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The undersigned hereby agrees to release FBB Enterprises, division of Eric Limited Liability company, from any and all responsibility of injuries and/or death(s), suffered while participating in activites presented in the publication of FBB's waivers of liability. This is a document, that may or may not include photograph's, text and illustration's. FBB Enterprises is not responsible for: a.) A surfer's stupidity; b.) a surfers inability to guish websites from reality; c.) a surfers ability to get a date. Do not delete, mock, or other wise mutilate FBB Enterprises. Test subjects who have read the FBB waiver presents the Waiver of Liability for at risk net surfers, have expierenced phyiscal, mental, and emotinal side-effects including, but not neccesarily limited to: dry mouth, spliced nostrils, self infatuation, impolitness, headaches, uncontrollable drooling, darkended stool, downy hair, unpleasent body odor, and drowsiness
The party of the first part agrees that the part of the second part is part of the party of the third part, who agrees to party like it's 1999. Is that a bug over there? Look at that thing. Wait-- use this napkin. If the undersigned agrees to enter a crowded supermarket wearing only a diaper while screaming "Powder me!" in front of the deli counter , FBB Enterprises will be annoyed but not suprised. That reminds FBB Enterprises of a joke. FBB Enterprises can only remember the punch line. "The pudding is still the refrigerator!" Can I get a freakin cup of coffee in here? What's your name? How long have you worked here? Hey, don't walk away when I'm talking to you! FBB Enterprises did not want to end up in a postage size stamped-coffee, pounding out meaningless contracts for $19.62 an hour.FBB Enterprises is a sad clown--laughing on the outside but crying on the inside. FBB Enterprises wanted to drive a big rig and head the lonesome road with a chimpanzee companion in human clothes.
It is understood that FBB Enterprises strong resents the prefertntial treatment given to the writers in the publication department-- those pretenious bastards with their Hyundai sedands and lavish expence accounts, always jetting off to the Carribbean to drink champagne from the navels of swimsuit novels and supervising their extra value meals. FBB Enterprises is growing tired of their forced irony and kiddie nihilism. Does the undersigned like music? FBB Enteprises has a selection of excellent world music CD's that will introduce you to exotic rythms and haunting melodies from faraway lands. If you want to "rock out" try our newely remastered, 11-CD Uriah Heep boxed set. Just set that down over there. Thanks. FBB Enterprises will envelop you in a comforting blanket of sound with its new collecting of ambient nature recordings. Drift off to sleep as you listen to the wistful sound of flies swarming around a stangant puddle of water in an old tire. Are you still reading this? Only a complete idiot would read this far into a liability waiver. I'll bet you didnt realize that most contracts exist to confuse non-lawyers to point where they have to hire someone like us for $19.62 and hour. By the way, the undersigned's mom told FBB Enterprises to come and ask you if we could get you a date. Does the undersigned have a problem with that?
Further more, it is agreed that the undersigned is a complete geek who struggles to read text positioned underneath other obfuscating text presented in unusual font FBB Enteprises heaps its scorn upon you while handfules of wet feces form a clogged toilet in fraternity house. FBB Enterprises has been feeling kind of tired lately. Does the undersigned think it could be mono? FBB Enterprises can't take any more sick days this year or there mayb be trouble with human resources. The rumor is theres some sort of list down there and FBB Enterprises is on it, especially, after I had to go to those special seminar's. Did the undersigned know it's very comfortable to go to work waring wet underwear? FBB Enterprises does not advocate that the undersigned should perferom in his/her/it's underwear or in various states of undress. The stated opinions in this document are necessarily the opinions of FBB Enterprises or any of it's affiliate's. Just try it sometime.
The following exceptions to the affiliated joint operating agreements for the continuation of process management benchmarking. Give Coco yummy food. Give Coco yummy food. Coco do bad thing in corner. Listen, if FBB Enterprises want to go to Gor conventions and operate a Kim Cattrall fan site, what business of it is human resources anyway? What is that buzzing sound? If the undersigned demands that the distance of the outfield walls should be shortened to fatten his/her/it's advantage, FBB Enterprises reserves the right to laugh in the undersigned's face. Who the hell does the undersigned think he/she/ it is is? FBB Enterprises reserves the right to have a bite of whatever it is the undersigned is eating. Come on, FBB Enterprises had to skip breakfest sing he/she/it was late for work because of traffic on the 520 bridge. If it is clear that the undersigned is not engaging in good faith bargaining practises with FBB Enterprises, there may be a cause to...thanks. Is this the Pad Keh Mao or the Pad Siew? The undersigned has momentarly avoided aggravating FBB Enterprises.
In the even that undersigned chooses to ignore every damn thing FBB Enterprises has been trying to tell him/her/it, the undersigned can bite FBB Enterprises. Shut that thing off--I'm trying to work. FBB Enterprises cannot be held liable for incompetent work performed by FBB Enterprises but will be happy to pin the blame on someone who does not happen to be in the room at the time then correct my/it's shoddy work, pretending all the while that I am rescuing a project
Signature Witness
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Must be authorized by Note O' Me
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