Cats are people, and I’ll kill anyone who disagrees with me.

They are not the ingratiating tail wagging “yes” men that mankind has designed dogs to be, constantly reassuring their (usually male) owners that they are the best in the world.  This is a reassurance that many men seem to need, not only from their dogs, but from their wives, or at least their sex partners!  And you will never see a cat fetch a stick that some forgetful person has thrown away, constantly requesting his pet to retrieve it for him.  Oh no, a cat will say “If you forgot you needed the stick, then maybe if you fetch it yourself, in future you’ll remember not to dispose of it prematurely!”  Or words to that effect.

Cats are much more self reliant.  Have you ever seen a dog catch a mouse because his owner has forgotten to feed him?  In any case, people do not forget to feed cats, as cats have learned the knack of knowing exactly where you are going to place your foot, and getting there just in time to trip you until you figure out where you have erred.  Really, the mouse catching is an exercise designed to hone their survival skills in the event that this demand to feed your moggie fails due to unforeseen circumstances, e.g., leaving your cat with your husband while you go into hospital for your triple bypass.  A house slipper or a high heeled shoe never seems to make the firm contact with a cat’s rear as does a steel toed working boot!

A cat’s world does not revolve around his owner, or master, as dog owners usually refer to themselves.  I once read one of the fundamental truths of the Universe, that dogs have owners, cats have staff.  You come back from a long trip and a dog will fawn all over you, saying “Where have you been, I’ve missed you, how wonderful it is to have you back with me.  I love you!”  Not so his feline counterpart.  Tiddles will sit with his back to you so you can see how he is ignoring you, and will say “You went away and left me with that fat slob who only fed me dry cat bikkies, you can take the consequences.”  He will never sack you though, as a cat is always smart enough to realise that, though he can survive alone magnificently, you are the one who provides his luxurious standard of living.