this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

alma deutscher is  dialogical  to an extraordinary degree with the prevailing classical  “ tableaux ” ,  i don’t know what the implications of this are, but it could be a warning flag of some sort

multilingualism will be spreading her too thin and i don’t think the  “ meta ”  is entirely helpful either

these people on the web who just bash at the person and haven’t learnt to take an argument apart

tattoo inks are unregulated and contain nanoparticles, toxins and carcinogens

also they mess the immune system since they persist through a relay of being consumed by successive macrophages

women shop for men, but men are the eyeless product and don’t look too much

i must admit, i was never keen on geoffery chaucer’s writings, but with more experience of life i am  more appreciative

with history you can say things happen a certain way, with the future you can’t say with certainty what will happen

i think this is really what time is, this movement from certainy to uncertainty and vice versa

there is a sort of paradox between the ease with which you can represent something in say, art or writing and its mismatch with any sort of depth, consistency or utility

when some-one agrees with what you are saying, they are not actually saying what you are saying

you have to be careful with that

brad warner, i have had quite a bit of experience of real life buddhism and zen and feel you are making  “ bradhism ” ,  its too idiosyncratic to you, a sign of schizophrenia btw

the really different thing about zen is its literary nature and in fact owed its support and development in china to patronage from the chinese administrative class which was very literary, almost unique in history

you are trying to graft it into buddhism, but in reality it was a deconstruction of buddhism

since i am deconstructing you, what i am doing is zen and not you who are trying to construct what is in effect a new version of a zen religion, shades of ron hubbard ?

i was thinking about this this morning  (ed. to a relative) ,  so i just thought i’d throw my thoughts down on electrons and send them

history is fiction

i think you need writing to give some sense of self-worth and also working things out because society is so devaluing  of childlessness

in the end i think one is really alone, there is just oneself and one’s writing and that will continue until one stops

one is an autumn leaf floating downstream







chaucer, in his prologue to the summoner’s tale, certainly  roasts  friars and it occurred to me that things haven’t changed, how ratbag the people in the religious and spiritual scene are, modern  “ friars ”  so to speak

one action swallows a thousand opinions

why do we bother with them ?

one action swallows a thousand opinions

why do we bother ?

rather sobering, aboriginal  massacre sites  in australia

its interesting to compare chaucer to the supposed writer of the plays and poetry, chaucer has 493 contemporary references to him, shakeapeare only a few

sir henry neville of course has heaps of references and like chaucer had travelled widely

geoffrey chaucer was unbelievably involved in court life and its  personal connections

you may plan for the future, build something up, but everything unseats anyway

on the other hand there’s no point in lying across the railway lines

any relationship is a form of injury

to those in relationship or marriage break-ups, you never have to worry about the personal side because they always take themselves into the new relationship

just sit back and watch

good writing of necessity has recursion, ambiguity and repetition

good writing necessarily has ambiguity

there’s a billion zillion million fictions of this world, a few of which are truer than this world

there’s a million billion zillion fictions of this world, a few of which are truer than this world

empty roads

winding unwinding

what’s the difference ?

more  evidence  for the benefits of  “ intermittent fasting ”

i don’t really use the word  “ belief ”  except in the sense of  “ i believe so ” ,  to me, its a mark of a certain uncertainty about a state of affairs

the sense of establishing a probably false or voynich state of affairs as a base doesn’t make sense to me, why would you do it?

“ i believe in the father, son and holy ghost ” ,  when i was a child at a church boarding school we had to say that as part of  “ the grace ”  before meals

really medieval actually

one sees so many middle aged people with substantial  “ belly fat ” ”  look out, it diagnoses  metabolic failure

yes, belly fat is a disease condition

i notice brad warner who worked marketing  “ ultraman ”  for years has as many  “ entertainment ”  links on his facebook page as content relevant to zen or his books

so i think i might include more in the way of entertainment than i have been doing

marketing imo is more difficult than it appears and i don’t think it can be done successfully by the originator of the content, he/she has to rely on others to do that

r|zen is so bad

because they delete anything of quality

so in terms of posting on zen_mystical, if what you post fits on r|zen, then its not suitable

zen_mystical  asks for that extra mile

writing is the selective reinforcement of some memories

these are pivots to dance across the universe

dialogic is the inter-textual relationship with other writers  —  i do this a lot and it seems obvious, but i had never thought about it that way before

you have to have a conclusion

but there’s no conclusion

by the garage door

a beam of moonlight

in the shadow

it looked like a pole on the ground

i trod on it

it wasn’t

disaster is intrinsic to the fabric of reality

we are born with a desire to continue forever

look what happens


 why is this ?

a million lives flash past

a trillion histories stuck in the stasis of slow time

reaching outwards


what is the meaning


 this ?

some-one  replied

just one meaning   :   existence

my  reply

zen_mystical is a writing board, a higher standard of explanation and working out is expected than for the usual subreddit

have a think about this, i am sure you will see what i mean, its not conversational

meaningless sound bites are r|zen territory, that prince of the insane subreddits

just one meaning



no meaning is existance




fran lebowitz  talks well  with insight

its interesting to consider the effect of the loss of so many quality artists to aids had on the current retarded level of art, a literal downsizing of intelligence

hmm, some or a fair portion of my writing is quite  dialogical

pomplamoose et al  les yeux noirs

a good poem to upgrade your reading age on

emily dickinson’s  for death

i thought i would pass on my opinion about getting cataract operations since i am developing them, the advice i got from a very experienced surgeon who has done a lot of overseas volunteer work is to delay for as long as possible which basically means until you need the operation for driving

the other big thing is there is a new generation of lens coming out considerably improved over the previous, but its going to take a couple of years

if you already have an iol in, imo you want to wear sunglasses in bright sunlight to help protect the macula as with the artifical lens you are at a bit higher risk of AMD

the BBC is full of crap, learning two languages  fucks with  your brain

the net is 80% crazies and idiots, but that still leaves a useful 20%

one thing that seems to be working for me is the exact same time for turning off all lights and the computer and going onto my red led headlamp two hours before bed

people die in their sleep, and when you  read this , you can see why

its a dangerous process, in the context of a failing body and brain you may not return from an excursion past criticality

not a bad way to go actually

evolution’s unintentional euthanasia

better than lions or wild dogs eating you alive for sure

what the rain drops in

the wind taketh away

what the rain drops in ,  the wind taketh away

what the rain drops in, the wind taketh away

what the rain drops in the wind taketh away

the problem with atheism is its like religion, its not a coherent position

“ i am an atheist ”

what does it mean ?

absolutely nothing

a sugar binge can cause an IBS flare

hardly news to anyone familiar with elaine gottschall’s work, but  the research  is now coming in

the  suzanne  of leonard cohen’s song was a real person

“ when you’re right, you’re right ”

i think all you have to do is spin it out a bit and everything becomes open-ended which is the way it actually is, but they close things off and fight to preserve the closed condition

people would rather die than do any thinking themselves with IBS conditions

this is going to seem a bit weird, but complete immersion in another culture can be a disabling experience

its rather fascinating to see you  “ revert ” ,  yet you  are changed  by your time in france, you’re a cultural  “ chimera ”  now

i have noticed that women absorb more of a different culture than men

i actually think it will take you a while to find a new balance, don’t let the worst aspects of nz culture pull you down

another commenter  (female)  accuses me of sexism and making  “ an extreme assumption ”

my  reply

i would have thought it was a positive feature  “ being able to absorb more of a different culture ” ?  what i’m saying is there is a degree of damage in aligning to a new culture and language, she has gone through that alignment and come back, but she’s not the same person, new zealand itself has changed for her

this is not a  “ good versus bad ”  but a quizzy look at undercurrents in life usually not well perceived by us

what i judge music by is not whether i think its good or bad, but whether i am compelled to listen uninterrupted to the end

ederlezi  sung by lily jung meets this criteria

you can get to 100, but to get to 110 you have to be  a mutant ,  the clonal expansion of CD4-positive cells that have acquired a cytotoxic ability

you can protect yourself to some extent from indoctrination in retreats by reading widely, but the bullshit from the theology is very counterproductive

however without solitary time you are just going to meander in verbiage forever, r|zen for instance

i would put in one and a half hours of  “ retreat time ”  a day

it can be a simple as a walk or  “ not doing anything ”  an hour or so before bed

estrella morente por las grecas fiesta  flamenca

with spring dawn comes earlier

i overslept

blossom blown from the tree

useless to ponder

my reworking of  this poem  by meng haoran

digestive problems narrow people’s personalities and make them very resistant to change

the brain after all, is starving

jason says he was talking to this guy on discord who has been seriously ill for four months

he can’t eat anything, he’s fasted with water and gatorade  —  he says everything he eats passes right through him  —  said he puked 10 times yesterday ?

his doctor said it might be gastroenteritis but they’re not sure, they haven’t done an endoscopy and they haven’t really discussed  IBS (irritable bowle syndrome)  or crohn’s  —  he says IBS has been a thought with the doctors

what i’m surprised is they told him to start taking probiotics, he hasn’t noticed any improvement with them so he hasn’t really been taking them

sounds like IBS though right ? not a stomach virus since it’s been going for so long

my  reply

yeah, bad IBS, gatorade is just a disaster area, it will be making the bowel problems much worse

he should cut out grains and potatoes entirely and read up on  the specific carbohydrate diet  and the  the biofilm carbohydrate diet

eggs boiled to just touching on hard are a good recovery food, shredded coconut can help with the microbiome, most probiotics have the wrong bacteria mixes and don’t work, pasturised fruit is a good source of carbs, etc, he has to do some reading and thinking

the net is full of  “ book zen ”  where they think you can develop some sort of understanding without going to/on retreats

what are you doing that you are trying to browbeat me into your opinion ?

just ask yourself

ufo’s are just a projection by crazies

what more do you need to know about it ?

men have fragile ego’s

that makes them manipulable by women

so they are always going to be in a state of trauma

the endless mire of scriptural discussion

its just infinity

to not much purpose

i’m dying

a brief glimpse of marvels

and then its over

i’m dying

a brief glimpse of marvels

and its over

a very  moving account  of the death of diana athill’s mother

another  recounting

the  midnight sun ,  you can see everything

but how long

can you go

 without sleep ?

the advantage vladimir nabakov had over his russian contemporaries like akhmatova and mandelstam is he was brought up  speaking english  and therefore linguisicially at home in england and america as a writer, whereas their facility  ‘ in russian only ’  kept the other great russian writers in the murderous stewpot of stalinism

brad warner won’t go the extra step

he was pricked  by this

and why ?  well you can see buddha is just another story, but he just won’t go there

why are you treating a translator’s opinion as what eihei actually said ?  dogen translations are characterised by a complete lack of philological work, without which you might as well be making it up, which of course they do

by contrast yoshida kenkō's  tsurezuregusa  translation by donald keene has much more philological depth and you can pick it by reading and how much more alien (as you would expect from a medieval culture) it sounds, this was written by a buddhist priest from kyoto only eighty years after dogen’s death and is one of the world’s most famous writings, on a par with war and peace, yet zennists never have heard of it, par for the course i’d say with their wilful ignorance

people just play the  “ infallible scripture ”  game with dogen translations, like what the fuck are you doing  pretentious morons ?

i am the synchronous child

synchronous with infinity

it doesn’t mean i find life pleasant

or i am hand in hand with god

all the same i am synchronous

its a gift

i am the synchronous child

synchronous with infinity

it doesn’t mean life is pleasant

or i am hand in hand with god

all the same i am synchronous

its a gift

one of the reasons olivia colman is such a great actress is she doesn’t remember the unecessary which gives her an intense focus on the relevant

effective memory is as much selective forgetting as well as remembering

there are a clutch of problems like the asinine-ness of liberal arts education in the universities and exorbitant prices being paid for modern art that is rubbish at best that must reflect a common root, but i don’t know what it is

its hard to believe  the bullshit  these two  “ experts ”  have put together

in all the millions of hours of videos or endless pages of nonsense on the web, one hardly ever sees any criticsm of the psychiatric system

the norm is women on ten meds wondering why they have all these systemic health problems and they get really nasty when you throw a bit of information about side effects to them

anita D. with  her poem    “ and the psych ward says ”

ideas about mediums and ghosts are a lot more blurry than people think

because and its easy to see

memory is  a ghost

eihei blending historicity with fiction

created a conundrum

and trap

for future


i was






cats recognise the ownership of food by other cats and  the growling  is signalling that boris  “ owns ”  that bread

alec guinness on  predicting  james dean’s death

the fatal trip

jean rhys  doesn’t think you can be happy and write

that’s true, it requires a certain lack of insight to be happy

a generation lost

to war, genocide or famine

and these days drugs

the generations after the next

carry on

as though

nothing happened

i don’t think any contact use should be unsupervised in the sense of not having check-ups

they are very invasive and more in the nature of a drug than glasses

neither rujing nor dogen advocated  “ just sitting ”

its a meiji fascist imperailist construct designed to creat pliant vessels for ultra nationalist dogma

moving the eyes to the extremes, left right, up down and diagonals seems to help with dry eyes, maybe because exercise helps reduce inflammation

other things to look at is the circadian rhythm being out of wack and excessive screen time

i feel like a three year old

at times

why grow up ?

why can’t i sit down and write a nice poem ?

something with cherry blossom

and candyfloss


and love

keep up the fiction

of life being pleasant fiction

how unreal

“ i’d be some sort of dream or illusion ”

where that came from i don’t know

the brain turns over

and dumps stuff

louise bourgeios  ( in quotes )

its about the torment of being an artist

“ the torment, but its absurd, its not a torment to be an artist, the premise is idiotic, is idiotic ”

its not a torment to be an artist its a privilege

my  reply

i’m not anything in particular, my torment is always my own

what to do for twelve billion years ?

the  life and times  of a galaxy

“ the calculation itself required 16,000 cores on the hazel hen supercomputer in stuttgart, working together, 24/7, for more than a year  —  the equivalent of fifteen thousand years on a single processor, making it one of the most demanding astrophysical computations to date ”

eihei dogen was certainly ambitious

the buddhism that is not buddism

he is trying without much success to fictionalise the nonsense of buddhism into something that makes sense in a similiar manner to milton, only milton is much more successful

the actual poem  lists  “ only ”  and  “ merely ”  i think emily means both words and you actually have two poems

In this short Life

that only lasts an hour

How much   —

how little   —

is within our power

In this short Life

that merely lasts an hour

How much   —

how little   —

is within our power

hoodwinked with fictions

the fictions hoodwink

priests gain a living and life crawls its deluded way

“ the unsurpassed aspiration for enlightenment ”

dogen spews his delusions

on a high cliff he tosses sincerity over

and makes a religion

“ what is life about ? ”

you have the question, why don’t you have the answer ?

“ i don’t have the answer ”

maybe you didn’t have the question either ?

my reply to emily dickinson’s  famous poem

you can tell the truth

but catch an ouroboros by the tail

its roughened skin will lacerate

and blood obscure the bail

look forward not behind

look behind, not forward



look and act

“ my father also said something about his digestive tract being raised up more towards his chest, because of these stomach problems, and that is also why he gets such bad acid reflux

it seems like heartburn, acid reflux, is so common  —  is that mostly a bad microbiome ? ”

my  reply

in large part, but he will also be screwing up the stomach and esophageal physiology with the drinking, quite possibly permanently

not to mention the cancer risk

to me complete abstinence from alcohol requires  chromium  supplementation, but this is well beyond most people

even i  (who am a teetotaller)  doesn’t have an absolute zero consumption, sometimes i add significant amounts of alcohol to cooking

an absolute limit of half a glass of red wine a day is a useful guide for those with a drinking problem, red wine  (cabernet sauvignon)  is the healthiest form of alcohol, absolutely no spirits and beer can be a problem with its yeast spores

the only real routine i have is lights out absolutely rigidly by 11.30 and going onto red led light and then muck around ,  do chores or  “ unpack ”  my head for about two hours, i sleep late, but really i could move the whole thing forward to  “ lights out ”  at say ten pm

jason  writes

supplements i’ve also lagged behind in, haven’t been able to afford the enzymes  —  but this past week i have gotten back into krill oil, vitamin D3, vitamin K2, taurine, folapro, and i took germanium once

my  reply

the only enzyme i am using now is the  afp-pep ,  i tip and mix one capsule in milk heated to about 68C then let cool to  60C before adding the enzymes

maybe two or three capsules used a week so the cost is not significant

just remember that krill oil, folapro and to a lesser extent vitamin D3 can be quite immune suppressing

yeah germanium can only be taken very occasionally, so again the cost is not significant

taurine has been a life saver for me and migraine

if you are not getting much exercise, lymph movement exercises are easy to do and helpful, i must do a video to show what i mean by this sometime

supplements diet, health, this must be the primary focus and requires ongoing finesse

yeah just focus on job skills, i’d forget the guru thing for quite a while

you can’t control things completely ,  all you can do is put things in place and see how it might slowly come together

everyone perceives you a bit differently, but it  averages out  accurately and actually your own perception of yourself at the neurological level is surprisingly consonant with this average

two of the most commercially successful books ever written ,  “ catch 22 ”  (catch 18 originally)  and  “ to kill a mocking bird ”  were just as much the products of a very interactive development with their editors as works by their writers

i don’t think either are what you might call  “ great literature ” ,  they are too accomodative to the rather bland thinking of  “ the masses ”  being in effect communal products and it shows

i always find  “ editing ”  interesting because i have to provide my own though very limited feedback from what i self-publish and taking part in message boards

i do think it works, but i don’t expect to ever be commercially successful

cape town where murderers and worse walk free, while a woman who  raised a child  in a happy environment gets ten years

brain blood flow decreasing with age is the dreadful  lowering  of the ceiling

the most dangerous and rather distressing thing about aging is how one falls into repeating patterns

the world moves on, but you don’t

the sea looks calm

why is it that one dodges

from one whirlpool

to the next ?

“ its my baby ”

well its his baby too

“ yes, but its my baby ”

who the hell are you ?

“ some-one else ”

who else ?

“ nobody ”

fat lot of use you are

“ that’s just the way it goes i am afraid ”


aggressive wimps

one touch in real life and they die

unlike the screen

zen had been reshaped during the meiji era to become a propaganda organ for the extreme nationalists and we know where that went

you can’t understand or have a real feeling for what zen is without going on retreats

the pretenders read rubbish and game and this supposedly is  “ zen ”

stick to gaming, it keeps you intellectually downsized

believe what you see and not much else

life is a strange place

it doesn’t work like we think it does

and we want to be aware of what is around us

what is the emptiness that is infinity ?


that slippery fish

frolicking on the shores of the unknown

and killed by the known

time stopped twice for me today

driving up the forth hill amongst all the leafy green

eating at the  ‘ charcoal chicken ’  with a rainstorm dropping bucketloads outside

i don’t look for more

 why is it so hard to see ?

women appear empty to themselves without occupation

hence the arising of the world’s troubles

alzhiemer’s disease can be driven by  the induction  of neuroinflammation by gut microbiome dysbiosis

you go through one on-line suicide attempt and you will never want any contact with the suicidal again

what is  this woman  thinking ?

absolutely the weirdest thing on the net is these people who follow me around, violently opposed to anything i say, yet copying me

it is so so disturbing, i really feel life is utterly fucked that this can happen, but history shows this happening all the time

“ i can’t say anything ”

i didn’t say that

 what did i say ?

humans work like this

any hint that the way we look at the world is flawed

results in the annihilation of that hint

it used to be, if you scratched a poet you would find tragedy

nowadays you don’t find anything


babbled nonsense floating over a serene lanscape




he can talk





wisdom dropped



the bucket

eihei dogen never actually got transmission from rujing, we know this because he tells us

the transmission document was forged and rujing actually was very anti-transmission, dogen’s version of  “ face to face transmission ”  is his fictionalisation of what in those times in china was very closely tied to becoming an abbot and having to get the transmission credentials to become abbot

i say underlying

i say overlying

i say infused



the mediocrites crawl over each other to suppress you

nothing gives them more joy than to have their hands around your throat and choke you

what is the real purpose of the net ?

a proselytizing platform for drug users ?

sometimes i wonder

the past has occurred

the future has yet to occur

i wouldn’t separate the present from either of these

if you win the game, don’t keep playing it

when you win the game, don’t keep playing it

my thinking on retreats

they push some doctrine on you that the plasticity induced by the retreat makes you susceptible to, it takes twenty to thirty years to get rid of this shit, most never do

it is basically cult behaviour with their hierarchies and behind the scenes promiscuity or worse

it takes a lot of preparation to make the most of a retreat and minimise the indoctrination aspect

i think the thing about a good writer is he doesn’t take life personally, that is so hard for the  “ norms ”  to understand

there seems to be an expectation that poetry should be easily understandable

however most of the great poets really bend one’s brain, edward lear is a good example of crossover

when you read interviews with good or great writers or their own writings, you see how open minded they can be, they are not trying to impose their view of the world on it

so i got a three day ban on r|poetry for some trumped up idiocy, i notice this with the message boards, you post for a while, the mods are asleep, then you make an impact and they start to curtail you simply because you write effectively

seen it happen so many times

one needs one’s own publishing outlet even though the readers are few

the stupid bastards

the pot calls the kettle black

the kettle calls the pot black

one boils water

the other boils things

even shades of black vary

a retreat is going to be no better than the preparation for it

you need a genuine spirit of inquiry

this can’t be manufactured

or faked

if you do this

wait until the next lifetime

the problem with retreats

is if you read and think junk

you are going to retreat junk

i’m not saying it doesn’t happen anyway

but it needs not to happen completely

the insolent young

in their prime or pre-prime

everything to look forward to

except getting old

kyrie eleison

i’m not such a hypocrite as to ask for mercy

actually i think  isobel  waller-bridge has it right, its a  war chant

artistic talent doesn’t confine itself to  one dimension

“ deep and meaningful ”  is an illusion

shallow puddles are fun to splash in, the deep drowns so most don’t go there

the morons only praise what they understand

the beauty  beyond





got tired of the usual vapid r|poetry comment

“ beautiful ”

my reply


beautiful ugly

ugly beautiful

ugly beautiful ugly

ugly ugly beautiful beautiful ugly

beautiful ugly beautiful ugly beautiful ugly ugly

and so on

women don’t change, though the dresses do

colorized  victorian/edwardian

the usual no reply, zennists are such cowards, the moment they don’t look so good, you can’t see them for dust

repairing a stove is like building a pc, you cover 80% of the ground of hardware knowledge needed for a general expertise

i think meister eckhart suffers from the usual problem of the religious

he attempts to create a philosophy of mysticsm outside the use of poetic language

it doesn’t work

the necessary bilingualism imposed by latin wouldn’t have helped

you didn’t quote me in full giving a misleading impression, its dishonest, what sort of person has zen made you, a stupid liar ?

there was a very inbred half grown feral kitten hanging around, not thrifty and susceptible to eye infections and being a real pest outside the front door

i finally and reluctantly decided to kill it, hitting it hard on the head with a short piece of  25mm diameter hardwood dowel

unfortunately it was only momentarily stunned and ran away, i probably would have intially shot it rather than hit it, but i didn’t want to disturb the men across the road in the yards

i found it again later in the day, clearly injured and  shot it

in its way, it was a person, it wasn’t its fault and it didn’t understand, not even running away when i found it again

i’ve been shooting feral game for years, never bothered me, this bothered me

i have traumatised myself

these not too bright borderline personality types on net messageboards seem to think sophist-style declamations substitute effectively for their failure to address content

what has zen done for them that they come across as not too bright borderline personality types ?

when i bail them and others ,  they all run away, what is that about ?

brad, why not stop treating eihei dogen in the manner of the catholics, that is ,  as a doctor of the church, ie an infallible promoter of the soto doctrine ? allow him to be wrong, off target or underdeveloped, i’m sure he will rest easier and so will you

then speak from your own experience and not be straight jacketed into nonsense

you can’t even be sure what dogen said because the translators are too lazy to any philological work

genuine transmission only occurs once a kalpa, the endless pretenders simply pretend, you bailed out early in the process, i don’t know why

women are stuck with a bit of a hormonal illusion

with the approach of menopause ,  the blinkers come off

the garden of time

out of time

translucent rhododendrons

glistening shrubs

towering gums

the grass

the sea

the mist of cataract

and finally me

in a way i don't think poetry is that interesting, its the experience that gives rise to it that is interesting

alcohol, such a hidden factor in so many drownings

i think almond milk is just a failed milk substitute

creates more problems than it solves, though as these things go, its not too bad

creating explanations

they avoid understanding

the insane

boring work has its advantages, complex work takes too much of your brain

a rounded teaspoon of taurine a day boosts the immune system in a way that is helpful with shingles

also putting 40% hydrogen peroxide on the first signs of an outbreak works

there’s so much random shit going on in my mind it makes

me wonder



random shit

the fallacy of soto zen

is that eihei dogen’s words represent an objective philosophy

that can be learnt

and that’s the end of the matter

but all that is the case is some views fit reality better

than others

its up to us to come up with our own philosophy

and observations that fit us

eihei was creating a religion

a failed religion

why should we do that ?

when some-one else is dying

there is always an element of

i’m not dying, you are

ha ha

ein sof

a kabbalist rinzai zen master

he runs away when i corner him

but he comes out with a big stick when i say something new

hits himself with it

then dies

if you’re locked into dealing with some-one you don’t trust, its important not to slip by familiarity into trusting them

the problem with writing better is you realise a lot of your earlier stuff was just preparatory to  “ writing better ”

it can be hard lesson, but there’s a disproportionate number of  “ not mentally right ”  people on the net nothing like what you would ever meet in real life, just don’t engage them, my god they are bruising

eihei dogen was actually very much a philosopher, people brush that aspect under the carpet

zazen will not make you think straight, what it shows you are your  “ theory of minds ”

you have to engage the philosophical aspect which means being a philosopher yourself and not simply a regurgitant of the usual pap

drug use seems to inevitably create  (for those round them to put up with)  a very wearing narcissism

old thoughts circle around and around


never come to ground

old thoughts circle round


never come to ground

the information on the web these days is so good its reasonable for a doctor to expect patients to research whatever medications or aliment they have

yet 99.9% of people on a prescription would never haved looked up its side effects

god said  “ let there be reality ”

reality said  “ let there be god ”

fair enough said god

reality blithely went on its way

poor males, their orgasms so meagre compared to the female one has to wonder why

all their lives as slaves in service to this

the principle problem we have as biological beings is not that of getting enough food or being killed or reproducing, but that of not misinterpreting the world

the world is unstable and generates its own misinterpretation constantly

women more than men are always chasing something

they scarcely stop, even on their last breath

how dangerous are bored women ?

can you get more dangerous ?

a poem should be a distillation of meaning and expressing something that can’t be said any other way

divorce or breakups, all you have to do is sit back and watch her go through the  “ boyfriends ”  and you realise it was nothing personal

old thoughts

circling around

and never landing

free verse

no verse


lewis said

take care of the sense

and the sounds will take care of themselves

the world is a mentalist construction

an illusory explanation imposed on a different working substrate

all the same there is no bottom turtle and the impostion may reflect the substrate better than the substrate

if you can’t win in real life, you can win in fantasy

the essene  fantasy epic

we live our lives on this gilded path

only if we look closely

its not so gilded

how much poetry matches the usual spruik ?

very little

“ you should give a talk ”

i’m not very good at guarding my tongue

“ perhaps you better not then ”

all the fakes

promote rumi

bad poetry

by and for the crazy

immaturity i think is more adventurous than maturity

life is the other side of suicide

the wrong side

why should i talk to you lot ?

you’ll just give me grief

you’ll discover what i really think and hate me for it

if the nature of conciousness is high entropy, then its inherently self-limiting and dissolutive

my objection to being multi-lingual is its a huge tax and  energy cost  with high entropy on the brain

there is nothing special about a language, ideas can be expressed in any langauge, that is all there is to it

the largest cultural influence today is the spread of english and its  “ universalization ”

what amazes me about the middle east is how many closed sectarian worlds form that last a huge number of generations

the religious straight jacket medieval art was constrained by creates a perverted view of reality

fuck you, cimabue, giotto

most people who write poetry are not cut out for it

even some of the famous

the public love junk

worst ad   “ for love ”  i have ever seen

when you are ill

things slow down

you can’t do much

in that space

things open up


there’s a sort of objectivity that springs from bitterness

there’s a sort of even mindedness that springs from bitterness

what will  ten years  do ?

they will pass quick enough

i think  “ supercompetence ”  is when you get to be able to take anything said in the subject of interest and extemporise on it or correct it

when i climbed uluru/ayeres rock there was no-one else on it, winds were very high and i jumped the fence, but actually its not that great, i preferred the olgas which had that mystical aura, ayres rock didn’t do anything for me

re   :   the banning on climbing it

the whole circus will play out

poeple getting guided on it for vast sums

young men doing it for the thrill

the local businesses losing considerable income and resenting it

just here


feeling like i am cacking out

what can i do


but wait it out

just here


feeling like i am cacking out

what can i do


doctors with a good bedside manner are not necessarily competent and doctors with a poor beside manner can be extremely competent

women seem to be somewhat blind to this dichotomy and strongly favour a good bedside manner to their detriment

bob dylan was such an outside choice for the nobel prize for literature you have to wonder why

well it turns out that at least two of the committee members had been betting indirectly through others on the winner for many years, knowing of course the outcome beforehand

bob dylan was such an outlier with poor odds that they made a real killing

funny how that never came through the media isn’t it

low probability winners explains most of the winners in the recent decade

well, giving such a big kitty away you’d want a share in it wouldn’t you ?

people don’t get the fundamental fact of web publishing

that there is no cost to more content

of course, what that  “ more ”  is ,  requires skill and measure

blythe baird reading  her poem  “ the kindest thing she almost did ”

the point about  “ singularities ”  in phsyics is that the non-singular systems really at the heart of the matter haven’t been discovered or elucidated yet

the most interesting problem of the  “ universe ”  is how such a functional set of laws and epistemology of matter was arrived at

we know from biology that really the only explanation is evolution acting on many possibilities and since there is tautologically no  “ god ”  at this level of semantic pragmatic co-herence, this theory of  reheating  may provide an explanation

that in this period you had possibilities for laws and simultaneous selection

“ reheating ”  allows for an existant universe

you know you have a bad virus when you don’t get out of your pajamas

the universal nature of viruses is astounding

posted  eleven days ago  and i have the same thing, its no doubt come down finally here from the very bad mainland flu season

sounds like i still have some days to go

fuck it

i fixed an overwide stove contact yesterday by clamping it closed while annealing it with a gas torch, one can still make progress apparently while ill

life is a mess

we are profligate with our prime




we are well designed for short and even long periods of starvation, an exceptional evolutionarily designed ability

if i feel ill or have a migraine, i just fast

whales have huge brains, why were they so vulnerable to whalers ?

all they had to do was swim horizontally underwater away from the whalers, yet for the lack of this several species were driven almost to extinction

writing creates a world




 world ?

writing creates a world

what is


 world ?

writing creates a world

what is

that world ?

writing creates a world

what is that world ?

“ bitching behind people’s backs ”  the no. 1 new zealand trait, first thing you notice is the knife between your ribs, for a small country the power politics are quite russian

sadly konrad marchaj/ ryushin has not got any less crazy since being expelled as a heretic from the zen monastery at mt. tremper

asyschusa  showed him that zen was all bullshit, but he just seems to have fallen into another form of bullshit


you’d think life has enough mental illness, but no, the web has more

i twigged to  the problems  of titanium dioxide as food additive years ago

go fuck your gut all the creepy  “ all approved additives are ok ”  idiots

“ TiO2 significantly impacts gut homeostasis

These changes were associated with colonic inflammation, as shown by decreased crypt length, infiltration of CD8+ T cells, increased macrophages as well as increased expression of inflammatory cytokines.

These findings collectively show that TiO2 is not inert, but rather impairs gut homeostasis which may in turn prime the host for disease development ”

a gamer

on the net

doyen of digital constructs

emperor of whatever world

when they come to using english

they are muddled

can't think straight

reason beyond attitude

step out of their hubristic selves

emperor of what world ?

scientology has a belief system, sacred texts, a prophet, a hierarchy, a methodology, gatherings

i can’t see how you can’t say its a religion

scientology has a belief system, sacred texts, a prophet, a hierarchy, a methodology, gatherings

i really can’t see how you can say its not a religion

an interesting  insight  on the anime industry with real japanese people

if you are not careful, you can develop a general content problem on the web, seeing too much crazy bullshit, there’s a sane world out there if you can recognise it

the net disguises crazy people, its difficult to tell in writing

you really have to be careful of getting involved with r|zen, the effect of the censorship is insidious, you start to narrow your horizons because that's what the censorship is doing, like i notice now i am getting back much more into poetry which is healthy and i am thinking straighter in a life-sense because of not posting there anymore

the plus side of r|zen is it keeps really toxic arseholes out of one’s hair, i have banned most of them from  zen_mystical  otherwise the place would be overrun with those turds

r|zen is useful in learning about dealing with the insane, but the other side is you get too bruised and constricted by them, its damaging

one day you realise

not everybody looks at reality the same way

in fact

the difference

is unfathomable

if i let the whole world go

where am i

 going ?

if i let the whole world go

where am i

 meandering ?

the special effects are in  inverse proportion  to the hackneyed clichéd plot only retards could be happy with

today’s audience i am afraid

religion is the attempt to make literature real

this it effectively does by excommuncation, execution, torture, estrangement, insanity, ostracism, gaslighting  —  it gets very real

“ a hallmark of  intergroup biases  is the tendency to individuate members of one’s own group but process members of other groups categorically ”

stone don’t lie

you can see the grey layer of the  asteroid created  cretaceous-palaeogene boundary towards the top of the photo

repair is actually the highest benefit form of recycling

brad warner is obsessed with wanting to counter some trends in western buddhism

my reply to him

some of the commenters  here  occasionally act like they own this blog and want to control it in a way that would be appropriate to their owning the blog, only its yours and not theirs

you don’t think you are trying to do the same thing to buddhism ?

how many versions of christianity are there and have there been ?

thousands i would guess, interestingly some of the modern variants owe quite a bit to the rewriting of christianity by john milton and actually islam is a rewriting of nestorian christianity

because religions are just the pretence of random nonsense being meaningful, then they are always going to schism in their search for deeper meaning

if western buddhism is looking for deeper meaning in modern academic and populist political paradigms now sexual abuse is no longer permissible how can an individual try to control that ?

why would they want to ?


as empty

as the air

buddhism, as empty as the air


as empty

as air

buddhism, as empty as air

what is this describing ?

“ the increased risk ranged from a five-fold increase in alzheimer’s disease, through an approximately four-fold increase in motor neurone disease, to a two-fold parkinson’s disease in former professional xyzers compared to population controls ”

hard to believe but  its soccer

of course the senior management are already demented so there will be no rule changes until the sport has significantly lost new enrollments

unlike american football which is an unabashed gladiator sport so the players are disposable

blue light has a neurological and systemic  aging effect

are vegans more likely to get cancer ?

they could be

T-cells need a lot of energy to defeat fast growing cancers and in fact are in competition with the tumor cells for  “ metabolic fuel such as glucose, amino acids, and lipids, which can be limiting ”

“  creatine  is a critical molecule buffering ATP levels in cancer-targeting CD8 T-cells through maintaining a readily available high-energy phosphate reservoir ”

religion can never go anywhere because its foundations are insane

religion can never go anywhere because its foundations are insanity

its interesting that jesus is mythical and  pontius pilate  is not

however the bible take on him may have some justice though he seems a thoughtless man, but the romans in some degree appeased the temple cult

jason  writes

i was going to message ice poseidon on twitter

ice is struggling now with 500 viewers  —  yeah he was getting about 30,000 last year

ice is a big fan of lil uzi vert  —  i was going to message him on twitter pointing out that lil uzi vert doesn’t make music anymore, that the drugs and the girls caught up to him

well i didn’t message him because i’m taking my own advice not giving unsolicited advice

i’ve done some drugs too, not hard drugs like ice and lil uzi have  —  but what i think has let me survive is not having a girlfriend, which they both had

even worse for them their girlfriends were toxic

technology has meant there is an unparalleled  reconstruction  of the past occurring, way more coherent and accurate than was ever previously possible so in a sense we have an over-developed notion of the certainty of time

lana del ray

i think i’d be happy doing anything at this point

cort johnson

ever dug a ditch ?


that’s the whole point of being a woman, some-one else digs the ditch and she pushes him in and another man covers the first with dirt

twenty percent of people prescribed opiates become addicted

hmm, according to  this study , its better to be single in than in anything less than a high quality relationship

bella depaulo

the most amazing thing about the japanese effort in WW2, was that such a small country was so  well prepared  to fight the russo-japanese war again

that’s a lot of hardware and lives at the bottom of the ocean

viggo mortensen  gets roasted  for using the  “ n-word ”

let me use the n-word

nigger, nigger, nigger

no-one is going to give me the slightest attention, not a tweet or net comment

i feel inadequate

the oddest thing about being the 7th patriarch is i keep coming across things that fit, otherwise i would ditch it, its not that important to me

i was working through the implications of shakyamuni buddha being a synthetic myth and not a real historical figure and i realised that in fact since he is not historical and buddhism does depend on him being historical whatever they say, then zen which is essentially a deconstruction of buddhism no longer has a purpose, for it to be meaningful it must move to a broader contemporary deconstruction which in fact i do and always have done, therefore i am the patriarch of this new zen which fits with a jump from the 6th patriarch to me

in previous generations it was just entertainment

now its the faux-spiritual plus entertainment


“ my girlfriend has a reoccurring dream where she is in a hotel floating around, she feels bewildered and confused, she will try and find her room but she doesn’t know why she is looking for her room or where it even is, she just knows she needs to find it, something she had yet to do

every now and again she will be looking for the toilet in the hotel instead but just like the room, she is yet to find it

the hotel doesn’t always look the same ”

you’re the wrong room, wrong hotel even

“ there was one bit in chapter fourteen of the martyrdom of  polycarp  that i just had to sit there and ask  “ why does this sound like the christians are wanting to eat polycarp after he was killed ? ”

chapter twelve said that when polycarp was burning alive, he smelled like bread being baked in an oven

it then spoke in chapter fouteen of christians coming to partake, or share in, or commune with, the corpse of polycarp, following his death by being stabbed after not dying from burning alive ”

its not unknown in some religions for a revered person to be eaten when they die

the story sounds like some mythic amalgam  and not historical ,  but the eating of polycarp may well relate to some religion there

a downvote is way more successful than an upvote, you have offended the usual reddit creepy-crawley

poor sylvia

the poppies flare

the cornflowers blaze








don’t be fooled by other people’s stupidity

downvotes on reddit are like a bluffing bid in a card game, you call it by not paying it any attention and since they never show their hand by replying, you have shown their hands to be valueless

there’s a lot of videos on the web of interviews with performers of some sort or other, actors, actresses, various artists, writers, people may be intelligent but they usually lack real artistic insight, the few that have that insight stick out, like emma thompson picking up on  effie grey  who is a very interesting intersection of the pre-raphaelites or like tracey emin who can  talk so well

there’s so many of the intelligent, but they are just too ordinary, kate beckinsdale and the like, faux abnormal but so shackled by the chains of convention and appearance

you wouldn’t believe it,   a photo  by lewis carroll of effie, john millais and their daughters

you can’t change that amount  of skin  without getting a disease of sorts

time will show


a dreamer

fake worlds

without substance

jason writes

i’m way more cautious giving unsolicited advice now

why empower my enemies ?

what stands out to me is the lack of useful help sylvia plath ever got, a needy woman with two young children and everyone just walked away

be careful about other people’s opinions on your weight, the fat want everybody else to be fat

overweight people complain about being socially ostracised, but what they don’t get it is it is a disease state

the one time in my life i effectively did an extended water fast was as a young adult with a persistent flu and it was for maybe a bit more than week from what i can remember

i was in bed all that time and the flu cleared up

i doubt i am ever going to do an extended fast again because that was an unusually bad flu and i don’t need to loose weight, the real value of an extended fast is the research shows that you need to do this to lose substantial amounts and keep it off, ie a drastic remedy for what the research  (again)  shows is a disease state

the other benefit of extended fasting is cellular rejuvination at the stem cell level, but i don't think i would ever be bothered to go to the trouble of fasting for that, though who knows

so for extended fasting i have very limited experience and i was ill as well, one does become weaker which is what you would expect

if you were fasting when you were basically well, i suspect you would try to keep doing as much as possible in terms of living  “ the daily life ” ,  but i can’t really comment as i have never done that

gutting a wallaby

the feral cats

a sea of fur

gutting a wallaby

feral cats around

a sea of fur

i make a poem

one line






social learning has a bad obverse

a bunch of useless attitudes that come from quite an empty space

every second hubric idiot

writes poetry

i couldn’t say it was bad

you have





chris isaak feat and lana del rey sing  wicked game

nothing fits

i am outside the world

madonna in the snow

christ in the desert

contradictions abound

time has passed before i began

i rock into the void

  a quote  from johann goethe i quite like

we do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe

what you  can catch  from cats

if you are a very big dinosaur, one of your problems is getting  enough shade  from the hot sun

the surest way to get an OP downvoted on reddit is make a criticism of marijuana use

the pestilence of drug users apart from the incompetence, thievery, lying and hassle they spread everywhere is their insatiable missionizing

because knowledge about the writer informs the reading and enriches the associations, the academic notion that reading a text is independent of knowledge about the author is the stupidest fallacy one could imagine and symptomatic of the very deep hole of incompetence that university studies of literature have fallen into

however there is a case for the writer himself not being completely informed, or even mistaken about his or her’s own work

so readers of a work, you are potentially up there with the author in making informed criticsm and interpretations of the work

in mice  this research  says that the genetic aspects of the innate and adaptive immune systems are the dominant  “ controllers ”  of the microbiome

“ when the researchers looked into how these different immune mechanisms shaped the microbiomes of the recipient mice, the researchers saw that while adaptive immunity had some effect on certain strains of bacteria, overall the effects were not dramatic

in some cases, bacteria even took advantage of the adaptive immune response to thrive

instead, the majority of the differences they saw could be attributed to innate polymorphic genes, or different variations of genes in the MHC ”

laser pointers  are fatal  to the retina

there’s a lot of art by  “ the insane ”  on the web, some of it is very good, well executed technically and highly involved, but i would have to say these works lack thematic depth, unlike anne sexton or sylvia plath

virginia woolf had relatively clear divisions between her periods of sanity and insanity, but she said that she got a lot of insight from her insane periods

this woman known for the strength of her swimming having to load a coat with stones so she would drown in the river ouse

i wonder if modern psychiatric medications have meant no more poets like  anne sexton  ?

anne and sylvia, that raw overt suicidality

or would they have passed their lives in a talentless marijuana haze ?

edit  :  since what i wrote is being misinterpreted let me say i’m implying the medication itself and reduced suicidiality lessens or annihilates the quality of the poetry

that a different and talentless trajectory is created

sylvia  says

she can’t put a toothbrush in a poem











still not a poem

poor woman she sounds like she is breaking up

the best  explanation  of a cutting edge i have ever seen

“ everything is of preference and poetry is no exception ”

the problem is the limitation of our own preference

its like a wall we cannot see, but hides so much beyond it

i think a consumer might look at poetry in terms of like or dislike, but i look for new ideas and expression ability

so i never run out of reading since the above is infinite, what is short is the time in my life

an inexpensive  short film ,  way better than the usual costly rubbish, written with sensitivity by greta nash

quality can have an inverse relation to the budget

so i’m gonna be weird again, or what some people might find weird

i went to bed early with a migraine almost cleared up, but not dropping off to sleep and had this vision

a woman partly? clothed in a pleated?/sere? /flowing/dali-esque robe with a naked baby or young child just sort of floating in front of her and she also floating above some sort of deck or platform high up in a mountain, possibly surrounded by snow laden firs

it looked down  (from very high up)  on an unfrozen lake and on further behind the lake, snow covered mountains extending forever

i wonder if this is something to do with the migraine, a flood of chemicals through the brain ?

this is what mysticism is, a momentary yet paradoxically timeless glimpse of a more intense, true world, without them you will never understand, but deny and make pathetic incoherent images in the dust which is what the pretenders do

they have no certainty, only visions provide certainty

i couldn’t make up this stuff if i tried, i can see where some of the imagery came from, mountain photos and videos, my own travels, renaissance  ‘ madonna and child ’  art and dali’s  ‘ the madonna of port ligat ’ ,  of which  (dali’s)  it can be seen somewhat as a correction of, more unitary

just when you think you will be migraine-free for the rest of your life

the thunder rolls in

not epilepsy

not dementia

just pain

to write good stuff

you have to escape the trajectory of the mediocre

which crowds down on you

for escaping

polymath is another name


getting spread too thin

the maoris

a sea people

traversing from the glistening tropics

to a rather cooler land

not quite at home

i’m never going to write another homily or poem

i have more important things to do

so i write another homily or poem


emily sails on a breeze of thought

of summer’s highs and winter’s troughs

the empyreal and her garden

 one wonders exactly where is she ?

ed.  this came to mind on reading her poem  “ as imperceptibly as grief ”

emily sails on a breeze of thought

of summer’s highs and winter’s troughs

the empyreal and her garden

where is she ?

poetry is simple

you are just knitting a bunch of associations together

now comes the hard part


the world makes sense in terms of  “ the prime ”

once you edge out of the prime



he asks for a poem about schizophrenia

show me one

 without ?

it damaged me to read that poem

the writer of course


the writer asked for more explanation so i followed with saying it had bad imagery

basically it doesn’t say anything, its a mess and its not really a poem

a good poem should attract under its own power even if you don’t fully understand it

there’s a difference between a mess and something that has power, but is not understandable

a poem should have a holistic entity

it really helps to read a lot of well known poets

i don’t think you ever reach a ceiling in writing because it is content driven and as we know, semantics just goes on and on, but you can’t step outside semantics

its the denial of the literary nature of religion that astounds me, people making life choices on the script of what is bad soap opera

bene navigavi cum naufragium feci

my life was wonderful except for the disasters

its interesting to compare heidegger with  nietzsche

one a dull murderous and completely obscure pedant

the other gentle in his skepticisms and understandable

which one does the academic philosophy world prefer ?

no surprise is it ?

to argue about the interpretation of a translation is to argue about the interpretation of an interpetation

those who just do not or will not get the problem step into mental illness

what might be arguably the world’s most famous poem  —  “ i wandered lonely as a cloud ”  by willam wordsworth  owed an awful lot to his sister’s  diarying  of the walk by the lake in question

interestingly at the spot he is talking about  (glencoyne bay, ullswater) ,  the daffodils are now of a variety that is coloured differently, who knows what happened there

ullswater from gowbarrow  photochrome

is complaining about overthinking, over or under-replying ?

is complaining about overthinking over or under-replying ?

is complaining about overthinking, underthinking ?

is complaining about overthinking, overthinking ?

all the world is a vast ,  badly behaved stupidity

it doesn’t work the way we require it

i’m not sure that’s a stupidity

i think writing is the integration of a lifetime

it is not necessarily a forward progression in time

wolfgang goethe does not come across as that likeable as a person, but when he writes, there’s some magic that is difficult to explain

i always find tracy emin an education  to listen to

donna summer  “ i feel love ”  ,  the start  of trance

the way its mixed, the voice comes through better with headphones

giorgio moroder  is interesting

the world turns  in on itself  and just generates more of itself

cocks love vaginas

vaginas love cocks

between the two

 what will happen ?

servants of a deep drive


are changed


 not ?

ed.  i wrote the first four lines and then went for my two hour afternoon sleep thinking i might just repeat those lines with the obvious inversion, but when i woke up the other lines came out making quite a different poem

you can think things

that to say them

would cause trouble

the madmen of r|zen

in their psychward subreddit

not quite a horde

they just behave like it

there is one beside me

outside of me

inside of me

i don’t know who that is

what i have noticed is that writers in any language all pretty much sound the same

its just that way of looking at things

reflective, discursive, questioning, skeptical, ironic

on the one hand you need to focus to get anything done

on the other if you don’t look around you will get eaten by what you are not paying attention to

you don’t think the roots of the  “ opiate crisis ”  are in people proxying their health entirely over to medications and not paying any attention to diet, exercise and learning to think for themselves

that this  “ crisis ”  has its roots in a deeper social failure, not the least of which is the education system ?

the full moon

the forests

the mists on the flats

the circle goes around again

but i no longer engage it

the full moon

the forests

the mists on the flats

the circle goes around again

but i don’t engage it

the first line of sylvia plath’s poem  “ apprehensions ”

there is this white wall, above which the sky creates itself  —  infinite, green, utterly untouchable.  angels swim in it, and the stars, in indifference also

my  reply

were the angels that indifferent ?

they loved you, but a female mind bent on its imperatives placed you beyond them

a wider, more sceptical reading would have helped

last night, on going to bed i had a sorta hypnagogic vision

as clear as daylight i saw an asian/egyptian? face/head, male but somewhat androgynous, good looking maybe 25 or so with a mole or piercing on the left side of his face, i had the impression of a past time and religious context

where did it come from ?

its was strikingly original, a  “ meta ”  synthesis, not something i would have cooked up in a million years, yet obviously it had come from me

its was a startling synthesis but i can see its origins in watching a video that day of figuring out if a woman was asian or not and other experience garnered over much longer time, but there’s part of my brain that’s hidden to me that has far greater competence than i am aware of

later that night i had a dream involving me being threatened by  crocodiles

its like digging up an overgrown garden

going back through the past

figuring out what was significant

or why

its like digging up an overgrown garden

going back through the past

figuring out what was significant

and what wasn’t

what amuses me about cardinal pell’s trial and appeals for paedophile offences is the way his very expensive defense team is convinced of his guilt and doesn’t hide their opinion

the vatican must have been crazy to send him back to australia and he had done them a big favour with his work on the vatican finances

cardinal john henry  newman  converted to catholicism about 1843, roman catholicism was by then on a surge of the wave of homosexuality leading to it becoming dominant in the church rather than the token celibacy and de facto marriages of the catholic clergy for most of its history

so he’s now a saint. a productive competent man, but only the homosexuality can explain the insanity of his life, which from that point of view is not insane at all

this is not to be taken as a diatribe against homosexuality, but an exposition of the substantial change in the character of the roman catholic church which is now in disarray, run by old men unable to adapt without any competent younger men like newman coming through because their doctrine is so out of sync with the modern world

the only type of thinking i am any good at is that which the world works to crush out in you any suspicion that it has any value

the only type of thinking i am any good at is that which the world works to crush out any suspicion in you that it has any value

i don’t think really good poems make sense

i noticed that with emily dickinson

you can pull the poem apart

but the bits don’t add up to what it means

“need HELP searching for a dark/creepy/haunting/sad short poem ”

he wants a creepy





he just wrote it

as you get older, nostalgia





if we look at the way reality really works compared

to how it paints itself as working

the disjunction therein

what does it mean ?

nothing satisfies or is without flaws that turn it inside out

the causes of autoimmune dry eye disease

as an inflammatory response neutrophils extrude strands of DNA to form webs on the surface of eyes affected by dry eye disease

in this  new study ,  the researchers identified ACPAs  (anti-citrullinated protein autoantibodies)  as another cause of eye inflammation that also contributes to the development of these webs in a vicious cycle of inflammation

comas ,  unconciousness and   near death experiences   are meaningless states

the best that can be said of intelligence is he/she is quite smart about somethings and quite stupid about others

the schizophrenia of the world

everything re-made in its own image

typhoons, versus hurricanes versus cyclones

different names for almost the same thing in  different regions

i really find tracey emin good value,   she can talk , she has a good understanding, drawers like  this fellow  can’t understand the difference between her and them, their technical competence and not much else versus her intellectuality

the thing about history

is it extends your range of experience

not what happened just yesterday or last week or ten years ago

but a thousand years ago

you get a skepticism

borne of long experience

i cannot conceive

of a need

to go  “ sit ”  with people

edit   :   well, this is what i did when i started zen and it improved my social skills which were in need of it, but after a while the general  “ wrong-mindedness ”  of people becomes an impediment, unpleasant and a drag

you outgrow them and they don’t outgrow you

the moonlit landscape seems truer than in daylight

the colours and textures



washed out

there’s nothing really

 is this the way things are ?

this cup or that cup

long lists of names or teams

neatly printed on varnished wooden panels

in the school hall

back to 1925 and earlier

it meant something for a while

but not now

“ fans ”  don’t seem to be bothered by the surrogate-ness of it all

what peter hanke  said

in a good way, not only in a bad way i was astonished, it was very courageous of the swedish academy, this kind of decison

what he really meant

i’m surprised they gave the nobel prize to a genocidal slav fascist

well done nobel prize committee, from the frying pan into the fire

well at least this time they gave it to some-one interested in the prize, their usual pattern of choosing slightly better than mediocre writers of some public standing is the only continuity

once they warm up, this 2015  interview  of peter and win wenders is better

the whole thing about  “ the spiritual path ”  is you are building something, but its also native

it has to match reality, but reality isn’t sufficient so it also has to be built in the imagination

this is where just about everybody goes wrong, they either import some communal fictional trash and so get beaten to death by those idiocies or they create their own schizophrenic structures completely untested in terms of internal consistency or fitting  “ reality ”

when people are antagonistic towards you

all you can do is step away



them burn uselessly

IOL’s are  prosthetics , there’s always problems with prosthetics, these opthamologists recommending lens replacement with minimal cataract to eliminate the inconvenience of glasses are misguided at best and mercenary at worst

the vast majority of people with digestive problems don’t want to get into the real complexity of resolving them

there are  answers ,  but its a lifetime’s work to sort out, that’s the reality

the other road is malnutrition, cancer, nasty gut operations and bad med side effects, a road which by default most seem to want to take rather than think and experiment

the education system has created a mindset of oversimplified  “ packaged ”  solutions with no mental effort required, i remember elaine gottschall saying that she wouldn’t have framed the SCD the way she did, but a more complex approach wasn’t palatable

past life’s prime

don’t let me whine

i don’t have the energy

my voice sounds crackly

my smile lacks teeth

or should i say  “ grimace ”  rather

beauty is for the young

narcissism needs roots

to want to repeat itself

we the fading

only want to fade

one thing about the insane i have noticed is they never tire of each other’s company

 where am i ?


watching the sea

it rolls over me

being in the prime of life is one perspective

not being in the prime of life is another

 which is truer ?

just goes to show that truth isn’t everything

 or is it ?

if you read the whole bible including the apocrypha its obviously a literary work with interspersed and difficult to discern factuality that modern archeology is helping uncover

i don’t think you can read the whole bible and remain christian, which is of course, why they never do

umm, poetry is  “ the dismal art ”

there’s nothing necessarily wrong with using clichés in poetry, but they should be  “ embedded ”  so to speak and contribute positively to the overall meaning

vanity publishing

the million speaking like the million

give me



longish retreats like the zen seven day  “ sesshin ”  will be too traumatic if jumped into without any prior experience

i had at least nine months of doing a weekly group   “ sit ”  of an hour and a half’s zazen before doing my first sesshin and that background made the retreat very productive

i’m not a believer in the soto line of doing endless retreats ,  rather they have something to teach you which you should be able to pick up on

the major problem with retreats is the way the organising groups use the opportunity to   “ imprint ”  participants with whatever doctrine they are promoting, the only real protection against this is wide reading of quality literature

if something seems paradoxical or inconsistent to you, search for the underlying rationality, it will surprise you

writing to some extent is a remedy for the impaired  short term memory  of schizophrenia which explains why so much of the net and writing is outright crazy

impaired brains scribing the same useless circles over and over again

tell me oh moon what should i do ?

“ where i shine i shine ”

“ tell me oh moon what should i do ? ”

where i shine i shine

there’s some really good quality  computer games  around, but its laying waste generations intellectually

you see it all over the web, entitled idiots who can’t think their way out of what ever jejune immersive worlds they crib their life experience from

cutscene ,  you learn something new everyday

sometimes i feel a million miles away from any poetry writing space

then something comes along

not this time

i’m always impressed by how much competent  expertise  sits within the walls of the british museum

from crocodile mummies to cuneiform and  babylonian  history

he wakes to dream

and dreams to wake

men are less concious of gender than women

to their disadvantage

there is something that is all

and is not

 how can that be ?

i don’t feel comfortable

taking charge

of anything

“ a good way to avoid getting into arguments is remember, you cannot argue with stupid

you cannot change peoples minds, and also ask yourself do you really want to be a broken record and keep repeating yourself ?

do you really want to argue with someone stupid ?

do you really want to argue with someone who can't be bothered to be listening and just keep twisting what you are saying and putting words in your mouth ?

this thinking has saved me from internet drama and kept me out of trouble ”

my re-translation of the poem  ‘ during sleep ’  by michizō tachihara

the moon is shining through the window

and my room otherworldly still

(yes, that’s how it was)

in the moonlight a bird is flapping its wings

scattered pollen glistens.

then, pulling my black cap back over my brow,

i slowly looked

somehow i'd been dreaming

(i know)

my  reply

he wakes a dream

a dream he wakes

reggie ray gets  a roasting

why these people line up to give their lives away to frauds i do not know, the real work is unpalatable to them and they only validate the sort of crap reggie goes in for and then years later they complain, not of having being duped, but being discarded as oppositional or no longer useful

cults are dependent on their real organisational dynamics being concealed and the net with its easy publishing of grievances is breaking that concealment down

the most fundamental question is  “ why ? ”

why is there a  “ beyond ”  from which perspective everything makes a sense that eludes us in our day to day lives

why is there a magical reality beyond of which we are some fragmented vision ?

why ?

one hundred million

about how many wrong ideas i accumuluate over a lifetime

one million

about how many i sort out

nanoparticle and  toxic hell  they pay to get !

ikkyū sōjun wasn’t a buddhist and in fact was celibate up until about thirty

he was an iconclast and artist/writer in the context of buddhism which is quite different from   “ believer ” 

he was rejecting zen in favour of art and life and again you have to be careful of western cultural biases in translations of his poetry

zen is mostly fakes and stupids, then as now

you can sorta see how jorge luis borges’ short story  the book of sand  influenced gabriel garcía márquez’s  “ one hundred years of solitude ”  and even possibly chris van allsburg’s  “ jumanje ”

“ ell emm ”  has a nice reading voice, the music could be more muted in relation to the voice

two very good lucille ball skits, several videos on from the start of the first video, two women in pink wrapping sweets on a production line, then the next video where lucille is the  “ vitamin and vegamin girl ”  slowly getting drunk on the alcoholic content of the elixir 

the  colourising  really gives another visual dimension

we live a dream

a flickering film of past events

real and imagined





is life

writing is a form of thinking so even if nobody else reads it, it still provides value

upvotes and downvotes on reddit are not symmetrical

if you are upvoting you are saying its substantially right so further comments are to a certain extent superfluous

downvotes however are a bluff because you have not said what the problem is with the OP or comment you are downvoting

if the commenter or OP ignores you by not mentioning the downvotes then he’s called your hand and if you don’t comment then its a fair inference you have nothing to show

there’s a lot happening in supposedly quiet shadows

“ spandex ”  is an anagram of the word  “ expands ” 

why i think  “ enlightenment ”  is only available to celibates

because essentially it is a massive insight, then you are faced with the problem of distinguishing it from  “ ordinary ”  insight

its that the enlightenment experience traverses you through an infinity of worlds and all time, so how would you get that ?

its the meshing of us being in a restricted form of infinite reality with life that is quite meaningless in conventional terms, ie childless

its particularly empty vacant lives tipped by the difference into infinity

that’s really what is a bit special about people like eihei dogen

i have to say its very rare, zen today is a transmission of fakes

migraine with aura  rendition 

the  “ upset circuitry ”  in the brain must be very spatially localised

it always amazes me with artists, musicians, writers and composers how they can have deep deep talents in some areas, preternatural almost and be so away with the fairies in others, especially the semantic intellectual

it amazes me with artists, musicians, writers and composers how they can have deep deep talents in some areas, preternatural almost and be so away with the fairies in others, especially the semantic intellectual

if you look at islam in terms of culture and society, ISIS is not islam at all, but a re-invention in the mould of the cultural revolution and stalinism

to watch artists like tracey emin talking about themselves and their work can be a massive shortcut to upgrading your social sophistication and skills

five minutes of watching  this video   =    100 years of gaming

its the nature of politics to go through extremes and if the system is functional, recover

so i was in town yesterday  (saturday)  for my fortnightly shopping trip and always the big problem is getting a decent lunch without additives or wheat flour

that rules out any pies, macdonalds, subway and just about everything else actually

however there was a coffee shop that i have never been to that also sells restaurant type meals so i waited till the crowds had left  (the best places are always busy)  and had a lunch of too much chicken, with deliberately burnt cauliflower and raw spinach leaves

the cauliflower was actually tender and the three or four spinach leaves i ate were palatable, though i wasn’t game to eat all of them

i left one piece of chicken uneaten as the serving was too large and would have to say that wasn’t a bad lunch and i feel better today for it, rather than ingesting who knows what modified food and additives

i may go again

people would have a lot less trouble with islam if they understood it was a form of nestorian christianity designed to solve some of the theological problems with trinitarian christianity

muhammad being only a prophet and not god himself does offer a theological route out of very thorny woods, unfortunately in practice he becomes the only avenue to god which brings back the usual problems

st. francis who had travelled in islamic culture had a very high opinion of islam

in my view the islam we see today is somewhat a twentieth century reinvention, and lacks the subtlety and cosmopolitan-ness of the islam that maintained the social fabric of great empires

i can see i am a bit schizophrenic because of the extraordinary effort i have to go to to untangle the mistakes in my thinking

if i didn’t do that i would be in some shoddily constructed la la land

one of the advantages of  “ lifetime ”  employment as a librarian for philip larkin was it enabled the poetic  “ observational mode" outside working hours which he employed with his usual  intensity

the downside is that he never really had the time or interest to explore the areas of life that would eventually kill him, his drinking and general diet and health and somewhat toxic social and sexual life

lana del ray is interesting, some-one that transits in and out of commercial competence, veers between train wrecks and the truely lyrical

this  photo  doesn’t work, whatever  “ creative advice ”  she uses is hopeless, she is all the talent that is around her, she should trust her own thinking more

of course the truth could be sadder, she is trusting her own thinking

i’m not sure jordan perterson is not insane

if i have to  re-write  something more than three times i throw it away as not being right in the first place

“ there’s something to say ”

what ?

“ the problem is its best not said to people ”

yes, that is a problem

what a man  looked like , 10,000 years ago in jericho

apart from the skull which was bound at birth, he looks very modern levantine

r|zen squabbles over  “ the real meaning  “  of zen

basically its a schizophrenic activity to try and conscript a meaning of a word for yourself away from the public domain meaning

interestingly, my being the seventh patriarch is in accordance with public domain understanding of   “ dharma inheritance ” 

why it is so important to identify when you are dealing with schizophrenia is that you are spending your time involved with something irrational past the point of futility

the chinese have the right idea

limiting the family size

otherwise the rabbit genes






it looks and sounds like english

i should understand it

it speaks to me

but i can’t

so i get upset

love is a machine

that doesn’t let up

love is a machine





you don’t have to think about death

you only have to think about not being here

same thing

women don’t think about perpetuating the species

they think about what’s theirs and what is not

that perpetuates the species

russian does not translate well into english

michizō tachihara’s poem  “ at the park ”

whenever i watch a fountain

someone beyond the spray

watches it, too

here, more than anywhere else in town

afternoon sun softly lights up someone’s back

as time cavorts calmly with the wind

my reply

the fountain sprays the loss of time

i drift in the sun’s glinting on the water

be careful of what the wind takes away

i wouldn’t say rumi was complete crap

“ thou gatherest up thy garment lest the water should wet it   :  needs must thou a plunge a thousand times in the sea.  love’s way is all lowliness and drunkenness   :  for the torrent runs down: how should it run upward ? ”

but the eastern and islamic culture reallly doesn’t translate at all into the western associations and value systems so it just looks like what it generally is, spacey not quite nonsense

“ be helpless, dumbfounded, unable to say yes or no.  then a stretcher will come from grace to gather us up ”

well the stretcher didn’t come for shams-i tabrizi who was murdered by rumi’s son and the body never found

his bones will still be where they were buried somewhere around konya

the vast landscape of inanity, supported by stupidity

supported by what ?

i can’t even guess

the  “ spiritual ”  world

either rumi was so clichéd original thoughts were alien to him or the translations are so bad, they give that impression

the last two stanzas of sappho’s fragment 31 is the world’s most famous description of female orgasm

obviously men aren’t in the running

the golden ratio is a simple increment that is easy to implement from a genetic point of view to maximise  “ packing ”  efficiency

it would make sense that the  human skull  had need of this

“ how is the world ? ”

i don’t know how the world is

“ surely you must know how the world is ”

no, i don’t

“ we are not going to have much of a conversation then are we ? ”

no we’re not

“ the air feels  muggy  when we get hot and sticky, that’s when

the air is warm enough to make us perspire

and the air contains sufficient water vapour to interfere with the evaporation of our perspiration and not allow us to cool down much from that

so mugginess depends on both heat and humidity ”

its interesting how you can flip flop back between views and the real view is a synthesis of them

you tube viewing recommendations are like some mix up of jorge luis borges’ stories

random and non random in the labyrinth of the library of babel

knowledge is the business of successive approximation, blowing out exponentially in both directions

knowledge is the work of successive approximation, blowing out exponentially in both directions

the chemicals in vaping  directly injure  the lungs

dr. larsen, a pathologist at the mayo clinic,  explains

you can tell the insane a problem they have or point out some error in reasoning

what do they do next ?

nothing except go away

some try to shout you down

that’s what makes them non-functional

brad, your t-shirts are too  “ safe ”

how about  a battle  between jesus and buddha ?

or jesus, muhammad, buddha and moses as passengers on the heaven’s gate spaceship driven by  bentinho massaro  ?

eihei dogen never uses the term  “ forgiveness ”  because its a bullshit term

why is that ?

because its an idea on the same level as self

the person you read in my writing doesn’t exist

its not quite me, its a double fold

there is an ambiguity in the  “ sour grapes ”  fable that the story doesn’t capture

that the grapes may in fact be sour

real life  stalkers ,    safer   and not magical i am afraid

shiey’s stamina is absolutely amazing

fictional worlds versus real worlds, both are constructs with different inputs

the essence of a  “ holy ”  religious figure is basically they have superpowers to distinguish them from the rest of us

jesus by comparison has broader  “ superpowers ”  than the castrated westernised buddha with whom he shares infallibility

interestingly western zen takes the castration even further by creating a sort of crimped omniscience for its  “ masters ” ,  namely that they are privy to a secret no-one else is and they are necessarily right

religious  superheroes  have higher psychological  “ superpowers ”  but lower biological and physics  “ violations ”

its interesting to compare the superpower mix for buddha, muhammad and christ

asian can be distguished from western buddhism by the much more aggressive superpower violations


there’s nothing more pathetic than buddhists grasping at the story line of that sanctimonous fart, the buddha

on the net, hostility seems to rise in direct proportion to ignorance

cataract lens replacement ops are really once in a lifetime operations, later operations are far more problematic

the yogachara idea that the only way we can know the world is our concious experience is ,  in fact, very greek and exactly what you expect from the origins of buddhism in the indo-greek kingdoms

david bohm’s view that there are endless further levels of physical reality below the quantum has the logical flaw of that view being in itself an end

interestingly russia was the same problem for hitler as napoleon and their  “ solution ”  ie invasion, worked for neither of them

the most glaring deficiency of the german airforce in WW2 was the lack of a four engined long ranged bomber capable of reaching the soviet union’s armaments manufacturing plants, yet the first flight of the american B-17  “ flying fortress ”  was in 1935

the senior levels of the luftwaffe were startlingly incompetent





a poem

words, intricate, multilayer, dense, a poem

everybody has their prime, though the prime isn’t quite what you think it is

disclaimer :

this is a stupid piece of prose which can mean anything including what it doesn’t   mean  ,  a left turn or right turn ,  inside out or upside down, and particularly what it is, isn’t and might be ,  but the opposite and same !

winners write the history and myths, the losers are not only facing the consequences of having lost, but lose their version of events

god or gods are superheroes, what a crap species humanity is that they are its highest aspiration, stupid cornflakes figurines

god or gods are superheroes, what a crap species humanity is that they are its highest aspiration, stupid cornflakes figures

at my age i have been through that many nightmares to not want to go through it all again though i do know now how to avoid some of them

there are those who don’t have genuine questions, but waste your time

don’t be dismayed by downvotes, they are a poor quality bluff by idiots

some people will waste their time arguing but won’t research, verify their opinions or weigh in any real world experience but they are happy, nay prefer to argue forever wasting your time in a gluttonous joy of screwing your day up

for sheer tragedy its hard to beat the life of sylvia plath

she basically got fucked over by the incompetence of the world

i do think that period was anti-intellectual and anti-artistic and she was a fish out of water without real companionship or support

i’m not prepared to  continue this ,  you are dissing me, my experience and what i am saying

you really have a  “ bad attitude ”  to others, treating their time as worthless

life is like a spreadsheet where unbeknownst to you the parameters are constantly being altered and nothing ever adds up

the basic tragedy of life is we are stuck in a cycle of growth and decay and we don’t really figure things out until we are in the decay portion

“ a jack of all trades and a master of none ”

a master of all trades and a jack of none

fashion shows are  the archtype  of the female condition, that constant posturing to convey status and suck the energy of males

paul-michel foucault has  an interesting thesis  about modern medical   “ survellance ”  norms actually being re-invented from christian  “ pastoral power ”

surprisingly even quite old latex pillows can be an irritant problem for some

the word  “ cunt ”  seems to be gaining prominence and i wondered what the meaning is which i think is a woman oblivious to and lacking sympathy for, the problems of others

this woman  is a cunt

@2:17 of 4:04

it is a mistake

to try

to make

sense of

this world

it is


and nonsensical

what is really happening on r|zen ?

its to elevate fictions to superhero status and then by commenting on the fiction, induct an illusion of one being a similar  “ superhero ”  oneself

a literal jorge luis borges story

john of the cross, catherine of sienna and teresa of avila are the prominent mystics in the catholic church

there’s also the desert fathers, not catholic, but very much of interest for celibates

you want to be able to reach into the catholic belief system for material

the catholic church is in disarray and there’s a vacuum there

almost complete fasts with care to keep a tiny amount of sugar in the stomach so as to keep the sugar loving microbiome alive and not displaced by the protein eating microbiome is a very useful skill, especially for the overweight

however skill is needed because it can go wrong ,  especially for those in less than  “ robust ”  health

my advice to some-one on being a “ teacher ”

brad warner is really i think a writer trying to make an living in retreats, his great weakness is he is not building an organisation with competent volunteer women who will do a lot of the organisational work

if you can stay celibate its a huge advantage in this area

he says he gets a lot of his income now from web donations so you should think about setting something up

in terms of this  “ work ”  both brad and lisa cairns are messed up by their sex lives, because you are celibate, even at this point you are well ahead of any other teacher

i really think dogen was right, married with kids is such a different world it doesn’t mix well with  “ spiritual work ”

on the other hand you don’t need your audience to be celibate at all, only you need to be

i’d steer clear of bentinho massaro, he’s an intelligent schizophrenic, its actually a cult

childless people/women are your ideal  “ zen ”  audience, have money, limited family distraction and are looking for something

95% of actors and actresses are fruit loops

it is a mistake

to try

to make

sense of

this world

it is


and sensical

if you can swallow that

you are enlightened

it is a mistake

to try

to make

sense of

this world

it is


and sensical

physical knowledge is surprisingly quantum, it just seems to go on forever with high degrees of uncertainty

shades of lewis carroll, i read this poem by fujiwara no teika

with the autumn wind

turning back the flowing sleeves

of a traveler,

how lonely in evening light

is the bridge above the gorge

and re-worked it into this

in the quiet of the night

autumn foliage


a foot bridge hangs


across the gorge

i’m not a person who remembers the past well, it comes and goes

mainly goes

there are a  finite number  of books in the library of babel

youtube has some  good videos  on jorge’s short story

i would say the universe both has a shape and doesn’t

helicoids  are a type of surface called a rolled surface, its made entirely out of straight lines hence their use in architecture

being robust to criticism in a netverse of shrinking violets

hard to fathom

the insanity of avoidance

zen in theory at least should be about being robust to criticism,

some of those old masters did nothing but talk

painful silence is not an answer

a poem by fujiwara no teika

your face

i cannot forget since

our parting

traces of you

remain resting on the moon

my  reply

your face already fading in the landscape





more  poems  by him

i really feel a couple of hours a day  “ do nothing time ”  pretty well covers the ground for retreats

however, that is in the context of living by myself and not talking to anyone for days on end

when i have a virus i don’t feel like eating, its not too difficult to follow that feeling and fast or semi fast  (say a teaspoon of jam in hot/warm water a day to keep some sugar coating the stomach)

writing from the point of view of existence is necessarily meaningless

writing from the point of view of existence is meaningless

i notice with my writing that if i use stuff that is a bit peripheral to me, it loses energy and i start to ask what i am doing

louise bourgeois in the last thirty years of her life  produced more  than twice what she had made prior to 1980

she died in 2010 at age 99

well, there’s hope isn’t there

the untalented with their sly putdowns, behind the scenes backstabbing, duplicity, dissembling

that’s their true talent

paul mccartney  explaining  how he wrote his songs, it makes sense, he was actually re-synthesizing a vast array of previous popular music, so he was, in that sense a prodigy and this previous sourcing was the root of his success

choral music, too sweet for my own good

some zombie on r|soto upbraids me

why r u on this sub then ?  this is a place to discuss soto zen practice, why do you think your comments are appropriate here ?

my  reply

its like jorge luis borges’  library of babel  isn’t it

wasn’t eihei dogen attempting to make sense of the library ?

in actual fact i take dogen’s writings and the chinese tradition he is associated with to be primary, he changes his opinions as he gets older and you and i like other travellers in the labyrinth of the library forever look at at books we cannot understand the meaning of because we are not readers in nor from the time of medieval japan he wrote in

also it pays to bear in mind that modern soto zen is a political construct from the meiji period and dogen himself would have never given rise to the war criminality of the soto school during  WW2

see you in whatever hexagon  “ in the library ”

my mother mentioned my first birthday being celebrated under the plum tree at our farm at lake rotoma

yeah, i remember the flowering trees on the hillside at rotoma, the sadness of a lost world

one of the things about the net is the incredible amount of imitative writing and the pretense of an in depth understanding that shows plainly in the endless garbage spewed out

its just so millenial, expecting an effect without the necessary work and all their effort goes into trying to force out writers who show them up and promoting their bullshit

you bail them up and all they do is run off to do it somewhere else

my mother, recently in tokyo commented on the kittykat craze there

my  reply

apparently the japanese will pick up anything and add it to their cultural lexicon without much thought 

my further comment

she and her family were evacuated from auckland at the beginning of world war two because of the japanese threat of invasion, its strange how times can change so much

“ why am i here ”

well modern science gives the best answer, we are here because of our ability to create continuity for our genes

‘ what is life about ’  is an answerable question because it actually doesn’t mean anything whch is the only basis for having a consistently unanswerable question

famous people are removed from you by their busyness

its a self-limiting machine

they run the treadmill of their fame, few escape

an ad or  science fiction ?

i think poetry, unlike prose is art

that’s because its a circumscribed object designed to have an effect

i’m amazed to see how much i relate to artists and the way they think about what they do

there’s going to be a lot of obsolete drawings of tyrannosaurus rex around, the latest evidence suggests a  fur-like  coat

apologists are people who bullshit to themselves

why ?

i’ve lived in various  “ spiritual centers ”  and seen people waste half their lives on nonsense

i think we have a talent in an area when we get things right unconciously

its easy to observe the areas this isn’t true for us

religion is a farce of stupidity, vocabulary, tragedy, viciousness and humourless comedy

zen is a farce of stupidity, vocabulary, tragedy, viciousness and humourless comedy

zen is a sort of mild psychward for the semi-insane to pass the time

i had a vision of a blake-like universe

green and strong

then i saw its other side

damaged and riven

so, when i listened to the  first version  i thought, well that’s too simple and lacks span so its created by artifical intelligence and when i heard the second i thought, well that’s obviously bach, has span, modulation and range, its too obvious so its the AI version and the other is some bad bach

its called  “ overthinking ”

there is no end to beautiful women and ugly men

what does this tell you ?

there is no end to beautiful women and ugly men

what does this say ?

as i get older and possibly wiser

i see

a lot of things


i thought



and still

i puzzle


what does


as i get older and possibly wiser

i see

a lot of things


i thought



i think ginger cats are like red headed people, the ginger toms seem to be constantly injured from fights

“ do you have any regrets in life ? ”

lost count

i think buddhism and zen in the west is much more teacher culty than in asia because there, they are cultural religions and broadly based in the population and here in the west, they are well, personality cults

the photo  should be landscape, not portrait oriented, but it shows how psychotic people can be

look at the size of the long magazine, its a massacre kit

what  a black hole really  looks like

if you have any doubts about people’s ability to believe and implement total crap just look at marxism and communism

“ its such a mad crazy world these days that everybody i draw is  a lunatic  ”

george condo

the emperor  hadrian  lived in surprisingly tasteful if somewhat grandiose  style

he was the middle of the five good emperors

the problem with the idea of having a changed past is usually there’s any number of unforseeable alternatives with far worse outcomes

if you are alive and in reasonable health today, that is a successful road

my god, this american  (florida, where else?)  who is building an AR-15 turned up on  zen mystical  of all places

they really don’t think straight, i am showing what he wrote below because in itself, its a sort of hubric insanity, quite schizophrenic really

“ Interesting comment about the AR15.  That’s a shame they are illegal where you are.  I have a pretty good understanding of how the media paints these firearms.  It really is a misrepresentation

Your comment of only having one purpose is unusual.  For example, a pencil can be used to write something or could can be put into someones eye.  (X-men paraphrase)

But pencil’s only have one purpose, right ?  Not exactly; the purpose of everything depends only on what the user does with an object.  A semi-automatic rifle has many uses just like a pencil does

My line of interest is to protect people from others who intend to harm them.  Putting myself in harm’s way and training to protect others is just the way I am.  And strangely enough, I think hunting is immoral when our culture has farms for getting meat.  I could agree with hunting completely if you are facing starvation.  But that’s just me ”

my reply is below

well new zealand had a recent  massacre  in christchurch with an extended magazine AR-15 amongst other weapons

the perpetrator was actually an australian, who was unable to get that sort of gun in australia, it having been made illegal after the port arthur massacre and went to NZ where it was still legal

its even better than a machine gun on people in confined spaces because you don’t have to carry so much ammunition

the reality is that the homicidal insane will continue to take advantage of such an ideal weapon in the usa until they are banned

one of the advantages of hunting is you understand what a nasty business it all is and you can also place guns in a functional context

sepehr has made a very good  compilation  of alfred bestall’s  “ rupert the bear ”  art

this is what happens when you fall from 60ft  [18.3 meters]

“ when she came down she landed feet first, thankfully, but more on her right side so her right heel was shattered, both ankles were broken, the right femur was snapped, multiple pelvis fractures, lowerjaw/mandible broken, missing teeth, both lungs were collapsed ”

news report

“ like cleaning a brown floor only to find out its actually a gold floor.  the biggest difficulty is using a cleaner that actually wipes away the grime.  i guess i’m trying to get the right cleaner before i get to scrubbing ”

ed.  he also asks about zen related reading material

my  comment

its so hard to know what will gel with a person in terms of reading

if i had some rules they might be

poetry trumps prose

when you read a translation, they will vary hugely in fidelity to the original author

zen ,  like all religions is actually a literary construct, this is really hard for people to get, that you think you are reading historical truth, but in fact you are reading something that is 90% a story

as to what zen is, going back to your example of scrubbing a dirty floor to reveal a  “ gold floor ” ,  its more that you have to build  “ the gold floor ”  but the fact that its built doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist

a foundation of zen is  the story  about shenxiu writing a poem saying that what zen is about is like cleaning the dust off a mirror so it reflects perfectly and the 6th patriarch deconstructs that poem by essentially saying that the poem is meaningless

so in essence zen is this deconstructive and reconstructive process

is there a gold floor and if so what is it ?

how is it revealed ?

the most zen book i have ever come across is  the dream of red mansions  and that’s because it was written in a period of the flowering of a female zen culture that has been pretty well lost to time and you can see it right through the book

yeah, sailing up the west coast of the north island of new zealand nearly being run over by a big fishing boat at night because they didn’t have their radar on or had no-one on watch

they passed a couple of meters away, they never saw us at all and i was the only person who saw how close they were

maternity makes a woman much more  risk adverse ,  its a physiological change  (along with others)  in the brain, the brain literally changes

analogies don’t prove anything

i think the point about narcissus is, if he is so sufficient, why would he need this image of himself ?

the trouble with sculpture is its too cumbersome to move quickly though abstract expression

the true zen is built around authentic enlightenment experiences, you will not understand without these

the pretending idiots lack the self honesty to admit that these haven’t occurred with them

today’s zen is just badly constructed rubbish so the suburbanites can bask in comfy feelings of superiority

i shot four wallabies very early this morning, a big feed for the cats

they showed their appreciation by vomiting outside the door

quoting criticism doesn't mean you escape the criticism

people quote something thinking they are on the  “ right side ”  of the quote

they are not on the right side of the quote

r|zen, where they quote criticisms, thinking they escape the criticism

they do not escape the criticism

the twenty-one card trick

how does anastasia make it appear that brady  has chosen  the right card ?

if you have a false belief and we all have false beliefs, its not something passive that can be ignored, to the contrary, its always searching out its truth or falseness, often in quite subtle and ruthless ways

its not  ‘ them and us ’

we are all pretty much the same machine

analogies are usually wrong and actually beliefs

“ spiritual work is like cleaning a brown floor only to find out its actually a gold floor.  the biggest difficulty is using a cleaner that actually wipes away the grime.  guess i’m trying to get the right cleaner before i get to scrubbing ”

the analogy is wrong and actually a belief

its the energy behind the madness that always amazes me

no matter how fair the flower, it always fades in the same cycle as everything else

no matter how fair the flower, it fades in the same cycle as everything else

no matter how fair the flower, it fades in the same cycle as everyone else

a leo tolstoy quote

life is a dream and death an awakening

my  reply

life is a word and the nonsense that follows real

the unreality that follows the real is unreal

where is death in all this ?

at the most fundamental level we have a drive to prove or disprove the validity of a belief

with false beliefs we can try to reshape the world to conform to the belief rather than alter our belief which is what religion and cultural memes like ufo’s/aliens do

the intensity of the drive, like medieval pilgrims going to the holy land or the attempt to storm  “ area 51 ”  is always surprising

the ambiguity of knowing something is false and representing it as true by building churches, cathedrals, statuary, making costumes, staging plays/mock realities, endless writing, penalising  “ disbelievers ”

there is this relentless forward energy to grasp the untrue as real

people  “ invest ”  in a certain way of looking at the world

if you  “ disrupt ”  their investment with a more correct way of looking at things they will get quite hostile and avoidant

this, i figure is because the neurological costs of the change are impossibly high

this is actually what zen is about, circumventing these costs in a practical way to get the necessary change in understanding

what interests you ?

i have compiled  a list  of reading of what interests me which is essentially mystical, that there is some explanation of life and what it is beyond conventional understanding

i’ve had quite a bit of real life zen experience and its a bit culty and stupid

r|zen i used to post on a lot too, but it dawned on me it was a psychward

you can’t infinitely divide space and time, even at a distance you still get a probabilistic interaction between two objects

interestingly fractal zooms exist in the same world zeno’s paradox exists in

a way of defining quantum physics is that its what separates this real material world from ideal mathematical worlds

the price of existing versus the beauty of non-existing

john keat’s  “ ode on a grecian urn ”  is this sort of world, nothing ever touches, but exists there forever

zeno’s paradox  holds true in the same world as fractal zooms exist, there’s an infinitely sharp divison between objects

in our world the boundary between two objects is fuzzy and at a certain point you start to get probablistic interactions between two objects

mathematics is for wannabe philosphers who can’t make the jump to abstract, imaginative and literary thinking

of course, just about all philosophers or those that aspire to it are wannabe anyway, so it certainly is a category

the basic problem with life is we don’t live long enough and everything passes too fast

the brain  “ self therapizing ”  from the  dmt damage  ?

its really creepy, the web is infested with these types

he also posts here, with an interesting  comments  section

alcohol doesn’t seem to make for the outright insanity that these modern recreational drugs do

what i have never seen mentioned about frank llyod wright is in august 1914servant  went bonkers  (after likely being fired and the subject of racial slurs)  and killed llyod’s  lover ,  her two visiting children and four others

tracey emin gives a good  explanation  of louise bourgeois’s work

louise is a very zen artist, practical, rough and most importantly, long lived to get the progression only a long life can

one of leo tolstoy’s problems


his wife was more autistic than him

unless you read history you will never understand politics

unless your read poetry and take an interest in art you will never understand the failure of religion

unless you get time by yourself you will never understand the error of the world

unless you read history you will never understand politics

unless your read poetry and take an interest in art you will never understand the failure of religion

unless you get time by yourself you will never understand the error of the conventional world

i have aways  ‘ misspelt ’  debilitate as dehabiliate assuming the de- was some sort of inversion modifier, but as it turns out its debilis/debility versus habile/able, not exactly black and white but debilitate is the most common use so i will stick with that

zen is actually a doing thing

not a talking thing

you have to get the solitary time

you have to do the right sort of reading

you have to upgrade your social, life interaction and writing skills

you can be proud you are stupid, but where does that go ?

it beats me how the rinzai and soto both promote this  “ grunt zen ”  yet their founders where such literate artistic men

there’s nothing wrong with entertainment as quality entertainment will always teach, but trashy entertainment, lets call the simpsons and alan watts trashy, is debilitating

bourgeois is an adjective or name, e.g.  louise bourgeois

bourgeoisie is a noun

it may not have puzzled you for more than half a lifetime, but it has puzzled me

there is a kitten buried by the path

that i loved

superb its long white fur

human-like in understanding

i killed it accidently

rolling the car back too quickly

it was sleeping on a wheel

internally injured, it half crawled

half ran away

until i ended it

i still think of it occasionally

and ponder the danger of having favourites

jordan peterson has got  addicted  to clonazepam and is in rehab

i think there’s an undercurrent of something wrong with a  “ rules of life ”  approach, too literal ?

he doesn’t have the dietary side even remotely sorted out

a rounded teaspoon of taurine dissolved in water taken later in the day, cut back on caffeine and step off the clonzepam over a fortnight

my rule of  “ one ”

the scale  of the royal palace of caserta is hard to grasp and is up there with the pyramids as a folly

of all the things that have left an impression with me

somewhere in the queensland outback

there’s a cave

with the mummified body of a mother kangaroo

and her joey beside her

inspiration for writing beats me

some days its as dry as a bone or outback creekbed

then others

it flows

without rhyme or reason

i presume there’s


rain in the catchement

inspiration for writing beats me

some days its as dry as a bone or outback creekbed

then others

it flows

without rhyme or reason

the mods of r|zen are subtle

they didn’t overtly ban me

but removed

my best OP’s

its a beautiful way of saying

we don’t want you

what i love

or hate

about migraine

is the way it unfolds forever

getting better or worse

but never


lynda hull

you can read what she writes

but all the same

 is it worthwhile ?

lynda hull

you can read what she writes

but all the same

 what is worthwhile ?

the social world of poets and poetry

awards, prizes, academic positions

teacher’s jobs

a meaningless mill

of the mediocre

a solved problem is a solved problem

the world seems to live on proxies for solved problems

if you want fame, write songs and lyrics, poetry is a lost cause

even big name authors have to  supplement  their royalty income

what does it mean to say i’m  ‘such and such ’  ?

on a battlefield you must be rational or you will lose the war

i may look strange but i’m not

i’m very very normal

totally human

why this is so ,  i  know

i may look normal but i’m not

i’m very very strange

scarcely human at all

why this is so ,  i don’t know

there are other worlds beyond the present

people have an inkling

there is another world beyond the present

people have an inkling

“ retreat time ”  is avoided

the sort of consideration or subject matter of some of what i write about requires daily time spent alone, it can be a walk by yourself, or just being at home unmolested by others and not listening to music or doing anything on a computer or the internet

without that basic you might as well join the insane on r|zen

sometimes i will write a poem or essay as the results of reflections in this time

interestingly joan didion got some of this time in daily as essential to her writing

a sulky  “ poet ”  complaining of his lack of a richly deserved fame writes

“ the majority of people who have read my poems have literally cried because of the way i affected them ”

my  reply

you can read that two ways, its rather amusing

zen, if they’re not quoting nonsense, they are making it up

the world of marketing is a fraud

the purpose of poetry is








 compatible ?

ed.  a redditor  OP'd

“ I teach marketing and hospitality but also business and finance

I’m looking for any way to tie in modern poetry to those subjects, or social media marketing or advertising or brands / branding  —  even  (especially?)  if they’re critical or negative about those industries ”

i wrote the poem in response and by way of further comment say

i think any poems in the areas the OP is asking about are bound to be unpalatably critical, especially to whatever administration he's working under

songs are already used hugely in marketing, but they are more in the nature of the mental candyfloss appropriate to  “ selling ”

good poems have a  “ hard edge ”

its like you can be too good at something and other areas of life drift into stagnation

there’s something insane about the way some entertainment personalities are built up and idolised

it has to come substantially from them and is narcissistic and manipulative and of course, totally unreal

they don’t all tolerate it, good for those that don’t !

the pretentious claims

i am pretentious


the pretentious claims





a quote of xuefeng yicun

when the world is ten feet wide, the eternal mirror is ten feet wide

when the world is one foot wide, the eternal mirror is one foot wide

my  reply

you are more vast than the universe, 10 foot equals one foot equals the width of the brane universes

none of the above is true

there is no  “ eternal mirror ” ,  branes or even you


heironymus bosch’s demons sit underneath

women drain your energy and take all your attention

its why men line up for the stupidity of battle

women drain your energy and take all your attention

its why men line up in the stupidity of battle

“ we had tea, then went back to the  “ sulima ”  which sailed just at sunset

flame trees covered the freetown peninsulas, and the setting sun set them afire

we were sure we saw a small figure in white waving through the flames as we moved out into the golden sea ”

who lives that sort of life now, so heavy with  the dreamlike

patricia janečková  working hard

the commercial machine of the art world  at work

meaningless talk about meaningless paintings

per kirkeby’s painting are worthless splodges hyped to significance

he’s driven by concepts and not aesthetics

edit   :  he’s partly rehabilitated, he likes  the byzantine

he finds me vacant

wherein lies

 the vacancy ?

the feeling good before the lecture was a migraine  “ prodrome ”  which is the start of the release of neurochemicals into the brain, which coupled with the heightened awareness and stress of the circumstances of the talk could have led to the seizure which is in essence a condition of hyper neural excitability, malign signal routing and confusion, so i guess   “ hysteria ”  is not too far from it

the  existential aspect  is interesting

women and alcohol were charles bukowski’s twin apocalypses

the poem  “ petropolis ”  (st. petersberg, leningrad)  by osip mandelstam is curiously prophetic being written in 1918

last poem  on this page

some of w.b. yeats  best poems  are embedded in the magnificent nostalgia of the byzantine

osip mandelstam also has some poems lit in that nostalgia

i have been posting a bit on r|poetry and i am a bit taken aback, the people understand or are at least interested in the meaning of what you say and are not hostile

on r|zen they don’t understand what you say and are meth grade hostile

a poem by michizō tachihara

walking endlessly on

i began to feel content

just then   —   a car overtakes me

my reply

by  myself

on a long road

a car rushes by

this is not quite a re-translation, you have to read what the re-working is from to get the sense

leo tolstoy’s  “ living for others ”  ends up as the fascist  “ living for the state, ideology and the personal power of the leader and party ” ,  a fundamentally depressive mode of being

susan sontage had a very  incisive  intellect and somewhat  interesting  life

dziga vertov. a soviet  mythicist

long island looks  more hazardous  than syria with its tick and multiple infectious disease problem

the biggest promotion buddhism ever got was under a genocidal emperor

you would think life and history’s contradictions would give some pause in the usual spewing of philosophical and religious bullshit, but the vomited stream a never stops does it ?

a poem by michizō tachihara

hold the tumbler up to the light and you see a town

a small town redolent with the skies of a setting sun

homing pigeons soaring on wind

even a rainbow quivers in the breeze

my  comment

imaginary world’s are better ,  yet lack energy somehow

there are imaginary worlds that cross the barrier and do not lack energy

i think i am getting an effective model on how  “ downvoting ”  works on reddit

basically, its a card game and you have played several cards when you comment or write an OP

your opponent can try to match what you have played by showing some cards of his in a reply to your comment or he can try to bluff with a downvote

now bluffing usually  (but not always)  disguises a weak hand so all you have to do is not be ruffled by it and leave it alone and you have won because its your comment that stands alone unmolested by the usual vacuous criticism

sometimes the downvote will be valid and its important to think that through, the biggest win is this because you have to work through your views again to update them and you walk away more knowledgeable and experienced with whatever subject

it is just amazing how relatively minor injuries to your hand mess up what you can do over the next couple of days

the doomed  jacqueline du pré

i wonder if  the intensity  comes from some premonition of her eventual fate, surely the brain must know ?

my page  on multiple sclerosis

eyal massad’s  paintings

you can push the envelope, but sometimes the envelope tears

blasts from the past

the  sheet music  in  “ the garden of earthly delights ”

we think of literacy as beginning with paper and papyrus, but the persians were using  cuniform  on clay tablets thousands of years earlier and even had a novel in the form of the gilgamesh legend written down

i really think notions of  “ guide ”  and  “ waking up ”  are nonsense

meaningless spiritual or new age jargon

honestly its hard to figure why leonard cohen spent so much time with that fraud, sasaki roshi

there’s plenty on the web about sasaki’s  “ activites ” ,  the world’s most geriatric sex predator

but most zen is a fraud, the teachers are clueless, leonard had way more understanding than any of them, you can see it in his songs, its just very strange



are not necessarily sane

you married an insane person

it happens



are not necessarily sane

it happens

jason writes

when i meet intelligent, agreeable, and sane people the conversation flows much easier as there is less tension and fighting, which probably take a good amount of energy to deal with

my  comment

not  “ probably ”

when people want to  “ spoil ”  your efforts, but they lack the skills to argue the point, they try to wear you down by being obstructive

the stream

a turbulent ruffle

brown and green on the stones that disturb  it

it has its beauty

the stream

a turbulent ruffle

brown and green seen through it

it has its beauty

the sentence that follows this is absolutely not generated by this sentence, no, no absolutely not

well, what was all that about ?

adam mcLean’s  journey in the detailed examination of  “ the garden of earthly delights ”  is one of those rare cases where the method itself is the answer, absolutely eye opening

the trouble with any poem ,  no matter how good is there’s always a rubbish edge

sorta like  hieronymus bosch ,  a bit of stupid insanity underneath all the brilliance

i before e except after c

with the rule   :   conceivable

against the rule   :   efficiency

today’s baleen feeders are only so big because of the  energy efficiency  of their  “ trawls ”  of  large  “ swarms ”  of krill

the blue whale is the largest animal ever and its interesting that its efficiency of large amounts of quality nutrients being swallowed that dicates the size limit

no wonder the large dinosaurs went so quick

the only rule i have about criticizing a poem is i should do it by a poem in reply

i thank that keeps me grounded

anyhow anywhere anythings

cummings goings clink inkings

the only rule i have about criticizing a poem is i should do it by a poem in reply

i thank that keeps me grounded

anyhow anywhere anythings

cummings goings clink inklings

i’m certainly in some respects schizophrenic, but functionally i’m mostly not, i have learnt to come from several angles and research in depth

lol, or at least i can see the necessity of

subway has more  additives  than you can throw a stick at

macdonalds is just  as bad

if you look at history you get a completely different sense of politics

the whole business becomes much more mechanistic and doctrine is so self-serving of certain interests and what’s more these beliefs mutate through time

there is quite a difference in strength of light between apogee and perigee moons and they rotate on a slightly longer than fortnightly basis

night vision in diurnal birds is not something we think about but the magpies here really are disturbed by full moons and the reason is likely an extremely efficient blue light receptor that reaches  its peak  in migratory birds

MSG   mucks up

the  serotonergic  system

the rate at which everything in the universe is moving away from everything else, ie   its expansion ,  is surprisingly handable

82  +/- 8 km/s/ Mpc

ed.  Mpc is about three million light years

once you get over the three million light years, its quite conceivable, so for every further megaparsec you go out, the universe is expanding 82 km/sec faster

i have always wondered why people lose their hair with chemo

its because the chemo  damages  the hair follicles by making the cells unable to divide

when people pretend, plagiarise or mimic some skill or ability, rather than exposing the fraud you could praise them and say what a great talent they had and could they do or provide more

that’s a more subtle punishment because then they have to meet an expectation well beyond any actual ability they have to deliver

“ the night before amy winehouse died she bought €1400 of crack cocaine and heroin, according to a claim made by a drug dealer ”

speedballing  can be fatal

william s. burroughs claimed opiate addiction didn’t affect his health, a plausible claim considering the age he lived to, but i have always found him intellectually blunted, just not very interesting despite a wide range  of experiences 

this study  explains that and relapses as well

“ opiates fundamentally change how the brain communicates with itself ”

congrats to the study team, there’s so much pro drug bullhsit around now, like there’s no problem with these substances

i’ve just realised, bachelor and bachelorette are considered transient states by society

millions follow an illusory dream, why not you ?

the human is being told, her situation  has changed

its interesting, she probably sees the human primarily as the hand

the answer is not in art, religion or philosophy

where is the answer ?

these  “ spiritual ”  idiots on the web are only interested in fooling themselves

and in real life i guess

jason  writes

at the end of my showers i’ve switched the water over to cold, even with less than a week of doing this i’ve noticed my skin improving

i would like to quit sugar completely, minus fruits

my problem is that if its in the house then i can’t control myself, which is why when i was living by myself things were easier in that regard

meditation just makes the crazy more crazy if all they do is imbibe the usual pop culture reading shit and media

the whole buddhist and zen thing on the web is schizophrenic, the commenters are mentally ill because of the complete lack of reality testing in what they say, the web is just full of these people who project and get snarky if you interrupt the craziness

why the  upset  ?

because it exposes




of buddhism

religion becomes just another soap opera

unless its supposed

to be historically real

wipe so many years of medieval theologies

what are feelings ?

something felt

or not ?

why fame of any sort or public broadcast is so dangerous is people who are really offended by what you write or do at some sort of psychiatric extremity can develop ideas and potential actions against you

they were not willingly brought into your sphere and would not have been there otherwise except for the public profile

whereas if you are just known amongst a small group by word of mouth who are basically friendly to you, there is less of a problem

entertainment seems to have lost its satirical edge

for those who don’t know, its taking  ‘ the mickey ’  out of something

this is not permissible in today’s age of protecting the gilded

the last two lines of w.b. yeats poem  “ he wishes for the cloths of heaven ”

i have spread my dreams under your feet

tread softly because you tread on my dreams

my  reply

well actually she hobnailed through them didn’t she ?

quite a listenable  choral version

the full poem

had i the heavens’ embroidered cloths

enwrought with golden and silver light

the blue and the dim and the dark cloths

of night and light and the half light

i would spread the cloths under your feet

but i, being poor, have only my dreams

i have spread my dreams under your feet

tread softly because you tread on my dreams

alexandra  tolstoy was leo and sonya’s daughter, but her life was more nabakovian than tolstoyan, that sense of a gilded life interrupted into great difficulty

the interview is not fair to her mother

leo’s ideas and implmentation  of education

heidegger was crazy, you can’t pull the abstract into the particular the way he did

the experential experience of mathematics is what mathematics is, its not necessarily axiom systems or anything

making the world in your own image ?

not much of a image or world is it ?

making the world in your own image ?

not much of a world or image is it ?

the  golden ratio  is simple coding that gives maximal packing

wipe  “ god ”  as a waste of time concept

you get the  “ saying something without meaning anything ”  award

dishonesty is your middle name

does it bother you ?

to love that well which thou must leave ere long

the last line of sonnet 73 by sir henry neville

the famous don't have time for you


being famous

is  a







of work

there are limits to the success of being avoidant

perhaps not

there are limits to the success of being avoidant

the paranormal is a magnet for schizophrenics

art produces

philosophy argues

theology babbles

art produces, philosophy argues, theology babbles

simple   complicated

complicated   simple

simplicity going to complexity

complexity going to simplicity

simplicity   simplicity

complexity   complexity

simplicity   complexity

complexity    simplicity

its easy to read, but its hard to think

when an old person gives advice to a young one, its actually a litany of his own mistakes

the young of course have no idea such a thing is even possible

what’s different about being old i think is lacking the energy to start anew

this might be a revelation to you, but you don’t have to defend bullshit