Young Billy raced in through the door,

'Come quickly Mam,' he cried,

'A feller's lying in the street,

I think he's gone and died!'

No, he hadn't.

Young Billy came in t'kitchen door,

'Mam, come and look at this,

Our Johnny's brought a girlfriend home,

He's giving her a kiss!'

No, he wasn't.

Young Billy did this every day,

He told the wildest lies.

His Mam did not believe a word,

She merely rolled her eyes.

Yes she did.

But then one day he bustled in,

Alarm all over his face.

'I heard a bloke say in the town

The Queen's come to our place!'

But had she?

Young Billy's mother said 'Young man,

I'm not that bloody green

To think our dirty little town

Is honoured by the Queen!'

Yes she did.

But t'lad for once was telling t'truth

For t'first time out of many.

The Queen was at the public loo,

She'd stopped to spend a penny.

Yes, she had!