It's Christmas bloody time again, the worst time of the year.

Me pocket's filled with bloody nowt, me blood has turned to beer!

The kids are bloody whinging, 'cos their batteries are flat.

Whoever said ho bloody ho, is laughing through his hat.

I've overdosed on bloody pud, of turkey I am sick,

I'm tired of all those bloody carols, eject that tape, and quick!

I'd like some peace and bloody quiet, but all the family's here,

They've come to drink me bloody grog, it happens every year.

Just once I'd like to bloody go and sponge off them that came

To scoff me bloody food and drink, they're all the bloody same!

The lights upon the bloody tree are flashing in me eyes,

Me wife says, 'When yer having fun, the time just bloody flies.'

I hate the bloody festive season, it's screwing up me brain,

But wait 'til bloody Hogmanay, we'll start it all again.

Bah Humbug!