I'm organized. I got a schedule and everything. Everything is structure, function, purpose, reason, order.

 

Not for me, I mean. For myself, I still do all the random stupid crap that I've always done. I eat when I'm hungry. I go out where and when I want to. I'm a wildman.

 

But for the kids, we need a schedule. Dinner time, reading time, homework time, bedtime. I have to schedule time for everything. Seriously.Like, if I didn't schedule time for them to play outside, they would sit inside playing videogames all day. And when I'd say ":Dinner time" they'd just say "Wait til the end of Full House" or "Let me just finish this one level!"

 

The irony is, I waqs never even the organized one. My ex-wife was the one with all the schedules and budgets and pie-charts. I've had to make changes and re-prioritize.

 

 

Like, I got this new car. It's a grown-up car, with four doors and a big back seat and air bags. It's got a sunroof and a CD-player and a leather interior and a button on the keychain to lock and unlock it.

 

It does everything, except unfold into a giant robot. I know that there really aren't cars that unfold into giant robots, but sometimes I wonder if there could be. I mean, I wonder if it would even be possible to do. I don't think it is, but if it was, and if I was rich, I would totally totally buy one.

 

I started thinking about Albert Einstein and what else he might have done with his life if instead of thinking about theoretical physics, he'd thought about other things. And I wondered if Albert Einstein might have discovered Bigfoot, and I got out my action figures and I made up a little story about Albert Einstein: Bigfoot Hunter.

 

I used weapons from some old Ninja Turtles figures and I took some pictures of what Albert Einstein might have looked like if he'd been a Bigfoot Hunter.

 

Needless to say, I completely lost track of what I was saying before about being organized.

 

So, nevermind.