Well, this week was an interesting one to say the least!
There's no simple way to break this news....
Keep your fingers crossed but we got a call on Wednesday afternoon from
LDS Family Services telling us that we had been chosen by a Birth Mother to adopt her baby that was almost a week overdue
and that we could have a baby within 48 hours at the minimmum.
As you can imagine we about fainted.
Talk about cramming 9 months
into a matter of days!!!
Mass panic ensued....
Where things stand today is:
Walter and I met with the birth mother
and her family on Friday night and it was an incredible meeting. She is an incredible person and is sure about the choice
that she is making. She is in the North Texas area so we won't have to travel more than two hours to pick up the baby. She
is 20 years old and was in a commited relationship for almost three years and planning to marry when she found out she was
pregnant (She didn't know for over 90 days!!!) and things didn't work out. There were no drugs or alcohol or any other
craziness involved...she is as "Sane" and quiet-natured as Walter is and she has had an easy pregnancy. She feels it
is a girl...we feel the opposite. She never found out but she did show us sonogram photos and promised us copies.
She feels that she is bringing our baby into the world...not that we will be raising hers and she is wise beyond her years.
She
has similar features to Shari though she is a little bigger boned. She has the same light skin with freckles that both
Walter and I have and her mother looks exactly like my Aunt Nancy. And acts the same too..... Her family let her
make this decision and for the Montgomerys reading this...her family dynamics remind me a lot of yours! She is the second
youngest of seven children in a family that are all active in the church. All brothers and sisters have served missions
for the church at the appropriate age and apparently both her parents have had lifetime careers in the public school system,
though we are all purposely vague about a lot of the specifics to maintain the privacy of the other's identity.
She
sent us the sweetest card about God sending a child of his to earth to be taken care of by an "Angel" and when God tells her
all about the Angel and what she will do for him at the end the child asks what he should call her and God says "You shall
call her 'Mommy'". Wow.
There was a letter to us stating her intent to place her child with us and some questions
and some of her hopes for the child which include a college education, a good work ethic, and a mission for the church.
For
those of you who aren't members of our church our Prophet counsels that when there is an unwed mother and marriage isn't an
option that the child be placed for adoption in a home where there is both a mother and a father and not only that but a mother
and father who are able to have their child "Sealed" to them in the Temple for "Time and all Eternity" to give the child the
gift of, according to our beliefs, being part of an eternal family.
This is quite a sacrifice for the Birth Mother but she believes that
this will be best for the baby.
She has known and loved this baby for 9 months and we hardly know it at all ...
it's hard to feel worthy under those circumstances. We believe though that we knew the child before it was born and
believe that we will "Know" it when it is placed in our arms and that he / she will be familiar to us.
The birth mother has kept a baby book (That just happens to be in our
colors - earth tone, "Eddie Bauer" type colors) all along and will give it to us to complete through the years. She
also has made a quilt in colors to match and has included a photo of her and the biological father. He is not in the picture
at this time though he was aware of her pregnancy.
We gave her a little, soft, prayer bunny that prays the "Now I lay me
down to sleep...." prayer. It is identical to the one that we bought for the baby. If she wants to "Be there" in spirit
as we put the baby down she can squeeze it, or it can pray for her...that she is safe...or she can put it in a box for later.
We wish that we could spare her the pain that the next few days and
weeks will bring her. It is almost bittersweet in some respects.
This will be a fairly open adoption...our identities are protected by
the agency but we can exchange cards, letters, photos and gifts through them more at first...tapering to annually after the
first three years. When 18 if agreeable to both child and biological parents they can meet. We have no problems with
this as we personally feel the Birth Mother is part of our family. We believe it is good for a child to have these roots and
their questions answered.
We have spent every day since that phone call readying ourselves as
much as possible and think we're just about there (Wherever that is). The yard is mowed, the hay is here, the bills
are paid, the house is clean and tommorow the groceries will be bought and put away. I guess we're as ready as we'll
ever be.
So....what next you ask?
Well they are inducing her tommorow morning (Monday) and the baby should be born
sometime shortly thereafter. Placement with us does not occur until 48 hours later for legal reasons so sometime between now
and Wednesday we will bring the baby home...barring any unforseen obstacles.
This is the keep your fingers crossed
part.
As you know, with adoption, sometimes minds are changes or there are other hiccups. It is never without
risk but we trust our Heavenly Father and are prepared to "Roll with it". This adoption is as safe a bet as they ever get.
We
are a little afraid to "Breathe" at the moment but we feel "Right" about things and as our friends it is important to share
with you.
Please keep us in your prayers as there are some big changes ahead.
If it is a boy his name will be Garrett
Haston Guess and if it is a girl it will be Morgan Montgomery Guess.
Another wonderful thing is that Shari's brother Scott and wife Tara
were due with their first child together last Friday and still no news so these two cousins will be very close in age.
How fun!!!!
On a much lesser note....Since our last update we have purchased two
bred Texas Longhorn Cows due to calve between now and December. They are gentle and fun to have around.
We also have
two new Danes that we have decided to keep.
One, Kaylee, (Nicknamed "Nose or Nosey Girl") is very special and the
gentlest dog we've ever seen...Shari's "Living teddy bear". All she wants to do us cuddle....and sleep...all day long.
She has ears that someone tried to crop and did a botch job on and she was bred for seemingly all of her days but her Nose....that's
the real story. She has to smell everything over and over again for long periods of time. Nose knows everything.
She does.
The other Sampson...yep, you heard right ANOTHER Sampson came to us almost two weeks ago from the Wise Co Animal
Shelter where he had been found Black and bloody with the millions of fleas on him and starved to the brink of death.
We are working with the vet and he is gaining the 50 lbs he needs to gain at a rate of about 5 a week. Otherwise he
is healthy and wound up being completely housetrained and knowing a lot of obedience. Walter is thrilled that he is the
biggest dane either of us has ever seen. He is the size of a large Afgan Hound. He is 5-6 years old and
Kaylee about a year younger. Both our in the house so our family is literally growing by leaps and bounds!
Pray that Walter finds a new consulting contract at work as is current
one ends the end of December.
We will keep you all posted.
Don't forget to let us know how YOU ALL are in the
meantime!!!
Love,
Walter and Shari
