And Yet Still More Random Thoughts

Forty Years Of Accumulated Wisdom

OK, so I'm older than 40, I didn't start accumulating wisdom til I was 7 or 8, before I knew everything at 13

  • Always hang up on telemarketers. You're not doing them any favors by trying to be "polite" and listening to the pitch when you have no intention of buying anything. Just hang up.
  • Those "consolidate your debt" things are a rip-off. Just stay out of debt and you don't have to worry about it.
  • Wendy's makes the best hamburgers.
  • If something is called cheese, and it's not really cheese, then it's disgusting. And even some things that are cheese are disgusting.
  • No matter what you see him on, Dennis Miller is not funny. Ever.
  • When a small kid joins the cast of a show that's been on for a while, you can stop watching.
  • The word "skank" is almost always funny.
  • It's better to be miserable and believe you're perfectly content than to live in total joy and not realize how happy you are.
  • When you get a mug shot done, they prefer that you not smile for the camera. I know that for a fact. I think the same applies to X-Rays.
  • People are idiots. Don't laugh. You're probably an idiot, too.
  • You think that being single is like being free as a bird, and marriage is like a cage. But marriage is not a cage; it's a warm, safe living room with a big bay window in front that you smack into trying to fly, and break your neck.
  • No matter how many times it comes back, disco still sucks.
  • I believe the technology exists to make a car that blind people can drive. The reason you don't see them is because they would take their arms off trying to read road signs in Braille.
  • If you don't have anything nice to say, go piss off
  • Love means never having to say go screw.
  • If you don't like someone, try walking a mile in their shoes. It may not help you understand them any better, but at least you'll be a mile away from them, and you'll have their shoes.
  • Everyone is entitled to my opinion
  • If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, set it free again. Keep doing that til it gets the idea and leaves you the hell alone.
  • Bacon is not a meal
  • The lint trap on your dryer has to be cleaned out a thousand times more often than you think it does