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Jokes
Europe
What's the best thing about the Chunnel?
It leaves France
What's the worst thing about the Chunnel?
It goes to England
The Chinese New Year
Here it is the Year of the Sheep and I'm still writing Year of the Horse on my checks
The Anti-Joke
How many white anglo-saxon protestant males does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one.
Star Wars
Luke Skywalker is flying towards the Death Star, and every time he gets too close to an enemy fighter, his jaw and teeth
start to throb. He doesn't understand why this would be, but then he hears Obi Wan's voice tell him "Luke.....trust your fillings!"
Pictures
Rosalie sent me this picture that she sent of a spider outside her window, along with an illustration of how the
markings on its back look like an alien in a jumpsuit with his hands on his hips:
When I was in Kindergarten, my brothers got to sit in Santa's lap and tell him what they wanted for Christmas.
Santa told me that I had to "find somewhere else to stand" because his lap was full. Guess I showed him. Bastard. I forget
what I got for Christmas that year, but I'm pretty sure it sucked.
This is just one small part of the Chinese menu that lists "Vegetarian Specials". I'm pretty sure that in
China, the word vegetarian means something else though. Something involving lots of meat. I did not make this up.
If I had the room, I would also show the rest of the menu, which includes sections of "Vegetarian Beef" and "Vegetarian Pork".
I am also not making that up.
Just look at all the different crap you can order on your pizza at this place. Check out the different "meats".
I didn't include the price list on purpose, because probably no one would believe it. If you still don't believe me, click
the picture to link to their web page.
This is the wrapper from the Cuban cigar my friend gave me. It was so awesome.
This is a mole that died. I wonder what kind of life he or she had, and if he or she felt that they contributed
to mole society, or deserved better than to die alone and have some freak post a picture of his or her corpse on the internet.....
I didn't create these next two gifs, but I thought they were funny:
So I got this job in sales with a big national company. To keep up on the competition, I started having
their catalogs sent to my home. Here is the actual label from the catalog that I got in the mail
(where my home address is, of course, blacked out, so that all you freaks can't find me). Check out the fake company name.
I found this one online and thought it was cute...even though it was a bit off-color...
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