eileen's poem collation number XVI of the  index




tree trunks

stranded on the beach

curved and bleached

like the rib cage

of whale

we had a really bad storm last year with a lot of whole curved tree trunks washed up on the beach, they got embedded in the sand all curved up like bleached rib cages

AND  I  NEVER  WILL


She's too busy

descending

into a sane kind of madness

i can't

reach her

anymore


A  VIEWING


That's not my mother

an empty open mouthed corpse

she has gone somewhere else

this yellowed waxy cadaver is not her

Died of kidney failure yesterday all those bloody meds for years...

I didn't get to see her before she went which makes me feel very sad

The nurses said she was joking with them and ate a few mouthfuls of soup for lunch then went to sleep and didn't wake up

Not a bad passing given she had been in chronic pain for a long time

Haven't quite processed it yet

Dad is alternating between ok and wobbly

quite an effective  poem  by paul hardwick ,  july 2012

For Eileen Prunster

If       and I cannot

If I could stop time

at what spot would you

like it to stop

eileen's  r e p l y

if i could choose a point in time to freeze frame

the point before conception . . .

aged 7 things started looking a bit too real

although of course you need that to survive

rot sets in then with choices your forced to make

because you live in the physical

and nothing ever takes you back to that innocence of fact

where anything is possible . . . ;o)

----------------------

pre/primary school age was dreamy


CONDUCTOR


I'm not a poet

just a pen

Neighbours who chain their dogs up all day and night without shelter despite frost and freezing temperatures and don't seem to have any feelings about how awful that is despite the dogs whining in a pitiful way when they hear voices or see people walk past









































Taken from Burnie boardwalk the surf didn't quite make it despite the weather

waves went elsewhere ...

 burnie beach june 2015

Winter  Tuesday


bone cold wind on burnie beach

mad keen young surfers

waves out of reach

 burnie beach june 2015

NOT  AFRICA  JUST  KIWI  FRUIT


I have two vines

with nodding heads

   they look just like giraffes ...

long necks peering in

heads curled up in loops

A  STORM  BREWS


Wind

violent servant of a bruised sky

churns the sea...

flinging salt water mountains

that shatter on the shore

CHRISTMAS  CARD


birds in flight

crystals falling

breathless silence frozen

sun explodes

dazzling light

wings shatter imploding



Inspired by a christmas card front

WALLFLOWER


parties are tough


rooms full of hard eyed strangers


lasering you up


and


down


not sure about this one was just words i said to amber when she mentioned going to that party on oz day weekend

WALLFLOWER


parties are tough


rooms full of hard eyed strangers


lasering you up


                 and


                 down


not sure about this one was just words i said to amber when she mentioned going to that party on oz day weekend

FAMILIAR  UNKNOWN  UNIVERSE


I glance at you

lying on the grass

dozing in the sun

arms clasped behind your your head

so familiar

yet

containing a universe

a history

perceptions I will never know

LOVERS


The lake was blue and silver

alive with dragonflies

the air cool and still

stars unmoving

we had carried the heat of the fields

with us all day

brushing against each other

like sun against grass

clothes we had discarded

a tangle on the ground

still held something of that warmth

SLEEPLESS


I'm so tired

I feel like

I'm falling

through space

all my fears

rush into the silence

IT  SEEMED  LIKE  A  GOOD  IDEA  AT  THE  TIME


the middle of the night

shallow restless sleep



a

singularly

wild

idea

occurs



but sleep spawned revelations

from the subconcious



wither

and die

of ridicule at dawn









































GO  WALKABOUT


spring has sprung

or haven't you heard

can't you tell

 by the singing of birds?

winter has gone

and it's not too late

but there you exist

behind a closed gate

sat at your desk

no listening to birds

how you don't live

I find quite absurd



sequence









































 prussian blue hellebore taken by eileen prunster august 2014


How is this for an almost black flower a lovely hellebore from my garden









































SAYING  GOODBYE


i didn't know wether

to leave you

a note

or not









































SAYING  GOODBYE


i didn't know wether

to leave you

a note

or not









































FATE  WORSE  THAN  DEATH


He smiled weakly

and offered up

this

“ I'll be dead in 5 yrs if you don't come back ”

he said it was a love declared

and couldn't see why I was scared









































SURRENDERED


Giving birth

is like being eviserated

the umbilical cord

pulls your insides out

they trail forever after

the children you've born









































NOT  WITHOUT  PAYING


im not sure which

horrified me the most

the fact that

at aged 54 he

wanted to  “get”

a teen aged girl

or the fact

he thought

he could









































NOT  NEWLYWEDS


he didn't notice

she was dead

until the next

day









































SHE'S  SO  PRETTY  TOO


her fairness is

a saving grace

and I don't mean

her fair of face

she isn't cruel

unfair judgemental

intelligent

not sentimental

and for her loves

she's always there

won't let them down

when needing care



ed.  this my eldest daughter kimmi









































DAUGHTER


I called her Amber

because she's a jewel

she glows with warmth

like a fire fueled

an ancient soul

trapped in her eyes

just like in amber

are trapped fireflies









































TAKING  HOME  THE  BEACH


drifting through mist

scouring the sand

looking for shells, pebbles

twisted driftwood

ancient treasures clutched in hand

skeins of seaweed

splayed on the beach

foaming white lace

i dance

out of reach









































PLAYING  IT  SAFE


i can feel love

for a handful

of men

is it love ?

or something

dilute

to feel this way

about 4

or 5

we do not  “date”

or even kiss  (oh but our eyes....)

we

talk

laugh

sing

joke

together


i can feel love

for a handful of men

is it love

or something dilute


why do i ask









































POEMS?


these are just words

i fling up on paper

sometimes in ink

sometimes in blood

and sometimes

in prayer









































POEMS?


these are just words

i fling up on paper

sometimes in ink

sometimes in blood









































MENAGE  A  TROIS


in the real and unreal realm

a good neighbour

you and i

the odd kiss

occational hug

there's nothing sexual in it

no frission

no spark

it's like the echo of something

that might have been

but never will

a good neighbour

you

and I









































WE  ALL  WANT  TO  BE  CAPTIN  KIRK  BUT  INSTEAD  WE'RE  BECOMING  THE  BORG


i don't want some media host

telling me what's what

and  “ do we approve of this opinion ”

and  “ do we approve of that ”

as if they have the right to question

everyone's opinions

to call it in as if it's wrong?

hold several vivisections

let's share our thoughts on media

on twitter tweet and 2 facedbook

then hopefully with this campaign

we'll all have the same look



yeah i've watched a couple of segments of 2 morning shows this week while eating breakfast out of curiosity and been horrified at the not so insidious attempts to meld everyone into collective thinking and the scary thing is bods are embracing it as a good thing...it's permeating everything/where/aspect of society     the collective mind... fuck!   :o/









































LOOKING  FORWARD  THINKING  BACK


the desire to be free

of other people

of a past that clings

often leads to acts

that pave the way to remorse

a path littered

with the rotting corpses

of other peoples dreams









































LOOKING  FORWARD  THINKING  BACK


the desire to be free

of other people

of a past that clings

often leads to acts

that pave the way to remorse

a path littered

with the rotting corpses

of other peoples dreams









































REWARDED


daddy dear

getting all fired up

over the loss of a certain brand of whatever he likes

86

and this is it









































OLD LOVE


casual

but intense

relaxed

but exciting

a man of his word

who listens to mine

the possible

and the impossible

all in one

why do I dream

at this age

maybe that's all

there is









































OLD LOVE


casual

but intense

relaxed

but exciting

a man of his word

who listens to mine

the possible

and the impossible

all in one

why do I dream

at this age

maybe that's all

there is









































RECURSIVE


you morn me

in retrospect

and hurt me

in the present tense









































UNBEARABLE


oh god how is it possible

to love one another

so intensely

yet rub each other up the wrong way

no saving us

i want to dissipate into mist

invade your pores



This is a Dear John letter.....









































UNBEARABLE


oh god how is it possible

to love one another

so intensely

yet rub each other up the wrong way

no saving us

i want to dissipate into mist

invade your pores









































LIFE  AND  DEATH


had been to a wedding

a lovely affair

many humorous people were there ...


all through the night

we danced and we sang

throughout the rooms much laughter rang


home the next day

my emails i read

sorry said dad your sister is dead


Hi Eileen,


I did not want to break the news this way, but as I cannot get a reply on the phone here it is

We had a phone call on Wednesday morning to let us know that Pat had died in hospital on Tuesday morning

She was in hospital with pneumonia, then it was found she had a duodenal ulcer and was bleeding , but they could not stop the bleeding



Dad


(ed.  sat 22nd march, 2014)









































LIFE  AND  DEATH


had been to a wedding

a lovely affair

many humorous people were there ...


all through the night

we danced and we sang

throughout the rooms much laughter rang


home the next day

my emails i read

sorry said dad your sister is dead









































LOOK  DOWN  INTO  DARKNESS  AND  TRY  NOT  TO  DROWN


love is not sunlight

on gossamer down

or dewdrops on grass

in which our souls drown

not sunlight filtering

through lacy leaves

no matter how much

such fancies please

so why do we clothe it

in white lace and roses

it's merely a corpse

that looks fine in poses









































TOO  OLD  FOR  COUCH  SURFING  EUROPE  HE  SAID


can i come home

can't do this

no more

53

and

collapsed

on the floor

been

all over

Europe

in and

out

doors

drug fucked and

lifeless

really a bore









































TOO  OLD  FOR  COUCH  SURFING  EUROPE  HE  SAID


can i come home

can't do this

no more

53

and

collapsed

on the floor

been

all over

Europe

in and

out

doors

drug fucked and

lifeless

really a bore









































RUNNING  FORWARD  TO  GO  BACK


if i run

as fast as i can

maybe

i'll outstrip reality

and trick it

into rearrangement...









































GRIEF


every atom

blasted apart

reconstituted

in an instant

random fragments of memory

surface

then spin out of sight

permanence and solidarity

laughable

dissolving

everything tissue thin

friable









































GRIEF


every atom

blasted apart

reconstituted

in an instant

random fragments of memory

surface

then spin out of sight

permanence and solidarity

laughable

dissolving

everything tissue thin

friable









































RUNNING  FORWARD  TO  GO  BACK


if i run

as fast as i can

maybe

i'll outstrip reality

and trick it

into rearrangement...









































a couple of poems


the first I wrote after a nice day in john's garden on his birthday
to which I bought cake, present and card


the second he wrote after I told him I could not countenance a reconciliation on that same days end, the third my reply to his diss of me because I would not concede


all sounds a bit self important doesn't it Lol


just a summation of human stupidity


or just self inflation in the writing of all



SUNNY SUNDAY


i smile

he smiles

  and the sky ...

smiles too



i smiled

he smiled

we smiled

and the day

was new



John's poem


someone for work

someone for pay.

someone to call

on a bad day.



someone to share

someone to hold.

someone to lead on

and leave in the cold.



someone may not be there

someone may give up.

someone may find their alone

someone might say FUCK!!!



MY REPLY


well go ahead

malign if you must

I know the truth

leaves lies for dust

out in the cold

that's hardly true

when cake and good wishes

were brought to you

to live alone

is a choice

I have made

another's life

I cannot save









































a couple of poems


the first I wrote after a nice day in john's garden on his birthday
to which I bought cake, present and card


the second he wrote after I told him I could not countenance a reconciliation on that same days end, the third my reply to his diss of me because I would not concede


all sounds a bit self important doesn't it Lol


just a summation of human stupidity


or just self inflation in the writing of all



SUNNY SUNDAY


i smile

he smiles

  and the sky ...

smiles too



i smiled

he smiled

we smiled

and the day

was new



------------------------------------------------


John's poem


someone for work

someone for pay.

someone to call

on a bad day.



someone to share

someone to hold.

someone to lead on

and leave in the cold.



someone may not be there

someone may give up.

someone may find their alone

someone might say FUCK!!!



--------------------------------------------------------


MY REPLY


well go ahead

malign if you must

I know the truth

leaves lies for dust

out in the cold

that's hardly true

when cake and good wishes

were brought to you

to live alone

is a choice

I have made

another's life

I cannot save









































SUNNY SUNDAY


i smile

he smiles

and the sky

smiles too



i smiled

he smiled

we smiled

and the day

was new









































ALLIUMS


a curve of green

stems

in a brown

jar









































ALLIUMS


a curve of green

stems

in a brown

jar









































BOOK BURNER


i've never recalled dreams he said

although it isn't true

re creating history

is what he likes to do

it some how makes him feel good

as he would rather be

the man who has a perfect brain

no need for him to see

i wonder why he does that

i really couldn't say

should i just ignore it

and go my separate way









































when you start to  lie  to yourself about matters of health it really is of concern, I remember several dreams you have recalled and relayed to me   you'll diss this as spite probably but you really ought to try harder to get out of la la land it's starting to really affect your grip on reality your becoming the worst parody of everything you despise in others you attack all over the net

sitting in the waiting to die room along with all the other  birds of a feather  if you don't feel concern it's probably too late already



BOOK BURNER


ive never recalled dreams he said

although it isn't true

re creating history

is what he likes to do

it some how makes him feel good

as he would rather be

the man who has a perfect brain

no need for him to see

i wonder why he does that

i really couldn't say

should i just ignore it

and go my separate way









































nuns care less


“ if you don't have children and you teach then you run into the same problems as nuns, you care too much and put too much into the work ”


I've known 7 women who were taught by nuns and those nuns were abusive non caring meglomaniac's


as usual to you your flicking off broad brush stroke bullshit


what personal experience of nuns as teachers do you have Andrew?


you flick off bullshit and roast others who do the same as you


don't you ever see instead of imagine









































NUNS


i've known 7 women taught by nuns and the stories don't vary

cruelty

bullying

lack of empathy

care too much?

what crap

what experience do you personally have of them?

does she impress you so much you have to

bullshit  AGAIN

just to look good to her

why do you flick off bullshit you have not experianced

living in la la land you

do yourself and

everyone else diservice

when will you learn









































RATHER DISAPPOINTED


are you

stoned?

when you write

your poems

he asked

as if they were

nothing

more than

that









































RATHER DISAPPOINTED


are you

stoned?

when you write

your poems

he asked

as if they were

nothing

more than

that









































EXHIBITION


a vain and

troubled

man

in search of

disguise

he wears his

eccentricity

like a cloak









































BE DAMNED IF I'LL LET A RAT HAVE
MY TEETH


nothing

prepares you

for

the bloody decrepitude of old age

an obscenity of

plastic bags for urine

plastic bags for vomit

fear of losing

your teeth down a drain

egg white and crackers are all you keep down

grumbling old hags in the coffin queue

waiting for the shroud









































POVERTY


hung in black cobwebs

wrapping the ceilings

hot water cylinder

rusted to usless

old nickle plated

green tarnished teaspoons

food scraps that lurk

on on ancient linolium

a sprouting of mushrooms

under the cooker

bin bags all spilling

jumble sale clothing

death a relief

only imagined









































POVERTY


hung in black cobwebs

wrapping the ceilings

hot water cylinder

rusted to usless

old nickle plated

green tarnished teaspoons

food scraps that lurk

on on ancient linolium

a sprouting of mushrooms

under the cooker

bin bags all spilling

jumble sale clothing

death a relief

only imagined









































HELLO POETRY


i looked up some old poets here

and noticed they have gone

i've also done an absence

myself

not the only one



we come here to

exchange a thought

ours spirits get renewed

I wouldn't feel quite this way

if your poems i hadn't viewed



it just popped in.....    i wont hold myself responsible for the rhyming ones....;o)









































GET DRESSED LIKE A GROWNUP
GIRL


get out of those pj's

and into some jeans

altho i obey

i

don't know what that means

my life does unravel

undone at the seams

i prefer life by night

under moon beams



a poem about avoidance









































AN APOLOGY OF SORTS


capricious i am

that's just how it is

don't let it offend

don't get in a tizz

i do not reply

to many a bod

there is no offence

it's just that i'm

odd

you've all been so kind

i have to agree

please don't be upset

with me just being me



poem to all the bods on Hello Poetry that comment despite me not replying to them









































DEATH BE A  DANCE


floating in neverland

she takes on new

winged form



dazzling

bright

translucent

in flight



too close

to the sun

her wings will melt









































DEATH BE A DANCE


floating in neverland

she takes on new

winged form



dazzling

bright

translucent

in flight



too close

to the sun

her wings will melt



Not happy with the end it doesn't sound quite right somehow, maybe the rhyming in the middle makes the end unsuitable somehow?


anyway please don't make any editors suggestions for a different end as I will only get cranky as I do ;o)









































BARFLY


he gazes into an empty glass

as if all the answers

to all the questions

are to be found

in the dregs









































IF


dreams fill the night

full of air and grace

dragged into the daylight

they wear a clown's face









































HOUSE  PAINTER


through winning smile

those desperate eyes

have traveled the globe

for many a mile

with laughter loud

as thin disguise

there is no hiding

his desperate eyes









































 golden elm 4th jan 2014



UNWELCOME


a cold wind blows

and golden elm

is shedding her summer dress



gold medallions lie in pots

the ground beneath her

soon a mess









































SUPERHERO'S DO DIE THEY JUST DON'T REALIZE


i live in the real world

you know the one

where you just die daily

don't get to play super hero

or soar thro redditzen7thpatriarcterritory

blazing imaginary tales

jackboots on or is that Doc Martin's

a celibate giving relationship advice

a non believer asking for belief

a blaze inglorious

still still dies out









































SUPERHERO'S DO DIE THEY JUST DON'T REALIZE


i live in the real world

you know the one

where you just die daily

don't get to play super hero

or soar thro redditzen7thpatriarcterritory

blazing imaginary tales

jackboots on or is that Doc Martin's

a blaze inglorious

still dies out









































SUPERHERO'S DO DIE THEY JUST DON'T REALIZE


i live in the real world

you know the one

where you just die daily

don't get to play super hero

or soar thro redditzen7thpatriarcterritory

blazing imaginary tales

jackboots on or is that Doc Martin's

a blaze inglorious

still dies out



or    ( I like this one better ! )


i live in the real world

you know the one

where you just die daily

don't get to play super hero

or soar thro redditzen7thpatriarcterritory

blazing imaginary tales

jackboots on or is that Doc Martin's

a celibate giving relationship advice

a non believer asking for belief

a blaze inglorious

still still dies out



ed.  don't think the 3rd line is true tho

sorta is but not enough









































IT'S ONLY 8AM AND


i'm in mourning

didn't even see it

dawning

why do I do this

every night

and wake up

feeling

full of

.............









































IT'S ONLY 8AM AND


i'm in mourning

didn't even see it

dawning

why do I do this

every night

and wake up

feeling

full of

.............









































TRIVIAL


please don't give me

any advice

about infinities rewards

there are none



but then

there's the sun

the moon

and stars

birds

bees

deciduous trees

you

me

infinity



what was that

i

said



no I didn't go to work today









































TRIVIAL


please don't give me

any advice

about infinities rewards

there are none



but then

there's the sun

the moon

and stars

birds

bees

deciduous trees

you

me

infinity



what was that

i

said



no I didn't go to work today









































ANNIALATED


you bring yourself

into the room

your ego follows

all too soon

you feed it till

it swells and grows

and pretty soon

it's all that shows









































NO REPLY


your silences

hold more truth

than anything

you say









































OCCUPIED


oh fickle poem

why haunt me so

bitch

just let go

I have no time

you win the war

I shut and bar

the door









































OCCUPIED


oh fickle poem


why haunt me so


bitch


just let go


I have no time


you win the war


I shut and bar


the door









































OCCUPIED


oh fickle poem

why haunt me so

bitch

just let go

I have no time

you win the war

I shut and bar

the door









































PRECISELY


my ugliness

is in

that I am

still here









































PRECISELY


my ugliness

is in

that I am

still here









































 my garden, 25th of september 2013









































CLIFF TOP MUSE


See how the wind loves me

it caresses my face with gentle fingers

lifting and playing with my hair

whispering sweet poetry in my ears



The earth too loves me

calling me to come down

and embrace in final ecstasy

but not today

I turn and walk away









































CLIFF TOP MUSE


See how the wind loves me

it caresses my face with gentle fingers

lifting and playing with my hair

whispering sweet poetry in my ears



The earth too loves me

calling me to come down

and embrace in final ecstasy

but not today

I turn and walk away



wrote it when I got up earlier









































write


hope u don't feel i'm patronizing


andrew's  reply


lol, I need all the patronage I can get


: o p









































AGING


living and dying

what a strange combination

of commonplace

and extraordinary



andrew's  comment


yeah, makes one think : ) , it is a very strange process : o)


my  reply


It sure is, Surreal almost...Lol









































AGING


living and dying

what a strange combination

of commonplace

and extraordinary









































HILL . CREST


all the colours of autumn

unfolded like a carpet

rolling away to the horizon

horses grazing

in far away meadows

clouds moving

like mountains across the sky









































HILL . CREST


all the colours of autumn

unfolded like a carpet

rolling away to the horizan

horses grazing

in far away meadows

clouds moving

like mountains across the sky









































we only talked for 20 secs then went our separate ways


the rest was in my head and probably maybe wrong


im not sure now


he was like the somerset drinking crowd and that put me off


altho he was something else too


a shadow of what he was once


doomed


'like us


nice looking but a reprobate too


he fancied me i think


that sounds vain


it was weird one of those fleeting flashes


im a bit mixed about it and maybe in denial cos it scared me too


well he and i are dying i could see that


so could he perhaps


he looked as if he knew me an autistic moment in time as we have sometimes with strangers that are not


like u in the hfs with that women u mentioned once that fancied u


and u her


i guess


yrs ago


like the vision of a differant untaken path


parallel roads that don't really cross


[...]  i was abouts to say it's cos i was reacting against my own attraction to him as he is the damaging kind and the attraction is fictional as well


imagination not reality


that's not useful


and it's dangerous


you have no idea how much i could go off the rails andrew


it's a tiger caged and covered over


i see it thro the windows occasionally Lol : o |


he was a window


in a flash Lol


y i reacted to ur comment i realize


  : o (


anyway im not chasing it managing to avoid it adroitly if i may say Lol


it's nothing to do with anything real or  “love”  as u think of it as, it's just immature urges/dreams/windows best not persued unhealthy and clogging


and totally unreal


just a recognition of AS  (ed. autistic spectrum)  dreamers between each other and an attraction to that


it's apparent on first glance no need to move in


that's where u go wrong


don't move in


go around


or walk past


or cross the fucking road


don't go there


u can't afford it


well maybe u can


i don't want to


it's sick


stupid wasteful immature


bullshit waste of time indulgence


u know that u lecture enough


for god's sake


Lol


anyway just my opinion


u like to go there


i don't


i dip ur toe in variety i'd get involeved individually at a lot less a rate for real


u play on the net


thanx for wot u said about my writing btw


as usual ur opinion is the one that really matters


besides my own Lol


i just waffled stuff really


always feel shy of u putting that stuff up


didn't realize u had


now i feel weird


that's the stuff i keep to myself


in my head


i don't write it up


that's how i think in myselftalk Lol


i don't usually let it go much


suppose to u i do sometimes


it's private Lol


i let my guard down when i talked to u more than usual









































A STRANGE EXPERIANCE


i did have

a man i didn't know

came up behind talking of queensland

and riding the surf in cyclones drunk



he looked wasted


-------------


me :


u don't like my poem?


it's ok if u don't


please say so if it's so


i'd rather the truth


andrew :


if you remembered the incident there is quite abit to it under the surface


so the poem will necessarily be good


me:


oh


i'll think about that


:)


andrew :


that's our lives in fact, riding the cyclones drunk


me :


some remembered might not be good poems?


andrew :


surfing


me :


well it wasn't my memory


andrew :


nah everything remembered is significant


me :


that's what makes it interesting to me


andrew :


ok you are tapping into some creative space of infinity


me :


it was a weirdguy that came up behind me on somerset beach at dawn one day


andrew :


an alternative world that is truer than this


me :


he was kind on nice looking and gentle but weird and sort of scarey


yes


so............


andrew :


you may have been surfing a cyclone dealing with him


me :


he was beautiful and so fucking scarey weird


it was surreal


yeah it was frightening


he was not tho in retro


i was thinking within gates


he was ok


blessed


and benign


gentle


and not quite there


thankfully he was a bit scarey at first


childlike and on the losse


loose


sad again


as AS is     (ed. Autistic Spectrum)


altho he was happy appearing in the waves


wet jeans and laughing


so who can diss that


under the moon


and stars









































A STRANGE EXPERIANCE


i did have

a man i didn't know

came up behind talking of queensland

and riding the surf in cyclones drunk



he looked wasted