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A wonderful bird is the pelican
For his beak can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week
But I don't know how the helican!
There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in a lake
When a man in a punt
Stuck a pole up her nose
And said "Oy, you can't swim here, it's private!"
There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
He'd write all the night
But try as he might
The last line always came out too long to fit in with
the rest of the lines!
The new modern height of the miniskirt
Makes leg viewing easy to do,
With the thighs and the knees
Exposed to the breeze
And the goose-pimples always in view!
There was a young gay lad from Broome
Took a lesbian up to his room.
They argued all night
As to who had the right
To do what and with which and to whom!
There was a young girl from Lake Grace
Whose corset would no longer lace.
Her mother said, "Nellie,
There's more in your belly
Than ever went in through your face!"
The birds all arrive to be fed
On birdseed and biscuits and bread.
My old cat lies in wait
By the side of the gate,
But he waits for his Whiskas instead.
Albert Einstein propounded a theory
Which we all have accepted as law:
That we couldn't proceed
In excess of light speed
When we move into space, he foresaw!
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