Fuzzy little caterpillar, climbing up my plants,

Heading up an army of aphids and of ants.

Ill get you, little caterpillar, bet your life I will,

I've got this tin of pest spray

and I'm coming for the kill!

Those peas are mine, I paid for them,

I planted them, they're mine!

I water them, I care for them,

I'll protect them, rain or shine.

It's not that I don't think you're cute,

of course I bloody do,

But when you turn into a moth,

you'll eat my wardrobe too!

So bugger off, protect yourself! 

Find another yard

Owned by one less tough than me,

it shouldn't be too hard

To find a place where food is free

and leaves are lush and green,

And folk like me with tins of death

are never ever seen!