this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

with each new generation, so much of the knowledge and experience of the previous generation is erased

ad infinitum

brad warners’s basic mistake is the same as all the religious and the same as what they do on r|zen

they won’t put in the work sorting it out themselves and developing their own expression, but assume there is some objective theory they can pick up and regurgitate

of course all the argumentation is over which theory to regurgitate

its also a mistake eihei dogen made, though some of his views have the uniqueness of having worked it out himself he obviously tries to create a patter to fit conventional buddhism

 what  is  who ?

i  don’t  know

people pick up ideological monsters thinking they are puppies

half their brains are eaten away before they notice

if they notice

people pick up ideological monsters thinking they are puppies

well they are not

absolutely everywhere is inhabited

the ferals are everywhere

there is





absolutely everywhere is inhabited

the ferals are everywhere





absolutely everywhere is inhabited

the ferals are everywhere




drug users go in circles don’t they ?

why does mathematics work ?

mathematical descriptions reflect deeper semantic coherences

 what am i doing, where am i going ?


its always the same, people of no understanding saying they have an understanding

its all the same, people of no understanding saying they have an understanding

my re-working of eihei dogen’s  ‘ jinzu ’

some-one gave the buddha a statue of a previous buddha

that is the superpower, there are no others

its such a modern disease to take our sense of self-worth from the opinions we hold and not what we do

its such a modern disease to take our self-worth from the opinions we hold and not what we do

you are disturbed by what i write because it is true and upends your views

you are disturbed by what i write because it is true

william dampier led an  action packed  and adventurous life not conceivable of today

buddhism ostensibly is about truth and not sham yet it is sham and not true

actually if you look at what the last supper really might have  looked like  all the decidedly muscular disciples are arguing and jesus is a gay suicidal

that’s pretty much how the bible story goes anyway

jason  writes

a friend, who does not do any drugs, but has a bad sleep schedule due to work and gaming, says his memory is getting worse from the sleep deprivation

i’m finding j.m. coetzee  semi-boring  and while close to the target, is not centered well enough

i think this victoria wood  sketch  conveys the distance between people quite well, one can just hang there open jawed at how differently other people can think to you, content varies hugely yet the mechanisms are the same

yuja wang  plays  the prokofiev toccata

we see quantum physics on the macroscopic scale all the time with books, statuary, archaeology, genetics, drawings, portraits and digital records

brad, despite my having pointed out the fictionality of buddha several times to you, you fail to do any research on the subject and persist in treating  “ the tales of buddha ”  as historically real

one of the interesting differences with christianity, especially the old testament is many of the people are clearly historically real as archaeology shows, josiah of judah and various other kings at one extreme, peter, paul, james and pontius pilate in the new testament, however moses and jesus are of course completely fictional composites, but buddhism is entirely fictional

i think its actually mentally ill to persist with a delusion like buddha was a real person

steve-t attempts a refutation and ends with  “ .  .  .  and i hope that you over come whatever is eating at your mind and soul ”

my  reply

insane people pretending bad fiction is historically real is what eats at me

the crusaders were trying to make the world a better place according to their make believe reality

lies in the beginning end up lies in the end

michael douglas  recounts  an interesting story about jack nicholson in the filming of  “ one flew over the cockoo’s nest ”

brad warner can’t hack criticism

he’s got a few problems, a vast hole in the sort of knowledge he should have, you can see it in his videos, a library full of junk reading and he tries to fill the gap with buddhist pap

he’s relied too much on meditation and actually he doesn’t do that much

but the other half which is quality reading and thinking he hasn’t really done at all so he’s out on a bit of a limb

i have noticed twice now, when i say something  snarky  about him, he doesn’t reply directly but makes some  general comment  on his facebook page

he’s too scared to reply direct to me now, i know i can write this secure in his not reading it because he will not read anything he doesn’t like

“ For Trevor-Roper, who took a dim view of his own profession, this was all hilarious stuff.  It became rather less funny when he himself was fooled by a set of forged documents that had been passed off as Hitler’s diaries

Significantly, he appears to have  stopped  collecting material on Peters at about the same time ”

“ we’re all just people in our rooms 

 trying to figure it all out, trying to be happy ”

speak for yourself, i’m not in a room and am not trying to be happy







of migraine

let me weep with the pain

of migraine

the problem men and women have is evolution has configured each to maximise its genetic return

each needs the other to do that and they have a similar investment in children, but apart from that the similarity ends and there’s mismatch

huh, i had not known the origin of this song and had never thought about the meaning of the words, but certainly am familiar with it

neil young  sings   “ old man look at my life ”

the nobel prize winners for literature are not so great, let alone intimidating

the great of course never win the prize

the nobel prize winners for literature are not so great, let alone intimidating

the great of course never win

it seems obvious when we die that the world continues without us ,  but that’s not what happens

as an illusion vapourises so does this world, never is becomes never was and there is nothing to compare

it seems obvious when we die that the world continues without us ,  but that’s not what happens

as an illusion vapourises so does this world, never was becomes never is and there is nothing to compare

all these idiots chasing  “ true meaning ”

diseased minds

long experience has taught me that whenever you get people making definitions that most people will not understand then you are looking atsome-one close to being in a psychward

on the way buddhism uses the word  “ suffering ”

its mentally ill to take the meaning of word so far away from its accepted english usage

its mentally ill to take the meaning of word too far away from its accepted english usage

people with charisma don’t have any intellectual equivalent, often they are dreadfully normal

joseph bathanti reads  advising

king josiah of judah was  preoccupied  in imposing a consistent state religion when he should have been focusing on building up an army to defend against the babylonians

i have got to say that the history of judaism is one of a completely fucked in the head religion

a lot of the old testament reads as apologetics for that stupidity, they need another chapter for the holocaust

adolescent cocaine exposure leads to  psychiatric disorders  in later life

“ optimizing vitamin  D and marine omega-3 fatty acid intake may help prevent and modulate the severity of  brain dysfunction ”

shiny females at life’s peak

high on themselves

shiny females at life’s peak

just high on themselves

whether cataract removal, laser or something else, the nature of any operation on the eye is  ‘ buyer beware ’

“ dogen says ”

you say eihei dogen says

“ derrida says ”

if you can read derrida, there’s something wrong with you

“ dogen says ”

you say eihei dogen says

time versus timeless

not the ends of a pole

but a meaningless dimension

time versus timeless

not the ends of a pole

but a crazy dimension

time versus timeless

not the ends of the pole

but a meaningless dimension

time versus timeless

not the ends of the pole

but a crazy dimension

victoria wood  sings  her song  “ bum to the world ”

ewk trying to persuade ronin of something

ronin trying to persuade ewk of something

the farce persists











the time

ewk trying to persuade ronin of something

ronin trying to persuade ewk of something

the farce persists








have passed

the time

i’m going to include some straight entertainment occasionally, joseph goebbels was of the view that entertainment  (and he was actually quite negative on obvious propaganda)  is all people are looking for so i am going to take a leaf out of his book

catherine tate looks  for romance

jason  writes

i’ve learned that around here you have to pay $10 to get places that are worthwhile, if you don’t want to drive too far

walking outside  this old mansion  i caught a passing scent that i hadn’t smelled in a long time, it was a familiar smell from when i was around six and often walked through a garden of a lady my mother used to work for

i’m not sure what plant it was and i didn’t investigate, maybe a hydrangea ?

inside the mansion there were many old women, and an old man, who acted as tour guides

one old woman, in her mid to late eighties i’d say, spoke to me up close and i felt my eyes start to water and this sickly feeling passed through me, i was mostly trying to get away from her but she gave some good information i suppose

jason adds several weeks later

i’m at work chatting with a customer and her daughter, i’m engraving a tag for them and the little girl is interested in how the machine works

when the tag is done i overhear her mother advising her to rest today because she has to go to school tomorrow

i mention that i’ve not been feeling well today

i also say how i went to the arboretum and before i finish she goes “ oh, we went too ! ”

they say about two weeks ago, same time as me, they also did a tour inside the house just like me

i say how i think one of the old ladies got me sick, she says it might just be the same person who got us sick with this virus

“ i can let go no problem ”

this is not thinking straight, notions of  “ letting go ”  are hanging onto something else

its also a screwed up notion of time, the past is never erased, constantly stalking us with its imprint

don’t get too theoretical, practicality overrules

very occasionally i come across something by eihei dogen that makes sense, but a lot of what i read by him is meaningless garbage

however in part i think this is due to inadequate translation and philology, but also as you might expect he did change his views

whatever else he was, he was hyperlexic, must have been writing most of the time in his later life which should make people think twice about endless meditation

there is a much more famous  ‘ spiritual ’    book  written eighty years after dogen’s death by a kyoto homeboy who was also a buddhist priest but you never see it mentioned in zen

interestingly yoshida kenkō seems unaware of dogen, so dogen’s influence must have dropped out of sight very quickly after his death

quotes  from the tsurezuregusa

all those brain chemicals from eating a wallaby brain in the evening

disturb the sleep

bet you never read that elsewhere

what’s interesting about  this book  is it is effectively  “ outsider art ”  and written and drawn for the author and not publishing

its solipsist

the entire book is reproduced  online

scotty kilmer works outside deliberately to keep from breathing solvents plus has a fan

your thinking however is a tangled mess, weren’t you brought up in a cult ?

something screwed you up and you need to work on understanding things more simply and clearly and expressing yourself so people can understand what you write or say

“ i will try to work on that.  i was raised among church tent christians and alcoholics. they were one or the other with some side swapping ”

you are probably not used to being able to express yourself safely

my only criteria for membership of zen_mystical is, is your content useful to me and other readers

victor klemperer’s diary is the most depressing thing i have watched, to be caught on the wrong end of  an insane deam

i honestly don’t understand people’s fascination with samuel beckett

religion validates in terms of opinions

art validates in terms of original production

opinions of course are transitory

its only from a certain perspective, the mystical, that life makes sense

otherwise it just doesn’t

you can explain this to people but they just don’t get it

its too big a step to go outside their busyness and hubricity

“ tattoos being correlated with mental health disorders does not imply causation ”

my heavily downvoted reply

well nanoparticles and toxic inks are causation

bad art taste is not

edit  :  i just love the downvotes, hit a nerve and watch the downvotes roll in

two nerves in this case

wow, i got a sensible reply and my reply is as follows

interesting  article  thanx

i think the percentage of tattooed skin area would be a huge confounding factor

titanium dioxide is associated with diabetes, that’s a scary one, nanoparticles go everywhere in the body

reading the actual  study  is disturbing

a guest everywhere

i look in as dinner is served

as i tramp past other’s gardens

the rose opens

my comment

the above poem is by jenny joseph, i find they are like puzzles, have to be thought on and like her rose will open

its a bit weird, she is one of the greatest poets but never will be acknowledged as such


jenny joseph

mooing with the cows

lost up the amazon

she doesn’t find it exceptional

because all rivers lead to the sea

“ we were all sitting there waiting for jenny to arrive  (ed. to teach a poetry course)  and it was getting dark and jenny hadn’t turned up and we found her eventually in the middle of a field, with a very large branch in her hand and about eight or ten cattle around her in a circle and it was difficult to tell whether she was fending the cows off or she whether was enchanting them in some fashion

i went up very tactfully and they moved away and said  “ we were just wondering where you were jenny ”  and she replied  “ oh i was lost but i knew i’d be alright, i knew all rivers reach the sea ”

and she was standing there by the river that in due course would indeed have found its way down to the sea but she’d have been weeks getting there

there was something sort of mystically unconcerned ”


what are your politics ?

what history tells me

what does history tell you ?

one generation of graspers succeeds another

what are your politics ?


brad warner, your  “ bridge ”  experience pointed you in other, more fulfilling life directions, or at least saner

practice and buddhism are wrong turnings, you should have ditched the nostalgia and music as counterproductive especially as you have a tin ear

tattoos are  associated  with mental disorders, surprise, surprise

is zen a religion ?

a religion is basically some spaced out totally crazy belief system that requires suppression to be taken seriously even if the only suppression is that of you applying common sense and some rigour of thought and experience

but of course historically the suppression usually involved you being parted in violent and unpleasant ways from your life

zen matches religion by the first criteria by suppression of questioning whether zen masters know what they are on about

the vast majority are pretenders and put forward by pretenders claiming to know what they are on about

you cousin being famous caused your wife and daughters  to be murdered

that favourite kitten i accidently killed all those years ago, buried by the path

it was sitting or asleep on top of the tyre and i reversed over it when it fell off

now i reverse a fraction then stop so any cats or kittens can get out of the way

but it doesn’t bring the kitten back, none of the others since even approach it

joanna lumley  reads  walter de la mare’s poem  “ the listeners ”

i think using pot for sleep is acceptable, but you really need to get the sleep, diet and supplements sorted out so you don’t need pot

getting true folate in the diet from leafy green vegetables etc helps as does supplemental taurine

folic acid which may also be labelled as folate i find doesn’t help or may even be antagonistic

mansur al-hallaj seems to have lived remarkably long, all things  considered

a  quote

i saw my lord with the eye of the heart

i asked   :  who are you ?

he replied   :  you

my  comment

i would have replied  “ sorta you, sorta not ”  in that last line

sense is simply nonsense minus  ‘ non ‘

if you can do one, you can do the other

one would hope

many people look to the net for what it won’t give directly which is money

indirectly is a different case

the sort of reading i have done, readers of this blog won’t be able to do simply because it takes too much time

you are being defensive and in this context there is nothing to defend

why not give the sham a miss ?

all the insanity of the third reich was  condensed  in the last weeks/days in the bunker, i notice the neo-nazis are quite and i guess knowingly ignorant of what went on

yuja wang, martin grubinger et al with a  masterful  playing of libertango

virginia woolf

timeline  in photographs

this is one of the experiences i have had here this summer, a conciousness of what i call   “ reality ”

something abstract but residing in the downs or sky beside which nothing matters, in which  i shall rest  and continue to exist

reality i call it and i fancy sometimes this is the most necessary thing to me

but who knows, once one takes a pen and writes, how difficult to not go making reality this and that whereas it is one thing

now perhaps this is my gift, this perhaps distinguishes me from other people

monk’s house

yuja wang   playing  robert schumann’s  “ the smuggler ”

answer me this, why are some people male and others female ?

you can’t can you ?

“ apparently joko beck dealt with her excitable students getting their first  “ enlightenment experience ”  by only giving them sixty seconds to tell her about it

then she would say something like,  “ great !  so anyways, how are you getting along with your family/coworkers ? ” ” 

my  comment

joko had a lot of flaws as a teacher, i think she was wrong about that

essentially she should be able to deconstruct their experiences and point out their errors because its extremely rare for the experiences to be genuine

interview has its place but its way overused

cataract replacement lenses need to be positioned well to be successful, but its six weeks before they get fibrosed and fixed in position permanently, so really you want to avoid jolts and knocks or rubbing the eyes and pressing on them

surprisingly cataracts offer one positive feature which is protecting the eye from high energy blue light, so in my opinion wearing sunglasses in bright sunlight should be considered

the first cataract operation is easy and replacing the artificial lens in the couple of weeks after before it fibroses can also be done, but years out the operation of replacing the artificial lens again is much more problematic, that’s the big snag

inherent error

its the nature of existance

its always going to be that way

one generation gets something right

for the next generation




you are in contradiction in your need for contact with me and your disagreement with my views

if people profoundly disagree with me to the extent you do, i do not attempt to contact them

diabetes patients often have cognitive difficulties because of their disease, you have to be careful of taking them at their word

“ as a british person, i must say, I’ve never heard of the word  ‘ lickspittle ’  (ed.  american)

its more a phrase here down in the antipodes, sucking up, arse licking, brown arsing

the difference between r|zen and zen_mystical

r|zen are basically suburban materialists with their husband/wife/child lifestyle of bullshit

they regard the celibacy of historical zen as accidental, but its not

brad warner gives  a good talk  on the mystical side, i don’t know why he wastes his time with buddhism

brad, the reality is that genuine experiences such as your  “ bridge experience ”  hardly ever occur, the vast majority of zen masters today have not had it happen to them, they are stuck with some facsimile which is why the whole scene is so stupid and crazy

i don’t actually think you can believe in such a possibility until it happens to you, i certainly didn’t

but once the doors open a lot of the experiences continue to happen over the years and really for me have only recently dropped off, which perhaps is advancing age or having basically worked it out satisfactorily

it first happened to me as a child, then during a zen retreat and once it happened the whole zen scene reacted strongly against me so i eventually left, plus i could see they were all talking complete crap with no idea it was crap

a way of looking at it is what i call  “ being the other side of suicide ” ,  its sorta like you are depressed beyond suicide, you see what life is about and its interesting and worth living so despite being very depressed in outlook which is how things actually are, you are not suicidal

as i said only one in millions ever gets there

the insane religious

five christs in a room each arguing they are the real christ

the script writer laughs

and crucifies them all

the religious insane

five christs in a room each arguing they are the real christ

the script writer laughs

and crucifies them all


five christs in a room each arguing they are the real christ

the script writer laughs

and crucifies them all

chingetti ,  constantly being built away from the encroaching sand with a library of islamic texts dating back to the 13th century

 what does time say ?

there’s any number of bimbo actresses and actors, addled scriptwriters and mediocre directors

then there’s maud lewis and jenny joseph

not glamorous and not well known

one group is insane and the other is not

“ as queer  (ed. strange)  as a clockwork orange ”

cockney slang expression

a rather lovely  rendition  of peer gynt complemented by the intensity of the sincere young instrumentalists

yet to become jaded

  cook  at his best  in an interview with michael parkinson

the fluidity of katherine’s french and the conversion between english and french in act three, scene four of the history of  ‘ henry V ’  fits very well with sir henry neville being the ambassador in france and not at all well with southern england born, bred and lived william shakespeare

its interersting to contrast  emma thompson  and  judi dench  as actresses

there’s no menace quite equal to a writer’s workshop

incompetents taught to read and write badly tossed with drug or alcohol abuse and satyrism

i understand the point stephen fry  is making here ,  there really is no context against which you can say a life is  “ right ”  or not as if its anyone else’s business

however i think from   cook’s point of view he was required to row against the current ,  ie his alcoholism

alcoholism and drug abuse is a slow maladaptive form of suicide

when i post or write about people i am careful not libel them, but otherwise i pretty much don’t hold back

what i never do is tell them they are in my on-line writings, they just get upset and make a lot of pointless fuss as if that sort of response can ever go anywhere

apparently you are back from somewhere but have picked up pleurisy ?

i have contact with a friend in new york and he says its bad season for these sort of viruses and effects

every morning when i get up i do lymph moving exercises since lymph  (basically immune system fluids)  is only pumped around the body by movement

something that will help the chest is to do a sort of a hum so you can feel the resonance in the chest

what this does is activate the immune system there

also you can  “ hum ”  to resonate the nasal cavities for the same effect

lymph movement is pretty much any body movement as that pumps the lymph around, arm movements, squats etc

humming to resonate the nasal passages is a bit different in that it activates the immune system

i find an open mouthed resonance works best for the lungs, you can definitely feel the lungs vibrating

the two most recent plane crashes with a lot killed have been very new planes with a design problem  :  the 737-max is intrinsically unstable in flight from the engines being mounted too high

they hoped to counter the instability with software, but didn’t test the software fully for all sensor failure circumstances

jason  writes

“ a loud voice versus a quiet one

there are advantages to both, the quiet one being you save more energy ”

this was from a dream, maybe just a couple minutes before waking up, so yeah i figured it wasn’t really there but

my  comment

dreams can be a bit random as to whether they are on the nail or not, actually they only rarely are

jason  replies

i think i’m lacking meditation/contemplation, now that i drive an hour a day for work i just don’t feel like driving to the park on my days off

my  reply

you have to keep up relevant reading and videos which i think has always been a weak point for you, i am finding jenny joseph good value

you really need to keep up quality reading if you want to become a  “ guru ”

now i think about it, i found that homily useful, it seeded several homilies for me so it must be authentic

jason, i think your recent homilies are lacking the usual depth, not quite worked through or sorted out enough, a bit glib so to speak

male and female, each looking for what they are not

i have been years on the net, i have seen so much crazy bullshit i am reluctant to deal with almost anyone now

the problem with life is the absolutely amazing amount of energy put in the wrong places

you cannot take yourself seriously if you read poetry and philosophy

for the poet is sceptical of feelings and the philosopher argues for moral relativity

the mystical element in jane austen’s  ‘ persuasion ’  is the recovery of something from the destructive trauma of the earlier break up

catherine tate  singing   “ the ballad of barry and freda ”

not unusually, better than victoria woods’ own performance imo, since writers rarely give the best performance of their work

people who call themselves teachers of whatever are in my experience, the people least suited to do it

people who mistreat animals must be insane because a mistreated animal is no fun

religion condenses insanity and stupidity into itself

religion condenses insanity and stupidity

there’s a million idiots to argue with out there and guess what ?

the net brings them to your door

there’s a million idiots to argue with out there and guess what ?

the net brings them all to your door

i have hardly ever eaten caviar, this  video  shows how it is grown

i don’t think its appreciated how much emily dickinson was informed through the irish appreciation of the literary through her friend and family servant maggie maher

camille paglia  says  that one of the reasons for the dominance of an inane post structuralism today is all the academics of her generation who pickled their minds with psychedelics literally got taken out of circulation leaving a type of intellectual vacuum into which identity politics and anti-aesthetic modern art have fallen and these inanities have gained cultural control especially of the education system

“ lsd on the one hand opened doors for them to walk through, but on the other it sorta closed behind them ”

the  full talk

at one stage i visited a lot of zen centers and teachers and honestly, zen is a bit of an illusion, the world is wider than zen with its people who in general seem to be composed of the narrow minded and rather stupid and schizophrenic

lawyers are always bottomless money pits

anyone who claims to be a zen teacher wants their head examined and most of them do

not many people ,  i suspect when you get down to it there’s not many hard core followers of bentinho massaro

its the usual married with kids and promiscuity neo-advaita bullshit

he is an intelligent schizophrenic, most people can see that

“ people who have obesity and diabetes have higher rates of  cognitive impairment  as they age and most of the related structural changes are in the hippocampus, a center of learning and memory

fat is a source of inflammation and there is evidence that reducing chronic inflammation in the brain helps prevent obesity-related memory loss

an interesting dynamic between the women and the director  chanya button  has her head screwed on the right way

an  interview  with her

lars von trier is an alcoholic and its all caught up with him

jesus christ  way  too violent  to watch

terry gilliam at 78 is too old to make good movie and  “ the man who killed don quixote ”  is a failure for several reasons, the principle one being the script

“ i was at the gas station late last night, one that is pretty popular, well lit

this car pulled up with three younger guys in it, obviously up to no good, some sort of criminals

i had my knife on me but it was still intimidating, i think steve will sometimes carry his gun on him

i think i’m going to ask my father to sign the pistol license again, remember i asked him last year before he left for czechoslovakia

i don’t really need him to sign it, i could forge his signature but i am going to keep the gun in the house ”

don’t forge the signature and you would be better without pistol

if you shoot some-one its always big trouble with the law and the friends and relatives of the person you shot

“ up to no good ”  still doesn’t mean a problem for you

“ i just feel that i’m going to need a gun eventually and i’d rather learn how to use it sooner rather than later

i don’t necessarily expect to ever use it on someone ”

you are not thinking straight on the gun issue, could you be trusted to never use it in anger for instance ?

“ there are pistols in the house and i never really considered using one ”

solvents go straight to the brain through the lungs plus are carcinogenic

wit in a man may be like a man

but wit in a woman is unnatural

wit in a woman may be like a woman

but wit in a man is unnatural

i think emma and   persuasion  were jane austen’s happier and more meaningful alternative universes

deeply misguided  kenneth branagh et al

this is abstracted, but i think the undercurrent of marxism is about the wasted human potential that employment enforces

when i look at films and plays what gets the least work is the most important part, the script

complete nonsense is left hanging there to be filled in by the other parts of production, actors, acting and sets

way stations

an oasis in an arabian desrt

the new century  cafe  at the minsk railway station

journeys interrupted

like any airport or transit

way stations

an oasis in an arabian desrt

the new century  cafe  at the minsk railway station

journeys interrupted

like any airport or transit

way stations

an oasis in an arabian desrt

a cafe in minsk

journeys interrupted

like any airport or transit

“ karma ”  is some nonsense notion, buddhist stupidity

“ what is gender ? ”

what is gender in relation to you ?

“ who am i ? ”

well you ask because you don’t know

if you knew then you wouldn’t ask

so much of the web is schziophrenics seeking validation for their nonsense

who do you think you are fooling mr. fake and pretender ?

why read my writing ?

go away

ed.  these people trying to muscle in on my space with their bullshit are very upsetting

i saw it endlessly when i was working in electronics, you train a guy up, then when he becomes useful he leaves, small business owners balk at training people for good reason

i wouldn’t reference slavoj žižek or jordan  son, they are   “ married with kids ”  and so locked into continuity and hence really can’t  ever  “ get it ”

i wouldn’t reference slavoj žižek or jordan  son, they are   “ married with kids ”  and really don’t  “ get it ”

the root of  “ scripturalism ” is not scripturalism per se but schizophrenia

that’s because when what they say and think doesn’t accord with  “ the scriptures ”  they wriggle around the scriptural meaning in favour of their own

witness ronin saying that what was really meant was opposite to what was said

he takes this foyan quingyuan  quote

“ there is nothing in my experience that is not true.  if there were anything at all untrue, how could i presume to guide others ?  as for you, obviously there is something not true; that is why you come to someone to find certainty  .  . ”

and ronin’s comment is that  “ there’s an  (ed.  intentional)  lie right there in the first sentence of the quote that i shared ”

because his  (ronin’s)  views are that everything is relative, ie he is a relativist, there is no   “ final cause ”  therefore foyan must be lying if he says  “ everything is true ”  and therefore not relative

if people disagree with you too profoundly, its completely unproductive to argue

“ real ”  is one form of being, there are others as or more valid

woodrail  writes

but the point of  “ zazen ”  is what you do with your awareness

you watch carefully, you watch phenomena arise and fall, and you watch your awareness.  and when invitations to move your awareness here or there arise, you decline the invitation.  you keep your cool

my  reply

are your ideas of yourself inside or outside  “ awareness ”

if as you claim, ideas about yourself are inside awareness then in your terms you have the lesser prescribing the greater

fuck, i couldn’t write this on r|zen, i would get a heap of replies telling me its not a valid question when in fact it highlights the essential mistake they all make

i really feel that  “ zazen ”  is essentially  “ instructionless ”  which of course is the solipsistic reality

i have no objection to dreams but there certainly are points at which they can fuck a life up, yet not followed enough will also fuck a life up

fiction can be a dream but actually its a sort of rendering of abstract principles  “ in the flesh ”  so to speak, so to read or view quality that educates as well as entertains is important

i have learnt to understand stupidity as an active process with the careful discarding of anything of sense

the world is not a passive failure, but  “ full steam ahead ”  into idiocy

when i was young, my parents had at least one of the volumes  (justine and clea?)  of  ‘ the alexandria quartet ’  in the bookshelf, i may have only ever read a page or two of it, but it has always held a mystique for me of some far away and very strange foreign place that acutally i was completely  at home in

the obvious answer is shakespeare never had  a library  but sir henry neville did

“ can you unban me on  zen_mystical  ? ”

i’ve unbanned you, but really the tone is quite different from r|zen, i don’t want to get dragged down in fighting

its just people conversing reasonably and not all the pretentious crap that goes on on r|zen

why do some people feel their shortfalls and others not ?

some blind in their hubrisness sweep through untroubled by reflection

i am not of that breed

rather endlessly self defeated by my own intellect

i meander on

edvard grieg  —  peer gynt suite no. 1, op. 46 :  morning mood   —   with a good  slideshow  of landscape paintings

its not amongst the attractive

its not amongst the unattractive







i think there’s something to mushrooms  as neuroprotective  and preventative of dementia

a quote from the teaching material of dahui in thomas cleary’s translation  “ treasury of the eye of true teaching ”

master langya jiao said to an assembly, my late teacher composed a verse :

three mysteries, three essentials  —  the actualities are hard to differentiate

when you get the meaning, forget the words

and the way is easy to approach

when one statement is clear, it includes myriad forms

on the ninth day of the ninth month, chrysanthemums bloom anew

[shouting once, langya said]  which mystery is this ?

[after a long pause, he said]  you are infinitely sorry, and i too am infinitely sorry

a monk asked, “ what is buddha ? ”

langya said, “ bronze head, iron forehead ”

the monk replied, “ i don’t understand ”

langya said, “ bird’s beak, fish’s gills ”

my re-translation

the religious

a bad patchwork

of what


be understood




the religious

a bad patchwork

of what


be understood




the talented insane

the untalented insane

the insane

i don’t give a fig for the notre dame

its a sort of craziness

let it burn

so much

wasted time



some things become less bitter with time



some things become less bitter with time

others don’t

cinderella  (2015)

all that production money, skill ,  sets  and actors and a lousy script

you can construct worlds


is best


for the


you can go out of this world

 where to ?




there’s just a few words difference between sanity and insanity

as you get older your sense of life direction gets messed, the only saving grace is how it was so messed in the first place

as you get older your sense of life direction gets messed, the only saving grace is how it was messed in the first place

as you get older your sense of direction gets messed, the only saving grace is how it was messed in the first place

sometimes i feel really confused  then everything just crystallizes out

the problem that good drivers have as they get older is their reaction times slow down and their judgment is more error prone, but they don’t make allowances and still drive like they are twenty

louis rossmann  at his best

the kingdom of  lo ,  real life sci-fi

i started out writing this science fiction story, three lines and that’s it, dried up or rather abstracted away to nothing

i suppose i could make a story out of it, populate with characters, action, a plot, i don’t even feel  “ ẃhy bother ” ,  i guess just another another potential interest that will never materialise

“ a vast double storied building stretches out in spokes for as far as the eye can see, it is full of books from all the religions of all the universes capable of giving rise to religion and given the indeterminancy of this, entire wings could phase in and out of existance giving librarianship an unusual degree of hazard

each floor is full top to bottom of books and digital records with special provision to accommodate   “ documents ”  from other universes

why such an institution existed was unknown and much speculated on, but salaries were paid, command structures existed, memorial services held for librarians arbitrarily circumscribed from their lives and so on

the institution was called  “ halls of meaninglessness ” ”

you really don’t get a feel for the insanity of life just by living

entitled people have a homing instinct for competent depressives to latch onto to support their grandiose illusions

jason  writes

if they don’t laugh, they don’t get it

“ i hate my life ” 

people who write that are histrionic and phoney

“ i hate my life ” 

people who write that are phoney and histrionic

i’m not famous, but i seem to get this succession of toxic idiots obsessed with me and who make pests of themselves effectively telling how wrong i am and how right their ill thought out stupidity is

its a wide world, why are they singling me out ?

these people are hubric x retarded, not capable of enertaining even a single doubt about themselves, yet they are drawn to my writing for an unexamined reason

if i lived in the usa i would be worrying about my safety

the gandhari texts bear out that buddha was an historical fiction, there is no convergence like what might be expected from an authentic historical person, but what you have in fact is a religious cultural  “ wiki ”

“ As scholars scrutinized the Gandhari texts, however, they saw that history didn’t work that way at all, Richard Salomon said.  It was a mistake to assume that the foundation of Buddhist textual tradition was singular, that if you followed the genealogical branches back far enough into the past they would eventually converge.  Traced back in time, the genealogical branches diverged and intertwined in such complex relationships that the model of a tree broke down completely.  The picture looked more like a tangled bush, he reported.

Here is where I clicked Rewind: these newly found manuscripts, he declared, strike the coup de grâce to a traditional conception of Buddhism’s past that has been disintegrating for decades.  It is now clear that none of the existing Buddhist collections of early Indian scriptures  —  not the Pali, Sanskrit, Chinese, nor even the Gandhari  —  “ can be privileged as the most authentic or original words of the Buddha ” ”

my  comment

these crazy apologists who so carefully  step over  the obvious conclusion

louis rossmann’s new landlord paid too much for their building

a commenter writes

Doing a quick search, your landlord bought the property you're in for 14.25 mil last year.  If they have a commercial mortgage, they are paying around 60k-70k a month.  Judging by the listings for the apartments of around $3,500 a month x 8 + whatever you pay, they are bringing in around 400k - the 40k in property taxes which comes out to 360k a year.

It doesn't take a genius to see they are losing roughly 400k a year.  Even if they didn't use a loan, at 360k a year in "profit" plus yearly increases  —  maintenance and upkeep , it will take decades to make it back which is a bad investment.  Obviously the investors are betting on values to continue to rise which is a safe bet for Manhattan, but not a guarantee, or they are using it as a tax write off because of the loss.  Either way, in the mean time, they are most likely losing quite a bit of money.

louis  complains  about the landlords

“ I asked the real estate behemoth that purchased my building about heat around December/January, when the gas was turned off and it was 7F in my office.  They ignored us for a week before finally bringing us some $20 space heaters that don't work longer than 10 minutes at a time with the shit building electricity.

I asked repeatedly if we could rent the abandoned, derelict candy store next door: even if it cost 10-40% more than the $5k/mo or so the last tenant were paying, and offered to renovate it at my cost along with my own space to be "better looking than an Apple store."

They ignored me for weeks.Then they get back to me with an "opportunity", and offer me a space that is 1.5 times the size, for the low low price of... $27,000.  Said $27k space requires renovation.

I can't tell if they are trolling.  And I am blowing off some well needed steam when I say this, fuck the people who own my building ” 

an interesting  video  on new york being a trap to live in

for sure its really messed with drug taking

life is an infinite tapestry, woven by who ?

it weaves itself

or does it ?

life is an interesting tapestry, not quite self-similar, yet with similar themes and happenings, all illusorily presenting

life is an interesting tapestry, not quite self-similar, yet with similar themes and happenings, all illusionary

sasha luss playing anna poliatova is  super competent

jenny joseph’s more sedate take on it  1:31

its easier to write or reply in clichés than address real issues isn’t it ?

the last word on r|zen

it used to be community owned, its now privately owned and the mods use ewk to enforce the version of zen they prefer

it works, they now have a cryingly dumbed down clinically schizophrenic sub reddit

jason, at your age its hard to appreciate how unending knowledge and experience is, at my age i can see i am just starting

an interesting combination, elizabeth jane howard  interviews  evelyn waugh

i wonder if druggies are so entitled because they are used to getting a massive easy effect for almost no work at all

fuck you tim burton ,  ‘ alice in wonderland ’  and  ‘ alice through the looking glass ’  as written by lewis carroll are not  information theoretic  constructs but actual living worlds

look you have just learnt to write bullshit and apparently have no interest in upgrading your game

the extent to which zen and this meditation shit is just nonsense hasn’t begun to dawn on you

ed.  he just kept up the bullshit so i banned him, in response he deleted his replies

my  comment

the tender flower was  “ whatnowis ” ,  yet another pusillanimous samurai who at one touch of the vorpal blade disappears

how these crap artists can bear to live buried up to their mouths in shit i do not know, but of course r|zen is a testimony to that ilk

an ugly old man or an ugly old woman what’s the difference ?

an ugly old woman or an ugly old man what’s the difference ?

reporters and interviewers are second-rate intellects

n a y

third in a lot of cases

its odd you can write good poetry almost immediately, but it takes twenty years of constant writing to write good prose

apprentices outgrow the situation when they start so they always leave when skilled

if you get too tired you can’t think straight





there’s something about insanity and schizophrenia and the way it  ‘ nests ’  in entitlement and vanity

the greatness of  ‘ great writing ’  is the ability to use ambiguity to hit more than one base

the greatness of  ‘ great writing ’  is using ambiguity to hit more than one base

when i look at  “ one flew over the cuckoo nest ”  again after seeing it in my early twenties, i have a different take on it now

randle is in fact schizophrenic because he is unable to identify how dangerous the institution is, he has the  “ insanity ”   of normality  and he is in a highly abnormal place, so bizarre its like fiction, kafkasque

normality is schizophrenic and only doesn’t appear so because it enforces the world in its image, if you get outside that, you see the schizophrenia

“ what are y’alls thoughts on pursuing a chick/guy, which ever you’re in to ,  that has one or multiple kids and she’s single ”

jason replies

just realize a woman’s child will be way more important to her than a boyfriend or husband will ever be

how does a story differ from reality

one wonders

you can’t shake insanity just like that, its part of your memory

i’m stepping into insanity

you can’t unstep

the insanity is



all you can do











i’m stepped into insanity

you can’t unstep

the insanity is



all you can do











jenny joseph thinks like me

rather than read a million other drivelling idiots

i can read her

jenny joseph thinks like me

rather than read another million drivelling idiots

i can read her


jenny joseph thinks like me

rather than read another million idiots

i can read her

i’ve been going to town so infrequently i completely missed easter, not even a hint

how did i do that ?


what do you bring to the table ?

its not a willingness to learn

its not a willingness to think for yourself

you bring an entitled sense of reality

rigid poorly thought out ideas

an aggressive  “ i’m right ”  attitude

and you wonder why i want you to go away


social media is just another form of publishing, and like publishing there is very little money in it for most


a beef, bacon and cheese pie

the infinite sea

clouds stretched to the horizon

late afternoon

wonderful light

feeding seagulls with the pastry




the old experience the dissonance between what was and what is now, so have a question about it, but the young who only know now have no question

you are a known quality to yourself, but to people who don’t know you, you are unknown

kaizen   :   the principle that successive small improvements are likely to be more fruitful than big ones

through the small evolutions you get a better feel for the dymanic of the entity you are trying to improve

when you read at news you are in fact not reading the actual event or situation but the reporter’s interpretation of it

if you are eating a lot of fish, you want to eat smaller ones, the larger the fish the more they accumulate heavy metals, shark and sailfish are of course notorious

strong sunlight on the skin is a traditional treatment for jaundice.  basically its part of the blue spectrum that photoisomerizes the bilirubin

interestingly green  can reverse  the isomerization

are you writing from inside the psychward, or outside it ?

prose writing must have a more casual attitude to words rather than poetry with its magical alignments

its so hard to go to town and try to eat properly

here, up in the hills, i have a neighbours apples and peaches, wild rosehips over the fence, home grown frozen raspberries, various bits of wallaby, i eat like a king for almost free, not even the most expensive restaurant comes within a cooee

in town, toxic additives in the endless array of of baked and fried products, restaurant meals with undercooked veges and tough meat

what world am i in where food and competent nutrition are so misalinged ?

unusual in hollywood, a marriage that lasted   :   joanne woodward and paul newman, you can see how  comfortable  they are with each other and joanne is an intelligent sensible woman

these persistent  dumb arses  up themselves are why open forums like r|zen become pits of insanity

that is why r|zen_mystical has banned most of r|zen

apparently people like this are not unusual in arizona

recording is a form of publishing, so there’s definitely going to be a different attitude compared to casual conversation

recording is a form of publishing, so there’s definitely going to be a different attitude to casual conversation

organ donations from the living are for the mentally ill

the biggest mistake  of his life and look at the sanctimonious public face

solipism says hang onto what you have got, being alive is such a weird improbability and so unique its worthwhile staying around as long as possible and in as good as heath as possible, fuck the world and its communal needs

so i had a vision of the cheshire cat

it opened its mouth and the back of its throat was a starry sky and swallowed me up

what was the cheshire cat ?

i asked her if she was  “ all right ”  and she replied  “ i'm often wrong ”


so on

jenny joseph   reading   “ man in a bar ”   “ this little old lady i meet ”   “ watching a child watching a witch ”

“ she makes a track going here and there

inhabitant ”

i’m not really interested in jordan  son, he’s not up to my level

none of them are

i wouldn’t even say they are close

how is a religion like a TV show ?

thy both completely fuck up your perception of reality

actresses  :  pretty young women with fried eggs for brains

notions of good, bad and evil are all context dependent

the whole problem with r|zen is there are people on it with extreme mental illness, but because its writing and on the web its difficult to pick up how extreme it is

couples have a personality as a couple, different couples have different personalites

writers need experience with extreme mental illness

otherwise you will never get a feeling for just how crazy the world is while simultaneously being in complete denial of it

if you are writing you need some experience with extreme mental illness

r|zen has been that for me and if you look for it in other writers you can often find it like karl ove knausgård working in a real life pyschward

janet frame’s incarceration in mental hospitals  (she was not mentally ill)

virginia woolf’s double act as periodically becoming mentally ill

and so on

its not a mild dealing but punishing

jason  writes

i disconnected my car battery and when i reconnected it, the car radio asked for a code to get it going again

honda makes it difficult to get the code to prevent theft i guess

well i just don’t care to put in the effort to get the radio going again, i sort of prefer it off completely

the rose of death

so hard to understand

beauty  weeps

the living go on

temporarily released from blindness

so the rose of death

hard to understand

beauty  weeps

the living go on

temporarily released from blindness

interviewers seem to have hang-ups and blinkers that place them at a disadvantage with the interviewee, authors and entertainment industry types who are their intellectual superiors

countries are just an idea

we are all strange to one another

some seeming co-incidence of time, place, genetics, familiarity



i’ve thought about writing a novel, can’t say i’ve tried, but i have too strong a tendency to abstract

david hockney  comments on  vincent van gogh

its interesting that david lacks vincents literary abilites

 the accidental bullet from that hoodlums pistol   .   .   .

one of the problems with message boards/subreddits is inept moderation subtly distorts and determines content so you need to be wary and if you are banned then you can’t really escape getting your sense of reality screwed up by the distortion if you continue to read

so since i am now banned from r|zen for thirty days, i will also stop reading to avoid that distortion and in fact will stop reading from now on permanently, the subreddit has become a literal dumb ass psychward

but generally when you in censored situations you have to be very very careful and questioning of content

even ordinary social interaction is subject to this

zen is not  “ scriptualism ”

all the phoney quotes with phoney commentary

pure spew by retards

of course if you call the phonies you get deleted, eh mods ?

the phonies never get deleted

how pathetic these  “ scriptualists ”  are, spewing nonsense as meaning

they can’t front up with any understanding

who do they think they are fooling ?

lack of contradiction speaks very loud

you must be blind or stupid not to see how the r|zen forum presents now, a rabbening gabbel like nowhere else

“ the food additive tert-butylhydroquinone (tBHQ) ,  found in many common products from frozen meat to crackers and fried foods  suppresses  the immune response the body mounts when fighting the flu ”

as far as i can see, most commercially used frying oils have tBHQ in

jura is  very senic ,  i don’t wonder at george orwell living there, though the climate must have played havoc with his tuberculosis

wow, its decades since i had contact with these  talented  suicidal young women, i wouldn’t like to hazard a guess as who was alive and who not

web publishing is rather weird compared to the old publication system with its many months or even years of delays, now all can be written up and published within five minutes as this very comment is

another thing i like is no editors saying you can’t write this or that

however you have to do the editing function yourself, but it is manageable

“ who is the audience ? ”

i don’t know, its not very big

the health related part of my website  (the  biofilm carbohydrate diet  and compendium)  gets way more views

writing for entertainment is different and my writing is not like that, its sorta nietzschean/ jenny joseph

the way i do things is it doesn’t cost me anything except my own time  (which actually is a huge cost)

you have to write for yourself and be confident of the quality of what you are writing

“ i’m not gonna lie, your site is like having a stroke  —  i mean that in the best way possible.  why do you do what you do ? ”

is it like having a stroke ?

i would suspect you not interested in the subject matter and its quite demanding in terms of reading age

i used to have quite an active presence in the message board health scene for parents of children with developmental problems, but now i just update my views and web information with the latest research as it occurs

a man cannot be good at both fighting and wit

she’s a woman  ,  their minds all run on the same rails

she’s a woman  ,  their minds run the same

she’s a woman  ,  their minds run pretty much the same

the gullible cling to their views like ivy to a wall

a very good  production  of   “ much ado about nothing ”

economical use of costumes and set for what can be very expensive

david tennant as benedict and catherine tate as beatrice from dr. who

the big lebowski

a cult film for idiots, the intellectualy impaired and outright retarded

jason writes

religious organizations will help the poor, but will only continue to do so if they believe the religious bullshit

you can’t make a psychward nice

junk is useful to deconstruct because it shows you the mechanisms of reality highlighted in failure

but you don’t want to embed it


the hidden behind the sanctimonious bullshit of some religious

postmodernism is extreme relativism

i’m not an extreme relativist

r|zen is full of the gullible

the blue cliff record, the mumonkam, all fake news and the idiots treat them as real

“ most broadly, there appears to be a general tendency for people engage in what we call ‘ reflexive open-mindedness ’  —  they are overly willing to accept or believe a wide variety of claims without thinking analytically about them. This makes them prone to falling for fake news ,  pseudo - profound bullshit ,  and presumably a large class of other types of deceptive or simply false claims ”

because the jobs you are going for are low paid, its interesting how much the travel time impacts on the financial viability of the job, this factor works in your favour

i still can’t believe all the pizza delivery drivers effectively paying to be employed, they are not factoring in their total vehicle costs

voynich   =   pseudo - profound  bullshit

you can see julius ceasar’s strategic genius in his  conquest  of northern gaul

it was, of course the romans who killed him and there is some possibility brutus was his own son

“ what is the sound of one hand clapping ? ”

what is the sound of words spoken without a tongue ?

any retard can do this crap

a substantial portion of people on web message boards are only interested in  “ missionizing ”  their opinions as though its effective in some way

coherence and understanding they discard as either being too much work or the notion is completely beyond them

its so simple, you use the posting to extend your knowledge and understanding, but people seem unable to do that, instead they have a siege mentality of defending their positions, but historically sieges usually result in the town being sacked

today i have a migraine

last night i shot a wallaby

a young female

it always seems to happen this way

a shot though the spine

i waited for her to die, it took a while

while crossing the stream lugging her across

the eyes moved

plainly she was alive but seemed serene and didn’t struggle

would you struggle with your spine blasted in two ?

on the other side i slit her throat

death was quick

and here am i complaining about migraine

today i have a migraine

last night i shot a wallaby

it always seems to happen this way

a young female

shot though the spine

i waited for her to die, it took a while

while crossing the stream lugging her across

the eyes moved

plainly she was alive but seemed serene and didn’t struggle

would you struggle with your spine blasted in two ?

on the other side i slit her throat

death was quick

and here am i complaining about migraine

everything happens



the timings bad

late, of the wrong kind and not at all

l i f e

lacking the ability to express

they express


i think a novel is just some basic poetic ideas fleshed out into a reality people can understand and relate to

i think a novel is just some basic poetic ideas fleshed out into a reality people can understand

the most interesting thing about being a writer is going from the imagination to the real, from the unseen to the seen

how is a flooded BMW like a damaged woman

steve  explains

sounds like it might be practical experience

“ one day she’s going to turn her face onto you and you are going to see the devil in her eyes ”

poetically put !

all the wannabe cinderellas

dustbins for carriages


an ugly sister

cut feet, cut heads

cut hands

circumambulating about the ballroom with the blood soaked floor

come midnight

the cruel fanasty is real

this poem came to mind after watching  this ,  a dark version, but the image of the  reversion  of the carriage, dress and horses made an impact and the poem came almost immediately

the con artist talks to himself

they fool themselves as often as others

one should be sceptical about religions because they are stories and stories are untrue

take them too literally and they will fuck you up bigtime

happens a lot today, but its hard to beat the crusades

i think there’s so much insincerity in modern life, appearances trying to present themselves as reality

does nonsense become sense ?

how long have you been confusing bullshit with meaning ?

everything you do sucks because you are unable to take on board criticism in a productive way

eihei dogen is very poorly translated because the philology done is non-existant

people translate him according to the semantics of modern japanese

so weird, you think the  “ nansen cut the cat in half ”  story is historically real

repeat to yourself one million times

i must not take fairy tales as being real

the world of the psychward has no barrier between inside and outside

there’s no memory in the sea

everything just occurs, the waves crashing breakers and foam

vast stretches silvered or glinting in the sun

a heaving in swells

tides that go in and out indistinguishably

the land however is different

marked and marking

history is seen

a background for lives to appear and disappear on

both are wearing

you can’t get away and go to nothing

because there is always something

 how fearful is the jabberwocky ?

the vorpal faded

it became a

conventional monster

lewis chased little girls




what i write is  “ outsider art ” ,  i don’t give a fig about audience

“ mia wasikowska, helena bonham carter and anne hathaway have fun  interviewing  each other about tim burton’s movie  “ alice in wonderland ” ”

honestly women are not that different, it could be a discussion amongst my female relatives and their friends

some good lines by james k. baxter

still the great symbols stand

the mountains and the sky

commune beyond our day

and breaks on shores of pain

the unimagined sea

my  reply

the breaking shores of pain

the imagined sea

the clouds, mountains







biofilms exposed to the enzyme/probiotic mix were looser-knit communities that were overall   thinner and weaker  than untreated biofilms

i think with  werner herzog ’s  “ aguirre ,  the wrath of god ”  the film became some sort of real life identity with itself, a surrendipitous blend of the plot with the sheer difficulty and the problems of making it

hakuin  ekaku  doesn’t reach  van gogh prices for sure

in the overwhelming complexity of life how do you get an effective simplicity ?

stick to quality and only have contact with the moronic masses to the extent you need to understand their stupidity and wilful blindness

the simplicity is dense and the complexity is vapour

its hard to conceive of five thousand years passing with so little change, one drawing can be done  over another

the views later in the documentary on neanderthals are dated

when men write, its the women who commit suicide, even on the written page men can’t see past their egotistical vanity

when men write, its the women who commit suicide, even on the written page they can’t see past their egotistical vanity

ever tempted to connect what you say with something of import ?

i wonder if really good writing is to create a reality more interesting than this one ?

you can sorta see van and ada’s mother and father in this 1907 nabakov  family photo ,  even marina’s dog

a monk asked joshu   :   what is that which is sacred ?

he replied   :   a puddle of piss in the pure land

the monk retorted   :   please show me

joshu replied   :   don’t tempt me

joshu actually sounds like a real person who knows what he is on about, none of the others do

amongst the million million of pretenders, a genuine prophet

a man of more insight would understand that he was upset and why

the problem of multilingualism is being caught between two langauges you lose quite bit of both languages and end up with a degree of synthesis between them, not a desirable feature at all

honestly, a language is just a language

there’s nothing sacred about it, only convenience and learning cost

you’re a fantasist, rolling in your own shit 

you’re a fantasist, rolling in your own bullshit

you overbelieve the stories you tell

you are telling stories to yourself and believing them

i’m not saying there’s not some substance to the stories, but all the same you overbelieve them

why ?

you overbelieve the stories you tell

why ?

you overbelieve the stories you tell

‘ kundalini ’  is bullshit, neurological misinterpretation at best

the term is made up, it doesn’t exist even as a neurological misinterpretation, however   “ makyo ”  is used to describe the  “ neurological misinterpretations ”  during zazen/meditation

hindu is polished at con artistry

doesn’t take much with people who want to be conned though

paedophilic temple prostitution was its historical foundation

usual peasant society, what do we do with unwanted girls

i think a lot of the current western involvement in hindu is hidden paedophilic, the catholic church has become unfashionable and obvious

maybe once these girls would have been killed if not for the temple prostitution

there’s the true world and fantastical worlds

how much harder is the true world to bear ,  yet fantastical worlds are too insubstantial to have any weight to be borne in the first place

charisma is necessarily empty

a mirage of the obviation of loneliness that is in fact lonely since there is nobody there

charisma is necessarily empty

helena bonham carter is in a bit of a different class  of thinker  to the usual actors and actresses

and a brilliant  public speaker

helena reading poems ,  i quite like  jenny joseph

if you think anything ever adds up, the rules of arithmetic never cover the ground

i’m getting quite žižekean

the core of dr. who is the relationship between the doctor and the companion

its keatsian

“ the feel of not to feel it 

 was never said in rhyme ”

and of course that time traveller,  ‘ ode on a grecian urn ’

“ although she needs nothing, she calls out to her servant again and again, hoping her beloved will hear her voice ”

this quote is like really wrong minded

typical sufi christian gnostic voynich trash

in her anguish tears fell

she was washed by the stream

in her anguish tears fell

they washed away the dream

in her anguish tears fell

she was washed away with the stream

in her anguish tears fell

she was washed away with them

humans have a lot of energy, usually misdirected

only zen could have zen masters that ran slave labour camps

“ in 1941  kuon yamada  began working for the manchurian mining company as a labor supervisor  —  a company known for poor working conditions and exploiting its slave labor forces composed of Chinese peasants, POWs and criminals

by 1945 he had become deputy director of the general affairs department for the company ”

this is why the 6th patriarch gave me transmission

to create a genuine lineage not tainted by filth

from the script writers view point reality is plastic

reality is plastic

you don’t leave until you say good-bye

you have to say good-bye


you don’t leave until you say good-bye

you have to say good-bye

when you understand something you can write about it freely

when you interpret you are bound in the shackles of another’s understanding

“ where does not understanding fit in ? ”

i would say  ‘ interpreting ’  is not understanding

if you want to escape something you need to find the key

zillions of years, uncountable infinities of universes, counting uncountables

unending, never ending

yet there



one you

don’t be fooled by looks, the pretty are often vacuous

justin bieber has fucked his health with  high nanoparticle  black tattoo ink

you can’t tell them

watch this space for the next sixty years

isn’t the art ghastly, dreams by a decrepit madman

the problem that dr. who and science fiction in general has that their basic premise of a superfluity of communicating civilizations in the universe is very untrue and we may be the only one and for who knows how long

we live the most bizarre lives

coming from nowhere

going to nowhere

somewhere inbetween

we live the most bizarre lives

coming from nowhere

going to nowhere

somewhere in between

deflecting endlessly

and back






writing is you creating a different world and in some sense you are its god


no flies,








there’s no god and no saints, you have been filling out an infantile outline in a child’s colouring book

there’s no zen and no zen masters, you have been filling out an infantile outline in a child’s colouring book

we don’t die

its just an idea

we are much more born than die

you are sitting at the  end of time

i’m not

well, not quite

“ where do your ideas come from ? ”

i don’t know, but they definitely relate to unseen and seen things you have been holding in the back of your mind

the really best ones can just come from nowhere with no explanation

non euclidian, i have been there before

i am non-euclidean

non euclidian, i have been there before

lives are apart, in distress no comfort can be given

i respect the respect you show for my time by not asking

unfortunately the obtuse do not hear this, but those who i might be interested in hearing from do

i respect the respect you show for my time by not asking

when people die they go to god or whatever and that being the case, not such a fuss should be made over the departure

when people die they go to god and that being the case, not such a fuss should be made over the departure

i might write a bit on celibacy since it is now forgotten lore, religions today that are ostensibly celibate are showing that is not the case, the religion is a mask, but of course they were always masks

there must have been in medieval times a substantial body of practical knowledge but these days the only advice i have seen is mother teresa’s  “ be busy ”  or  “ keep occupied ”  which i am not sure i entirely agree with, but she was celibate and free, even of the catholic church despite appearances

what i was doing was reading lauris edmond’s  poem  which gives an abstract look at life towards its end and thinking that in fact it was another viewpoint and a life lived away from mine and is not me

i’m not saying its not true, its just memory bound and i’m not saying that’s a bad thing, just the celibate childless life doesn’t have that  “ wealth ”  so much and recovers the wealth continually into aging more immediately

notions of  ‘ destiny ’  are confused, we track in certain directions but outcomes are beyond prediction

notions of destiny are confused, we track in certain directions but outcomes are beyond prediction

i wonder if mental illness is a developmental structure that clashes with reality to the point the survival of  “ the owner ”  is imperiled or quality of life is lost and that’s all it is

even the wise fall for a woman’s wiles

i’m not wise

you really can’t recover the past, its gone

you can’t really recover the past, its gone

its pity the mental merging of two humans doesn’t match the genetic merging

unlike tv drama the world is perfectly consistent

or is it ?

celibacy is like dr. who, you’re a time lord and have destroyed the world

“ this world is an illusion ”

what is meant by  ‘ illusion ’  ?

you are just trying to stand  ‘ on a bottom turtle ’

“ this world is an illusion ”

what is meant by illusion ?

you are just trying to stand on a bottom turtle

toni packer never attempted to teach, she simply talked about what was of interest

everything was open to discussion or dispute

how different from the usual zen  “ fascism ”

jason recounts  (end of march 2019)

i picked up  kacent  a half hour away so we could get dinner together, we drove back to a place 15 mins north of where i live

she forgot her phone and didn’t bring money when she left her house

i picked her up at 3:30 and then her boyfriend said he was going to sleep at 8

i told her to leave so early, not to leave from where the restaurant is, to come back to hometown and leave from there or take the train from there, i even offered her some money for her way home

her boyfriend said he was going to sleep at 8 and if she wanted a lyft or uber home then he would order one and then go to sleep, so she took him up on his offer

well the lyft driver pulled up and i confirmed it was a real driver because he had a sign in his car

on her way home, with no phone, this costa rican driver starts calling her beautiful, asking her about her sex life, about her body, touched her legs and hands, asked her what she liked and how he could please her

i was wondering if i should’ve just drove her home but she didn’t take my advice either

at the same time if i’m picking her up and driving her away maybe i have to drive her back ?

i asked her if it was my fault for not driving her home and she replied  “ of course its not ”

when the lyft driver pulled up he jumped out of his seat a bit and his head jerked back when i looked at him, but i figured she would be ok

apparently sex offenders are often hired by these online cab companies because they don’t do background checks or overlook certain crimes

at the end of the ride he was telling her not to leave and she asked for his name and phone number

she filed a report with lyft and is thinking of filing a police report

my  comment

she should file a police report

touching her is not a good sign

he’s homing in on her sense of vulnerability, a stronger more aggressive woman would have knocked him back in no uncertain terms

he’s not doing it because it hasn’t worked for him before

i think some women would trade sex for the fare, so his behavior is not coming from nowhere

i think filing the police report will teach her a bit about reality

one being the police won’t care and she has to look after herself

but also that he has injured her with his behavior

jason  replies

yes i said its also important that the police have the report on file so that if something were to happen there’s evidence

she called the police just now even after her saying they won’t do anything

so what sense of  “ we ”  is this, that your views have to override everything else ?

“ how the fuck do i find a zen master to study under ? ”

its self taught, if you study  “ under a teacher ”  or even think you can, you are on the wrong road, the more so because the so called  “ zen masters ”  of today are clueless

i can’t see you do anything except waste your time but if you are interested, the  springwater center  in the finger lakes region offers a good balance of retreats and  “ non-denominationality ”

its founder  toni packer  was at one point philip kapleau’s senior  “ heir ”  until the  “ break-up ”

susan schepp  at the springwater center seems ok

there is another dimension that none of them seem to get, i don’t know her but she seems to have more of that extra dimension than most

i ask ronin

my basic question is why you think all the nonsense you quote on r|zen is anything except novelistic nonsense ?

ronin replies

first of all, why do you think its nonsense ?

i can’t really argue against it if you are starting off from that point

we all have things we want to say and share with people;  are you saying that all we all do is share nonsense ?

i don’t even understand your reasoning

my  reply

yeah that’s what i’m saying, that with some exceptions all you are doing is sharing nonsense and the stinger is that you can’t tell the nonsense from the occasional sense

the records of joshu seem to be literally translated or translated reasonably well, and you get a sense of a consistent person there, he has a distinctive recursive use of language which marks him out as really, one of the very few great masters

so that’s an example of something that’s not nonsense

however there is very little other stuff that isn’t, you are reading the errors of translation and endless transcription and yet more retranslation, especially as what was recorded was moved from whatever dialect it was recorded in into the administrative language

endless philological problems which are totally unaddressed in modern translations

sheer fictional additions, distortions and stories

its not like today where some-one just writes a book and you are certain of what he said  (plus the editor of course)

zen/ch’an in addition has the problem of being patronised by the chinese literary/administrative class and actually zen itself is a literary construct

you have no interest in understanding but, like some crazy doctor who episode you just revolve for infinite time in useless circles

because that is most comfortable for you, or at least what you perceive to be the most comfortable

ronin  replies

is that what you really think i’m doing ?  and even if i was doing that, to each his own, right ?

i  reply

i really do think you are doing that, but as you say  “ each to his own ”

what you are doing is what i call  “ waiting at the end of time ”  and the people there are not without some understanding

this is what most people do in the  “ spiritual game ” ,  twiddling their thumbs until time dissolves

its fair enough and given how much work and attention the next level up takes, it is understandable

so to be fair, i don’t have a criticism, except that its wrong and claimed to be right

its the sanity of laziness or incapacity or idleness whereas some-one like ewk is putting a lot of effort into being wrong which i really think is insanity

ronin  asks

so how do you actually get to the next level ?

my  reply

well like i am saying you are treating what you quote as  “ inerrant scripture ”  rather than novelistic

to understand how distant translation is from what was said has taken me years, these different more correct views take a lot of work and research

if you just step back from the assumptions you are making and evaluate them for correctness is to step forwards rather than backwards

it seems to me you  (ed. ronin)  shy off the real issues, but in fact if you didn't  “ shy off ”  that way, you wouldn’t be wasting your time with your  ‘ off the wall ’  erroneous views posting on r|zen

and how different is that from most on r|zen

its not

the root problem is people don’t go beyond zen, if they went beyond zen into other religions and literature their bullshit would naturally unravel, but how can it unravel when they clutch so hard on voynich ?

that they can do this means they lack the cogintive equipment to venture further

your mind may wander in meditation but you are lost in the landscape and have no direction as evidenced by the circle you turn in

its the same circle you turn in, why don’t you notice ?

the famous talented, intelligent, artistic are not interesting to me, they have nothing to convey

its only the broken so i can see the springs and clockwork that i find interesting

the buddha said that  “ a person is not easily known by outward form nor should you trust a quick appraisal ”

i find the first and long term appraisals are right, but the intermediate one is not

mozart’s life is quite interesting, its not quite the gilded lily you might expect

r|zen wannabe zen priests

its the same thing as brad warner  talks about  with robes and rakusus

the usual quote of of assumed inerrant scripture as validating the nonsense they spew following with the pathetic downvoting of any criticism

really really pathetic and the  “ inerrant scripture  “  is about as inerrant as the carol burnett show

given the role of religion in japan in WW2, its no wonder the japanese are now so cynical about shinto and buddhism, they used to be highly superstitious

same thing happened with christianity with the disaster area of the crusades

islam has always been more or less successful and so the cynicism is not there

why do people have so much trouble understanding the buddha story is just bad fiction ?







snow on the window pane

quietly it falls

do you have anything useful to say or are you just doing the usual reddit sniping for whatever reason ?

you don’t know me, i could care less about you, i have given up trying to guess why people like you behave the way you do

the story you quote makes sense, your commentary doesn’t

even if they look they can’t see

the automaton walked back and forth along the ridge, it knew nothing of the view it only knew the path

it built a few like itself, they went on their own paths

this happened forever

the most moving thing i have seen in tasmania is the small, uncared for, rural cemetery on back road above the wilmot river with memorials to all those young farmers killed in world war one

the most moving thing i have seen in tasmania is the small cemetery on back road above the wilmot river with memorials to all those dead young farmers killed in world war one

enlightenment is like a dr. who episode, you lose it, then find it then lose it again

you are building the wrong building, it will never get you there

you are condemned  to yap  on the cliff forever

its hard to describe dai kensho but is somewhat like this scene from dr. who

where amy  remembers

its that remembering when one recovers infinity

the intensity of memory

“ you get out what you put in ”

why not question that ?

you don’t get out what you put in

r|zen, my very own psychward

look you are just the usual mediocrity trying to impose his idiocy

in what world is being ignorant so praiseworthy ?

in a sane world there’s no  body modification  ergo the world is not sane

if you ask  “ does god exist ”  you are really asking  “ what is existance ”  and since the question  “ exists ”  you can’t really get outside of it

in others words its a dead end street

antipsychotics are known for their toxicity

look your writing is crap, calling shit spices is just you calling shit spices

atheism is a nonsense term since even imaginary gods have a type of existance

if you put in the work, even with a problem you will still come out ok

only experience can teach you what you really need

an insight into  the depth  of the american opioid crisis

toni morrison’s intelligence, wide knowledge and ability  to talk  is exceptional

in actual fact from a semantic or deep structure point of view, there really is no race

toni morrison is no nonsense and  articulate

why do people have so much trouble with solipsism, as if one wants to be just one cypher amongst many

there’s no meaning in existance like that

i’m not saying its not true, we are just one cypher amongst many, its just there is no meaning

you are avoiding what i say

you can’t go past your incorrect world view

“ i think you can’t give up the idea that you are special, which puts you a couple of steps behind my twelve year old son ”

well i am special, very special

that’s solipsism, i’m the literal universe

i don’t have too much of an opinion of the situation with others, however i will allow that sort of potential could exist if they stopped building walls so assiduously

“ i’m willing to entertain the possibility that i’m wrong ”

yeah but the next step is look at where one is wrong and the next step is embark on the process of discovery to correct where one can

you are two steps away from  “ the real spiritual work ” 

i know the mods don’t like me using the word  ‘ schizophrenic ’ ,  but this lack of competent fitting and testing of views and hypotheses and instead just using pure projection to the nth degree is the major problem on r|zen

its schizophrenic even if people are not in a psych ward

the arrogant smug self-satisfaction with their world views is overweening

when i put a poem up seemingly repeated two or three times, in fact all the versions are different, its to give a perspective vision

the reading age of women can vary with malice as an independent variable

the listening age as well

the reading of women can vary with malice as an independent variable

the reading age of women can vary depending on the degree of malice

not much to listen to, the first time around, but it grows on you

pytor ilyich  tchaikovsky   :  once again as before  i am alone ,  op. 73, th 109, no.6

there’s some sense to mimicking quality, but mimicking rubbish takes the cake, too often i am afraid

you know what you are talking about

i don’t know what you are talking about

a special transmission









 where ?

a special transmission









 where ?

a special transmission







 where ?

its to do with the literal  “ special transmission ”  and will only make sense when you have had it

it is the literal core of zen, those poems are the core of zen

BCR and Mumonkan, eat your stupid hearts out

out over the cliff spread a silver sea lit by the moon

various lunatics strode up and down yelling out to that empty bosom

jesus, god, zen, muhammad, moses, buddha, enlightenment, holy

these words drifted back and forth as the ear caught them

over the years some fell to their death, others got tired and old and left, still others came to replace them

the moon and sea never said a word

out over the cliff spread a silver sea lit by the moon

various lunatics strode up and down yelling out to that empty bosom

jesus, god, zen, muhammad, moses, buddha

these words drifted back and forth as the ear caught them

over the years some fell to their death, others got tired and old and left, still others came to replace them

the moon and sea never said a word

the insane and their bottom turtles that aren’t there

sometimes i feel like i am caught in a bad episode of dr. who

“ does anyone know why astigmatism causes headaches ? ”

the trigeminal nerve behind the eye gets involved in a positive feedback loop of migraine causing biochemicals, how exactly the extra mechanical stress of trying to see with astigmatism influences this i don't know, but as sufferers know, it does

what works for me is taking a rounded teaspoon of taurine a day

i suppose the fact of r|zen is idiots using zen to embellish their drug use

be warned myself

one of the problems with the net is, i think, that it entrains you in certain directions that are not necessarily satisfactory from a life point of view

you just have to work through them to some sort of ending i guess

if you have the time

because toni packer was caught between her native german and english i think she never got to understand how instrumental language and its inhering expression was compared to overt semantics

a question i never asked toni packer

do you think all your dealing with people has slowed your own development and cost you personally ?

when you put a lot of time into something for no return, that wants thinking about

“ being of these hills i cannot pass  beyond ”

the above poem  text

i am of the hills, sky, sea, clouds, moon, stars, sky

such a question of  “ passing beyond ”  never occurred to me, yet it has a certain validity

religion is a form of literature made falsely real

you just can’t sit there and say to the insane  “ don’t be insane ”

you just can’t sit there and say  “ don’t be insane ”  to the insane

ewk  writes

a mirage isn’t water

my  reply

when ewk wakes up, the mirage that is water will appear to him

ewk  replies

troll who claims psychic visions tells other people wake up   .  .  .

my  reply

to a wannabe priest what i wrote won’t make sense

to an enlightened master it will

which are you ?

actors and actresses for all their charisma have very ordinary minds, disappointing really

i guess since charisma is an emotional intelligence, it shouldn’t be surprising to find the intellectual department is so bankrupt

that’s the basic illusion of films, plays and videos, you get the illusion of the combined intellectual and emotional powers of the writers and actors to create something that can scarcely exist in reality

dr. who’s regeneration/resurrection is so christian

funny how these religious themes get incorporated into entertainment

if you spell love backwards, take out the o and replace it with the i, you get evil

its not so far away is it ?


writing work

a woman’s desire  for children

there’s the valley of the dolls and the valley of the broken dolls

which is what and what is which i cannot say

there’s the valley of the dolls and the valley of the broken dolls

which is which and what is what i cannot say

there’s the valley of the dolls and the valley of the  broken dolls

the mentally ill





 do ?

its so annoying, i was waking up and in this state i cludged together a homily, quite a good one and i thought i must get up and write it down, but i didn’t and meandered off into something trivial, i have a voice recorder by the bed and could have spoken into it but i didn’t

now i can’t remember anything at all about what it was, not the slightest, my only memory is the process of putting it together

its like losing a child, one feels totally bereft

a jewel lost to the night of nothingness

my lost homily here  R.I.P.

it was a good one, jesus i am pissed off !

not everything is productive, but if you keep churning it over, something productive will turn up

women and men are different yet so dependent on each other

strange worlds that never meet

joko beck quiz

her husband committed suicide because he was mentally ill


joko was so boring

an account  of her by gerry wick

i wonder whether all the sitting she did contributed to the alzheimers ?

can i take rest

why cannot i take rest

always moving forward

less i fall into the collapsing under my present footstep

you can never beat the mad

they always do a non-euclidian jump

back to

where they were

you can never beat the mad

they always do a non-euclidian jump

to back

where they were

“ exercise is the most  transformative  thing you can do for your brain today ”

jason  writes

i remember i was at the taco bell at penn station years ago and this homeless guy approached me and my friends cuz we stood out like a sore thumb

he asked for  “ money please i’m so hungry ” ,  and i had a couple extra tacos so i offered them to him, and then he starts saying how he doesn’t eat that and he’d prefer money

then a couple of ladies just started yelling from the other table saying he just wants money for drugs and he gave them a stare and walked away

assumptions are often true

religion and sexual mores or behaviour have always been inextricably linked

patriarchy in islam, homosexuality and paedophilia in catholicism and korean zen,  “ sex club ”  promiscuity in neo advaita and new age, homosexuality in greek orthodox, gurus with harems

basically in terms of genuine  “ spiritual inquiry ”  these things are just displacement and contrary

i’m not saying actual celibacy is morally better though in some cases it is, but that its the real deal and all the other shenanigans are what the religions and cults are really about

“ behind rigidity there is always  something hidden ,  in many cases a double life ”  quote by pope francis

an important trick with supplements is to divide the pill or capsule or whatever and experiment with much lower doses

i’ll just run through what you post

i take 400iu of D3 and 90 mcg of K2 a day

1000 mg of vitamin C is way way too much, PABA gives me gut problems, the blackmores mega B complex is better imo, but cut down

the only amino acid i have ever found that does something positive is taurine, i take a rounded teaspoon a day

22mg is too much  zinc  and i don’t like picolinate chelates

magnesium i gave up on as too difficult from a gut point of view

anyway supplementing requires a constant process of care, finesse and experimentation

i think the brain evolved out of the gut so a lot of the biochemistry and functional elements are the same

quoting the misaligned

the idiots




the  “ path ”  is only revealed in hindsight, there is always a natural opaqueness regarding the future so how can any  “ path ”  be seen ahead of time in the conventional way ?

at best it is a guess, sometimes right, sometimes wrong

why do you assume that what you quote is anything but fanciful crap ?

how can you make sense of bullshit

 you get an A+ for effort, but you know   .   .

“ what makes sobriety the ‘ desired ’  (for lack of a better word)  state ? ”

the real problem is brain damage

damaged women



they don’t


but slowly


don’t be fooled


looking after them

jason wonders how  deepak  has 3.2 million followers on twitter but has so little comments on his posts

my  comment

he’s buying 3 million followers

anything indian  “ spiritual ”  they are unabashed con artists, thousands and thousands of years of experience

jason  replies

i don’t know why has to buy followers

i was reading on his wikipedia page that he lives in a $14.5 million dollar condo in manhattan, with his wife and two children

my  reply

i think the lesson of deepak is if you get to a certain level of intellectual sophistication in the  ‘ spiritual ’  you can make a lot of money

for contrary example the usual neo advaita bullshit like jeff foster and lisa cairns drivel off keeps them poor

low reading age and poor memory, you expect me to be impressed ?

the sadness of damaged aging women, seen it before

i think there’s a limit to reading other people’s poetry, you have to carve your own space out

to see something so utterly different, you don’t need to travel to another galaxy


i think  choosing beggar  describes a form of entitlement that seems rife these days

beware the  “ valley of the choosing beggars ” aka r|zen and just about any streaming forum

beware the  “ valley of the choosing beggars ” aka r|zen

you have no idea what linji said between the philology, transcription, mythologising and translation

you are a little christian fundie with your  “ inerrant scripture ”

the new testament is fiction, you are reading mostly distorted fiction and  “ building your house on sand ”  which gets swept away with every tide

what i am saying is why treat it as more than a novel ?

when you take a novel as a real historical representation you have a problem

the crusaders would have saved themselves a lot of grief if they hadn’t done that

their perceived necessity of taking jerusalem really fucked up their strategy

i had a substantial real life zen involvement and i never came to understand what it was about except through an enlightenment experience and the reading of non zen mystical literature

having had that experience i knew what it was about and could clearly see all the distortion and crap in the zen records

there is authentic stuff in zen like johsu and foyan but that’s about all

huang po and dahui are slick but they are only partially enlightened

why do you say  “ you seem to think I might accept your authority over my own ”

you think i’m blind, you will just meander on in stupidity for the rest of your life, i don’t write to convince you but for my own writings

you are just the usual pompous clueless on r|zen

honestly, you are the typical choosing beggar here

your own  “ enlightenement ”  experience was just the usual choosing beggar screwed up, a hole dug deeper you’re a pathetic pretender

before i became enlightened , as i have said before, i completely disbelieved in it, why should i expect anyone else to be different

you will never believe it until it happens, you cannot, it such an out of the ordinary event

it is not an hallucination

my basic point which you are in denial of is that most but not all of the zen writings are bad fiction and no basis for  “ inerrant scripture ”

you are following some pied piper, that’s not my business, i really don’t care one way or another what you do, i write not to convince but to web publish, like by the time you read this, it will be published

you’re anti-enlightened, just went more wrong

i get something out of the choosing beggars, hooray !

the trouble with addicts is most missionize their addiction

beware the  “ valley of the choosing beggars ”

the trouble with addicts is most missionize their addiction


just try spaces

it will be good for you and maybe reverse your alzheimers

maybe it won’t

what has happened has gone

and won’t

come back





capitalization is just a convention to make it easy to tell where one sentence stops and another begins

i use line or blank spaces neither of which are economic in the paper world, so with computer word processing its redundant

i make it redundant

fuck you stupid world

on complaints about my not capitalizing and being sparing in my use of full stops

you h.a.t.e. ee cummings ?

of course you are just another unread idiot

language is the way it is used

you are reading andrew-ese

make my day, don’t read me

sexual deviancy is a nightmare land, don’t get too judgmental about it

you can’t stomach the reality of this sort of  (ed. spiritual)  work, its not the easy peasy taking of  “ attitudes ”  you thought it might be ?

“ there are no teachers in zen ”

why the hell don’t people listen ?

too full of what they think they know ?

if you look at old films, everyone used to smoke, especially young women fucking the next generation’s health

try replying to content rather than going your usual ad hominem   “ ballistic ”

the worse thing to do with tabacco smoking is go though constant withdrawal, starting again cycles, everytime you withdraw is like getting a mini stroke

the other thing that is surprising is how much damage even one cigarette a day does

i think the ten bull herding pictures are the usual religious nonsense/bullshit

might make a good film though, some  “ grasshopper ”  crazy chasing a cow, catching it, sells it for beans then seeing christ as he climbs the beans stalk and finishes off eating lunch with the giant who has just been converted to buddha-christianity by ewk

plenty of  worse films  have been funded

jason, if you become a  “ guru ”  be prepared for at least one attempt on your life during your life

don’t say i didn’t warn you

there’s nothing wrong with an  “ intellectual ”  understanding, the problem is its incorrect

personally i think you are a bit lazy, you won’t do any real work

non addicts often lack sympathy for addicts

zen is extreme solipsism, you can actually see it in joshu

a religious or   ‘ spiritual ’  person is a psychotic imagining his acting out a fantasy is real

the craziness of r|zen

smoke dreams about nothing

what is love ?

the most overused word in the english language

wait ,  ‘ god ’  is the most overused word

the downvoting idiots

they quote nonsense

and when they read something that is not nonsense

they downvote

a grizzly bear is something !

worth watching several times to see what is actually  happening

warning, women will find it traumatic, the ending is not nice

a painful dream


it cannot come true

painful dreams


it cannot come true

painful dreams


lost in her flesh she dreams on

leaving a trail of slaughter


and mild incompetence

lost in her flesh she dreams on

leaving a trail of slaughter


and mild competence

no-one wants to be sad and seeing

everyone wants to be blind and happy

“ the medium is the message ”  marshal mcluhan

the message is the medium

the notion of  “ zen master ”  is a literary construct believed in by fools

something in the poem below resonated with you

good poems do that, you can’t help but be drawn to them

zen poem

the lunatics chase meaning

the moment


sanctity  compassion

what the masters say

what they didn’t





why don’t

they discover



its a funny world, john wayne knew wyatt earp in his last years and modelled his movie persona on him

he also married hispanic women, one of whom nearly shot him

not just a pretty face, maureen o’hara  can sing

a company cannot function like a government bureaucracy and expect to stay in business

to me you are a demented fool who can’t see the contradictions in what he quotes and writes

my wanderings are coming to an end

the dream is dissipating

was it ever more than a waste land ?

my wanderings have come to a stop

the dream dissipates

was it ever more than a waste land ?

ed.  my reworking of a poem by basho

i only use r|zen for writing and thinking, they are mostly retards and idiots but its all free

r|zennists are choosing beggars, be very careful of that type of person, you see a lot of those people in  “ spiritual groups ”  as well

some people write nonsense

read what they have written

then they believe it

some people write nonsense

read what they have written

believe it

in terms of the  “ spiritual quest ”  ‘ married with kids ’  are just not in the running, however it is sane on their part to give the best of their attention to their families needs

they are just involved in all the  “ spiritual nonsense ”  for entertainment and to pretend like the rest

when you look at goethe’s life its the usual mess and he doesn’t seem exceptional, talented maybe, but when he writes there’s something out of this world

when you look at goethe’s life its the usual mess and he doesn’t seem exceptional, maybe talented, but when he writes there’s something out of this world

typical married with kids, no words of their own

spewers of the crap of others

you get less done, that’s the horror of getting older

what is the colour of her eyes ?

sandsharks fleckeled with the white foam of the sea and the clouds of the sky

on the one side there’s the sane who don’t understand anything

on the other side there’s the insane who don’t understand anything

on the middle side



on the one side there is the sane who don’t understand anything

on the other side there is the insane who don’t understand anything

on the middle side



“ through the gate he stepped out and the bars could never hold him back again. the gate was holding him prisoner not keeping him out ”

the gate built and melted

bars appeared and disappeared

perspective itself


through the gate he stepped and never came out

enlightenment is an active skill, but its more than an active skill

it requires a transmission from infinity, which alas or not alas is rare

time is an impression of images, that is all

time is a mental impression, that’s all

when you are enlightened you will understand, not before, i didn’t myself

ah, you're a druggie, choosing beggar territory for sure

actually there’s another class of choosing beggar, vindictive choosing beggars

choosing beggars support other choosing beggars’ right to choose and beg

choosing beggar supports other choosing beggar’s right to choose and beg

why time seems to go by  more quickly  as we get older

more mental image time is  compressed  into clock time when we are young

“ the human mind senses time changing when the perceived images change

the present is different from the past because the mental viewing has changed, not because somebody’s clock rings

days seemed to last longer in your youth because the young mind receives more images during one day than the same mind in old age ”

zazen can only be safely done by young people with good circulations and for god’s sake don’t sit any form of lotus

the koreans do standing, walking and lying down meditation

guided meditation, like mantra chanting is toxic

you know about the circadian rhythm and the problems of shift work ?

if you are doing something as unhealthy as shift work especially with with changing shift times i wouldn’t do zazen since sitting in itself is unhealthy

i do several hours of meditation a day but its decades since i have done zazen or seated meditation, mostly i am walking or lounging for short periods in chairs

“ the sixth patriarch talks about the practice of  ‘ straightforward mind ’  early on in the yampolsky translation of the platform sutra, could you please give an explanation of what he meant ”

he just means don’t get entangled in nonsense like ceremonies, chanting, scripture, sutras,   “ practice ”  but look directly to your own experience and making sense of the craziness we call life

you have just quoted nonsense, can’t see a grain of sensible meaning in it

one mind, buddha etc. are just mental junkfood

you have just quoted nonsense, can’t see a grain of meaning in it one mind, buddha etc. just mental junkfood

“ Still, all these concepts belong in the maximegallon museum of diseased imaginings ”

let’s go for a walk through the museum

the circadian rhythm synchronises off  blue light receptors  in the retina

red light has the least blue light in, white light has a lot of blue in

computers have  “ dark modes ” ,  ie basically red and black

what i do is go onto red light an hour or two before bed, red leds have a very pure red light

two observers can both see the same reality as different and both be correct

when i think back about my school days, its all quite painful, just a little fish out of water

ambiguity is not a bad thing, in fact essential for carrying  “ heavy duty ”  imagery

so poetry is basically about intelligently cross-linked ambiguity

an interesting poem  by

the moment is the void watching the waves come and go on an empty sea is the only way i could let go of my memories of this endless story of claiming that god’s trash is the secret to immortality in this story of a glorious cursed treasure that humans are willing to kill and die for that rotting bag of god’s trash.  we all forget that we need a strong burning flame to walk through the darkest paths until the sun shines again

don’t you get tired of your own stupidity ?

i can assure you its not interesting to others

the thing i find that no-one gets is the vast gulf between a translation and what actually might have been said

why not engage your brain before replying ?

brad ,  is that  really  what eihei dogen said ?

do you even know the what the role of philology is in translation ?

it seems to me that dogen translations are just some nonsense in a modern cultural/philosophical cloak

also why can’t he be wrong ?

soto is just another form of scriptualism

gonna answer this or not

not for sure !

i agree with the basic point he is making, idiots inflating passé meditation experiences into something they are not

people confuse an aspect of a process with results and so they just  “ meta ”  away their time uselessly to the end of their days

the rest of the video is where soto really goes wrong, they don’t integrate any other knowledge into it and it just becomes a recursive mess

i don’t believe in god or zen masters, if they exist, they are idiots

one day the penny will never drop

an interesting  variation  on a well known twelfth night scene

charles bukowski  doesn’t like  hilda doolittle, but i do

she has something of the aesthetic lyrical, strange territory to charles of course

sheltered garden

honestly buddhism in the west is just episcopalianism/ anglicanism/ catholicism revisited

what would non-buddhist zen be ?

basically its a recovery of the true mystical base from all the flawed nonsense of today

its core is the development of the mystical understanding, but in practice its main activity will be holding retreats and classes of preparation for retreats

the retreats themselves would be something along the lines of  “ the  springwater  style ”  but not necessarily vegetarian

probably the next step would be developing a curriculum for the classes which would be writing, reading and writing poetry, prose, blogs and dairies, literature, mystical literature, actual meditation, sitting on cushions or chairs, contemplative walks, understanding the pitfalls and benefits of contemplative work, practical sitting experience, public speaking, science, health and getting message boards and streaming to work positively for you

the sfzc motto

when you are sleeping with the wife of your biggest donor, don’t let her leave her shoes outside your cabin at night

you could save the world

but its a waste of time

things are not fine as they are

 but what can you do about it ?

let the pretentious clappers

breed their nonsense

streaming is probably like r|zen, continual trauma because of the people it attracts

i have seen so many american women on r|askdocs with severe health problems from multiple psychiatric medications its obvious its yet another modern disaster area

its also obvious the mental health profession doesn’t give a shit and the women have been turning a blind eye until they no longer can

getting older is an exercise in terror

what will fail next ?

when you nail him down, he just gets up and walks away then you realise you are not dealing with a sane person

hans asperger sent quite high functioning children  to their deaths

“ Another adolescent girl, Margarete Schaffer, did not  ‘ swing ’  with the group.  He found her superficial, insincere, unable to take part in games and, again, probably oversexed.  She stole soap from the other girls.  Elfriede Grohmann was diagnosed, essentially, as ‘ ineducable ’.  Asperger sent them to Spiegelgrund.  Elfriede knew she was being sent to her death.  ‘ I’ll tell you only one thing ’ ,  she wrote to her uncle ,   ‘ we will not see each other again ’ ”

my question on r|optometry

is exchanging IOL’s after say two decades a straight forward or problematic operation ?

is age significant ?


the longer the IOL is in the capsular bag, the more scar tissue and adhesion develops, making the removal of the iol more difficult

it is a complicated process that involves first removing the iol from the capsular bag, then moving the IOL into the anterior chamber of the eye, cutting it into pieces and pulling the individual pieces out

much more is involved with removing and replacing an IOL than the original cataract surgery

this increases the risk of prolonged inflammation after the surgery  (uveitis and even cystoid macular edema)

if one has history of YAG laser capsulotomy after the original cataract surgery, exchanging an IOL is even more difficult

that being said, an IOL exchange can be done with success  —  especially if the benefits of doing so are worth the risk

why do you want to exchange an IOL ?

is it due to incorrect lens power or an issue with a multifocal implant ?

my reply

thanx for the reply

i’m soon to have what will be my first cataract operation and reading about degradation of the acrysof lens optical properties in the long term, it seemed better to have material like clareon which glistened less even though its only monocular and has no toric versions

from what you say it seems a long lasting lens that won’t need to be replaced because of the loss of optical quality is important

you’re asking a pirate to give up his plunder, its not going to happen is it ?

its hard to understate how toxic education is

you get taught what you don’t want to know and impedes real understanding by people who have no clues

paid for by wasting the best years of your life

the mumonkan is bedtime stories for half-wits

i was thinking there was sense where there was none

honestly, isn't what you have written nonsense ?

ewk, its sorta like a disease with you, you can say something, but that doesn’t make it true but you seem to think and act like it does

its just reddit, why not use your  “ interchanges ”  to sort things out, not attempt to overwrite whatever else there is with your version of things

the moment you stop posting here its all gone, including  “ your ”  wiki

i get the feeling that if you tried to bend you would break which is not a good way to be

ewk’s  “ take down ”  spam even though incorrect and distorted is effective by virtue of repetition

i’ve learnt not to read it, but probably most on r|zen do

he has a basic  “ propaganda ”  technique the mods refuse to rein him in on and its just fucks up the subreddit along with the mods deleting  “ high quality ”  OP’s because they are high quality

“ come on, you have to know that  ‘ enlightenment ’  is a conceptual dualistic trap at this point ”

honestly i used to think that, but objectively i am enlightened super frame not withstanding

without the enlightenment experience, you will just go on as you do caught in the slough or quicksand of stymied ignorance

“ have you thrown away the concept of enlightenment yet, or are you still seeking ? ”

actually i wish i could as an illusion but since in fact i am enlightened, then i can’t

of course i could throw myself away as an illusion, but that’s very strange territory, even for one who is enlightened

“ there are those that are born dumb, those that achieve dumbness and those who have dumbness thrust upon them ”

the insane







you’re failed marksman claiming to hit the bull when you miss the target

you can’t understand the enlightened viewpoint because you are not enlightened

why be the usual endless net fake ?

failed marksmen claiming to hit the bull when they miss the target

zen or the fallacy of a super frame

a landscape of non illusion that we can navigate in, become familiar with and have a competence in

then the landscape is us and it all melts in recursion and what we thought we had, we don’t

reality is  non euclidean  but we are born to think of it as euclidean

that’s the problem

the vulnerability of the failing physicality of older age

the vulnerability of getting older

the vulnerability of old age

i figure brenton tarrant who massacred fifty people in two mosques in dunedin, new zealand lived at 92 somerville street which is only 340 meters from 65 every street where david bain murdered his parents and siblings

i’ve got to say actors and actresses seem pretty empty headed, they are not thinkers, it must be part of the skill

you can see why  “ marrying within the profession ”  usually ends in divorce

you haven’t taken any notice of what i said, the net is full of schizophrenics like you, puffed up with bullshit and who get snarky when challenged as if what we say is significant beyond the posts we make

i listened to the lyrics of  this song  for the first time, i have heard them before but they never  “ registered ”

“ you change your mind like a girl changes clothes

you’re up and you’re down ”

wow, that’s pretty much how i think

jason is thinking of stepping out on the guru route, given there is really nothing around that is satisfactory at all

classes might be a good idea, basically you are preparing people to go on retreat

the main problem with people going on retreat is they have no decent reading under their belts and all they do is churn the usual soap operas whereas they need decent understanding like emily dickinson, bukowski, etc etc to progress and not get turned sightly mad which is the usual result

you could charge on a per head basis

so a bit of theory, some discussion and a  (short?)  period of silent sitting

people who don’t get this can have bad experiences on actual retreat

the nearest thing to what you would be doing is toni packer and springwater, except that she wasn’t literary or familiar with religious literature across the ages, rather she was very soto, perhaps too much imo as self reflection has its limitations

it would be similar to what brad warner does too, that’s it, there’s nothing else out there

just my ideas, you will have your own opinions

interestingly mary baker eddy of christian science fame started out by giving classes

most people will not even be able to handle some-one like charles bukowski or henry darger, you have to sorta educate them about handling them, the level you will talking to is very low, that’s where the money is, otherwise you have nothing to offer

its actually quite hard to put into words what you are offering

the end point of a course might be say a one day retreat so the course would be about preparing to do a retreat so effectively the course is  “ retreat preparation ”

you don’t want any religious affiliation because that excludes people who don’t identify with the affiliation and actually i think zen has gotta sorta a bad reputation now with all the sex scandals and poor quality teachers

even  “ non-denominational ”  is not quite right as that implies chrisitianity

the problem with the word  “ zen ”  is every schizophrenic idiot between here and the black stump uses it to describe what they do

if you are successful and build up  “ karma ”  for  “ zen ”  then the arseholes will just crowd in taking the reputation you give for their own purposes

i suppose  “ non-buddhist zen ”  does say something

it does keep you clear of the zen in new york which is quite buddhist

two becomes one, it is done

 one becomes two what do i do ?

two becomes one, it is done

 one becomes two what do we do ?

i think that if we always felt the true severity of life, nothing would happen

we would be paralysed

i think that if we always felt the true severity of life, nothing would happen

we would just sit there paralysed

the films that had the biggest hooks into me were  ‘ the parent trap ’  and  ‘ twelfth night ’  and i think its because they are about separate identities going into one

plus an italian ? art film i can hardly remember

actually i think i first saw  ‘ twelfth night ’  as a play at secondary school, the parent trap as a film at primary school, (both were boarding)

a vulnerable injured child who survived

like charles bukowski i should think its enough, but its not and neither was it for him

maybe i have always taken the view it was enough

imo eihei dogen is not that buddhist or moralistic when you look at him, i think brad warner is trying to reverse engineer more buddhism and morality into dogen than is actually there

you can step through infinity back and forth and then you blink and your life is gone

is the trouble with love that there is nothing beyond ?

my neighbour who is not well was talking to me about her younger days as a teenager and just taking off for days by herself on her horse through the outback

what is objective reality ?

i think its just some cultural idea of a superframe in which we all exist

its a believable illusion, but ultimately,  not true

the huge advantage of the web and self publishing is you can publish what you like and don’t have to deal with the idiocy of editors or indeed the public

you don’t have to write to please your audience, you can write for yourself, yet still have an audience which is a fundamental shift in the publishing paradigm

charles bukowski and his taste for  ultra-violent  women, either towards him or themselves

its one of his better stories

a real african scene, vultures  scavanging  a hippo carcass

pot stunts people’s emotional development

adolescent smoking is crippling

pot interferes with people’s emotional development

you don’t know what the zen ancients really said, some of them may be fictitious, there’s no solid ground there

in the end it doesn’t matter, that’s the point about the transmission outside the scriptures and having had that, why i am the patriarch

i understand it all

you may not agree of course, but that simply makes you wrong

zen masters are like stupid hacks, patriarchs are the ones that rule

in terms of mysticism i don’t require the world to be intelligible which religion and atheism do

in fact i say the perspective trying to create intelligiblity is flawed, and hopeless

there’s no such thing as  “ students ”  in terms of mysticism

its all self taught

what an organisation used to offer that is no longer necessary because of the internet was publicity, missionary and publishing support

as far as i can see religious or  “ spiritual ”  organisations are not really getting ahead in the way they used to

christian science is a good example of the old paradigm done successfully

benito massaro might be the most successful example of a neo advaita/new age guru organisation, but its not that large and he has  his problems

what you don’t see is zen has become plagued with very poor quality teachers and coupled with the faux transmission system its been relegated to a backwater and most of the  “ action ”  is neo-advaita and independents now

i think you are living in the past brad warner

there’s no such thing as an asexual human, only a lack of self-reflection could lead one to that conclusion

child stars  have an amazingly fatal record

i wonder why

 pushed into the adult world too early ?

sesshin is a japanese word and just means an intensive seven day retreat under the guidance of a zen teacher

its really the core activity of zen and ch’an, however i don’t like the indoctrination aspect and much prefer retreats to be non-doctrinal

eg  the  springwater center

retreats make you impressionable and you have to be very wary of picking up the usual bullshit

people imagine a translation to be a transparency through which the original is seen

it is however a re-creation by the translator bearing more relation to the translator’s own thoughts and influences than the original author

so a translation, rather than being a transparency is an opaque rendering

the state of a quantum computer  was returned  a fraction of a second into the past

“ we have artificially created a state that evolves in a direction opposite to that of the thermodynamic arrow of time ”

“ while in nature the complex conjugation needed for time reversal is exponentially improbable, one can design a quantum algorithm that includes complex conjugation and thus  reverses  a given quantum state ”

i think this is the visionary process, reversing a pool or billard break, how its done or even happens i do not know

i haven’t had anything significant happen recently, maybe i am getting too old ?

the mods of r|zen use ewk as an attack dog to keep the forum the way they want it, i have seen this endlessly, the people least suited to be mods creep onto the mod list to take a message board over so it better reflects their views

what can you do about it

 leave ?

i have

people act like the tide is never going to come in and wash their sandcastles away

religion is just differing semantic pragmatic constructs about what is not amenable to semantic-pragmatism

i don’t think anyone can claim to have any sort of idea of what zen is without doing a sesshin

the moderators bias the r|zen forum in favour of a certain type of clichéd reading  “ zen ”  which i think is almost inevitable unless one has retreat experience

the forum is missing the principal dimension and i guess always had, but the numbers of the millions who ramble vacantly have to be made up somewhere so r|zen is sure doing its contribution towards that

“ don’t interrupt your enemies when they are making a mistake ”

they all  hate  each other

its just a constant meele

i love it !








you always understood what the problem was, why does it take years to fully understand what you already knew ?

you always understood what the problem was, why does it take years to understand what you already knew ?

you always understood what the issue was, why does it take years to understand what you already knew ?

the basic flaw of translation is the assumption of a semantic landscape outside the language

this is not the case

a brief illusion of continuity

not more can really be said

you feel the loss when you keep looking for them to come back, but they don’t

death or otherwise

you know its a loss when you keep looking for them to come back, but they don’t

death or otherwise

daenery’s loss of a dragon son is  more real  to me than prince andrie’s death in  “ war and peace ”

you have to take things as you find them

when you have left this world

and gone to another

when you come back

you will




more clearly

when you have left this world

and gone to another

when you come back

you will





when you have left this world

and gone to another

when you come back

you will




there’s so much that needs finishing yet we rarely have the opportunity to do that

when we finish something we can move forward from that, otherwise we are doomed to repeat the usual circles of life

“ i have not slept for three hundred years ” ,  the ghost said sadly, and virginia’s beautiful blue eyes opened in wonder   “ for three hundred years i have not slept, and i am so tired ”

virginia grew quite grave, and her little lips trembled like rose-leaves.  she came towards him, and kneeling down at his side, looked up into his old withered face

“ poor, poor ghost ”  she murmured;  “ have you no place where you can sleep ? ”

“ far away beyond the pine-woods ”  he answered, in a low, dreamy voice ,  there is a little garden

there the grass grows long and deep, there are the great white stars of the hemlock flower, there the nightingale sings all night long

all night long he sings, and the cold crystal moon looks down, and the yew-tree spreads out its giant arms over the sleepers ”

virginia’s eyes grew dim with tears, and she hid her face in her hands

“ you mean the garden of death, ”  she whispered

“ yes, death.  death must be so beautiful.  to lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence.  to have no yesterday, and no tomorrow.  to forget time, to forget life, to be at peace.  you can help me.  you can open for me the portals of death’s house, for love is always with you, and love is stronger than death is ”

oscar wilde at his most lyric   and sentimental 

death in life is the  “ spiritual path ” ,  you don’t get the option to disappear permanently

interestingly they kept these lines in  this film version


oscars wilde’s self caused destruction in his last years is always disturbing, possibly explained by a degree of syphilis induced dementia, but he was at the height of his powers

the great flaw of  “ spirituality ”  and  “ teachers ”  is people volunteering their lives away for nonsense

i can’t imagine a worse sin

the  “ spiritual world ”  is more crazy than sane, be careful

the  “ spiritual world ”  is more crazy than sane

 is this the only world there is ?


there are other worlds

travel to find out

you can look at something and things won’t quite click into place, but when you look six months to years later they do

you can look at something and things won’t quite click into place, but when you look six months to a year later they do

real life  dopplegängers

the personalities and facial expressions are different though

scotty kilmer has half  a billion  views, if that doesn’t speak the power of youtube what does ?

you think the car manufacturers would be falling over themselves for space on his channel but their marketing departments are too stupid, a fact that has always been well attested to

contemplation and understanding are not different, from contemplation springs understanding and from understanding arises contemplation

contemplation and understanding are not different, from contemplation springs understanding and from understanding springs contemplation

imogen stubbs  reading  elizabeth barrett browning’s  “ how do i love thee ”

the last line is a bit different

the gondwana chorale  singing  an arrangement of noel coward’s song  “ nina ”

people/depressives try to boost their self esteem by projecting an imaginary competence in say something like   “ zen ” ,   it never works which is why so many on r|zen are suicidal

if you actually understood what  “ mysticism ”  was all about ,  in the solipsist reality you don’t need self esteem since you are effectively  “ walking with god ”

but the morons prefer deadly pills to that sort of work

there is something very interesting to hang onto life for

for every 60 minutes of midday sleep, the 24-hour average systolic blood pressure  decreased  by 3mm Hg

oral health is  important  for cognitve function in older adults

“ this longitudinal study in an English ageing population has demonstrated that poor cognitive function at early stage was associated with poorer oral health and higher risk of tooth loss in later life

the gradient relationship suggests that an improvement in cognitive function could potentially improve oral health and reduce the risk of tooth loss in the ageing population ”

eating olive oil at least once a week was associated with  less  platelet activity in the blood

gut microbiota plays an important signaling role in the process that  stimulates  cold-induced thermogenesis

“ microbiota depletion impairs thermogenesis of brown adipose tissue and browning of white adipose tissue ”

“ vaccine efficacy might be lower when individuals are exposed to  high pathogen  doses, and when individuals vary in their susceptibility ”

a good graph of  diurnal  melatonin secretion

“ the decline  of melatonin levels was significantly greater after two hours  (9 to 11am)  of exposure to blue-enriched white light

exposure to the blue-enriched white light significantly improved subjective perception of alertness, mood, and visual comfort ”

fasting-mimicking diet cycles partially  reverse  IBD-related pathology compared to water-only fasting

“ a B12-deficient diet harms C. elegans’ health at a cellular level, reducing the worms’ ability to metabolize branched-chain amino acids (BCAA)

the research showed that the reduced ability to break down BCAAs led to a toxic buildup of partially metabolized BCAA byproducts that  damaged  mitochondrial health ” 

what i notice with monasteries, convents and buddhist  “ centers ”  is they are all too busy working to manage any  “ spiritual development ”

and actually they don’t have any real interest in it, offended even if something of that nature is discussed, putting their faith in theological absurdities and waste of time ceremonies

migraine and dry eyes  are associated  and taurine is helpful for both, i’m taking two grams every day or second day

“ The exact mechanism underlying the relationship between migraine headaches and dry eye disease is unclear

However, it is well established that underlying inflammatory processes play a significant role in the pathogenesis of both disorders

Prior studies have shown that migraine headaches can be associated with increases in the levels of inflammatory markers and cytokines, such as C-reactive protein and interleukin 10

Neurogenic inflammatory mediators are thought to trigger the extravasation of plasma and increase the hypersensitivity of neurons constituting the trigeminal ganglion, a phenomenon that plays a significant role in the development and progression of migraines

Similar to migraine headaches, prior studies have established that T-lymphocyte–mediated inflammation is one of the major mechanisms underlying the pathogenesis and progression of dry eye disease

Objective and clinical variables used to assess the presence and severity of dry eye disease are correlated with the presence of migraine headaches, as mentioned previously

Inflammatory changes in dry eye disease might trigger similar events in neurovascular tissue, leading to the development and propagation of migraine headaches, or vice versa

Furthermore, excessive dryness of the ocular surface can trigger reflex tearing via the trigeminal nerve, which could subsequently trigger auras and acute migraine attacks, given the role of the trigeminal ganglion in the pathophysiology of migraine headaches

leave old ideas behind and move into new ones

there’s always something to extract from tolsoy ,  in this case,   the finality  of death

i’m always for the dreams

it has a history

everything has a history

it has a history, everything has a history