Kathryn mopped her lips with the napkin and leaned back in her chair. "That was a very nice dinner, thank you. Now to business."

"Hear hear, to business,"

"Put that glass down, you fool. I meant we're going to talk business now."

"You don't mean... you're going to sell me some Amway? Right here, in Bluey's Bistro?"

"This is what we need to talk about. Grant, you asked me to marry you, but how can I when you won't be serious for two minutes at a time. It's one thing being the life and soul of the party, but when it's just you and I, getting married isn't all fun and games. You need to concentrate on what we're getting into, instead of getting ready with the next flippant remark."

"You had me worried there. I don't like Amway."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry darling, but it's time to talk turkey." Ignoring his "Gobble gobble," she continued. "I love you Grant, but I can't spend a lifetime of listening to your one liners, like some crazed American comedian. I'm turning down your proposal."

"But Kathryn, I thought you loved me for what I am," he said, "Not for what you want me to be."

"I thought I saw the potential in you, but now I think I must have been wrong. Your friends warned me. He's a great guy, they said, none better, just the man you want with you on a night out, but he's never been ready for commitment. Ask any girl he's taken out, they said."

"Maybe they don't want to lose a good drinking companion."

"Damn it Grant!" she exploded. "Don't you even care that I'm refusing to marry you? Do I matter so little?" She pushed her chair back with a sob, and rose to her feet, in full flight mode. "Yes, I love you, but you make it impossible to like you!"

Grant's hand reached out and closed around her wrist. With a new tone in his voice, he told her to sit down and listen to him. Unwillingly, she sat, and picking up her unfinished drink, she drained the glass.

"Now that's exactly what I wanted to hear," he said. "If I read you right, you'd marry me if I were more of a sober-sides, right?"

Her mouth opened and closed with no sound escaping from it.

"Well, there's hope for me yet," he smiled. "I think it's time for me to spill the beans. Another drink first, to celebrate our engagement. Yes, engagement!" he said, firmly.

As they settled with their fresh drinks before them, he proceeded to enlighten her. "It's simple, Kathryn. I have to be sure that somebody loves me for myself, not my money, so I act the fool to prevent anybody getting too close to me until I'm certain of how they really feel. I got the idea from the Scarlet Pimpernel, who played the idiot to camouflage his real self."

"You thought I was after your money?" her voice sounded incredulous.

"Just eliminating the possibility," he admitted. "But I was hoping against hope, because, as you should know by now, I've fallen hopelessly in love with you. There's a lot of hope in there, but it's not surprising!"

"Well, I'll be boiled in oil and served with a side order of chips! While we're being honest with each other, I have to tell you that I know you inherited a few million from your father, but what I didn't tell you, what I don't tell most people, is that I stand to inherit more money than you've ever dreamed of. My real surname isn't Hedges, it's Gates, and my dad's a household name. He kept me right out of the public eye, to protect me from the paparazzi and potential kidnappers. The general public don't even know I exist."

It was Grant's turn to open and close his mouth while remaining speechless.

"We're a pair of paranoid idiots, scared to admit our wealth, in case we attract the fortune hunters," she continued.

Pulling himself together, he reached into his pocket and took out the small ring box. "Well, how can I turn down the wealth of the Internet? Now will you marry me, you devious dame?"

"Yes, yes! But if you slip back into your old frivolous ways, I swear I'll alt + ctrl + del you!"

© Sandy Parkinson 24th January, 2007. Word count: 739