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Feelings are everywhere - be gentle.
J. Masai
 Feelings are sensations. They are a means by which our intuition
relays information to us regarding inner and outer circumstances such as a
psychological conflict, or a person or situation. When we are feeling, we are
resonating to one or more traits of something inside of us or outside of us.
This resonance is like the phenomenon that occurs when our eardrums vibrate with
the sound waves that are striking them. We interpret this empathic resonance
into what we call feelings, that we develop further into our responses, likes
and dislikes, values, and guidance. However, when we say that someone "hurt
our feelings," it was not our feelings that were hurt. The feelings merely
notified us of an injury that occurred elsewhere within the psyche.
 | Feeling is a process. This process has various stages:
 | The empathic resonance. "I feel something about this
place." |
| Our interpretation of this resonance. |
| Our sense of the proper course of action based on this interpretation.
We venture that a particular different circumstance would create a resonance
with which we would be comfortable. "I feel that I should leave, and go
home", in other words, we would "feel better" at home. |
| A re-checking of the empathic resonance. This is a reiteration of the
first step. After we have completed the course of action and we are now at
home, we examine our feelings again, to take a reading on our new situation. |
| Our interpretation of the new resonance, and our evaluation of the
success of our action. |
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| Emotions are not the same as feelings.
| Feelings exist only in the current moment as responses to present
circumstances. Emotions linger. We require time to gear down from them,
particularly in the emotions' physiological correlates such as muscle
tension, adrenaline, and the changes in heart rate and respiration. The
emotions remain even longer, perhaps for years, if they become associated
with design elements. |
| Feelings are subtle and light. We have to listen for them. Emotions are
blatant, even disruptive, in our psyche and they are even more obvious because
of the physiological effects. |
| Feelings do not release energy. They are a simple activity. In
emotions, one of the most pronounced features is the release of energy that is
to be used for fight or flight or another physical act. |
| Feelings are simple resonance. It is only in our interpretation and
judgment of them that we separate them into good feelings or bad feelings or
another type of feelings. By interpreting and judging feelings we are defining
or interpreting something we know little about. Feelings are not subject to
understanding, They just are. When, however, we intrude on their free flow by
assigning them values and judging them, we create an energy block of
discomfort. |
| Feelings deal with information. They give it to us. Feelings can
tell us, "I feel like resolving this issue" or "I feel that
walking away from him is my best course." |
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| Feelings are a message from ourselves to ourselves.
They tell us whether
we are on track. We feel contentment when we are getting what we need, and we
feel discomfort when our feelings are warning us of an unfulfillment. Feelings
guide us in decision making and they confirm the correctness of our choices by
the pleasure that we experience. When we achieve an overview of our general
feeling activity, we learn who we are as people. To an extent, we define
ourselves by what we like, and what we like to do as determined by our feelings.
That which offends us can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. |
| Feelings help us to live in this world. Like all other inborn parts of
our humanity, feelings are part of a survival mechanism. Feelings alert us to
dangers and excesses and deficits. Survival is important in more than just the
biological realm, so our feelings respond to stimuli on all levels, from food
and sex through the highest planes of art and aesthetics. A psychologically
healthy person responds with feeling to everything that is encountered. |
| There are no negative feelings. The conflict between feelings and
intellect occurs not only when we deny feelings altogether, but also when we
judge particular feelings to be bad such as "I should not feel
uncomfortable around her." Feelings are simply our response to someone or
something. If we react negatively with aversion or repulsion the feelings are
not at fault. They are innocently reporting their perception, and then we have
added a further response of aversion or repulsion or, contrarily, attraction or
desire. If we accept our feelings as valuable input, we attend to each one, and
we don't condemn them and try to squelch them when they tell us that something
is causing discomfort. |
Your emotions affect
every cell in your body. Mind and body, mental and physical, are intertwined.
Thomas Tutko
Next topic: Repression and
Suppression |
