddle mountain and that the local doctor in Kernville had reported seeing a flying saucer along the old county road we had came in on. The Sheriff then drove away.

By sunday I was sick and could not get a bad taste out of my mouth. My eyes were hot and swollen and I had trouble focusing and have had Photophobea (meaning my eyes are sensitive to light) ever since. I was so sick for three days I felt I nearly died, which my mother will atest too. This was the first time I saw the flash of light, a light that sucked me inside out and my troubled reality began.

It seems just about the time I think it's all behind me now and I imagined all this, something happens to bring it all rushing back into my life.

Occasionally I have lucid dreams, in color if you like. A dream wth small details. One night not so long ago I dreamt I was given command of a marvelous flying machine that was extremely logical to fly. It was shinny and new and about 35 feet in diameter and went were I thought it to go. I would dart here to a herd of cows then dart there to a farmers watering system. Everything looked bigger, clearer and more vivid. I took off to the north low in the early morning sky, the exhilaration of this new toy always comes to memory.

I was putting everthing I came across under my microscope when I then came upon a huge fuel tank and as I slowed to an approach a thought came to mind to blow it up to see what it would look like. As I was thinking where did that thought come from we stopped in mid-flight and a soft voice entered my head,

"Captain it is dangerous to even ponder this action. I can see now that you still have that 22 caliber curiosity."

I assured him the thought came only in the game sense (as in a computer game I had been playing alot of lately.) However his words hit home. I was shattered with guilty thoughts, thoughts of rabbits and birds I had senselessly killed hunting as a boy.

I woke up in a cold sweat, my nose was bleeding and felt like i'd just been punched in the face. This feeling or thought lasted as long as the sore nose. As you can see this dream was hard to forget.

I can also remember what this man looks like in my dream. He's about 5 foot 6 inchs tall, wide shoulders, dark hair and a trimmed beard, large dark eyes, dark coat and body suite, a cut not much different then todays, however of a dark beautiful material worn down to his feet. My impression is he's from a race of great inventors, scientists, and men of wisdom who have escaped mans follies throughout the millenniums.

A people far aloft from the world we know. Their world is in the far reaches of planet Earth's oceans and subterranean caverns to her moon and even the planets beyond.

But I believe even they don't star travel as we would think of it, and from time to time return here where there are millions of their elder race who are all keepers of the Earth in their own way.

Then there's us, destroyer of worlds, with our wars and ecological disasters. Could it be we're the outcasts made up of thieves, murders and the untrustworthy?

Our astronomers tell us the only logical way to make extraterrestrial contact is threw radio signals in far off deep space. These same people run down the terrestrial theory and UFOs in our skies altogether. Although these scientists have laterally tons of physical evidence dropped by UFOs since remotest antiquity. All of which point to this planet and the terrestrial theory, it fills many warehouses!

It would be fitting that when these short sighted scientists who ride on the coat tails of liars do flag down a star and extraterrestrial contact is made. It would be like welcoming the concurring Vikings or Cortas into the new world.

Tomorrow is another day, a day that we may see archeological digs on the moon. Automobiles powered by mere water, and oil used only for lubrication. Homes with small thermodynamic power plants make up a bigger and less vulneable power grid, with 94 percent less fuel bills, and 98 percent less pollution.

Thus the world's economy would collapse, or so were told. But by whom are we told, the thieves, the murders, or by the untrustworthy?

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Conspiracy Theory

We're NOT alone, thanks to clandestine technologies

WHAT WAS IT?

PERHAPS...a mechanical dragonfly spy!

June 1999

I was sitting in my new car, waiting in line at the car wash sometime in mid-June, I can't remember what day it was. It was approximately 11:00 a.m.

I had the sun roof open and was enjoying the blue sky when suddenly what appeared to be a dragonfly buzzed the roof of my car.

As it passed behind the roof of the car wash, I realized that it was much too large to be a dragonfly, and the movement seemed to be somewhat jerky and mechanical.

Momentarily, it returned and hovered directly over my open sun roof.

It was approximately 5 feet above my head. I realized at this point that it was not a dragonfly. I guessed that it was some king of remote control device, like an RC airplane. It had to be between 8 and 10 inches long and the back side was square, with a pointy thing coming off the rear. I could hear a very slight hum. I decided to get out of my car and investigate this further.

Just as soon as I opened my car door, it sped away, straight up and over the car wash roof, never to be seen again. Frantic, I asked the man in the car behind me and the car wash attendant if they had seen what I saw and both said they had not seen a thing. This was too weird!

I know what I saw and it had to have been seen by these people! No way they could have NOT seen it.

It was a couple of weeks later that I saw a television program on the Learning Channel or Discovery or one like that, where the government has developed little RC spy planes. And one of the ones shown looked remarkably like the "dragonfly" I saw at the car wash that day.

I can't imagine the government wasting it's resources watching a regular Jane like me but I guess stranger things have happened., I sure know what I saw and I know it was not anything alive.

I STILL get a creepy feeling when I think about it.

Deb

(Debbie Jordan-Kauble)

To see a drawing and read the full report click here Also, make sure to check out her great website www.debshome.com

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Conspiracy Theory

Conspiracy dreams are an FBI nightmare

Jan 22, 2000

By Dick J. Reavis -Express-News Staff Writer

A colorful New Orleans electronics expert, private eye and business promoter — like a mischievous twin of Forrest Gump — is back on the fringes of history. Read the full story here.

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Conspiracy Theory

Amazing 1952 UFO Newspaper Article - Your Help Requested

March 1, 2000

From Kenny Young

I am hopeful that someone might be familiar with the following account from a 1952 newspaper article and could kindly resolve a few questions which arise.

Would anyone know of this Joseph Rohrer, if he was who he said he was? If so...why would he be presenting this information in a meeting of this nature? Whatever came of him, or has anything been said otherwise to lend credence to the following remarks?

I'll be looking forward to any insight or comments on this one...

Thanks, Kenny Young

========================

Flying Saucer Talk Startles Chamber Membership Meeting Pueblo [Colorado] Chieftain, Page Three

July 23, 1952

A three-foot tall pilot of a flying saucer from another planet has been kept alive in an incubator room in the state of California for two years, and progress is being made in efforts to communicate with him, startled Chamber of Commerce members were advised here Tuesday.

Information on the still mysterious individual who reportedly was rescued from a "saucer crash" in Montana was divulged at the Vail hotel luncheon by Joseph Rohrer, president of the Pikes Peak Broadcasting Co.

The reputed lone survivor among crews of three saucers that have fallen in that state "has been shown pictures and has shown great interest in them and primary steps used in teaching a child to read and write are being employed," the speaker stated.

In his revealing talk Rohrer said dissection of dead pilots from the craft disclose that the only basic difference in anatomy is that their bone structure is heavier and their stomachs are smaller.

The speaker, alleging that he was inside one of the seven flying saucers at a California federal base in 1942, said that the mechanisms are giant flywheels covered with metal skins.

He stated that the saucers are covered by electrostatic turbines and have cabins in the center. The cabins are pressurized and have an atmosphere containing 30 percent oxygen and 70 percent nitrogen.

Thru use of the flywheel, a magnetic field is created which permits the saucers to travel at tremendous speeds, said Rohrer, who became interested in flying saucers as the result of a thesis he wrote on electronic tubes used to measure electronic tubes during his college training in electrical engineering.

"If a magnetic field is opened around the earth it would be possible to travel at about the speed of light," he stated. "They have never tried to fly the saucers that have been captured. They are put together in five sections and come apart easily after the center section is removed.

"I have been in one which is 100 feet in diameter and 18 feet thick," Rohrer stated. "The sleeping quarters for crew members are tubes with caps on the ends and the cabin was pressurized and air conditioned."

The color of flying saucers changes because of the magnetic field set up by the magnetic motors, he said. Reports of a flying saucer seen successively over Colorado Springs, Pueblo and Trinidad have made it possible to estimate its speed at more than 1,000 miles per hour. Six weeks ago a space ship was traced for 600 miles as it flew across Australia and in Seattle, Wash., all electrical appliances were burned out or fuses were blown in one section of town when a flying saucer "turned on power in the vicinity of a power line," Rohrer maintained.

Little information has been released by the government on flying saucers because of the possible panic that might result and because some religious leaders object to the thought of other universes, he stated. Venus, with its cloud covering, is one of the most likely planets in the solar system to support life, but there are 22 other known solar systems which have satellites similar to the earth's. By traveling at the speed of light and waiting until Venus and the earth were closest in their orbits around the sun, it would take about two years to fly to Venus and return, he pointed out.

Flying saucers first became evident when radar was being developed in 1942 and "unknown" objects appeared on radar screens.

The air force set up a commission to study saucer reports in 1947 and discovered that 20 per cent of the reports could not be explained satisfactorily. The air defense command at Colorado Springs has a unit designed to study the saucers and a pin- marked map showing saucer reports indicate they are seen frequently around military installations and atomic research centers, he added.

UFO Research http://home.fuse.net/ufo/

Conspiracy Theory

Shape-Shifting Reptilians and Their Cross-Breeds

Source: John Rhodes

Theory here of course, since no empirical evidence is at hand...

During the course of my many years studying the reps. and the phenomena associated with their presence here on/in and around Earth, I have contemplated long hours upon this question..... Many hours that is, always discovering a larger mystery with each discovery that I make. Hence, I feel as though I am a Dragon devouring his own tail at times! I know that many of you understand this feeling entirely!

I believe the shape shifting process may be initiated at a genetic level and the bodies molecular/atomic consistency could shift from the inside out. After the process is triggered, the vibrational energy that binds together the molecules, releases or "unbinds" and reshapes the molecules to a genetically encoded form or "template" that is embedded deep within the animal gene itself. (I say animal here simply because, a] One cannot dismiss the fact that we are all animals - regardless of our egocentricism - and b] legends from around the world in which animal shape shifting has been witnessed by shamans and aboriginal tribes people, such as in native American Indian lore, alike may have some factual basis.)

In regards to REPTILIAN shape shifting..... Reptiles, such as Chameleons, are very efficient at changing their colors to evade a pursuer. Although this is not SHAPE shifting, it clearly demonstrates that the physical body of an animal can change if the flight or fight mode kicks in and inherently triggers the change that is required for survival.

In cases such as this, the visual system of the animal probably plays an important function during the seconds preceding the shift due to the animals ability to reproduce the surrounding environment color frequency within their pigmentation. In some cases, the actual patterns of colors are duplicated as well. To me, this is an awesome ability that is shared by many of the reptilian species around the planet.

To imagine that this is a inherent ability that may have been passed down through the evolutionary genetic ladder to the reptilian humanoid, is certainly worthy of serious consideration. This is true, especially when one ponders upon the question as to whether or not the color shifting skill had enough time, over the millions of years, to evolve it's ability to effectively change the atomic structure as well? Can cross breeds do the same thing?

Well, if a humanoid reptilian crossbreed has a strong genetic connection to the reptilian within him or her self, then it may be possible for the cascading trans-form-at-ion process to occur by either accidental or purposeful (meditaional?) means. Does this mean that they are evil just because they may be able to shape shift? Of course not! It just means that they may be quite physically different. (I've seen some human faces shape shift during episodes of rage and excitement, but then again we call "being human.")

The fact that some lizards can detach their tail, leaving it in full motion behind them to distract a prey from further pursuit, is an absolutely amazing feat to witness. What causes the detachment, I do not know. Since there is no blood involved, one wonders about structural fracturing without associated trauma. Do the cells themselves split to allow separation?

Even more astounding is the limb regeneration ability that appears to be somewhat unique to the reptilian specie. These two physical traits, I believe, are vital clues to the shape shifting ability that some reptilian humanoids and crossbreeds are reported to have.

We must all remember that EVERYTHING we know as a solid, are mere atoms spinning at a high rate of speed and that EVERY atom is 99.9 % EMPTY space. We perceive it all as motionless because the human brain cannot process the optical information fast enough to recognize its true in motion state of being. If the binding "Though form" frequency of the host being shifts, then the atoms may follow.

Then again, I may be wrong.

It's just a thought about Form.

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Conspiracy Theory

Dear Mr. Short Gray Entity

Cathy (cathyn@n-link.com) writes:

I am an abductee, and I do not know for certain whether "they" are good or bad. What I do know is that the secrecy that surrounds this entire UFO/Abduction scenario is absolutely destructive, and has greatly added to our suffering. Yes, at times the events in an abduction are terrifying.

At other times I feel that "they" are holding up a "mirror" to us as a species, and I do not always like what I see. We can be our own worst enemy. I feel certain that there are those in powerful and high places who know the "truth," and are desperate to keep that "mirror" hidden for as long as possible, to keep us (the "sheeple") in the dark and shrouded in secrecy.

Ask yourself this: "If suddenly we could read each other's thoughts and there were no more secrecy, what would be lost and what would be gained?"

"The Truth shall set you Free."

A few months ago I went to see the movie "The Sixth Sense." The little boy in the movie reminded me so much of my own son, who is only 8 years old. He struggles much the same with the unusual "phenomena" that he experiences, sees, and draws pictures of.

Watching that movie, it really hit me hard what it must be like for him. He is still afraid to go anywhere alone day or night in our home, and he won't sleep alone. He draws pictures of what he "sees" and experiences, and tells me about his "dreams." I listen to him and reassure him the best that I can. Will he live his life a victim of the "secrecy"? Only the Truth shall truly set us Free.

The only way I am able to cope with all of this is to sometimes write down my feelings. So, in the wee hours of the morning when I can't sleep, this is what I wrote:

Dear Mr. Short Gray Entity,

I need to talk to you in "my time," when I am in full use of my facilities, as I have SO many questions for you! I have seen you many, many times in my life. My first memory was when I was very little, perhaps 3 or 4, when you came into my room at night and stood at the foot of my bed with two or three of your buddies. You would magically make my ceiling disappear and a beautiful night sky full of twinkling stars would appear. You would fly a "kite" on a long shiny string that stretched up into that sky and beckon me to slide up the string with you. In my childlike wonder, I thought you were magical, and my "friend."

When I told my mother, she said it was only a dream, even though I insisted that it was not. I began to doubt myself, I was no longer sure what was real. After all, I KNEW you were real, and what happened, happened. And if the grown-ups said that you weren't real, then maybe other things I knew to be real, really weren't either.

Years passed, and I regarded your presence in my life as curious things that happened to me, of which I did not talk about, because it seemed that no one understood. I was totally unaware of UFOs, aliens, or abductions, I had not made the connection. I always felt "different," I did not understand why. There was a spiritual side to me that was unusual for a child. Was this because of your influence? Or was it in response to my trying to cope?

My life, being 99% "normal," took the usual path. I grew up, married, and eventually had two wonderful children. I loved them more than life itself, being "mommy" was the only thing I ever felt I really shined at, and I loved every minute of it. I hardly ever thought of you, I kept you in the dark recesses of my subconscious. There, but not really there. Still, I was blissfully unaware of the weight of your presence in my life. I was too busy living my life.

Then, one night in 1994, you came crashing into my life. I am not sure whether it was intentional on your part that I saw you there in my bedroom, or if it was just a "fluke" because the sound of the electricity cutting off at my house woke me up.

You see, now that I was a Mother, I slept much more lightly. I only saw you and your two buddies for a few seconds in "my time," long enough to have to move my arm to see the rest of your face and to scream as I felt my heart freeze in terror. It felt like only an instant had passed, and then everything was back to "normal."

In reality, I had fresh recall of what had just transpired. I remembered pieces of my abduction before it slipped behind the "veil." I have not forgotten those memories. They are just as real and vivid to me as my first day of school, or the birth of my children.

I have no explanation for why I did not go insane that night, being there alone with my two young children in a totally dark house. Still, UFOs, aliens, and abductions were not a part of my interests. I remained blissfully unaware. I retained those memories, and tried hard to place what had just happened to me. I just could not put my finger on it. It seemed things were right there, just beyond my reach, and I could not recall them in their entirety. Somehow, you are able to place that "veil" over these memories.

It was weeks later that I began to slowly try to understand what had happened that night. I KNEW something had happened, I SAW you there at the foot of my bed. It was a long process to get to the realization of what had really happened, what you really were. I had wanted to disprove to myself what you were, and I read a book about alien abductions. I had a very hard time with it, even ripping off the front cover so I would not have to look at it.

Instead of disproving to myself what you were, I got an uneasy confirmation. This rocked my world in ways unimaginable. Whatever "veil" you had placed on my emotions about my memories, gave way to total and utter fear. Fear unlike any I have ever known. It nearly destroyed me. I actually WANTED to be crazy, at least that way I could be assured that you were not real, and would not be back.

It has been a long, long road. My world came crashing down around me. I did not know what to believe in anymore, what to trust. My life was turned upside down. I went through a divorce. I wanted to die, to escape this terrible fear and pain. I had to live for my children.

Yes, my children, whom told me about you, drew pictures of you. It has come full circle. I did not want to accept that they were involved in this also, but eventually had no choice. I was totally devastated. There was no place left to go but up. I have struggled to rebuild my life. In the process, I have become so much stronger, like a Phoenix rising out of the ashes. I no longer see the world through self-centered eyes as much, I know that there is more, so much more.

Is this growth I have experienced directly connected to you? Or is it a result of my struggle to cope? You seem to know just how far to push me, you can take me right to the edge and then stop before I go over. You then leave me there to struggle on my own. You give me no easy answers, I must search for them. At times I hate you for this, because it so incredibly hard and I feel so alone.

You take me and show me the most wondrous things, you tell me things that fill my soul with such awe. Then you leave me down here, to look up at the night sky and long for that which I have known. I am alone.

I did not ask for this, yet I am forced to keep this secret from those who would ridicule me, who do not understand. I feel that I do not belong in either place, not "up there" nor here below. I struggle daily to protect my children, the innocence of their childhood. I do not want to bungle the way in which I handle this with my them, yet the only guide I have to go by is my heart.

When I see you, dear Mr. Gray entity, I look into your eyes and know that I have known you a very long time. My soul recognizes you.

I am here, struggling for answers, answers I fear will never come. Is it useless to beg for your help? Somehow I know that this is an awakening that must come slowly, a journey that must be taken. And, so, I am here.

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Conspiracy Theory

Conspiracy theories arise over photos

April 24, 2000

The Lubbock Avalanche-Journal

WASHINGTON {AP} Some point to a missing tooth. Others say it's the hair. Still others allege signs of government-induced drugging. In the hours since young Elian Gonzalez was taken from the home of his Miami relatives, conspiracy theories abound over photos of the child released after he arrived at a military base to be with his father.