Hello, my name is Tuvix,

please come and play with me.

I'm just a liddle puppy,

as friendly as can be,

You'll know I feel excited

when you see upon the floor

A liddle bit of piddle,

would you like a liddle more?

I'll piddle on your trousers,

I'll piddle on your shoe.

I piddle on me mother,

so I'll do the same for you.

The carpet gets a wetting,

the chair, the bed, the floor,

With just a bit of piddle,

whoops!  Here comes a liddle more!

I like to go out visiting,

wet someone else's floor,

It's quite a strain, but I can

always pee a liddle more!

I'm just a liddle puppy,

yet my output is prodigious,

Mum says 'Oh God' and 'Jesus Christ',

she does seem quite religious!

Ten piddles every hour,

with twenty four each day,

A liddle bit of piddle

goes a very long long way!

I'll piddle on the lino

and I'll piddle on the mat,

And if it held still long enough

I'd piddle on the cat!

I piddle in the garden when

my Mum plays fetch with me,

The roses went a funny brown,

it's all my fault says she.

She hopes that Ill grow out of it,

but I just think No way!

Cause a liddle bit of piddle

is the best fun, night or day.

My Mum was a Chihuahua,

my Dad a Silky mutt,

I'll never get much bigger

than the size I am now, but

If practice does make perfect

then I'll piddle more for sure,

And my liddle widdle piddle

will saturate the floor.

Then when Mum grabs the bucket

and starts to clean it up,

That's when it gets exciting

for a happy little pup.

I dash around the kitchen

in pursuit of Mother's mop,

And even though I'm piddled out,

here comes another drop!