That ol' boobook owl with its eerie cry "Hoo Hoo"
Sounds more like a sleep wrecking nocturnal cuckoo,
While the karking of crows at sparrow fart make me
Wish for a gun when at dawn they awake me.

The magpies that swoop while defending their nests
Are beautiful birds, but belligerent pests.
While black cockatoos in my gum tree do play
Littering my garden with gum nuts each day.

The pigeons that fossick my seeds from their bed
Are equally likely to crap on my head,
And the sound of the kookaburra's maniacal laughter
Makes my mistakes sound incredibly dafter.

I've found out which family and friends I can trust
To spare me my blushes by telling me just
As I walk out the door that my weero has messed
On my head or my shoulder, incontinent pest!