Dear Professor Praxis,

I know you will be forwarding this report to the Centre for Time Travel, so I’ll try to keep it free from my personal opinions, though that may be difficult.

First of all, I would like to confirm that some of the 21^st Century lifestyle theories that abound in 3045 are true.  However, there are many discrepancies between what we believe and what is true of the time, at least up to the year 2005.

As planned, I arrived in Australia in the year 2003.  Our history books describe Australia as being part of the United States of America, but this is not yet the case.  However, this country is already subservient to the current American President, Bush, who has not yet been assassinated.   As directed, I have not forwarded any warnings regarding this forthcoming event to the relevant authorities.  However, his increasing megalomania makes any attempt at warning him personally distasteful.

Corruption, as we deduced, is rife among most politicians, including the Australians.  The current leader, whom our history books for some reason refer to as “Honest John”, gets his exercise from his many back=flips over election promises fraudulently made then  discarded as soon as the ballot papers have been counted. The general public is well aware that he is so practiced at lying that he doesn’t know the meaning of truth, but they have not yet begun the revolt that will one day restore honesty and integrity to Local, State and Federal Government. 

(In our day it is impossible to imagine one single country being over-regulated and over-taxed by three separate governing bodies.  I long to return to our single World Government system.)

However, the rumblings among the population are swelling daily.  The main bone of contention against authority is the abysmal level of protection against crime afforded to normal people, though proper education is far beyond the reach of many, students actually having to pay money to go to university. 

Criminals are not punished in the true sense of the word, frequently being allowed back into general society no matter what crimes they have committed.  Prison security is little more than a joke, and the lifestyle inside these prisons is on a scale of luxury denied to the vast majority of Earth’s population.  Victims of crime are treated with contempt, not even being allowed to defend themselves against the vilest thugs, instead being charged and imprisoned for assaulting burglars, murderers and rapists.

I know you will all find that difficult to believe, but I swear that I am telling you the truth.  I am enclosing a newspaper account of a man who is in prison at the moment for protecting his life and property against repeated attacks by lawless armed gangs of youths.

We were right about the high levels of pollution that came close to wiping out the entire human race.  Though much is said, nothing is being done, and humanity plods along trusting to the future to take care of itself.  I find it difficult being unable to warn them of what will occur less than fifty years into the future.  It is very hard being bound by your strict rule concerning travel into the past, especially when I consider the countless lives that could be saved.

Religious conflicts play a large part in world affairs, with the most radical elements of some cults committing the most heinous acts of terror, then being afforded  what is called a “fair trial”, instead of being exterminated for the protection of mankind.  It is frequently the case that a man who kills a dozen people in the name of religion receives a far shorter prison sentence than a man who merely steals money.  Astonishing, but again, true. 

Many of these injustices can be laid at the feet of the so-called Civil Libertarians, whose main agenda appears to be the protection of the civil rights of criminals and terrorists.  Once the Council for Civil Liberties was outlawed, and political correctness abolished, then things started to improve, but I’m getting ahead of myself, as that’s still in the future.

I’ve found that it’s the little things that make this such a diverse and unusual culture in many ways.

Women who care for children without the support of a partner are being harassed by the current Prime Minister, who cares nothing for the strugglers in society, to re-enter the workforce, although it has already been proved that the neglect of children has been a major cause of the breakdown of law and order in the general community.

Health benefits for the poorer end of society are being eroded at an alarming rate, though it must be noted here that the general public takes little responsibility for its own health.

 For instance, it has been known for decades that over-exposure to the sun’s rays causes skin cancers, yet the beaches are full of semi naked bodies on the hottest days. 

There is a prevalent phenomenon known as “fast” food, provided by chains of irresponsible restaurants, who provide meals at low cost for people who cannot be bothered to cook for themselves.  These meals are unhealthy, fat laden and mostly disgusting to anybody with a few taste buds, yet they are extremely popular.  The result is a world full of fat people, preyed on by organisations making money out of counteracting their weight problems.

Similarly, people ignore the fact that excessive drinking is harmful, yet they still jump into their cars and drive.  Cars have not yet been fitted with immobilisers to prevent this.  Hell, they don’t even have computers, and have to be manually driven by a tired or drunk human peering through a small dirty glass window, trying to get from A to B without killing other road users.  The hover-car has of course not yet been invented, and though the roads are known to be dangerous, much time, money and valuable resources are spent building newer and faster ones.

Look, I know that you’re reading this in total disbelief, but have I ever lied to you?

Marriage is still the fashion, with male/female unions the norm, though true equality in sexual preferences is slowly gaining ground against the opposition of religious leaders and other bigots.  Even Governments feel the need to regulate which sexes are allowed to copulate, though a movement known as “Gay Power” is struggling against the blatant injustices.  One woman of my acquaintance was refused permission to visit her partner in hospital after an accident, simply because her partner was a woman, whose parents honestly thought they were doing the right thing for their daughter by not allowing her to see her lover.

On a brighter note, this is the start of the age of personal computers, though the majority of them are so huge and cumbersome that they need special desks to house them.  The use of the Internet for ease and speed of communication has barely made a dent as yet in the postal system, but the cost of postage stamps is due to rise to cover losses in revenue.

Technology is in its heyday, and the youngsters have embraced it with gusto.  Only a few years ago, they were going around with music producers known as trannies (slang for transistor radios).  These trannies grew in size and volume and became known as ghetto blasters, but are now being replaced by miniaturised music boxes called ipods, which, being easier to transport, assault the eardrums as never before.

The latest gimmick is the mobile phone.  One woman demonstrated her model to me just recently.  It could send text messages to other phones and take photographs.  It was a calculator, a torch, a compass, a reminder pad, a walkie-talkie, a games console and an alarm clock.  The lady was surprised when I asked her if she could call people on it to talk to them.  After a minute or so, she remembered that it also had that function.

This is a strange age in which to live.  People seem to be obsessed with obtaining lots of money with no effort and immense sums are spent weekly on various forms of gambling.  People wager money on guessing which numbers will be drawn out of a barrel with many numbered balls or tickets, in games called lotto, raffles and bingo.  They are also willing to bet on which horse or dog can run the fastest, even on which number or symbol will be uncovered by scratching away a protective coating on a piece of card.

Women are particularly keen on the bingo version of the numbers game.  They gather in large groups around tables in large draughty halls, listening to a man calling out numbers in a semi humorous manner, then one will shout “Bingo”, upon which all the other women have to groan in unison.  This exercise continues for a whole evening, broken only be a brief interlude for raffle tickets to be drawn from a barrel, offering prizes to the winners.

Once in a while money will be won on these games, which is immediately spent on gadgets supposed to make life easier, but which complicate their lives unnecessarily.

I truly miss our simple ways in the 31^st Century, and am spending the rest of my stay here by blending in with the locals, and adopting their outlandish ways.  As local cover, I’ve even learnt to smoke cigarettes.  They are paper tubes filled with shredded vegetable matter, then instead of being eaten, they are set on fire and placed between the lips so that the idiots can inhale the smoke.  I’m not sure of the true purpose of these cigarettes, though their main use seems to be in revenue raising for the government.

Professor, stop shaking your head in disbelief and bring forward my return to 3045.  I have enough proof in micro-copies of newspapers and magazines to convince even the hardest of sceptics that I am telling the truth.   Bring me home!  Now!