THE BLACK PLANET The pages of the book were old and brittle and the writing very faded but the reader did
her best. ‘Five years ago they came. They arrived by stealth one night and no one noticed. Then society began to fall
apart as they worked from within to tear everything apart. People began to vanish, their remains turning up weeks later as
a few bone fragments and a lot of dust.’ Haana coughed as the dust from the pages caught her throat. ‘A new order
was established, with them at the top and us at the bottom. It became hell on Earth...’ Haana put the slightly singed
diary down and looked at the Doctor. “An alien army invaded Earth and you forgot to stop them?” The Doctor
blushed, her cheeks matching the colour of her lipstick. “I was busy, there was so many things to take care of at once.
How was I to know that buying some lingerie would result in the Earth being invaded anyway?” “Cause and effect
Doctor.” Haana explained. “You do good for yourself, like buying some sexy undies and something bad happens to
everyone else.” “That’s the worst misuse of logic I’ve ever seen.” The Doctor mused. “However
it’s possibly true. Next time I’ll just have to restrict myself to ten pairs of knickers at a time. Come on, we’d
better see where Jean-Marc’s wandered off to. If you rescue him there’s a mars bar in it for you.” “Do
you think you can bribe me with chocolate?” Haana asked the Doctor. “Yes.” The Doctor replied casually. Haana
nodded. “You’re right, I’d do anything but men for it.” She looked at the Doctor’s startled
expression. “Well I do have my reputation to consider.”
Jean-Marc Baptise, an orphan turned time traveller,
sat on top of the pile of bricks and looked out at the ruined city that was once London. He gazed at the number of flattened buildings and heard the distant
sounds of sirens and dogs. Hearing a distant shout he turned around to see the slight figure of Haana running towards him.
He waved to her and turned back around to see a soldier holding a gun in his face. “Don’t shoot.” He said
to the mean looking warrior. “I’m unarmed.” “What you doing here Froggie?” The soldier asked
Jean-Marc. “Who were you waving at?” “Me.” Haana appeared behind the soldier and hit him on the
head with a large chunk of rock. “Ooops, I think that was a little excessive.” Haana looked down at the crumpled
figure of the soldier. “Thanks for saving my life.” Jean-Marc said quickly. “I thought he was going to
shoot me.”
Romana picked up her copy of Gallifrey Today and stared at the headline. ‘Alien invasion
of Earth, exclusive pictures inside.’ Carefully she read the article before making her mind up. “Lingerie?”
She asked herself finally. “The Doctor had her priorities right for once.”
The Doctor looked down at
the guard’s body. “Ok which one of you killed him?” “I did.” Haana held her hand up. “She
saved my life. Action man was going to shoot me. Haana is my hero.” Jean-Marc quickly mitigated for Haana, who had become
like a sister to him. “I see.” The Doctor looked at Haana. “Well I’m sure you acted as you thought
best, but I want you to really think about what you’ve done and there’ll be no more chocolate for you for at least
the next five years.” Haana pouted, she really was very sorry. She hadn’t meant for the soldier to die or anything.
She had just tried to shop him from hurting Jean-Marc. She liked the young French boy and thought of him as another brother. “Come
on then you two, corrupt alien dictatorships don’t just overthrow themselves you know.” The Doctor headed off
in what seemed a random direction to her young companions. “Last one there makes the tea.”
“Why
do you resist us?” Veer looked quizzically at the huddled group of humans standing in front of him. “We mean you
no harm, we want to help you reclaim what was taken away from you by yourselves.” He was seated on his simple wooden
chair in the briefing room. The walls were plain bricks and the floor was finished off with a stained wood covering. “The
hell you do.” Tex, a large man with a deep American voice glared at the
red and orange stripy skinned alien. “We know that you were responsible for all of this.” Veer shook his head
slowly. “No. This was not of our doing. The Mizina people seek only to help humanity.” “You’ve
done a lousy job of it then haven’t you?” Tex stood his ground.
How long has it been? Five years and what have you done? Nothing, that’s what. You’re not here to help are you?
There’s something else going on here and I’ll find out what it is.” Tex
turned to leave but one of the sell-outs blocked his way. “Get out of my way son.” Tex
told him, his voice like a quiet roar. “Veer is not finished. You should listen to him.” Veer gestured to
the guard and he stepped to one side. “I’m sorry that you do not trust us, please accept my deepest sorrow and
apologies.”
Tex stormed through the building towards the exit
when suddenly something grasped his arm and pulled him into a room. He felt pain in his neck as a syringe pumped something
into his veins and he fell to the floor wracked in agony. He convulsed and shook as a terrible heat flashed through his arms
and legs. Tex held a hand up and gasped when he saw that the skin was red and
orange stripes. “What are you doing to me?” His words were broken and forced and the English language seemed alien. Veer
looked down at the partly transformed figure. “The drug is working, we can transform humans into new recruits.”
He looked again as Tex’s body underwent an unexpected change. “Curious,
this one is becoming female. That was not expected, we must test the drug on a human female to see if there is a corresponding
change.”
The Mizinan female that had once been a human male got to her feet. “What the hell have you done
to me?” She shouted. “Tell me.” “You are one of us now, you shall begin helping us by finding us
a human female.” Veer instructed the new recruit. She was very beautiful and he considered mating with her. “Like
hell I will.” Tex shouted. “Turn me back, now.” “Why
should we do that? We plan to turn your whole species into ours. You are merely the first. You will help us by getting us
a human female or you will be impregnated and bear us children. I believe you will wish to find a human woman for us.”
Veer smiled politely. “From now on you shall be known as Quuz and you shall be my mate.” “What?”
Tex shouted but a bolt of energy from Veer’s mouth struck her own and
she knew that Veer would protect her from the humans and that she must help him turn them into Mizinans so that they wouldn’t
hurt her. “I will help you my mate.” Quuz put on the sheer body suit Veer presented to her as a gift of his love.
Looking at herself in a mirror she felt so special to receive such a great outfit. “The purple matches my eyes don’t
you think my love?” “Yes, now go my love and help our cause.” Veer smiled. It was all too easy. Her mind
was his to control.
The experiment was nearing its final phase. Soon they could begin the test. Jack Abraham paced
around the shabby building that served as his lab. It wasn’t what he’d been used to at Oriel
College back in his Oxford days but
times sure had changed since then. It was a grand scheme but it was the only thing the resistance had left, a machine that
would turn time back to before the invasion started. Jenni Peters found Jack sulking in his office. “So here you
are. I was worried about you, so were the others. You we’re there for the meeting.” Jenni circled her arms around
Jack’s waist and rested her head on his strong shoulders and whispered softly to her lover. “I missed you.” “I
missed you too Jenni.” Jack turned around and hugged Jenni. “This is almost complete now, then we can be with
each other and not have to worry about anything except the gas bill and what to call the kids.” “So you want
me to have yours kids now do you?” Jenni teased. “How many?” Jack kissed Jenni’s nose. “As
many as you want. Do you like large families?” Jenni rested her head on Jack’s chest and felt his strong heart
pumping. “Only if you help change the nappies.” She began to unbutton his shirt before running a hand over the
course chest hair.
Haana kicked at the ground, trying to express her guilt upon the debris. All she could think
of was that poor guy’s family then she got distracted when she thought about him having a twenty something daughter
with Sapphic curiosity and so she kicked the ground to drag her thoughts back to her actions. However a chorus line of can-can
girls started to dance through her thoughts and so she switched her attention to chocolate. Jean-Marc put his hand around
Haana’s shoulders and kissed her head. “You’re the best Haana, you really are.” His semi-adopted big
sister put her arm around his waist and he told her that she shouldn’t have anything to feel sorry about. “A mistake
is a mistake. You didn’t intend to kill the guy so you can’t feel sorry for an accident.” “I am
responsible though.” Haana hugged Jean-Marc. “I have to take responsibility for my actions and my mistakes.” “It
was an accident Haana. The Doctor wasn’t there, she didn’t see. I did and I’m telling you that you have
nothing at all to feel guilty about.” Jean-Marc took a bag of M&M’s out of his coat pocket. “One of
these won’t hurt you but it might make you feel a little bit better.”
Quuz moved swiftly and quietly
through the ruins. She had a purpose now, a mission for her dearest love. Veer. The name made her shudder with pleasure and
she knew that she would do anything to please him, to make him happy, to make him love her. She spotted a woman; she would
be the perfect specimen, Quuz was so close to the trio that she could hear them talking. Once the target was separated from
the others Quuz crept closer and closer towards the prey before pouncing, her hand clasped over the female’s mouth and
she wrestled her to the ground and rendered her unconscious. What strange clothes she wore though, a gaudy pink silk suit
with some sort of blue flower in the buttonhole and what sort of name was Doctor anyway?
THE ONE WITH THE
TIME BUBBLE Haana sensed something was missing but she couldn’t quite work out what it was. She tried thinking
about it but the chorus line of can-can girls returned and this time they were topless. She quietly drooled away to herself
for ten minutes or so as she followed Jean-Marc and the Doctor. The Doctor? That was it, the Doctor was missing!
The
Doctor opened one eye and quickly scanned her surroundings. She was in a rather dull room that was decorated in a post holocaust
manner with extra rubble and draughts. A Mizinan couple came into view and she shut her other eye. “Inject the subject.”
Veer commanded Quuz. Quuz eagerly removed the bright pink jacket and rolled the blouse sleeve up before pushing the syringe
into the Doctors arm. “Ow.” The Doctor yelped before remembering she was supposed to be faking unconsciousness.
“Watch what you’re doing with that thing.” “So you’re awake?” Veer stated. “No,
matter. Soon you will become a Mizinan citizen.” “What?” The Doctor asked in disbelief. “You can’t
do that, red and orange stripes are not my colours.” “You have no choice human.” Veer sneered. The
Doctor smiled now, her confidence back. “Ah, well there’s something you should know about me. I’m only half
human and once I get free of these bonds I’ll bring your entire civilisation to its knees.” Veer laughed. “You’re
a fool, there’s only one person in the whole universe who can do that and you’re not him.” He kissed Quuz,
his lips lingering on hers. “You’re partly right.” The Doctor nodded. “I’m HER. I am the
Doctor whether you believe it or start to laugh in that manner.” Veer tried to stop laughing. “Of course you
are.” He noticed that she had not succumbed to the drug. “You are telling the truth aren’t you?” The
Doctor nodded her head slowly. “Looks like.” She looked at Quuz. “You there, undo these chains. I’m
not in that sort of mood right now. I’m feeling a bit antisocial, why do you think that is hmmm?”
Jenni
flopped down next to Jack, she felt ecstatic. “You were great donkey.” “You were great too oyster.”
Jack started to get dressed. “I want you to turn the machine on.” “Didn’t I just do enough of that?”
Jenni grinned like the cat who did get double helpings of the cream. “Your experiment is ready?” Jack threw
Jenni her clothes. “I want you to be the one who frees the human race from this tyranny.” He paused by the doorway.
“I want this nightmare to be over so much. You’re the only ray of sunlight in this whole benighted mess. I love
you Jenni.” Blowing Jack a kiss Jenni finished hooking her bra strap and picked her trousers up off the floor. “I
love you too Jack, sometimes I think that only my love for you has kept me going all these years.” She finished getting
dressed and followed Jack into the other room. She pressed the button and watched as the lights began to flicker and she heard
a tone before it happened.
Haana screamed as pain filled her brain. Falling to the floor she rolled in the dirt
and clutched at her head as she continued to yell. Blood began to trickle from down both nostrils and splattered over her
top lip. “What is it?” Jean-Marc bent down next to Haana. “What’s happening?” “Time,
being ripped apart.” Haana’s words were a quiet whisper in the hurricane of her screams. “Too much pain.” Looking
up across the wasteland Jean-Marc saw a shimmering haze coming toward their position. “What the hell is that?”
He pondered before the bracelet on his wrist began to burn into his skin so he started to remove it. “No.”
Haana put her hand on the Time Ring to prevent Jean-Marc from taking it off. “You need to wear it, it will protect you
from the Time Winds.” Tears rolled down his cheeks as the pain became unbearable then the shimmering passed over
his body and the wasteland became houses and people. Somehow they must have travelled in time he guessed. Haana sat up,
the pain gone from her head. “I thought so. Somebody’s been messing about with things they don’t understand
and it was terribly crude. I thought I was going to die for a second. Hey I wonder if the next me would still be queer? There’s
a thought and not a pleasant one at that.” “Come on.” Jean-Marc helped Haana to her feet. “How
do you feel?” Haana felt her pulses and her temperature. “Not bad for some one who’s almost been torn
to her component molecules by a nasty time bubble. I think we really should investigate what’s going on don’t
you?”
The Doctor felt it, something rippling the fabric of time and space. It was bad and it was heading
this way. Veer and Quuz looked at the strange shimmering wall and held each other tightly as it enveloped them. Quuz looked
lovingly at her lover then Tex was left standing there, wondering what had happened
to him. “Excuse me.” The Doctor called over to Tex. “You
look like a big strong chap, I don’t suppose you wouldn’t mind freeing me hmmm?”
They trudged
towards what they guessed as the centre of the bubble, wondering just who had changed things and why. Crossing a busy street
the two time travelling friends considered many possibilities. “It has to be the Daleks.” Jean-Marc pulled
a sour face as he spoke their name. “Maybe” Haana agreed, “but the Cybermen did have limited time travel
for a while.” Jean-Marc could only think of one other possible explanation. “It couldn’t be the Time
Lords could it?” Haana thought about it for a moment. “Don’t think so. They rarely go in for this sort
of thing.” There were a number of renegades though, people They didn’t like to talk about. Criminal psychopaths
like The Master, The Rani, and The Monk. There was other, less criminal types too, such as Drax and the Doctor herself. She
didn’t put herself in that category, as she knew that she really wasn’t like that at all. Jean-Marc wandered
into a newsagent and returned a few moments later, handing Haana a can of diet cola and a glossy magazine to read. “These
should make you feel better. I also got you this.” He handed her a half-kilogram bar of chocolate. Opening his own cola
he took a long sip before sighing with relief. “Straight from the refrigerator cold.” Haana looked at the chocolate
before tearing the wrapping off and popping a chunk of it into her mouth. She savoured the flavour before opening the copy
of Penthouse and reading some of the really quite interesting articles. “Thanks Jean-Marc, you really know how to cheer
a girl up.”
“Who are you?” Tex asked the gaudily
dressed woman. She wasn’t bad looking, maybe if he played his cards right he could get lucky. “That’s
right, I’m the Doctor.” She held her hand out in friendship. “Do you remember being an alien?” She
was a mental patient, Tex decided, some sort of escaped lunatic. Aliens indeed?
Then he did remember, he was an alien woman and he kissed one of them. “Who the hell are you anyway?” He demanded. “I’m
the Doctor, I did say. I’m the one you kidnapped and shackled up. Normally I expect that two planets out of three but
this time everything is really weird and that’s saying something.” Tex
remembered now. “I was going to turn you into an alien, but it didn’t work.” “Of course it didn’t
work.” The Doctor put her jacket back on and smoothed out the creases as she talked. “I’m already an alien
as you would term it. The drug was never going to work on me. You don’t believe me do you?” The Doctor noticed
the stare of disbelief and recognised it only too well. “I am a Time Lady from the planet Gallifrey. I travel through
time and space and I have two hearts.” She offered him her wrist. “See for yourself, I have a double pulse.”
ENDING
IS BEGINNING This was very weird, Jean-Marc thought; here we are in an ordinary town centre, which is in the middle
of war zone. The people seemed totally oblivious to what had happened to their homes, then he realised that for them it hadn’t
happened yet. “I think I’m getting a headache.” Haana put her hand on Jean-Marc’s forehead. “I
told you not to think about it, you’ll give yourself temporal shock.” There was something in the air, the very
air felt thick and heavy with chronotron particles. They seemed to be coming from a large brick building with that mock-Tudor
wood effect. “This is the place.” Jean-Marc looked at the building his companion pointed at. “How can
you tell?” It didn’t seem like anything special to him. “I can feel the pressure like a hot kiss in a
cool shower.” Haana laughed before heading towards the door. “We should try and put a stop to this.”
Tex
watched the strange, possibly mad, woman as they explored the building. It appeared to be some sort of bookshop and the Doctor
woman seemed to be claiming that she had read each and every book. Suddenly she paused and picked one up. “I suppose
you haven’t read that one?” He chuckled to himself. “I’ll say.” The Doctor frowned at the
cover. “Professor X has renewed himself as a woman, how peculiar.” Taking the book over to the cashier she took
a crisp new ten-pound note out of her purse and paid for it. “Now we had better find my two chums before they get themselves
into trouble. You haven’t met Haana and Jean-Marc have you? It’s probably a good thing you’re not female
any more.” “Why is this Jean-Marc a real hit with the ladies?” Tex
asked. “Possibly. No I was thinking more about Haana, I doubt you would have stood a chance with her libido.”
The Doctor smiled thinly. “Still she’s a good girl, her hearts are in the right place at least. Come along Tex,
we’ve got work to do.”
The place was very quiet as Haana and Jean-Marc searched each of the rooms in
turn then they found the device and they reeled in shock when they saw what it had done to the couple that had operated the
machine. The Time Winds had torn their bodies apart and put them back together again but their DNA had been so mutated that
it was almost impossible to tell which species the two lumps of flesh and bone were comprised of. “I think I’m
going to be ill.” Jean-Marc wretched several times, his stomach felt like it was going to turn itself inside out. “I
think there’s a bit of Rutan in there.” Haana observed. “Some Zygon too.” Jean-Marc looked at Haana.
“How can you be so calm at this? They’re hideous.” “They’re victims of their own ineptness,
their bodies have been severely warped. That doesn’t make them any less of a person.” Haana started to feel like
the Doctor so she quickly looked at the sexy brunette on page 45 of Penthouse. “What are you doing?” Jean-Marc
asked, taking the magazine off of Haana. “Focusing.” Haana lied. “I need to focus before I decide what
to do. That’s a complicated machine and there’s only two people in the nearby area who can figure out how to switch
it off without going through all that screaming in agony again.”
The Doctor and Tex
headed towards the source of the temporal disturbance, it seemed to come from over by an old house near an ornamental garden.
“Not far now.” The Doctor informed Tex. “Jelly baby?”
She pulled a small bag of the sweets out of her jacket pocket. “They’re very nice.” Tex
looked at them for a second. “No thanks ma’am.” “Don’t call me ma’am.” The Doctor
snapped. “Yes, it’s definitely coming from in that building.” They had to wait for the red man to change
to green before crossing the busy road safely.
Haana found that several key devices were missing but she managed
to improvise using a hair clip and a lump of blutac. “There, that should do it. Switch it off Jean-Marc.” Jean-Marc
flicked the switch and the coloured lights on the silver box like device stopped flashing. The tone also subsided. “Nothing’s
happening.” “Give it time.” Haana looked out of the window. “The bubble’s collapsing. We’ll
be the last things to feel the effects. Hand me the Time Ring, you won’t need it now that I’ve fixed the field.” The
Doctor opened the door and walked in. “There you two are.” She noticed that the machine was switched off. “Haana,
what have you done?” “I’ve switched it off. Things will return to normal now.” She grinned at the
Doctor. “Then the Mizinan invasion will still be a reality you stupid girl.” The Doctor was shouting, almost
hysterically. “Don’t call me that.” Tears rolled down Haana’s cheeks. “I’m not stupid.” “I
could have arranged it so that the Mizinan’s never invaded.” The Doctor gasped as the shrinking field of the time
bubble came through the walls of the room. “That wouldn’t be right Doctor.” Jean-Marc shouted at the
Doctor. “Haana is right, all you wanted to do was cover up your mistakes. You need to take your own advice and take
responsibility for your actions.” The field passed over Jack and Jenni; they found themselves quite human once again.
Then Tex was enveloped in the field and he was turned into Quuz once again.
Finally the field enveloped The Doctor, Haana and Jean-Marc and the room seemed to stretch out into infinity. “This
is peculiar.” The Doctor said to her companions in very slow motion. “I feel ill.” Jean-Marc convulsed. Haana
concentrated her thoughts to block out the pain. The chorus line of can-can girls returned once more and this time they were
all quite nude and she hoped they would dance for all eternity but they didn’t. Carefully she opened her eyes and found
herself lying on the floor of Marks and Spenser. It had worked...the time shift had worked. They had travelled back in time.
She remembered everything. Quickly she ran over to where the Doctor was fussing over which sets of underwear to buy. “Doctor,
quick. The Earth is going to be invaded any minute now. I’ll pay for these, you go and stop them.” “Haana!”
The Doctor exclaimed. “I thought you were in Disneyland with Jean-Marc.” “I am.”
Haana said as she dragged the Doctor towards the exit. “This is me from the future trying to prevent something that
shouldn’t have happened.” “You’re interfering in history?” The Doctor gasped. “They
won’t like that at all.” “Stop talking and get with the walking.” Haana waved the handful of knickers
in the Doctors face. “Sometimes you just have to prioritise, the Earth is more important. Now go get them.” She
walked over to the stunned cashier, who’s name badge identified her as Penny, before handing over her platinum credit
card. “People today, just no sense of priority.” She took Penny’s hands in hers. “Are you doing anything
right now? That’s not a chat up line, more like a cry for help.” When Penny nodded Haana took a hold of the cashier’s
slender wrist and activated the Time Ring pulling them both out of time and space.
The TARDIS materialised on the
bridge of the Mizinan’s command ship and the Doctor emerged from it. “Hello, I’m the Doctor and I’d
like to have a chat to you about your anti social tendencies.”
Jean-Marc stared aghast as Haana suddenly
vanished in front of his eyes. Then he heard her voice behind him and he turned around to see her standing with a ginger haired
girl.
“The Doctor left these behind, see that she gets them.” Haana handed the shopping bag to Jean-Marc.
“I’m going now Jean-Marc, the Doctor will understand, but I want you to know that I’ll always be there if
you need me. The Time Ring you have is a parallel version of this one; you can use it to call me. Just press the ruby then
the sapphire followed by the diamond.” Haana hugged Jean-Marc. “This is not goodbye, I just need some time to
do my own thing and show Penny here the universe.” “I’ll miss you.” Jean-Marc admitted. “You’re
the best sister I never had. I’ll make sure the Doctor doesn’t get into any trouble while you’re away.”
He watched as Haana and her new companion Penny vanished from sight only for the TARDIS to materialise in front of him seconds
later. The Doctor emerged from the TARDIS, her jacket was torn and her hair could only be described as a mess. “Where
is she at?” “She said to tell you that she’s leaving for a while.” Jean-Marc handed the carrier
bag over to the Doctor. “She said to give you these.” Glancing inside the bag the Doctor found a note among
the frillies and the latest Professor X novel. She read the note and a tear rolled down her cheek. “She’s a very
dear girl Jean-Marc. I’ll miss her a lot.”
Romana picked up her copy of Gallifrey Today and stared
at the headline. ‘Attempted alien invasion of Earth, exclusive pictures inside.’ Carefully she read the article
before making her mind up. “Lingerie?” She asked herself finally. “The Doctor never gets her priorities
right.”
“This is the Eye of Orion.” Haana explained to her new best friend Penny. “I think
you’ll like it, it’s very peaceful.”
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