moreprogress3

Progress of Another Pilgrim

April 22, 1998 The Seeker: I sit here in tears, my heart so very soft toward our Beloved, so full of love for Him! That which follows below was written earlier, before an appointment and the going forth into other vineyards. There was more, it seemed, but now He bids me wait, and just listen... It is thy voice, blessed Singer, that calls to my ears out of the grand heavenly chorus--sometimes in a clarion trumpet call, sometimes wrenched with sorrow, sometimes as a healing balm, sometimes passionate with joy--but always singing the Song of His Love. This, below, is my song in response, inviting thee to please keep singing until the Song is so much a part of me that It Flows forth unbidden every moment! I used to believe that, if I could hear within, I could play. Ah! but now I desire simply to be the instrument through which The Music Plays! I am in tears, prostrate in spirit before the Lord of my whole heart... * * * I lay in bed this morning upon waking, communing with Him Whom my soul truly loveth. "My Lord," (Adonai!) I said. "I do not want to be part of the arm of flesh, with its futile symptomatic treatments to prolong the life of self. I want to be among Thy company at Thy coming in the Day of Jacob's Trouble. I want to be Thy instrument for the ministration of Life-giving Spirit!" I didn't see His Smile, but now I feel It radiating throughout my soul (the shining of His Face, the lifting up of His Countenance, the Sun of Righteousness!). And then He opened my eyes to begin to see the events of my past few weeks in Perspective, and my ears begin to HEAR the Song of returning saints! Not the Song they sing in ministry to the souls of men, but the one they sing to The Lamb, as they follow Him whithersoever He goeth. He spoke no words, but I believe He waits for me to respond with my (joyful!) word of faith: "I come, my Lord, to join Thy company! Let me be an instrument in Thy Hand!" B. The Singer: i bow. i bow before His Most Excellent and Most Holy Greatness. It is NOW very simple...i adore Him. He it is Who my soul desireth and delighteth in. He is Lord of all...and rightfully so. "By the grace of God I am what I am: and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain." I Corinthians 15:10 (KJV) F. * * * * * * * April 24, 1998 The Seeker: I've been pulling out your communications from my notebook's pockets. Many of the notes are quite brief personal messages of love and encouragement, and do not give instructions, per se...The communiques from me for those don't seem to me to be very important to understanding them. In fact, I am wondering how important most of mine are, other than to draw forth what you wrote. Sure takes me a lot of words to frame a question! Pages--long pages! He has been gracious and long-suffering toward me in thee... I know they were important in my growth, but surely they cannot, in themselves, be of great value to others. I can think of a few that might be, but have only looked through pockets at this point. B. The Singer: Long, yes, but they frame other's mute questionings and longings and give voice to their unspoken cries. They TEACH. F. The Singer: WANT TO REITERATE THAT THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY TO TEACH. THESE COMMUNIQUES ARE TEACHING...GREATLY SO. AND EVEN IF THERE BE LONGSUFFERING - AND I WOULD NOT CALL IT SUCH, WOULD CERTAINLY NOT BE MY CHARACTERIZATION - EVEN THAT MUST BE DEMONSTRATED AND MANIFESTED AS WELL. ALL IS HOLY. HE IS THE GIVER OF THE GIFTS AND DOETH ALL THINGS WELL. BLEST BE HE! F. The Singer: I WOULD HAVE THEE KNOW, I CHERISH WHAT HAS FLOWED BETWEEN US. I DON'T THINK EITHER OF US REALIZED THE IMPORT OF WHAT HE WAS DOING AND I AM GRATEFUL. THE "SPECIAL" FRIENDSHIP [NON-ORDINARY: WE "DIDN'T DO COFFEE"] IS NOTHING SHORT OF AMAZING IN LOOKING BACK. I BOW BEFORE HIM. F. The Singer: Somehow, somewhere DEEP within, I am strangely touched; cannot identify or give identification to it. No...Yes, I can...some of it. I think sometimes "you" cry without understanding because you are too hard on YOURSELF. Moreso than HE. And sometimes misjudge YOURSELF. You, TOO, are part of that whole upon which He WILLS to have compassion, WILLS to "overlook" and even NOT EVEN SEE what you THINK you see amiss in you. I look back and know that there were times He wanted to "LOVE ON" me, yet I WANTED TO PUNISH ME. TERRIBLE it was to ALLOW Him to "overlook" for ME. ONLY in hindsight do I see beauty when THEN I saw ugliness. How can it be that ERROR can be beautiful??!!?? I DON'T KNOW. WHEN I don't know. I AM NOT WISE ENOUGH FOR THESE THINGS. BUT I DO KNOW HE KNOWS. I love thee dearly. F. The Singer: You know, B., one of the hardest for me was to accept that I was 'in holiness" even when I didn't FEEL "holy". Or LOOK "holy". I bow. F. Sunday, April 26, 1998 The Seeker: F., precious winnowing fan in His Hand, friend of the Bridegroom who mentors me for His Coming, Want to share from my perspective of this drama of the Progress of Another Pilgrim. As I watch how The Beloved prioritizes my time, I can only know that Progress has a high priority among my present work. I am freely willing and fully committed to this project, but You have spoken of the cost to my flesh, and I believe You, for He shows me the desperate attempts of my flesh to avoid it. This is DEEPLY INSTRUCTIVE to me, but even more importantly, I believe it to be a means of divine redemption. (He will redeem the years that the locusts have eaten!) The “Totality of All” web page tells of the paradoxical simultaneously strong and non-existent sense of self in periods of the soul’s awakening to spiritual Reality, and of the important changes that are taking place when it is stirred. It is with that sense of soul-awakening to be engaged with Him that your query about more material for “Progress” came Friday morning. And when I find myself without understanding of my inner reactions in such times (ah! for the mind CANNOT enter the realm of spirit!), I can know (much better than thinking! Blest be He!) “important changes are taking place.” I bow. Your message to me later in the day literally shouted at me so that my whole being drew back, sat up, and fully attended: “WANT TO REITERATE THAT THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY TO TEACH. THESE COMMUNIQUES ARE TEACHING...GREATLY SO. AND EVEN IF THERE BE LONGSUFFERING - AND I WOULD NOT CALL IT SUCH, WOULD CERTAINLY NOT BE MY CHARACTERIZATION - EVEN THAT MUST BE DEMONSTRATED AND MANIFESTED AS WELL. ALL IS HOLY. HE IS THE GIVER OF THE GIFTS AND DOETH ALL THINGS WELL. BLEST BE HE!” It did not impact like a reprimand or rebuke that would arouse my defenses, but came as an urgent Plea of Love to HEAR what He is saying. In that moment, my personal reluctance to be what He has made me was manifested to me, and I felt a great yearning to fulfill His every desire for me by unquestioned obedience with alacrity. The further insights you offered bore such a poignancy of Love that they immediately penetrated directly into my spirit. My heart opened to Him, and the King of Glory rode into its embrace… B.