Time to get across to see Gertie,
such a long way to go. It must be love, for me to go to such effort. I suppose I've got to take a bit of trouble
to look my best, or she'll knock me back again.
You lot don't know how hard it can be when you're a cockroach
going courting. All those bloody shoes to polish, and it's so difficult to reach the back of my carapace with the varnish.
One last quick brush to my antennae and I'm off. Quick
check to make sure that stupid cat isn't around, the one that uses me and my family to teach its kid how to hunt. I
lost a leg last time it cornered me, and I'm still waiting to see if it will grow back.
OK, out from under the fridge. I can see the dark cave
under the cooker where my darling Gertie lives. Have a sniff. No, I can't smell the Mortein. I think
the last lot of Ajax took the last of the surface spray off. About time! I haven't dared go over there for months.
It's ages since I've had a leg over. It's so long since, I can't even remember which leg, there are so many.
Oi oi, what's that under the sink, a black shiny box with
holes in the sides? Let's have a look-see. Wow, food! I'll just have a nibble, build up my strength to give
Gertie a good going over. Then I'll bring her back here to eat. She'll think it's so romantic, me taking her out
for dinner. I'll be set for life!
