Relena is perhaps the most reviled character on the show. Many of you have wondered why it’s taken so long to get a data sheet on her, but we have good reasons. First of all, we’re lazy. Secondly, there are numerous sites devoted to mocking her already. Last but not least, prolonged exposure to her sends me into insulin attacks. But enough excuses. Forward, the light brigade!

Fewer things are more irritating then Relena Peacecraft and her saccharine coated pursuit of world peace. (Saccharine is especially appropriate in this case; like Relena it has been shown to cause tumors in lab rats.) Relena is sovereign of the Cinq Kingdom (the numbers again!) and brother to Zechs Marquise. If you haven’t noticed, the Peacecraft family has a strong insanity streak, and Relena is no exception. Her steadfast clinging to total pacifism -- when she isn’t shooting at Oz operatives or stalking Heero -- winds up getting the Cinq Kingdom screwed. It does have one hell of an army for a pacifist kingdom, though. (Some smart lawyer must found a loop-hole in there. Before watching the show I had never met a pacifist tank.) It still gets stomped on, though.

Overall, Relena’s misrule of her shabby little land makes the Cinq Kingdom a poster child for a constitutional monarchy (i.e., set her on a throne and pretend to care when she says something). Then again, that would bring about the whole tabloid problemm, like the Brits have. I’m sure the population would commit mass suicide rather then being subjected to having to see her every move in print. So let me change that a bit. The Cinq Kingdom is a poster child for a violent insurrection. (Hey, it’s a French number, so they’ve already got a head start. All they need to do now is summon the soul of Robespierre. And bolt his head on.)

After her misadventure in the Cinq Kingdom, Relena gets to be King of the World. Or Queen of the world, if one doesn’t have doubts. Why? My theory is that the good Duke was smoking his own stash, but then that’s just me. There’s a myriad of other reasons to be considered. For example, the writers just could have been too lazy to come up with a logical transition. Or maybe they’re just idiots. That works, too.

Relena doesn’t get to be King for long, though. Alas, a spate of downsizing strikes the world nation, and Relena is shipped off to outer space. There, she tries to save the world from her brother by ... whining. Like I said before, it’s a nutty family.

Relena also happens to be masochist. (Who else would fall in love with a guy who spends his time trying to kill her?) I guess this were that pacifism comes from, too. Sordid stuff, that Gundam Wing. Sordid stuff. Then there’s the whole issue of her hair. Where does that annoying little tail come from? Is it pinned on? Is it growing out of her ears? Or is it something far more sinister...

--Gundam_go_home

Pacifism in action.

Enough, already! Back!