Another kid's been chased away,

True patience I have not.

Im older, can't be troubled with

Their dribble, pee and snot!

The noise they make is dreadful

To me tender little ears.

I wish their Mums would smack them

On their smelly little rears!

They get their sticky fingers

Into every nook and cranny.

They shouldn't be inflicted on

This feeble clapped-out granny!

The shop is sometimes peaceful

When Mums leave their kids outside,

But one Mum did, and oh, good grief!

What decibels it cried!

The choc milk drips, potato chips,

The biscuit crumbs and toffee

Adorn the floor and make me wish

For brandy in me coffee!

So here behind me countertop

True peace is what I seek.

Thank God I only see these brats

For two whole days each week!

So listen Mums, and hear my plea,

The answer's good and sure.

Just gag your kids and tie them up

And leave them at the door!