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My dearest son,
As I sit here in the quiet of the morning, thinking of you, wishing you were
here to enjoy it with
me, a tear forms in my eyes. Tears of sadness, for I
will forever miss you. Tears of regret for all of the tough times
you had to
endure. I think back to the day you were born. I was so excited, I had the
little boy I wanted so badly.
Grandpa and Uncle Brian were just as excited
as I. They finally had a grandson and nephew after six grand daughters and
nieces.
I couldn't wait to bring you home to meet your big sisters. Little
did I know how short our time together would be. Had
I known I would not
have let you out of my site, so maybe it was for the best. You grew up to be
such a joy to me. I
was so proud of you and your accomplishments. Of the
loving and caring young man you were becoming. I think of that cold
November
night and a chill runs down my spine. How I wish I could take my angry words
back. That I could've seen just
how much you were hurting. Hearing the gun
go off, finding my precious son lying there like that is the worst thing I
have
ever been through. They say I was screaming and crying those gut
wrenching cries. Although I don't remember that. What
I do remember is
hearing Dr. Robinson tell me you were gone, seeing the coroner pull up in
the drive to take you away
from me forever. For a long while those tracks
were still all over the yard. I knew deep down where they came from, but
I
accused Dad of driving through it. Didn't want to think that those were
reminders of your last day here with me. I
love and miss you so very much,
my son. Not a day goes by you aren't in my heart and thoughts. I see your
friends moving
forward, going off to college. Thinking you should be there
with them. Your best friends Chad and Alicia have a baby now.
She is such a
cutey. I know you would love her just as we all do. And your nieces and
nephews. They are growing so fast.
I only wish you could've seen the twins.
Although I know in my heart you are watching us all from above. It just
isn't
the same here without you. Our lives now have a void in them that can
never be filled again.
I Love you My son, My baby,
My Matt.
Mamma
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