Scene:
A New York street, outside a strange cottage occupied by a family of bears. Two detectives, Briscoe and Green, are questioning a young girl, with long blonde hair, porridge on her blouse and an innocent look on her angelic face.

Briscoe: We have witnesses that say you waited in the street until the family went out for their morning amble around Central Park, then broke into their home. Forensics have just told us that you smashed their furniture, stole their food, and even slept in their beds. How weird is that? You some kind of kink? What's your name? Goldilocks?
Goldilocks: The bastards are lying. I was just passing by. I was never in that dump.
Briscoe: I guess the fingerprint boys will clear that up. Meanwhile, you're under arrest.
Goldilocks: On what charge?
Briscoe: Vagrancy will do for a start. You have the right to remain silent, so shut the fuck up. Green, have you got the cuffs? Book her.

Scene:
Interrogation room down at the 5th Precinct. Goldilocks is being questioned by the same two detectives at a long battered table covered in ashtrays, coke cans and hot dog wrappers, when her lawyer Lily Leaf bursts into the room.

Leaf: OK you guys. You know you can't interrogate a minor without her parents, guardian or lawyer present, so the session's over. Come on Goldilocks. We're outa here.
Briscoe: Not so fast, hotshot. Your client's under investigation for serious offences. Break and enter, wanton destruction of property and theft. She's not going anywhere until we get some answers.
Leaf: You don't have to tell them anything dear. We could sue the pants off the City for wrongful arrest, harassment, breaching the rights of a minor, racial discrimination, you name it, we got it.
Green: Now hold on there lady. I never said a word to this honky kid, it was Lenny here that did the arrest, so you can cut the racism crap.
Leaf repeats, Come on Goldilocks, we're outa here. They leave.
Briscoe: Kids nowadays. No respect for anything. And lawyers like Leaf don't help. They have the hoods back out on the streets before the ink's dry on the arrest warrant.
Green: Yeah, and Leaf will do her best to discredit Mr & Mrs Bear. Say they're illegal immigrants, or claim they put cocaine in the porridge or something. We just have to make sure we have an open and shut case.

Scene:
Courtroom number 2 at the State of New York Juvenile Justice Division, Justice Clementine Smith presiding, Jack McCoy prosecuting and Lily Leaf for the defence.

Smith: Jurors, you've heard all the evidence in this case, now the counsels for prosecution and the defence will make their closing remarks to the jury.

McCoy walks over to the jury box, buttoning his jacket as he goes: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. You've heard the defence's lawyers claim that this young girl is the victim of mistaken identification. That she was in fact sitting with her sick grandmother during the time that this crime was perpetrated, and that she just happened to be outside the Bear residence while going to the drug store for vital medication for the sick old lady. Yet I look around this court, and don't see the so called witness anywhere. The defendant claims that her grandmother has disappeared, so cannot attend court. A convenient disappearance indeed. Don't let this butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-mouth appearance fool you. The facts prove otherwise.
We have provided documentary evidence that the Bear family last year raided the backyard of the defendant's family and made off with two hives full of bees and honey. In fact they were convicted of the charge, and Mr Bear spent 3 months in Sing Sing for the crime. It stands to reason that the defendant had ample motive for retaliation, and in fact, took her revenge on the Bears by wilfully breaking into their residence and smashing the treasured chair used by the young Teddy, a valuable family heirloom. Not content with this wanton vandalism, she then proceeded to deprive young Teddy of vital nourishment by eating his porridge. In fact, the forensic evidence shows that when she was arrested, Goldilocks had porridge stains on her clothing.
Her third act in the household was to try out all the beds. You have heard the evidence of Shady Sam, the second hand furniture dealer on 66th Street, who has testified that Goldilocks two days earlier had offered him a deal on cheap beds.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you to put yourself into the position of the Bear family, and imagine how it would feel to have your home violated in such a terrible manner. Yet kids today are so unrestrained in their behaviour, that you probably don't need to imagine it. The State calls on you to send out a strong message to the youth of this city that this attitude will no longer be tolerated, and we are asking the court to impose a jail sentence of not less than three years, without parole. Thank you.

McCoy sits, and Lily Leaf approaches the jury.

Leaf: Well, what a hardened criminal we appear to have before us. Mr McCoy has eloquently twisted the facts and ignored vital evidence in his crusade against this poor child.
Some points for you to ponder during your deliberations.
Number one:
How many people walked past the Bear's house that morning? Is there some law that says this young girl must not walk past on her errand of mercy? My client was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Number two:
The porridge on her blouse. Have you never spilt porridge down your clothing while attempting to feed an elderly relative or indeed a young child? It might be interesting to find out just how much porridge is spilt during the average breakfast in New York City. Circumstantial evidence.
Number three:
The beds It may seem callous in retrospect, but Miss Goldilocks visited the used furniture dealer as she was in desperate need of money. She was painfully aware that her grandmother was in fact dying, and knew that her grandmother's bed would bring in just enough money to pay for the funeral. More circumstantial evidence. She was nowhere near the beds, and their rumpled state was in fact merely the result of sloppy housekeeping on the part of the mother, Mrs Bear.
Number four:
The claim by the Bear family regarding the breakage and value of the chair has been disproved by expert witnesses, and the Bears are at present being questioned by the insurance company regarding a possible claims fraud.
Number five:
This poor young lady has testified that she is allergic to bee stings, so would only be grateful to the Bears for removing this threat from her backyard.
Number six:
The disappearance of Goldilocks' grandmother is at present under investigation by the NYPD, and in fact we have just received word that the major suspect, a Mr B. B. Wolf has been arrested, due to damning witness evidence from Goldilocks' cousin, Little Red Riding Hood, who claims that their grandmother has been murdered, possibly cannibalised.
I ask to you to deal with these outlandish claims by the prosecution one by one, and you'll see them for what they are, a hodgepodge of unproven, unsubstantiated allegations by the State. Yes, we want to keep down the crime rate in this city, but persecuting this innocent child is not the answer. I know you'll do your duty as concerned citizens and acquit my client of all charges.

Scene:
Same courtroom, two hours later.

Justice Smith: Members of the jury, have you reached a decision?
Jury foreman: Yes, Your Honour, we have.
Justice Smith: And what is your verdict?
Jury foreman. We find the defendant, Miss Goldilocks...