About ten years ago, they made this whole entire highway called
Ronald Reagan Parkway, in honor of our 40th President and former b-movie actor, Ronald Reagan. When Reagan died in 2004, my friend Alex called
to tell me about it. My first reaction was "Well, I guess the 80's are really over." I don't know what that meant but it was
pretty funny. Sometimes I wish I was famous so that I could get quoted when I say smart things like that.
Anyway, Ronald Reagan Parkway is so big and it goes East to places I never really have a need to go, and sometimes it
seems like a magical road that leads to magical places that only certain people can get to. Part of me knows that's not true,
but I'm still scared to drive on it.
I was driving somewhere on Ronald Reagan Parkway the other day and I drove past an extended-stay kennel. I wondered if
they had kitchenettes in them, but decided that they probably didn't because dogs don't really cook. I suppose they could
be trained to cook things, though most dogs I've ever seen eating things wouldn't seem to have the patience for it. I say
that because most of them barely seem to have the patience to even chew their food, and I think they must envy snakes the
way they can unhinge their jaw and swallow things whole.
I don't know what or how a dog might cook anyway, since they don't have opposable thumbs and couldn't stir a pot or flip
things with a spatula. They'd probably use their noses or just slobber all over everything. I sure wouldn't eat anything a
dog would cook. And I don't think that makes me prejudice against dogs.
Back on topic: Gerald Ford just died last week. They say that these things happen in threes, which is impossible to prove
but, since people are always dying, you can always name three who died around the same time even if they have no connection
at all.
Like Gerald Ford, the 38th President of the U.S., James Brown, who sang a patriotic song in the movie Rocky IV,
and Saddam Hussein, former dictator of Iraq. Coincidence....or something more?
