THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

 

“T’was the day after Christmas and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even the mouse…”

 

HAH!  and again HAH!

 

An Alka Seltzer tablet would be the go, but no!

‘Cos someone else’s hangover took care of every one!

I’ll have a glass of water then to minimise the glow

Of too much booze and too much food and too much bloody fun!

 

I’ll need to sweep the floor again to clean up all the mess

Of burst balloons and Xmas wrap and bits of Xmas cake.

I haven’t seen the carpet since the onslaught of my guests,

You’d be surprised at how much mess just ten more people make!

 

The kids ate all the chocolates, the nuts, the chips, the pests!

So then they had no hunger for the turkey or the pud,

So here I am, just one of me, to eat up all the rest

Of salads, ham and turkey that no other bugger would!

 

It’s a sin to chuck it in the bin, there’s starving kids out there,

The “waste not want not” ethic demands I eat all that,

For days I shall be riveted to table and to chair,

While knowing that this surplus Christmas pud will make me fat!

 

All I want for New Year is another set of guests

Who’d help me clean the kitchen floor with bucket, mop and soap.

Who’d take away the excess food so I could eat much less

Of Christmas cake, mince pies and buns.  HAH!  Not a bloody hope!

 

BAH, HUMBUG!