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 NAME: Milliardo Peacecraft and/or Zechs Merquise (Damn, I thought Lady Une had problems) MOBILE SUIT: Tallgeese, Wing Zero, Epyon (the one that looks like Satan) ETHNICITY: European (yep he's not English, German, or French, just a Caucasian mutt) HEIGHT: 180cm (damn metric system, one sec lemme get my calculator) = 5'11" WEIGHT: 65kg aggh not again! BASTARDS! 65 x 2.2046 = 143.299 lbs EYES: Glazed over gray, envision a stoned-out weed-wacked loser. HAIR: Very very white. This brings us to the traumatic tale of Milliardo as a young boy playing with a container of industrial bleach. He was horribly scarred from the ensuing accident and made himself a mask made out of paper mache. He then lived in the catacombs under his family's mansion playing on a huge organ. TURN-ONS: Acting like a badass, getting to command a Death Star wannabe, saying deep poetic quotes which probably mean something in the Japanese version yet are just pointless to Americans TURN-OFFS: in school the other kids played keep away with his mask (until he killed them in their sleep), having to put up with a young Relena Zechs Merquise is one of a plethora of characters upon which the creators of Gundam Wing did not bother to bestow a personality. To make him distinct, they had him dress funny. Granted, this is more than they did for most Oz soldiers who don't even get bodies of their own; they have to share the same one (Though it gets killed time and again, it keeps coming back -- sort of like an animated version of "Night of the Living Dead.") Zechs is principally distinguished by his mask and desperate need of a haircut. He also wears a bright red uniform, which is quite puzzling for an officer in such an advanced army. After all, the British found out two hundred years ago that red was not the color to wear when people are shooting at you, but I guess we must assume that this secret was lost and Oz, though able to make incredible technological breakthroughs, never rediscovered it. Figures. But I digress. After the his father's pacifist kingdom loses a war (sort of thing you can expect from pacifists) and is destroyed, the guy changes his name to Zechs and puts on a mask. He then enrolls in the Lake Victoria Military Academy, which is populated entirely by white people.(I guess everyone turns white by the time Gundam Wing takes place.)This raises interesting questions about the place's security. What kind of academy would admit some bum with a mask and fake papers without checking up on him? No wonder the place got blown up by a fifteen year old. I'm sure the mask poses other problems for Zechs. I can imagine him walking into a bank and getting shot by a security guard. Surprised it hasn't happened already. It also wreaks havoc on his social life. The poor bastard can only land one Lucrezia Noin (rhymes with "groin").I think we can safely assume that the lady's got problems, as does anyone who could fall for a guy dressed to rob a convenience store. If you haven't noticed already, Zechs's wardrobe is much more interesting then he is. When you realize how inane that is, you can get a good grasp of the quality of the character. I think Zechs does too, because he eventually loses it. Irked at his half ass lines, disco clothes, and gross underdevelopment as a character, Zechs ditches the mask and tries to destroy the world. He is stopped by our psycho friends the Gundams. Given the moronic nature of the Gundam universe, I'm not convinced that saving the world was that good a thing, but it's a start, isn't it? |
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