“Jake Barton!  Are you asleep in class?”

I woke with a start as a large wooden ruler thudded on the desk beside my head.

“Er, sorry Miss Taylor.  I didn’t mean to drop off in your class.  I guess I’m just too tired to stay awake this morning.”

“I don’t want any excuses.  Pay attention in my class from now on.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

It wasn’t fair!  It wasn’t my fault!  I was always tired nowadays.  Aunt Minnie had gone back to Missouri and her banker husband, and Jeb and I had moved back into our old room.  This would have been dandy, if it hadn’t been for our little sister, Mindy Lou.  Turned out she was a night time screamer, and our bed was right up against the wall, with her cradle right behind that.  Even though we stuffed cotton in our ears, she still kept us awake at night.

Not only that, but we missed our Aunt Minnie’s cooking.  Oh, Maw was a good cook alright, but she was too busy looking after Mindy Lou to do much in the kitchen.  Jeb reckoned Maw should have changed her order and got a boy instead.  “Billy Joe’s kid brother ain’t half the screamer she is,” he complained.  “Girls are nothing more than trouble.”

To add to our woes, we had to do Maw’s share of the chores around the farm too, as Paw dealt with his tiredness by spending much of his time away from the farm, rebuilding his still.  He wasn’t game to rebuild it on Old Man Potter’s land, so he had to transport all the copper tubing and the boiler etc., over to the Hatfield place.  Bertram Hatfield still wasn’t getting around too well since falling off the greasy pole at the county fair, so Paw reckoned his still would be safe for a while.  Besides, old Bert liked his drop of moonshine, so Paw figured he could keep him sweet with the odd jug.

“I see you didn’t hand in your homework this morning,” Miss Taylor continued.

“I brought in a note from Maw to say I couldn’t do it ‘cos I was helping Paw with his chores.”  I thought better than to say I’d been helping Paw tote the stuff for his still over to the Hatfield place.  Besides, Ellie Sue Hatfield was in class, and I reckoned she’d tell her Paw.

Miss Taylor was outraged.  “I read it,” she remarked grimly, “And I want a word with you during morning recess.”   It was only the morning and lunch recesses that kept me from going silly; having to put up with her I needed those breaks.

Ten minutes later as the class whooped its noisy way out into the school yard, I sat still at my desk while Miss Taylor fastened me with a beady eye.

“Now, Jake Barton.  I must tell you that I am most dissatisfied with your conduct in my class, and intend reporting your attitude to Mr Bodean.  You cannot neglect your school work to, as you say,  work around the farm when your father and mother are perfectly capable of doing the work themselves.  You seem to have made it your mission in life to disrupt the smooth running of this class, and to undermine my authority over the other pupils.  You are one of the most disruptive influences I’ve ever tried to teach.  It seems you are the same outside class, as I have seen for myself on a number of occasions.  You are a year behind in your schoolwork too.”

This wasn’t fair, as the whole class was a year behind city schools.  Miss Taylor didn’t realise that country kids had to do so much more at home than the city kids she was used to, so there was little time to spare for schoolwork.  Mrs Bennett, our regular teacher, knew this and made allowances for seasonal variations in attendance and performance.  Why, during harvest and planting times she never set us any homework.

I tried explaining this to Miss Taylor.  “But Ma’am, there’s always a lot of work to be done on the farm, and what with Maw’s new baby and all, I don’t get chance to sleep much, that’s why I fell asleep in class this morning, and yesterday morning.”

“That may explain part of it, but it doesn’t excuse it,” she said.  “And it certainly doesn’t explain your poor attitude.”

“But Miss Taylor, I’ve tried, I truly have.  When you got sprayed by that strange skunk, didn’t I take you home?  Didn’t I try to help you by finding out when you wanted us to bring in Homer for show and tell?  I never understood why you got so mad at me then.”  I could feel the defiance creeping into my voice, but I couldn’t help it.  She just didn’t appreciate me, and I was beginning to think she’d never realise just how charming I really was.

“Because I’d heard you all laughing about it, if you must know.  I’ve tried talking to your father about you, but obviously my words didn’t get through those moonshine fumes!”

“But Paw knows I’m not a bad boy.  He’s real proud of Jeb and me, even if he don’t show it much.  And Mrs Bennett nearly always gave me good reports.”

“Well, I’m not Mrs Bennett, and in my classroom we play by my rules.  Is that clear?”

“But I do try to play by the rules, and I said I’m sorry for falling asleep in your class.”

“Don’t answer me back, Jake Barton.  You’ll stay back and do half an hour’s detention this evening after school has finished as punishment for your insolence.”

“I can’t do that, Ma’am.  My mother needs me to help her.  I need to pull the potatoes and the greens from the garden, tote the water from the well, chop some firewood and collect the eggs, and I can’t do none of that in the dark.”

“Then your good for nothing family will just have to pull their weight.  You’re here to learn, not to make excuses.”

That did it.  It was bad enough that she picked on me, but she had no right to talk of my family like that.  I suppose I stood about 4 and a half feet tall at that age, and I drew myself up to my full height.  “I’m not here to learn, not no more, and you shouldn’t say things like that about my Maw and Paw.”  To my horror I could feel my voice trembling as I yelled into her startled face.  “You’re a mean, rotten teacher, and I’m not coming back to your stupid school, not until Mrs Bennett comes back, and I hope that darn skunk comes back and gets you again.”

With all the dignity I could muster I marched over to the classroom door and pulled on the handle, forgetting that the door opened outward.  Meeting the unexpected resistance, I did what you’d expect and, staggering back, fell flat on my can.

Mortified beyond endurance, I picked myself up, threw the door open and ran out into the school yard.  “Jeb!” I screamed.  “Get your ass over here.  We’re going home.  Jeb!  Get here!”  My kid brother muttered something to his gang of friends with whom he was playing some ball game or other, and made his way over to me.

“Jake?  Why are we going home?  It’s only morning.  We’ll get into trouble.”

“It’s that Miss Taylor.  She said Paw and Maw were no account and lazy.  She said I’m a dispersive, er, depressive, aw hell, a bad influence on the rest of the class.  I told her I quit.  I’m not going back there, and nobody’s going to make me.  All because that kid’s screaming kept me awake all night and I fell asleep in her history class”

“Gee, what are you going to tell Maw and Paw?” Jeb asked with awe in his voice.

“If you quit flapping your gums I’ll think about it afore we get home.”

Jeb subsided into a hurt silence, and I thought about it all the way home, but as we walked into the farmyard, I still hadn’t come up with a real good reason to avoid being sent back to school, so I resigned myself to telling the truth.

Maw was sweeping the porch, and when she heard our approach she put down the broom, put her hands in her hips and said, “Well?”  Just that.

Jeb turned traitor and blurted out, “Jake said we had to come home because he fell asleep in class.”  Thanks, little brother!

Maw’s raised eyebrows put me in mind of Aunt Minnie and, even worse, Miss Taylor, and suddenly I couldn’t talk.

“Jake?”

I was unable to say anything beyond a muffled  “Er…”, and Maw’s voice grew sharp.

“Jake?  What’s going on?  Speak up or so help me I’ll…”

Suddenly the dam burst, and out it all came, at breakneck speed.

“I’m not going back.  It’s all her fault.  She said I’m bad and Paw’s a drunk and she made me have detention and I told her I couldn’t and she said all my family is good fer nothing and I told her I wasn’t going back to school and I hoped the skunk would get her again, and I’m not going back there and no-one’s gonna make me and I’m going to sleep in the barn so the baby can’t keep me awake and I don’t care if Paw uses his belt on me.”

Then the tears of rage came at last, and I fled down to the creek where I sat on my rock where nobody could see me until I’d calmed down.  I don’t know how long I sat there, but it was a long time before I heard footsteps and then Paw’s voice.

“I thought I’d find you here.  You used to come here when you was little and got mad at something.  Here.”  He handed me a large none too clean handkerchief and sat beside me.

“It’s that teacher of yours, ain’t it?”

“I’m not going back there while she’s still at the school.”

“We’ll talk about that, but first I want you to tell me what happened today, without flying off the handle and getting mad again.  Your Maw said you was in a hell of a state when you got home, and she couldn’t make out what you was saying.  Something about your teacher, she thought.”

I blew my nose and, soothed by Paw’s presence, I told him as much as I could remember clearly about the morning’s events.

Paw sat in silence after I finished, deep in thought.  The creek flowed silently past and a couple of jaybirds had a noisy argument in the tree above us, and I wished I had my gun with me so I could take out my frustrations on them.  Eventually Paw spoke.

“First of all, you have to go back to school.  You don’t want to end up a dirt poor farmer like me.  I promised your Maw that you’d get an education like she had so’s you’d have a chance to make something of yourself.  You need some book learning even if you only want to become a lawyer.”

“But…”

“Wait on, I haven’t finished.  Second, I want you to apologise to Miss Taylor.”

“What?  Never!”  I yelled so loud that the jays took off with a noisy clatter of wings.  I was scandalised at the thought.

“Hold on Jake, I know it’s not all your fault, but you do tend to get a hair up your ass when things don’t go your way.  And you sure have a habit of acting dumb that can rile anybody.  I’m saying you should apologise to Miss Taylor for laughing about the skunk spraying her, and for telling her you hoped it would happen again.  As for the rest, you have to understand that she’s from the city and knows nothing about country ways, and she’s going to have to learn to make allowances for kids having to help around the farms rather than do their homework.  I’ll have a word with Mr Bodean tomorrow and ask him to get her to go easy on you kids until she’s familiar with our ways.  Maybe she could spend a weekend on a farm so she can see what it’s all about, then things could improve.”

I was feeling as miserable as a coon dog that’s lost its sense of smell.

“But Paw, if I keep falling asleep in class, it’s never going to get any better, and she’ll keep picking on me.”

“Sorry son, I hadn’t realised that Mindy Lou was a problem for you at night.  She sure keeps me awake too.  Tell you what.  You’ll take the day off school tomorrow and we’ll move the baby’s cradle to the other side of our bed, so she’s further away from you.  Then we’ll use some of that old lumber in the barn to build another layer of wall in your bedroom, so she’ll find it harder to keep you awake.  I’ll go into the school first thing along with Jeb and explain to Mr Bodean just what’s been going on.  I promise you things will get better from now on.  Tonight you can sleep in the barn, and if Mindy Lou starts up again I just might join you in there.”

It was a feeble attempt at humour, so it only rated a feeble grin from me, but I did feel better.  Not about going back to school;  I’d never feel better about that, not until Miss Taylor had gone back to Joplin to torment the city kids, but about the fact that Paw understood, and that by some miracle I wouldn’t be meeting the business end of his old leather belt.

“Come on,” he said gruffly, “Let’s get back home and have something to eat.  Maw made some cornbread this morning, and old Man Gifford traded me some ham for a bucket of our pecans, so how about we ask Maw to fix us some ham and eggs with fresh bread?”

I did something I’d never done, and threw my arms around Paw in an outburst of affection.  Nobody had a better Paw than mine.

The following morning, Paw returned from his trip to talk with Mr Bodean, whistling as he unhitched Sam from the wagon and turned him loose to graze.

I was waiting by the woodpile and dashed over.  “Did you get her fired?  Did you, Paw?  Is she going back to Joplin?”

“Whoa, slow down Jake, let me get home first!”

I hung back while Maw made Paw a fresh pot of tea, then sat with him at the kitchen table as he drank it.

“First of all,” he started, “Nobody’s being sacked.  Mr Bodean called Miss Taylor into his office and we all had a good talk about things.  She apologised for what she said about us, and said that you’d got her so riled up she didn’t realise what she was saying.  She sent you an apology too for laughing fit to bust when you ruined your exit by falling smack dab on your ass yesterday.”

I was startled.  I didn’t think Miss Taylor knew how to laugh.

“Mr Bodean thought it was a great idea for her to spend a weekend on a working farm to give her an idea of how different things is down in the country, so er, she’s, well, the upshot is, Miss Taylor’s going to er, well, Mr Bodean thought the best place for her to stay was here.”

“Paw, he didn’t!”  Horror struck, I made hasty plans to stow away on a freight train.  I’d join that kid John in the witness protection programme, so I’d never have to stay in the same school for long.

“He sure did,” said Paw, “And when Miss Taylor and I tried to refuse, he told us we had no choice.   So you and Jeb will be out in the barn again.  But tell you what son, we won’t put up that extra wall in your bedroom until after the weekend.  Reckon that teacher will be so tired on Monday morning she’ll be the one asleep in class.”