"Good friends
are the taste of the earth"
- fellow bus passenger
i love going to the city to visit Sir. i leave work as early as possible and rush to the station to catch the 4:30 bus. It has occurred to me more than once to drive myself, but my lack of experience on major highways, combined with the stifling traffic, always sways me back to taking the bus instead. And in truth, i rather enjoy the chance to lay my head back and allow my mind to wander off where it will go, or to catch a few moments of sleep.
Until this trip i have always managed to stay alone by putting my bag on the seat next to me, and closing my eyes, not acknowledging people as they pass by. This time however, the bus filled up rather quickly, perhaps because i was fortunate enough to get on one that was departing earlier. Given that i was directly behind the driver, it was very obvious the seat beside me was vacant, and before long a gentleman was asking if it was alright to sit down. i hesitate to call him "older" as it seemed he was most likely close to my own age. He was dressed in an obviously new, stylish suit. He sat down, folding the jacket neatly over his arms, and i watched him watch other passengers getting on, from behind the safety of my sunglasses. People, strangers, have a tendency to talk to me and i am constantly looking for ways of avoiding this. i have yet to understand why they do this as i tend to be very quiet most times. This time however, as the final passenger boarded and commented rather loudly that there weren’t any seats, i couldn’t resist chuckling when i heard my fellow "partner" mumbling to himself; "well, there are seats; they are just filled." He turned and grinned at me and we returned to watching the saga of the seatless passenger.
Eventually all was sorted out, and the bus pulled away from the station. my partner then did exactly what i knew he would; he started a conversation with me. He asked if i lived in the city we were heading toward, and when i replied no, he asked; "where, then?" i told him and he became very excited. He told me he had just finished his first week of employment in the very same town. In fact, it was his very first job in Canada. i watched his eyes light up as he said the name of the company and pulled out a business card to show me. i asked what he did there and another glowing description ensued, some of which i had difficulty discerning because of his soft accent. i asked if i might be allowed to keep the business card and he withdrew another from his wallet, saying it was the boss’s and perhaps i wished it instead. i smiled at him and said no; i preferred to keep his. He seemed very pleased by this.
For the next hour we spoke sporadically. Long pauses would occur between snippets of conversation, perhaps because we were strangers to each other, or because we both were a bit tired. But when we did speak, it was with a ease that surprised me and i wondered if, in his culture, people are more open and trusting with one another. Or is it just me, and my seemingly reticent nature of having to assess everything before treading into the murky depths of people. Whatever the reason, i have to admit i enjoyed listening to his descriptions of his life, and what he was revealing about himself as he did so.
He was on his way back into the city to visit his family, he said. Pride was abundant each time he spoke of them. He asked me what brand of television would be good for him to buy, so that they would have something to do while he was gone each week. i asked if he travelled every day and he told me of the motel he was staying in until he could move his family to him. He said he would have preferred to find work in the larger city, but was not able to. But he preferred the larger city and how it "moved". i understood completely what he meant by that, as i feel the same pull each time i visit there.
He asked me why i was going to the city and i replied that i was seeing a very good friend. He didn’t question me further, only smiled wistfully and in a lonely tone said; "my friends are on the other side ... how do you say? The other side ... the globe?" i nodded in understanding and that is when he said the quote i used today. Good friends are the taste of the earth. The idea of using "taste" to explain, appealed to me. As though our friends are flavours that sit well on our palates.
i didn’t ask him where he was from originally. Sir asked me that and, i think, was a bit surprised that i hadn’t. It didn’t seem to matter to me though. He was so obviously pleased to be in Canada, working and providing for his family, and looking ahead in every way, that what came before him felt irrelevant to me. i admired his courage at starting new in a culture as foreign to him as his would be to me.
my own life if changing and although i am constantly puzzled by the direction i need to decide on, and what i want, meeting and talking with this man has caused me to think again, about how we all hit cross roads in our lives. And part of what Sir has been teaching me, has been to help me choose the right road. Our conversation also has me to reflecting on friendships and how one must be able to trust completely, for them to "taste" right. i think if we are really lucky, we get to have several different flavours on the menu. But a true, long-lasting, trusting and loving friendship, is a gift indeed.
i hope i experience this one day :)